Serious question--I have a dead baby in my signature. Does it bother anyone?
I also have a fb friend who posts pictures of her baby after he died. It makes me super uncomfortable. She posts them almost weekly.
I love seeing your sig. I hope you keep a pic of Ethan in your sig when the new baby arrives. But aren't those all pictures of him when he was alive? Not taken after he died.
I'm not paying a penny towards my children's college educations. I help out in other ways - minor ways - but I don't help with tuition. Very flame worthy in the MM world.
No flames from me. I'm very "bootstraps" about college tuition. DH and I both paid for our educations by working through high school and college. Although I don't have kids, now, I would think that any future offspring could do the same.
Aren't you in Canada, though? I think it's easier to be all BOOTSTRAPS about college education when it isn't insanely expensive.
I get it ... they're grieving, they want to keep the kid as part of their family and rightfully so, and I'm in no place to say what they should do. I can't imagine how painful that is.
I would never tell or expect them to alter their grieving process to accommodate my feelings. My feelings don't matter here. But, yes, it does makes me feel awkward.
I am trying not to overreact. You are certainly entitled to feel uncomfortable. I might have felt the same prior to my daughter's stillbirth.
I'm very sorry for your loss, and I can't imagine how you must feel
No flames from me. I'm very "bootstraps" about college tuition. DH and I both paid for our educations by working through high school and college. Although I don't have kids, now, I would think that any future offspring could do the same.
Aren't you in Canada, though? I think it's easier to be all BOOTSTRAPS about college education when it isn't insanely expensive.
Absolutely. There's still a fair amount of push, here, for parents to contribute to education savings plans, though.
I wish we never got a second cat. He's a total boob, but it's causing me so much stress that our other cat hasn't left my son's room since August. If someone I trusted offered to take him, I'd give him away.
I think MM has swung from one end of the spectrum to the other in terms of money-related discussions (which are rare anyway). People used to get upset because "big dogs" couldn't post their budget or share their opinion on something because of all of the "must be nice" comments. Now, it seems like there are only big dogs left on the board, at least when it comes to the money questions. The post the other day about how much you save each month? People were coming in, ashamed of their $2,000/month savings (outside of retirement). I just wish there was more of a mix. I'm not pinching pennies anymore, but I also can't save $10,000/month because we don't even bring home that much per month. I wish the poors (lol), regular folks, and the big dogs would all post. The board would be a lot more helpful then, at least to me.
This poor has cable, a smart phone, and I don't contribute to an IRA monthly.
Is it a photo of the baby while (s)he was still alive, or one of those Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep-style photos of the already deceased baby*?
* One of my FB friends posted one of these, and while I am so sorry for her loss I was also really creeped out. Also creeped out when she had other kids after that and they were wearing shirts embroidered with something like, "From Your Angel Brother." We've had other people give us cards that are "signed" from a child they lost several years ago ... again, I can't imagine the overwhelming pain that that involved for them and I'm not suggesting that they should just forget the deceased child, but I really wish they wouldn't do that.
Oh gosh. I feel badly for those people, but how awkward.
In the same vein, I occasionally wonder if I should take down my FB profile picture of Dexter. I've had since I joined FB, and I don't really think about the fact that it's a photo of dog who is a no longer with us. But I will admit that every time I go to change it, I go "nope, can't," and leave it up.
This reminds me of another potential flameworthy - I have refrained countless times to comparing someone's baby or child issue to a dog issue that I've experienced, because I know that's pretty widely hated by parents. But dammit, sometimes it really is appropriate. When you're in the older baby to toddler state, there are commonalities, even if parents don't want to believe it.
I have dogs, I have a kid, this is true. I have a coworker who has a new puppy and we joke that my ds and the dog must be spirit buddies because they seem to hit similar milestones around the same time.
I judge people who have silly personal blogs about going through their divorce, cooking crappy food, trying to run a 5K and such. Get over yourself. No one cares.
Most people I know who have one of these want to write something longer than a Facebook post, and don't want to annoy all their Facebook friends by only talking about whatever their boring modest personal gosh is. I guess they could start a separate FB "page" instead of a blog, but that seems even more lame.
Offleash dogs and unsalted sidewalks are two topics that can set me off for HOURS!
H concluded it's because fundamentally, both are completely selfish actions that disregard the needs of others. I don't always succeed, but I do try to consider the needs and convenience of others in my daily life. Letting your dog run offleash and refusing to shovel or salt your sidewalk (like my neighbors) are giving a giant figurative middle finger to everyone who crosses your path. So I give a giant literal one back.
Aren't you in Canada, though? I think it's easier to be all BOOTSTRAPS about college education when it isn't insanely expensive.
Absolutely. There's still a fair amount of push, here, for parents to contribute to education savings plans, though.
I'm sure there is, but I just don't think it is an apt comparison based on what I understand about tuition at Canadian universities. I agree that most kids there could work and pay for tuition, or at least come very close, so it isn't really super flameful to expect them to do so.
Just understand that if taking your dog off leash means he's more friendly, but that he's going to approach my unfriendly dog uncontrolled, then you've taken your problem and made it my problem.
Ding ding ding. There is no reason that will ever justify off-leash dogs for me, for this reason. A dog is still a dog, and it doesn't exist in a vacuum. You don't actually know if something will set your dog off - it might be something you haven't encountered yet. And you don't know how your dog's unleashed presence affects other dogs and people. Ignoring those two things is selfish and ignorant. And there is no fucking way an untethered dog is safer than a tethered dog - even a leash-aggressive leashed dog is more controllable than a loose dog.
