Excuse me? Do you think you are responding to someone else?
My husband often works weekends and evenings. I don't have this plethora of opportunities for time away from my child you seem to imagine for every SAHM. Until she started preschool last week, most months since her birth I got about 10 hours, total/month, when I was not within 20 feet of her. I'm fine with that. It's what I signed up for. However, if I had this vast resource of child care you imagine, she would have spent a hell of a lot less time playing quietly in corners while I cared for dying relatives. Sometimes you just have no choice.
You really should read the rest of the conversation before making assumptions about what I imagine.
No. The point was that snickers said that working moms get vacation and sick time, and SAHMs don't.
That's not only a ridiculous generalization, it's offensive. Also just plain stupid since the working mom's child care responsibilities don't just go away when she takes vacation/sick time (some us us don't have family living locally we can just call up and day care isn't open round the clock)
You just seem so angry.
If you read the whole conversation (you admitted you didn't know who was making what points about what) then you might understand why.
You really should read the rest of the conversation before making assumptions about what I imagine.
Perhaps you should take a moment to read what you have written before railing against anyone who responds to the words you have chosen to use. You disagree with *one* poster. Yet you are lashing out at many - in ways that suggest you aren't really paying attention.
You really should read the rest of the conversation before making assumptions about what I imagine.
Perhaps you should take a moment to read what you have written before railing against anyone who responds to the words you have chosen to use. You disagree with *one* poster. Yet you are lashing out at many - in ways that suggest you aren't really paying attention.
LOL at "lashing out at many". I disagreed with YOU - using all of THREE words - because you disputed something I said to someone else, and you responded with a diatribe about all these assumptions you say I made but never actually did. Nice exaggeration.
So SAHMs - how much help do you get? H pretty much takes over when he gets home.
Do you have a cleaner? Not anymore.
Grandparents/ siblings who take the baby on a regular basis? H's sister would take them if I needed her to, and MIL would come any time unless they're at their winter place.
Nanny? No.
Daycare? If so, how often? No.
Or do you do it all yourself? If you could afford it would you pay for help or no? I do it myself. We could afford it, but I don't see the need. It's my job.
I don't know who is making what points in here but have you considered that maybe it's YOU who are missing it??
No. The point was that snickers said that working moms get vacation and sick time, and SAHMs don't.
That's not only a ridiculous generalization, it's offensive. Also just plain stupid since the working mom's child care responsibilities don't just go away when she takes vacation/sick time (some us us don't have family living locally we can just call up and day care isn't open round the clock)
Can you just drop it? You've made your point again. and again. and again. Snickers has made it clear umpteen times that she thinks ALL Moms deserve a break. I don't know what has triggered you so badly, but it sounds like you could use a hug.
Honestly, every single SAHM should have help. Working moms get vacation time and sick time, they get nothing of the sort. Damn, that must be really freaking hard.
I agree that everyone should have help, not just SAHM/Ds. However, I have never taken a vacation day for myself since having children (I am a working mom). All of my vacation time and sick time goes towards staying home with the kids when school is closed or when they are sick. I was just thinking yesterday how constant my life is and how I just need like two straight days with no kids to regroup and get the house under control.
Okay I feel weird asking this but a lot of the SAHMs keep talking about getting their hair cut (hardly ever being able to). Can't your H watch the kids for 2 hours one Saturday?
our saturdays are usually tied up with one thing or another (going to see my parents, family activites, etc) or my stylist is booked by the time I realize we have a free saturday. thank goodness MIL is happy to babysit and available.
No. The point was that snickers said that working moms get vacation and sick time, and SAHMs don't.
That's not only a ridiculous generalization, it's offensive. Also just plain stupid since the working mom's child care responsibilities don't just go away when she takes vacation/sick time (some us us don't have family living locally we can just call up and day care isn't open round the clock)
Can you just drop it? You've made your point again. and again. and again. Snickers has made it clear umpteen times that she thinks ALL Moms deserve a break. I don't know what has triggered you so badly, but it sounds like you could use a hug.
If you want it dropped, you shouldn't have responded to me. Snickers made a logic-defying, stupid, offensive generalization. All this blah blah blah about all moms needing a break is just backpedaling.
If you want to address what she actually said, then go right ahead and keep replying. But implying that I'm just projecting for some arbitrary reason isn't going to get the result you think it will.
Can you just drop it? You've made your point again. and again. and again. Snickers has made it clear umpteen times that she thinks ALL Moms deserve a break. I don't know what has triggered you so badly, but it sounds like you could use a hug.
If you want it dropped, you shouldn't have responded to me. Snickers made a logic-defying, stupid, offensive generalization. All this blah blah blah about all moms needing a break is just backpedaling.
