Been together almost 9 1/2 years. He works on a land rig so is only home every other week. Sex is typically the night he gets home, one other night thrown in, and the night before he leaves to go back to work.
for me it is also a familiarity thing. i feel uncomfortable being my true bedroom self w/ my husband because i have to look him in the eye the next day. in the beginning it was nbd, i guess because you are still getting to know each other, i don't know. it's like i'm scared that i will be embarrassed, even though logically i know he would never judge me or care. but with a stranger i would never see again i could just do whatever. it's a weird mental block.
Thank you!!!
I said this in a sex thread a couple of years ago and stpete quoted it, started a new thread and asked "is this how you feel, too??" To which everyone said "uhhhh, hell no!" I felt so exposed. Glad I'm not alone.
I'm with you guys. I'm sure my h wonders what happened since our early dating days. Lol.
Almost 14 yrs, married 10. 1-3xs a week with 4 kids, including a baby that sleeps mostly in our bed. H almost always initiates. I like it once we get going but I could go a loooong time without, especially now while I'm BFing.
We've been together for 6-7 years. I'm sad to report we maybe do the deed once a month or ever 2 months. We work opposite shifts, and he usually works on weekends when I'm home, too. Compounding the issue are the painkillers he takes for a chronic back pain related to an injury. Before he got hurt, it was 5 times a week, give or take.
As Murphy's Law would have it, when we're both at home, have time, and not exhausted, I usually have my period. That normally wouldn't stop us, but the last couple of times have been during the heavy time.
Single- haven't had sex since...June? That was a birthday booty thing too.
I've also been sick/in pain and had the chance, just wasn't feeling well at all. In a relationship it's usually 1-2x a week except when I lived with my ex in '10-'11 then it was more often.
15.5 years together. It varies a lot: sometimes 4 times in a week, then nothing for ten days, then 3 times in a weekend, etc. I guess it would average out to 10-12 times a month, mostly at the weekend. He mostly initiates (if it was up to him we'd have sex every day).
Prob not for a few months from now either. Then we have no energy by the time I recover.... I think it was quite some time before we really had sex again post kid 1. I have no idea how to say an average right now except its too damn low.
We've tried recently but get interrupted by something or its just too hard and our lives our too just to take the time needed to find a position that works because I feel enormous. I feel very unattractive at the moment too and we barely see ea other as it is. There is no leisure time lately and sex is like "ok, can we do this in 10 min" which doesn't usually work for me let alone when I'm pg and ungainly/uncomfortable and in pain. whinnnnnnne. Should have tried more a few months ago but had even less time together then.
I really don't know. I only know my own experience and yes, I was more slutty with boyfriends but now that I'm married, I'm worried about what he'll think of me. I know it's not rational, I know he would WANT me to be slutty. This is totally my issue.
Thanks for sharing! I'm not married but I am in a relationship (almost a year) so it's interesting to hear others' experiences. Maybe when I'm married I'll totally 'get it'. lol
FWIW, for me it had more to do with having our kids than with being together for a long time.
We've been together 2 years, and we probably average out to once or twice a week. I think we'd both like more, but we work opposite schedules, so our opportunities are limited.
I'm only on page 4, but I'm shocked that so many of you agreed that you feel weird acting slutty in bed with your husbands. Is that typical?
No it's not typical. There are just a ton of women on this board agreeing with each other.
So.
I get what you were saying Laz although I missed the conversation. It is harder now for me to remove myself from all the other roles I play to be uninhabited sex god. I have to squash the little voice in my head that wants to scream out when he says something really dirty to me "I AM THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN." lol
The longer we have been together the harder it has become. It isn't due to attraction just that we are more complex now than we were when we just fucked all the time lol.
married nine together 14. I have weird periods, had that whole surprise pregnancy thing and since having Leo I have been bleeding for about a month. We had sex about a month ago. But I gave him a BJ last week.
On average when I am not bleeding, I would say 2x a month. Its sad. We both want to have it more but we just can't
Kore, I hate to sound cliche but if he open to therapy?Does he really understand the emotional damage this is causing for you?
Since we're talking hangups I will mention mine. I'm totally cool with giving oral. If he tries to go down on me I am super ticklish. Although it wasn't always this way. So it does bother him. I just prefer regular sex. I did get a couple ideas on MM a couple weeks ago on how to combat this issue but we haven't tried yet. He seemed pretty happy that I was even investigating the issue.
My point is that we all have sexual hangups, even if it is on a smaller scale. I applause the honesty in this thread.
I think he's finally getting it. He's got an appt with a psych in a couple weeks. He's going to talk about it then.
Post by leancuisine on Oct 3, 2013 10:26:21 GMT -5
We've been together for 6 years, married for 2.
We do it anywhere between 1-4 times a week. Usually in the 1-2 range though. We are pretty busy and I am usually exhausted by the end of the night.
H is the one who usually initiates. He always wait until we are headed to bed and by that time I'm tired. I told him he needs to start earlier if he wants to get some action in.
ETA: No kids except for a 12yo SS (who does not need as much attention as a infant/toddler) so my definitely of exhausted is probably nothing compared to some others.
Also, I have a pretty low drive, so sometimes I do it just for H's sake. It isn't always that enjoyable for me.
We've been together 12 years, married for 7 this month (beebee!). I try for twice a week but I have no drive. I'd say it's a mix of who initiates with H slightly ahead.
Together 8 1/2 years, married for a little over a year. We average 1-2X a week. It's been the same so far while pregnant. When we go on vacation, we have sex pretty much every day, which is awesome.
We both initiate, but he initiates more than I do.
Single- haven't had sex since...June? That was a birthday booty thing too.
I've also been sick/in pain and had the chance, just wasn't feeling well at all. In a relationship it's usually 1-2x a week except when I lived with my ex in '10-'11 then it was more often.
Hey, twinsies!
Haha, oh good god if YOU and your gorgeousness haven't gotten laid since June I don't feel so "I'mgonnabe80withacatfactoryanddiealone". Mine was June 13th, the day after my birthday with the guy I'd been seeing for a few months and wasn't happy being with him anymore. I dumped him 2 weeks later. I figure I've been in and out of the hospitals so much over the years that life is too short to waste the last 12 months of my 20's dating someone who stopped being sweet, adventurous and lovey-dovey 5 months into a relationship.
I then proceeded to dance to the Singke Ladies dance and other "Pop Kiss Off" songs on my Songza all night. It was the happiest I had been in 30 days at that point. :-)