Post by disappointedkittens on Dec 27, 2013 12:29:05 GMT -5
I'm so sick of getting comments about how things used to be. I always hear snide comments about how women were having babies for 100's of years without hospitals and Doctors and they were all fine. Which makes me mad because: A) No they were not all fine. WTF. B) Why on earth would you refuse basic medical care, pregnant or not? What would that prove? This comment comes from someone who uses medical care for all sorts of necessary things, and C) How's that Ipad working out for you? Indoor plumbing? Fully loaded truck with every imagineable feature? At least be consistent about rejecting modern day conveniences.
Do you get these comments? Add your other stupid and annoying ones here
I have not gotten comments about medical care but here are some doozies from Christmas dinner.
My mom and MIL: "Are you sure it's a girl? Your belly looks like you are having a boy." Yeah because your naked eye and the shape of my belly is more accurate than an ultrasound image.
SIL: "You look huge..as big as my sister when she had a baby." Me: wtfff... "Your sister gained 40-60 lbs. I have gained 22 lbs."
What? People are criticizing you for seeking prenatal care? ^o)
I wasn't feeling well one morning in Vegas, so I asked my mom to bring me a bagel when she went to get herself a cup of coffee. My sister (single, childless, opinionated) was like "why are you eating carbs? Fat is necessary for the baby's brain development!!"
Wow, if anyone criticized me for having prenatal care I think I'd just stare at them and then walk away. That's nuts.
I'm just sick of people suggesting that my high-risk concerns (including concerns shared by my doctors) are not significant issues because doctors are just fear mongers. But I know people mean well to calm my admittedly over active anxiety. I may worry too much but the things I worry about are not stupid!
People do not know how to talk to pregnant women. I've also had the comment that I must be having a boy because of the shape of my belly, even though we know it's a girl.
And I have found that there are certain people who get pretty excited to comment when a thinner girl gets bigger during pregnancy. It's like they are excited to see the body change into a lumpy disaster. Although I don't really care, I'm getting tired of the "Omg, you're huge!" comments.
I guess I'm overall annoyed with all of the comments critiquing the physical appearance of my body/baby belly. Why is that suddenly OK to discuss and analyze when someone's pregnant?
I guess I'm overall annoyed with all of the comments critiquing the physical appearance of my body/baby belly. Why is that suddenly OK to discuss and analyze when someone's pregnant?
I couldn't agree more. The comments about my body or appearance make me uncomfortable, even when people are intending to be nice. It's just being suddenly reminded that you're being scrutinized is startling.
Post by winemaker06 on Dec 27, 2013 14:17:58 GMT -5
A friend got some rude comments about her size and her standard response was, 'You know, pregnant people have feelings too.' I like that one. Unfortunately I completely blanked when my FIL called me 'huge' :-( but I want to use it if it ever happens again!
The latest has been my MIL actually asking me questions. And then while I'm still answering, shaking her head 'no' and then telling me that's not how it was with her kids. Get over it. Times change. Bleh.
My brother's gf helpfully told me (at 21 weeks) that her sister said it looked like I was having twins (at ~21 weeks). Fyi, I'm not. I've gained weight, am definitely showing pg and not just weight gain, but not that much!
Post by disappointedkittens on Dec 27, 2013 14:27:03 GMT -5
I shake my fist at all of them for you! It's amazing how bold people get about things like weight.
bricco that diet coke thing makes me ragey. I can't STAND the snide little comments people make disguised as compliments. If you are going to judge for drinking coke, do it in your mind. kershnic - I also don't understand how people can fault you or be annoying about you dealing appropriately with your risk factors. And I know at least with me telling me that something is not a big deal is NOT helpful. It's up to me to decide what is a big deal and how I will address it.
It seems honestly like there is no way to win while pregnant. You are either being too cautious or not cautious enough, gaining too much or too little weight, not eating the right things or being ridiculous for avoiding them..... blah!
