I now read Mr. Money mustache forums for actual financial advice bc MM sucks at it. Mostly because there isn't any actual financial discussion.
Agree that there is less of it, but disagree that there is none and particularly disagree with the bolded.
Just yesterday, someone posted a budget with questions re: buying a house and got great advice.
A lot of posters are pretty set on a strong financial path and thus don't have much to offer up as a discussion topic. But when actual questions/advice are asked, great answers often abound.
Yah but that one post was the only one I remember this week. And I did comment on it.
Here's my piece about MMM -- great for pregnancy/parenting-related discussion, but it makes me sad that there are also randoms and confessions threads over there, as well as other discussions that really have nothing to do with child-having. I wish those discussions could happen over here instead. I wish MMM was a place where people went to ask a kid-related question when they had one, like I go to Travel when I have a Travel-related question. It isn't, and that makes me sad because I miss people (and I miss this board being really active)
Unrelated, but a confession I thought of while on my way to work: my husband and I share tissues
When I post on MM I get two or three responses I assume because I'm not as well known here. I get more feedback on MMM. You have to give to get. It sounds like you miss specific people, which is totally understandable, but if you (general you) aren't going to take the time to respond and develop relationships with new people, yeah, the board is going to die.
H walks our dog off leash and I'm ok with it. Our dog, and many dogs, are far more aggressive on leash than off leash and this actually prevents him from running up to people. When he's on leash he still struggles, despite 3 years of on-going training, with viewing everything as a potential aggressor. He also responds to commands better when he's off leash.
As long as you can 100% keep your dog away from my leashed dog, I guess that's your risk to take on. It has been my experience that people who walk off leash can rarely guarantee this, and my dog is not friendly.
True. As a owner of a dog with leash aggression, though, I wish people would also realize that a leashed dog is not always a friendly dog. I never walk our dog off leash because he and I aren't at a place where he returns on command well enough. People will not respect our distance, even when move in another direction with my dog and ask that they not approach/follow us because of my dog's leash aggression.
I've posted under 2 different AEs and gotten flamed. I don't regret taking the coward's way out at all. (Spoiler Albert for anyone who decides to go looking--neither was about a marriage issue)
BEERAE???!!!!!!!!!!
Lol I wish.
There is no place close enough to me to walk to get a six pack
FWIW - and I promise this isn't backpedaling, I just like to make it clear when I am and am not judging someone! - I am a new convert to the occasional "sit around and do nothing" vacation. My judgement is reserved for people who travel a bunch and only ever do that style because they just don't care about seeing anything except a beach ever, not people who can only take time off every 5 years and understandably prioritize relaxation over exploration or people who switch it up.
As long as you can 100% keep your dog away from my leashed dog, I guess that's your risk to take on. It has been my experience that people who walk off leash can rarely guarantee this, and my dog is not friendly.
True. As a owner of a dog with leash aggression, though, I wish people would also realize that a leashed dog is not always a friendly dog. I never walk our dog off leash because he and I aren't at a place where he returns on command well enough. People will not respect our distance, even when move in another direction with my dog and ask that they not approach/follow us because of my dog's leash aggression.
I'm of the opinion that all dogs should be treated as unfriendly until proven otherwise--by other owners and especially by children and parents!
Just understand that if taking your dog off leash means he's more friendly, but that he's going to approach my unfriendly dog uncontrolled, then you've taken your problem and made it my problem.
I love traveling and have slept in more shady places around the world than I could ever count. I don't like cruises very much and am normally never drawn to AI's.
BUT I am already planning in my head to leave my baby and go to EPM to drink my brains out with DH for a long weekend for my 30th birthday.
Yes, I'm already excited to leave a baby that is not here yet.
That probably makes me a bad mom, a bad travel snob, a bad MMer, and a million other things. BUT YAY!
I think every time ML starts a "Did you see that thread on MM" thread, with "I could save that but I like to eat and have fun" or "I bet some of them are lying", they just sound bitter. I spend a ton of money on crap every month and still save a lot. HHI FTW!
I love traveling and have slept in more shady places around the world than I could ever count. I don't like cruises very much and am normally never drawn to AI's.
BUT I am already planning in my head to leave my baby and go to EPM to drink my brains out with DH for a long weekend for my 30th birthday.
Yes, I'm already excited to leave a baby that is not here yet.