If you want to address what she actually said, then go right ahead and keep replying. But implying that I'm just projecting for some arbitrary reason isn't going to get the result you think it will.
Lol ok. Maybe it wasn't just a hug you needed!! ; )
I don't know who is making what points in here but have you considered that maybe it's YOU who are missing it??
No. The point was that snickers said that working moms get vacation and sick time, and SAHMs don't.
That's not only a ridiculous generalization, it's offensive. Also just plain stupid since the working mom's child care responsibilities don't just go away when she takes vacation/sick time (some us us don't have family living locally we can just call up and day care isn't open round the clock)
This...doesn't even make sense. It has nothing to do with being offensive or stupid (well...). It's logistical and you seem to be very confused.
Lets assume, for the sake of this particular argument that we're talking about WORKING HOURS, not in the middle of the night or weekends.
If a working mom takes the day off because she's sick/running errands/getting her hair did/at the Dr/etc, her child can still go to daycare, as usual. The mom does not have to find alternative child care when she is not at work during work hours. There is no extra planning needed. If she gets the flu and stays home in bed for 2 days, her child can still go to daycare during the day.
If a SAHM is sick/running errands/getting her hair did/at the Dr/etc, she either has to bring the kid with her, or find someone else to take care of her kid(s). Extra planning is needed. If she gets the flu and stays home in bed for 2 days, either she will still have her child home with her, or dad has to take time off, or she has to arrange for someone else to take her child during the day.
I'm not saying one is better/worse, simply that this is just the logistics of SAH vs Work.
How about everyone just worries about their own lives and stops giving a fuck about what other people do?
I think almost all the people in this thread are fine with what other people do, whether it is the same or different from them. The squeaky wheel is just so loud you can't hear them.
How about everyone just worries about their own lives and stops giving a fuck about what other people do?
Seriously, as long as you're not abusing your kids (and non-organic food is not abuse), who the fuck cares?
Weeeelllll, sometimes it's nice to check in and see what other people are up to. I don't judge either way although I occasionally get a mild case of the green monsters, but it's nice to know what options there are out there. I'm always interested in what other people do. Doesn't mean I'm going to change what we do for our family, but it's interesting to know.
And non organic food isn't abuse? Are you sure about this?! ; )
How about everyone just worries about their own lives and stops giving a fuck about what other people do?
I think almost all the people in this thread are fine with what other people do, whether it is the same or different from them. The squeaky wheel is just so loud you can't hear them.
right? never have i been more happy about nuggetbrain introducing KOKO into my vernacular. i mean, i just want to throw a bunch of koko at everyone. you have family help? koko. you have no help and never get your hair cut? koko, but i hope you get to a salon soon. you work? koko. you use work vacation time to hang out by yourself and send your kid to daycare? koko.
I think almost all the people in this thread are fine with what other people do, whether it is the same or different from them. The squeaky wheel is just so loud you can't hear them.
right? never have i been more happy about nuggetbrain introducing KOKO into my vernacular. i mean, i just want to throw a bunch of koko at everyone. you have family help? koko. you have no help and never get your hair cut? koko, but i hope you get to a salon soon. you work? koko. you use work vacation time to hang out by yourself and send your kid to daycare? koko.
No. The point was that snickers said that working moms get vacation and sick time, and SAHMs don't.
That's not only a ridiculous generalization, it's offensive. Also just plain stupid since the working mom's child care responsibilities don't just go away when she takes vacation/sick time (some us us don't have family living locally we can just call up and day care isn't open round the clock)
This...doesn't even make sense. It has nothing to do with being offensive or stupid (well...). It's logistical and you seem to be very confused.
Lets assume, for the sake of this particular argument that we're talking about WORKING HOURS, not in the middle of the night or weekends.
If a working mom takes the day off because she's sick/running errands/getting her hair did/at the Dr/etc, her child can still go to daycare, as usual. The mom does not have to find alternative child care when she is not at work during work hours. There is no extra planning needed. If she gets the flu and stays home in bed for 2 days, her child can still go to daycare during the day. [OMG, eewwwwwwww]If a SAHM is sick/running errands/getting her hair did/at the Dr/etc, she either has to bring the kid with her, or find someone else to take care of her kid(s). Extra planning is needed. If she gets the flu and stays home in bed for 2 days, either she will still have her child home with her, or dad has to take time off, or she has to arrange for someone else to take her child during the day.
I'm not saying one is better/worse, simply that this is just the logistics of SAH vs Work.
Except nobody is disputing any of that. I'm disputing the idea that working moms get vacation and sick days (they don't always) while SAHMs never do.
This...doesn't even make sense. It has nothing to do with being offensive or stupid (well...). It's logistical and you seem to be very confused.
Lets assume, for the sake of this particular argument that we're talking about WORKING HOURS, not in the middle of the night or weekends.