New step-sister (in a faux-jealous, actually-judging tone): "You are SO much more laid back than I was in pregnancy." *eyes diet coke* "I wouldn't have DREAMED of having caffeine and didn't until LO was at least 6 months old."
I mentioned to MIL that I was drinking a whole lot more water now because I wasn't sure that Diet Coke was a good idea because of the... and she "helpfully" chimed in "caffeine!" Um, no. I was going to say "aspartame."
(Bricco, I don't mean this in a judgy way at all--I was previously drinking 2-3 DCs every day at lunch--I just can't control myself haha! I still drink it occasionally, but no more than one at a time. I don't care what anyone else does, but I especially wouldn't bat an eyelash at some soda here and there.)
What is the problem with caffeine, anyway? My doctor told me two cups of coffee a day was fine, and I rarely drank more than that anyway.
A friend got some rude comments about her size and her standard response was, 'You know, pregnant people have feelings too.' I like that one. Unfortunately I completely blanked when my FIL called me 'huge' but I want to use it if it ever happens again!
The latest has been my MIL actually asking me questions. And then while I'm still answering, shaking her head 'no' and then telling me that's not how it was with her kids. Get over it. Times change. Bleh.
God, I am really dreading these comments. Why is it suddenly ok to comment on a woman's weight??
ETA: I can be a pretty awkward person myself, so I stick with things like "you look great!" The word "huge" NEVER crosses my lips.
I mentioned to MIL that I was drinking a whole lot more water now because I wasn't sure that Diet Coke was a good idea because of the... and she "helpfully" chimed in "caffeine!" Um, no. I was going to say "aspartame."
(Bricco, I don't mean this in a judgy way at all--I was previously drinking 2-3 DCs every day at lunch--I just can't control myself haha! I still drink it occasionally, but no more than one at a time. I don't care what anyone else does, but I especially wouldn't bat an eyelash at some soda here and there.)
What is the problem with caffeine, anyway? My doctor told me two cups of coffee a day was fine, and I rarely drank more than that anyway.
The most annoying part of this whole thing is that we were on a Catamaran Cruise in Jamaica at the time. There were 4 options available for drinks:
Coke Diet Coke (well, Coca Cola Light, actually) Rum Punch Red Stripe
...yes, I am being SOOOOOOOOOOO laid back in having soda instead of alcohol on our 3 hour cruise. LOL.
I mean, I DO have the occasional diet soda, but I have actually also been limiting artificial sweeteners (other than stevia). But it was just so weird.. there wasn't any drinking water on the boat, I had already finished my two bottles of water I had brought with me.. so, I had a soda! LOL.
That's what happened to me at my grandma's house in BFE, Alabama. The tap water is terrible (I am not a picky person, but this stuff tastes like you're in a developing country), and the only stuff in the fridge was DC and beer. Oh, well!
I mentioned to MIL that I was drinking a whole lot more water now because I wasn't sure that Diet Coke was a good idea because of the... and she "helpfully" chimed in "caffeine!" Um, no. I was going to say "aspartame."
(Bricco, I don't mean this in a judgy way at all--I was previously drinking 2-3 DCs every day at lunch--I just can't control myself haha! I still drink it occasionally, but no more than one at a time. I don't care what anyone else does, but I especially wouldn't bat an eyelash at some soda here and there.)
What is the problem with caffeine, anyway? My doctor told me two cups of coffee a day was fine, and I rarely drank more than that anyway.
The most annoying part of this whole thing is that we were on a Catamaran Cruise in Jamaica at the time. There were 4 options available for drinks:
Coke Diet Coke (well, Coca Cola Light, actually) Rum Punch Red Stripe
...yes, I am being SOOOOOOOOOOO laid back in having soda instead of alcohol on our 3 hour cruise. LOL.
I mean, I DO have the occasional diet soda, but I have actually also been limiting artificial sweeteners (other than stevia). But it was just so weird.. there wasn't any drinking water on the boat, I had already finished my two bottles of water I had brought with me.. so, I had a soda! LOL.
