That's balls. I hope your principal stood up for you?
He absolutely does, as far as me closing the door at 3pm. But, if the kids have issues (and 2 of the 3 do), I have to meet with the parents. His reasoning is that if it was any other time of the year, we'd agree to a meeting with them. I told them I'd meet with them next week.
Post by EmilieMadison on Oct 28, 2013 13:27:39 GMT -5
Wait, you knew you had a family sitting out there and instead of saying "Hey, I"m so sorry, I'm unable to meet with you at this time, but how about Tuesday at 4:45?" you closed the door and pumped, with no follow up? I get that you had to pump and then be somewhere but that was really shitty if that's how it went down. Why dont you have assigned times? The "show up whenever you want" thing is clearly not working and now parents will be discouraged next time, and probably also think you're insane.
That's balls. I hope your principal stood up for you?
He absolutely does, as far as me closing the door at 3pm. But, if the kids have issues (and 2 of the 3 do), I have to meet with the parents. His reasoning is that if it was any other time of the year, we'd agree to a meeting with them. I told them I'd meet with them next week.
Post by mrsjuleshs on Oct 28, 2013 13:33:48 GMT -5
The schools here assign us times for parent/teacher meetings. If you have a conflict, you send the form in with a few better time suggestions and you work something out. A free for all parent/teacher conference schedule just sounds like a nightmare.
Wait, you knew you had a family sitting out there and instead of saying "Hey, I"m so sorry, I'm unable to meet with you at this time, but how about Tuesday at 4:45?" you closed the door and pumped, with no follow up? I get that you had to pump and then be somewhere but that was really shitty if that's how it went down. Why dont you have assigned times? The "show up whenever you want" thing is clearly not working and now parents will be discouraged next time, and probably also think you're insane.
I'm on this side. While the parents probably should have planned better, it sounds like you just said, "I have to go" and then shut your door, while they knew you didn't actually "go" anywhere. It's certainly your business what you were doing and you didn't need to explain it to them. But if my daughter's teacher had just blown me off like that with no suggestion for a follow-up, I would have probably gone to the principal too.
Not allowing people to schedule a time is ridiculous. Other people consider their time valuable too. I can't get too mad at the parents who were told to 'come whenever and wait around'.
The schools here assign us times for parent/teacher meetings. If you have a conflict, you send the form in with a few better time suggestions and you work something out. A free for all parent/teacher conference schedule just sounds like a nightmare.
For real. It's a parent teacher conference, not an American idol audition.
I'd be pissy if my kid had a teacher that said "come in any time between these hours" and I got there and they just ignored me. Your school didn't bother to send sign up sheets home and those parents showed up within your hours. And then you ignored them. You could have at least personally scheduled a different time with them.
Yeah, I agree they are dipshits for showing up at Friday at 2:50, but as a working parent, I would lose my mind if I was just expected to take time off work and randomly show up and just hope that noone else was waiting too.
Wait, you knew you had a family sitting out there and instead of saying "Hey, I"m so sorry, I'm unable to meet with you at this time, but how about Tuesday at 4:45?" you closed the door and pumped, with no follow up? I get that you had to pump and then be somewhere but that was really shitty if that's how it went down. Why dont you have assigned times? The "show up whenever you want" thing is clearly not working and now parents will be discouraged next time, and probably also think you're insane.
this is where I went to. I mean I get that they shouldn't have waited until the last minute but maybe that is the absolute only time they could come, and maybe their kid never relayed the message.
While yes I can see your annoyance I would be pretty pissed off if DH and I took time out of work to come to a conference and the teacher ignored us until we left.
If you addressed this I apologize, I read your OP and then I was about continue reading but I agreed with EM
Yeah, I agree they are dipshits for showing up at Friday at 2:50, but as a working parent, I would lose my mind if I was just expected to take time off work and randomly show up and just hope that noone else was waiting too.
We were here late on Thursday to accommodate working parents. No one showed after 6pm. ETA: there are parents who contacted me prior to conferences to set up an alternate time. I had no problem with that. The dad in the family I'm bitching about told me they'd arrived at 2:45.
I understand and realize that you had an urgent need to pump. And there was no easy way to communicate that to the families.
But closing the door at 3 pm, on the dot, in the faces of 3 families (2 of which have issues), and sitting alone in your classroom for a half hour just reinforces the very worse parent-teacher interaction stereotype.
And you sound absolutely annoyed that they demanded a conference. Don't you WANT them to meet with you?
Agree that my school's way of doing it is dumb. We debate it every year, and it's never perfect. I vastly prefer sign up times, but that's not my choice (we do get to give feedback, though, and I'm sure many of us will voice this at our next meeting. It seemed worse this year than last).
I wrote in my OP, "I told them I had to scoot." Meaning, I told them I had something to take care of, and conferences ended at 3, so sorry. Did I need to tell them that I had to pump?
To me, "I have to scoot" is just a cute way of saying "I have to go." No, you don't have to give them all the details, but it does seem like you blew them off and then implied you have to leave without actually leaving. Did you offer any possibilities for rescheduling before closing the door or just say, "I'm sorry, conferences are over, bye"? It's not their fault the school has a lousy system for conferences.
I understand and realize that you had an urgent need to pump. And there was no easy way to communicate that to the families.