If a working mom takes the day off because she's sick/running errands/getting her hair did/at the Dr/etc, her child can still go to daycare, as usual. The mom does not have to find alternative child care when she is not at work during work hours. There is no extra planning needed. If she gets the flu and stays home in bed for 2 days, her child can still go to daycare during the day. [OMG, eewwwwwwww]If a SAHM is sick/running errands/getting her hair did/at the Dr/etc, she either has to bring the kid with her, or find someone else to take care of her kid(s). Extra planning is needed. If she gets the flu and stays home in bed for 2 days, either she will still have her child home with her, or dad has to take time off, or she has to arrange for someone else to take her child during the day.
I'm not saying one is better/worse, simply that this is just the logistics of SAH vs Work.
Except nobody is disputing any of that. I'm disputing the idea that working moms get vacation and sick days (they don't always) while SAHMs never do.
This...doesn't even make sense. It has nothing to do with being offensive or stupid (well...). It's logistical and you seem to be very confused.
Lets assume, for the sake of this particular argument that we're talking about WORKING HOURS, not in the middle of the night or weekends.
If a working mom takes the day off because she's sick/running errands/getting her hair did/at the Dr/etc, her child can still go to daycare, as usual. The mom does not have to find alternative child care when she is not at work during work hours. There is no extra planning needed. If she gets the flu and stays home in bed for 2 days, her child can still go to daycare during the day. [OMG, eewwwwwwww]If a SAHM is sick/running errands/getting her hair did/at the Dr/etc, she either has to bring the kid with her, or find someone else to take care of her kid(s). Extra planning is needed. If she gets the flu and stays home in bed for 2 days, either she will still have her child home with her, or dad has to take time off, or she has to arrange for someone else to take her child during the day.
I'm not saying one is better/worse, simply that this is just the logistics of SAH vs Work.
Except nobody is disputing any of that. I'm disputing the idea that working moms get vacation and sick days (they don't always) while SAHMs never do.
OMG thanks for clarifying that. I hadn't got it at all until this post!
right? never have i been more happy about nuggetbrain introducing KOKO into my vernacular. i mean, i just want to throw a bunch of koko at everyone. you have family help? koko. you have no help and never get your hair cut? koko, but i hope you get to a salon soon. you work? koko. you use work vacation time to hang out by yourself and send your kid to daycare? koko.
Koko??
You know. Koko. The 300 pound sign language gorilla. Sitting in this post and harping on the same thing, again and again and again ;-)
my favorite thing about this thread (that i skimmed) is that it's six pages of women who participate regularly in an online community arguing over who has less free time during the day.
:-)
I don't know that lack of distance from the kid is the same as lack of free time. I have plenty of free time these days. It's a luxury I am relishing. It just comes within 20 feet of my little buddy.
There are some things, pleasant and unpleasant, best accomplished without my mini me. (In fact, it is usually the unpleasant things where I could use a babysitter most. She's fine for coffee or museum visits. She's a pain in the neck for cleaning up the bathroom floor when the toilet floods. But daycare doesn't help that anyways.)
Honestly, every single SAHM should have help. Working moms get vacation time and sick time, they get nothing of the sort. Damn, that must be really freaking hard.
I agree that everyone should have help, not just SAHM/Ds. However, I have never taken a vacation day for myself since having children (I am a working mom). All of my vacation time and sick time goes towards staying home with the kids when school is closed or when they are sick. I was just thinking yesterday how constant my life is and how I just need like two straight days with no kids to regroup and get the house under control.
I agree 100% (see other posts below). That also must be really freaking hard, I hope that you are able to find time for yourself in the near future.
*generally speaking* working moms can take vacation time and still send their children to daycare. I realize that this is a generalization and I am not saying anyone should do this/does do this. I will most likely stay at home during the day with my baby, and then work at night, so joke's on me anyways lol
Yeah.. one of the downsides of free childcare is that I'm supposed to take the child if I'm off of work. I did send her to the ILs half of the day last Thursday when I was off, but that was because I had an OBGYN appointment I didn't want anybody to know about and it always takes hours there. But.. free childcare! That kind of makes up for it, I guess. lol.
That is definitely a downside to having free childcare Just tell your mom you are working and go to the spa, lol (I'm joking--kinda)
No. The point was that snickers said that working moms get vacation and sick time, and SAHMs don't.
That's not only a ridiculous generalization, it's offensive. Also just plain stupid since the working mom's child care responsibilities don't just go away when she takes vacation/sick time (some us us don't have family living locally we can just call up and day care isn't open round the clock)
Can you just drop it? You've made your point again. and again. and again. Snickers has made it clear umpteen times that she thinks ALL Moms deserve a break. I don't know what has triggered you so badly, but it sounds like you could use a hug.