What's the problem with caffeine? Not much. Just a lot of people hear that it's "bad" and need to comment on pregnant people's choices. A guy at work who told me I'm not a scientist, so how do I know it's okay to eat hot dogs (how does he know it's not?!)
My doctor is also okay with the equivalent of 2 cups of coffee (though I don't drink coffee) and 1-2 diet sodas a day. It's called moderation! Especially while on vacation. Gotta have some fun.
The most annoying part of this whole thing is that we were on a Catamaran Cruise in Jamaica at the time. There were 4 options available for drinks:
Coke Diet Coke (well, Coca Cola Light, actually) Rum Punch Red Stripe
...yes, I am being SOOOOOOOOOOO laid back in having soda instead of alcohol on our 3 hour cruise. LOL.
I mean, I DO have the occasional diet soda, but I have actually also been limiting artificial sweeteners (other than stevia). But it was just so weird.. there wasn't any drinking water on the boat, I had already finished my two bottles of water I had brought with me.. so, I had a soda! LOL.
What's the problem with caffeine? Not much. Just a lot of people hear that it's "bad" and need to comment on pregnant people's choices. A guy at work who told me I'm not a scientist, so how do I know it's okay to eat hot dogs (how does he know it's not?!)
My doctor is also okay with the equivalent of 2 cups of coffee (though I don't drink coffee) and 1-2 diet sodas a day. It's called moderation! Especially while on vacation. Gotta have some fun.
Because your doctor IS a scientist. LOL
I thought only cold hot dogs were bad. Listeria or something? Who wants a cold hot dog anyway? Like I am going to make it through baseball season with no hot dogs.
There is so much fear mongering out there. As if pregnant women need MORE things to be anxious about! Sheesh.
What's the problem with caffeine? Not much. Just a lot of people hear that it's "bad" and need to comment on pregnant people's choices. A guy at work who told me I'm not a scientist, so how do I know it's okay to eat hot dogs (how does he know it's not?!)
My doctor is also okay with the equivalent of 2 cups of coffee (though I don't drink coffee) and 1-2 diet sodas a day. It's called moderation! Especially while on vacation. Gotta have some fun.
Because your doctor IS a scientist. LOL
I thought only cold hot dogs were bad. Listeria or something? Who wants a cold hot dog anyway? Like I am going to make it through baseball season with no hot dogs.Â
That's the guidance I am following - no raw hot dogs (eww). Others are more strict about the nitrates/nitrites in them but these are the same people I know who won't even touch pasteurized soft cheeses. To each his own, if that makes them feel better fine. But I'll do what I want! :-)
I now remember offering decaf coffee to a pregnant woman when I was hosting a baby shower. I was just trying to be nice because I "knew" that pregnant women couldn't have caffeine (haha), but now it seems so judgy. I am ashamed!
People have been pretty good around me for the most part. The ones that bother me the most though:
1. MIL referring to the baby as "our baby". I know it's supposed to be sweet, but I want to say, "Nope, this is H's and my baby, not yours!"
2. People suggesting my ultrasounds were wrong and we are having a boy from the way I'm carrying.
3. Lastly, this one made me roll my eyes the most. H and I aren't religious whatsoever. At Christmas dinner, MIL commented that she can't understand how anyone could hold their new baby in their arms and question the existence of god, that there is just no other explanation. I stared at my belly and held my tongue, I couldn't even look her in the eye. What I really wanted to do was comment that nope, this baby was made by sex and science. I can't wait to see her reaction when we tell her "our baby" isn't being baptized.
People have been pretty good around me for the most part. The ones that bother me the most though:
1. MIL referring to the baby as "our baby". I know it's supposed to be sweet, but I want to say, "Nope, this is H's and my baby, not yours!"
2. People suggesting my ultrasounds were wrong and we are having a boy from the way I'm carrying.
3. Lastly, this one made me roll my eyes the most. H and I aren't religious whatsoever. At Christmas dinner, MIL commented that she can't understand how anyone could hold their new baby in their arms and question the existence of god, that there is just no other explanation. I stared at my belly and held my tongue, I couldn't even look her in the eye. What I really wanted to do was comment that nope, this baby was made by sex and science. I can't wait to see her reaction when we tell her "our baby" isn't being baptized.