But closing the door at 3 pm, on the dot, in the faces of 3 families (2 of which have issues), and sitting alone in your classroom for a half hour just reinforces the very worse parent-teacher interaction stereotype.
And you sound absolutely annoyed that they demanded a conference. Don't you WANT them to meet with you?
I also had a doctor appointment at 3:45. I really had no choice. What would you have done?
Noone is saying you weren't in the right to end conferences at 3pm, I think many people are taking exception that you didn't acknowledge the families who were waiting and at least explain that conferences were done. Is that right? Seriously, next year, do a sign up sheet, then you don't have to wait around until 6pm one night with noone showing up and then if they want to have a set time, they can.
ETA: I see you did tell them that you had to scoot.
Wait, you knew you had a family sitting out there and instead of saying "Hey, I"m so sorry, I'm unable to meet with you at this time, but how about Tuesday at 4:45?" you closed the door and pumped, with no follow up? I get that you had to pump and then be somewhere but that was really shitty if that's how it went down. Why dont you have assigned times? The "show up whenever you want" thing is clearly not working and now parents will be discouraged next time, and probably also think you're insane.
i disagree. if it was public knowledge that conferences ended at 3pm, then i think closing the door at 3pm is a-okay with me! she followed-up and absolutely should not have to stay until 4pm because the parents couldn't show up during the time allowed for conferences. if the parents couldn't make it during the conference times, i think it's on them to make other arrangements.
But the parents did make it during the conference time. Yes, it was poor planning to wait until the end, but it's not their fault there was a backlog. It's not like all three families planned to meet there.
Agree that my school's way of doing it is dumb. We debate it every year, and it's never perfect. I vastly prefer sign up times, but that's not my choice (we do get to give feedback, though, and I'm sure many of us will voice this at our next meeting. It seemed worse this year than last).
I wrote in my OP, "I told them I had to scoot." Meaning, I told them I had something to take care of, and conferences ended at 3, so sorry. Did I need to tell them that I had to pump?
To me, "I have to scoot" is just a cute way of saying "I have to go." No, you don't have to give them all the details, but it does seem like you blew them off and then implied you have to leave without actually leaving. Did you offer any possibilities for rescheduling before closing the door or just say, "I'm sorry, conferences are over, bye"? It's not their fault the school has a lousy system for conferences.
My exact wording was something like, "I'm so sorry. Conferences end at 3 and I've got to be somewhere at 3:45. We can reschedule later." Their son gave me a snotty response and so I closed the door.
i disagree. if it was public knowledge that conferences ended at 3pm, then i think closing the door at 3pm is a-okay with me! she followed-up and absolutely should not have to stay until 4pm because the parents couldn't show up during the time allowed for conferences. if the parents couldn't make it during the conference times, i think it's on them to make other arrangements.
But the parents did make it during the conference time. Yes, it was poor planning to wait until the end, but it's not their fault there was a backlog. It's not like all three families planned to meet there.
We warned them all week. Neither parent in this particular family works.
I have a sign up sheet outside my door, but all the slots were filled. So when they showed up at 2:45, it was easy for them to see that I had no available times left.
Post by vanillacourage on Oct 28, 2013 14:09:21 GMT -5
Sorry, I would be so pissed if I were one of those parents. Maybe they had a meeting or whatever on the ONE day you guys offered after-work sessions, and were like, "cool, they said I could go as late as 3pm, that's what I'll do" and then (in their minds) you shut the door in their face? Sorry, I know that you don't set the policy but it's absolutely reflecting on you poorly to those parents.
Agree that my school's way of doing it is dumb. We debate it every year, and it's never perfect. I vastly prefer sign up times, but that's not my choice (we do get to give feedback, though, and I'm sure many of us will voice this at our next meeting. It seemed worse this year than last).
I wrote in my OP, "I told them I had to scoot." Meaning, I told them I had something to take care of, and conferences ended at 3, so sorry. Did I need to tell them that I had to pump?
No but I would have been more specific. "I am sorry, conferences end at 3 and I have some things to finish up and need to leave the school very soon. I apologize I won't be able to meet with you today, but if you would like please email me for a time we can discuss X's progress" something more than "I need to scoot" and then closing yourself in your classroom
EDIT: I see you did give them a better explanation
I'm a social worker so I always leave time before/after anything it planned to meet with clients. It's the nature of my work to meet they client's needs, not the other way around.
Yes, I wish I lived in a world where no one arrived late, or at the same time, or unannounced -but it's so MUCH MORE IMPORTANT to meet with parents who show up AT ALL, than to hold them to some schedule.
You had to pump and you had to go, that's fine. It's perfectly fine to set that boundary. But it just seems so tragic that you missed an opportunity to meet with parents who WANTED to talk with you. And now you seems annoyed that they demanded you time next week!
Teachers are so disrespected, they work so much more than parents even understand and now this teacher has to make special consideration for these 3 families that couldn't even be considerate of this teachers time. Parents.
I'm just curious, were the parents mad because you couldn't meet with them right then or were they mad because you didn't talk to them to reschedule?
I said something to them about scheduling for next week. Son gave me a bitchy response, dad huffed that they'd been waiting since 2:45. I said, "ok, I'll be in touch," and closed the door.
Not that it matters, but I've been hearing about these particular parents for three years. They are super high maintenance.