And when someone walks their dog off-leash (or is negligent about its well-being in some other way) and then their dog gets hurt, attacked, hit by a car, whatever, the owner is invariably all "Oh God why did this happen?!? I took the best care of him!" No, you didn't.
I grew up on the beach in the UK. Everybody has their dogs off leash all of the time. As a result my cousins and I are all absolutely petrified of dogs to the point where I will still cross the road to avoid a dog. Too many times a "he won't hurt you, he is just being friendly" turned into a german shephard chasing me or my cousins down the street at age 5. I also cannot go running in my home town because of all the dogs off leash that chase runners and generally make it very scary.
Dogs should not be forced upon other people which I feel that they are when they are off leash.
I am trying not to overreact. You are certainly entitled to feel uncomfortable. I might have felt the same prior to my daughter's stillbirth.
I'm very sorry for your loss, and I can't imagine how you must feel
Thank you. ftr, my DD1's feet are my profile pic on FB but I do not sign her name on cards. However, when we receive cards addressed only to me, DH, and DD2, it hurts. Grief is weird.
Too many times a "he won't hurt you, he is just being friendly" turned into a german shephard chasing me or my cousins down the street at age 5.
Yes! Quincy and Sadie are both affectionate jumpers and barkers. But there is no way in hell I would ever let them run freely up to someone - especially a little kid - because it doesn't look very friendly when a dog is heading toward your face going WOOF WOOF WOOF at the top of its lungs. I don't care what any human says, there is no way to know 100% that their dog won't end up biting or even just nipping in reaction to something someone does.
I do not care if Buzzfeed tells you that you should live in Wisconsin, that your country star alter ego is Carrie Underwood, or that you should have been a doctor. And I side-eye the hell out of you when you are dumb enough to publish the results in your Facebook newsfeed because (1) you are publicly admitting to wasting your time taking a stupid Buzzfeed quiz and (2) you actually think anyone on your FB newsfeed cares.
Absolutely. There's still a fair amount of push, here, for parents to contribute to education savings plans, though.
I'm sure there is, but I just don't think it is an apt comparison based on what I understand about tuition at Canadian universities. I agree that most kids there could work and pay for tuition, or at least come very close, so it isn't really super flameful to expect them to do so.
I think that if a student is not getting a full ride from scholarships, then they should help contribute. Unless the cost of tuition is really a drop in the bucket as far as the parents' wealth is concerned, students should work to reduce the burden to their parents and/or take out loans when available.
I'm tired of one of my friends repeatedly posting pictures of her dead baby on Facebook.
Why? If it bothers you, then just hide her posts.
I don't want to hide her because I enjoy her other stuff.
FTR, it's been twelve years. Not that I'd ever expect her to forget, but it's been a long time. I understand posting it on the day of his birth/death, maybe mother's and father's day, that kind of thing. But she posts it like 3-4 times a month still.
Too many times a "he won't hurt you, he is just being friendly" turned into a german shephard chasing me or my cousins down the street at age 5.
Yes! Quincy and Sadie are both affectionate jumpers and barkers. But there is no way in hell I would ever let them run freely up to someone - especially a little kid - because it doesn't look very friendly when a dog is heading toward your face going WOOF WOOF WOOF at the top of its lungs. I don't care what any human says, there is no way to know 100% that their dog won't end up biting or even just nipping in reaction to something someone does.
Exactly. Especially with kids, who knows what we were doing that would set them off?
Neither do I. Or French bulldogs, or Boston terriers, or pit bulls. The pit bull thing has nothing to do with the now-outdated (I hope) misconceptions about their temperaments. And I'm sure all of these breeds are awesome, affectionate pets. I just don't think any of them are even remotely cute.
I do not care if Buzzfeed tells you that you should live in Wisconsin, that your country star alter ego is Carrie Underwood, or that you should have been a doctor. And I side-eye the hell out of you when you are dumb enough to publish the results in your Facebook newsfeed because (1) you are publicly admitting to wasting your time taking a stupid Buzzfeed quiz and (2) you actually think anyone on your FB newsfeed cares.
Omg YES. FB is awful these days
That's not flameful. My flameful is that I love that these quizzes are back. lolol. It reminds me of the olden "what is your Dutch name" days of FB. But I don't post 90% of my results. The only one I posted was my Sesame Street character (Grover, since I know you're interested).
I'm pretty bootstrappy about college too (obviously, which is why saving for it has taken a backseat to saving for college). I paid for 90% of my college my own damn self. But ... to be fair ... I went to college in the early 1990's, and tuition is not going to be as affordable in 15+ years as it was back then. It's going to be a whole 'nuther ballgame. Hence, my guilty feelings.
Whatever. NO CODDLING ME IN THE FLAMEWORTHIES. (Even when I said I feel like an ass about it. Lol.)
I drink the juice from jars of pickles. I have a large jar of bread and butter juice that the pickles have been gone from for quite some time. I take a big swig at least once a day. I would love to drink more, but it gives me an upset stomach if I have too much.
I do not care if Buzzfeed tells you that you should live in Wisconsin, that your country star alter ego is Carrie Underwood, or that you should have been a doctor. And I side-eye the hell out of you when you are dumb enough to publish the results in your Facebook newsfeed because (1) you are publicly admitting to wasting your time taking a stupid Buzzfeed quiz and (2) you actually think anyone on your FB newsfeed cares.
Omg YES. FB is awful these days
You can hide specific sites now. My feed is free of buzz feed, up worthy, and viral nova.