Just wait until your baby is out and your MIL calls the baby "my baby". It's awesome.
People have been pretty good around me for the most part. The ones that bother me the most though:
1. MIL referring to the baby as "our baby". I know it's supposed to be sweet, but I want to say, "Nope, this is H's and my baby, not yours!"
2. People suggesting my ultrasounds were wrong and we are having a boy from the way I'm carrying.
3. Lastly, this one made me roll my eyes the most. H and I aren't religious whatsoever. At Christmas dinner, MIL commented that she can't understand how anyone could hold their new baby in their arms and question the existence of god, that there is just no other explanation. I stared at my belly and held my tongue, I couldn't even look her in the eye. What I really wanted to do was comment that nope, this baby was made by sex and science. I can't wait to see her reaction when we tell her "our baby" isn't being baptized.
Just wait until your baby is out and your MIL calls the baby "my baby". It's awesome.
We didn't have a name for a while because we couldn't agree. So my boss started calling her this kinda obnoxious nickname, which whatever at the time. But we have a name now and she keeps referring to my baby as the nickname, and I'm like no, she had a decided name, call her that or call her baby if you want. And she keeps on insisting there's more than one. It's like you're not funny or cute. Just stop.
I'm so sick of getting comments about how things used to be. I always hear snide comments about how women were having babies for 100's of years without hospitals and Doctors and they were all fine. Which makes me mad because: A) No they were not all fine. WTF. B) Why on earth would you refuse basic medical care, pregnant or not? What would that prove? This comment comes from someone who uses medical care for all sorts of necessary things, and C) How's that Ipad working out for you? Indoor plumbing? Fully loaded truck with every imagineable feature? At least be consistent about rejecting modern day conveniences.
Do you get these comments? Add your other stupid and annoying ones here
As a person who wouldn't be here to have another kid without doctors and hospitals, I will second the "No. They were not fine." Bad births run in my family. We have a rocking chair from a great grandmother which is extra precious because it was all her daughter had to know her by.
Post by statlerwaldorf on Dec 28, 2013 0:00:01 GMT -5
My cousin told me that I shouldn't deliver at a certain hospital because they try to get the baby to latch on to the father's nipple. I'm still not sure when or why they allegedly do this.
Also if I have even a tiny sip of alcohol, my H flips out. Honestly, if I have 5 glasses of water at dinner, one tiny half-sip of wine or champagne isn't going to cross the placenta and give our baby brain damage or make her sprout extra appendages.for reals.
Post by changedname on Dec 28, 2013 9:26:14 GMT -5
I have a friend who asks my DH everytime he bumps into her how I am eating and if I am exercising. It makes me so mad. Can you mind your own f'ing business? I don't go inquiring about your habits to your husband. DH thinks she is just concerned and taking an interest but it really annoys me.
After we weren't able to find out the sex at our A/S, we decided to be team green. It is amazing how many people are affronted by that or that don't believe that we don't know. I get asked at least twice a week if I have found out yet or told that " I completely understand if you want to keep it a secret".
We told my ILs about my pregnancy on Christmas Eve. It was earlier than I would have liked (8 weeks), but I had already told my mom and felt like it wouldn't be fair to wait. Then we told BIL and SIL when we celebrated Christmas with them yesterday. As soon as we told them, BIL said "I'm going to text John" (his BFF). And MIL said "I'm going to call Jane!" (her BFF and John's mom). I'm not sure why they were in such a hurry to tell their friends that I am pregnant, but H headed that off by saying "we want to wait a few more weeks before we tell anyone else." BIL said "Oh, I'm sorry, I won't say anything until you're ready." MIL said "I'm going to tell my friends anyway."
Me:
MIL is usually so mild-mannered and sweet! I have no idea why she suddenly insists on going against my wishes. THIS IS NOT YOUR NEWS TO SHARE, MIL.