The mother of 2 siblings dies after living a very long and mostly happy and healthy life. It is decided that instead of doing a graveside service, a memorial will be scheduled at a later date. The memorial will take place at the mother's favorite beach, a place that holds happy memories of the family for both siblings. This location is planned 4 months in advance.
Sibling A must fly 2 hours, rent a car, and drive 2 more hours to get to the location, as well as rent hotel rooms. Sibling A's children also must travel to get to the location, particularly one who must travel halfway around the world (whom B has not seen in probably 20 years).
Sibling B lives about a 45 minute drive from the location and has no children, so it will just be sibling B and spouse traveling for the evening.
Sibling A had made a reservation at a restaurant that sibling B had agreed upon. However, upon arriving at location, sibling A learns that the chosen restaurant has really declined in quality and has spotty service to boot. In addition, will be a 30 minute drive from the memorial location on a night when there will be a concert in the town. Sibling A is advised not to move the car or parking will be incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to find after returning from dinner.
After consulting with Sibling A's family, A calls B and asks when B last ate at the restaurant. Learning that it had been at least 3 years, A repeats the rumors about the restaurant and says that A and family no longer want to eat there and they would prefer another place. A tells B about the place and asks if it is okay to make the change. B says it is fine, so A cancels reservation at place 1 and makes reservation at place 2.
FOUR HOURS LATER
A and family are going to dinner when B calls and says there is nothing that B likes on the menu of place 2 and B wants to revert to the original plan. After a lot of back and forth (which I can fill you in on later, but I am trying not to bias this, lol), A says, I do not want to go to place 1 and we will talk about this more tomorrow.
THE NEXT DAY
B calls A and says, We won't be coming to dinner tonight. We will memorialize Mother in our own way. A says, I am sorry you feel that way.
Post by partiallysunny on Aug 13, 2013 9:56:07 GMT -5
If I read the right, B is the asshole.
I'm a really picky eater, but I can always find something to eat. Strange thing to make a big deal about. To not go to the memorial at all just because of a disagreement about dinner makes me think B likes drama.
They now won't go to dinner at all because they don't care for the menu, and couldn't go back to the original plan? That's making things way more complicated than they need to be. Unless, of course, there's another reason.
A was originally told that B needed a place that had fish on the menu and when A pointed out there were several fish options, B told A that B did not like fish. A then pointed out the fliet mignon. I believe it was at this point that B told A that the place A had chosen was Italian Italian and B only likes New Jersey Italian.
Wow. It kind of sounds like there's no pleasing B, and no matter which restaurant was picked, there would have inevitably been a problem with it. I know people like this. They're "fun."
A was originally told that B needed a place that had fish on the menu and when A pointed out there were several fish options, B told A that B did not like fish. A then pointed out the fliet mignon. I believe it was at this point that B told A that the place A had chosen was Italian Italian and B only likes New Jersey Italian.
Sibling A must fly 2 hours, rent a car, and drive 2 more hours to get to the location, as well as rent hotel rooms. Sibling A's children also must travel to get to the location, particularly one who must travel halfway around the world (whom B has not seen in probably 20 years).
Sibling B lives about a 45 minute drive from the location and has no children, so it will just be sibling B and spouse traveling for the evening.
I could tell that Sibling B was going to be the asshole after this.
However, I read everything including the updates and B is most definitely the asshole.
Side note... WTF is New Jersey Italian? Is Snookie the waitress?
B is an asshole to the nth degree. This was just the latest in a lifetime (as least my lifetime) of douchy behavior.
As far as I can read it, this is just the way B is. He is a selfish twat. I doubt he treats my mom differently than anyone else in his life. My dad had commented earlier that he was surprised that B was coming just for dinner/memorial and he didn't want to spend any time with us during the day. My response? *snort* My husband commented that B didn't even want to see his nephew who lives in a far away land. My response? *snort* I mean, what can you expect from someone who never calls his sister (even though his mother is living with her) unless the check is late?
The silver lining to this whole story is that, without B's presence, we had a very lovely evening. Neither he, nor his wife, were missed. AND, there is absolutely positively no reason for A to deal with/talk to B at all anymore. They are the only two left in the family.
The silver lining to this whole story is that, without B's presence, we had a very lovely evening. Neither he, nor his wife, were missed. AND, there is absolutely positively no reason for A to deal with/talk to B at all anymore. They are the only two left in the family.
I think maybe more Americanized dishes in a NJ Italian place? I can't think of anything else. Like, more Italian than Olive Garden but less Italian than Italy?
Also, clearly B was the asshole. I'm glad you still had a good memorial service.
Post by starrieskies on Aug 13, 2013 10:54:44 GMT -5
What the ever loving fuck??? Who does that? I couldn't imagine not going to a memorial for my own mother just because of a disagreement with one of my siblings regardless of what the disagreement was over.
Post by captainmel on Aug 13, 2013 11:06:23 GMT -5
Can't you get fettuccine Alfredo at either Italian place? Garlic bread? Salad? Can't you go and sit with your family and starve because they are more important than New Jersey?!?!
Can't you get fettuccine Alfredo at either Italian place? Garlic bread? Salad? Can't you go and sit with your family and starve because they are more important than New Jersey?!?!
Can't you get fettuccine Alfredo at either Italian place? Garlic bread? Salad? Can't you go and sit with your family and starve because they are more important than New Jersey?!?!
I think maybe more Americanized dishes in a NJ Italian place? I can't think of anything else. Like, more Italian than Olive Garden but less Italian than Italy?
Also, clearly B was the asshole. I'm glad you still had a good memorial service.
I honestly have no idea. The menu didn't seem all that foreign to me, nor did it seem particularly traditional.
Thank you. It was lovely, topped off by an especially glorious sunset.
Mel has a good point. Perhaps B did you all a favor by not attending. You should probably send a thank you card.
Lol. I would if I weren't reveling in the fact that this weekend was the end of all communication with him. I have been looking forward to that for years!