That probably makes me a bad mom, a bad travel snob, a bad MMer, and a million other things. BUT YAY!
You will not regret it. A long weekend (we went Friday, flew home Tuesday) is perfect.
True. As a owner of a dog with leash aggression, though, I wish people would also realize that a leashed dog is not always a friendly dog. I never walk our dog off leash because he and I aren't at a place where he returns on command well enough. People will not respect our distance, even when move in another direction with my dog and ask that they not approach/follow us because of my dog's leash aggression.Â
I'm of the opinion that all dogs should be treated as unfriendly until proven otherwise--by other owners and especially by children and parents!
Just understand that if taking your dog off leash means he's more friendly, but that he's going to approach my unfriendly dog uncontrolled, then you've taken your problem and made it my problem.
I have come very close to being bitten by at least 4 off leash dogs. Or maybe they just wanted to play. I don't know know what the fuck a dog that was charging at me was going to do.
I have also almost run over one on my bike that darted in front of the bike path.
If I fall off my bike and get hurt because your dog ran in front of me, I will sue your ass faster than you can blink. TRUST.
Your dog is your problem. Do not make it my problem. You are not more important than everybody else.
Off leash dogs are up there with unsalted sidewalks that make me rage out. THERE ARE RULES. THIS ISN'T NAM. And you are not special enough to get to break the rules. NOPE.
I'm tired of one of my friends repeatedly posting pictures of her dead baby on Facebook.
Oh dear
Is it a photo of the baby while (s)he was still alive, or one of those Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep-style photos of the already deceased baby*?
* One of my FB friends posted one of these, and while I am so sorry for her loss I was also really creeped out. Also creeped out when she had other kids after that and they were wearing shirts embroidered with something like, "From Your Angel Brother." We've had other people give us cards that are "signed" from a child they lost several years ago ... again, I can't imagine the overwhelming pain that that involved for them and I'm not suggesting that they should just forget the deceased child, but I really wish they wouldn't do that.
Oh gosh. I feel badly for those people, but how awkward.
In the same vein, I occasionally wonder if I should take down my FB profile picture of Dexter. I've had since I joined FB, and I don't really think about the fact that it's a photo of dog who is a no longer with us. But I will admit that every time I go to change it, I go "nope, can't," and leave it up.
This reminds me of another potential flameworthy - I have refrained countless times to comparing someone's baby or child issue to a dog issue that I've experienced, because I know that's pretty widely hated by parents. But dammit, sometimes it really is appropriate. When you're in the older baby to toddler state, there are commonalities, even if parents don't want to believe it.
I'm tired of one of my friends repeatedly posting pictures of her dead baby on Facebook.
Oh dear
Is it a photo of the baby while (s)he was still alive, or one of those Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep-style photos of the already deceased baby*?
* One of my FB friends posted one of these, and while I am so sorry for her loss I was also really creeped out. Also creeped out when she had other kids after that and they were wearing shirts embroidered with something like, "From Your Angel Brother." We've had other people give us cards that are "signed" from a child they lost several years ago ... again, I can't imagine the overwhelming pain that that involved for them and I'm not suggesting that they should just forget the deceased child, but I really wish they wouldn't do that.
I'm sorry your friend's grief creeped you out. I don't know what else to say to this.
Is it a photo of the baby while (s)he was still alive, or one of those Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep-style photos of the already deceased baby*?
* One of my FB friends posted one of these, and while I am so sorry for her loss I was also really creeped out. Also creeped out when she had other kids after that and they were wearing shirts embroidered with something like, "From Your Angel Brother." We've had other people give us cards that are "signed" from a child they lost several years ago ... again, I can't imagine the overwhelming pain that that involved for them and I'm not suggesting that they should just forget the deceased child, but I really wish they wouldn't do that.
Oh gosh. I feel badly for those people, but how awkward.
In the same vein, I occasionally wonder if I should take down my FB profile picture of Dexter. I've had since I joined FB, and I don't really think about the fact that it's a photo of dog who is a no longer with us. But I will admit that every time I go to change it, I go "nope, can't," and leave it up.
This reminds me of another potential flameworthy - I have refrained countless times to comparing someone's baby or child issue to a dog issue that I've experienced, because I know that's pretty widely hated by parents. But dammit, sometimes it really is appropriate. When you're in the older baby to toddler state, there are commonalities, even if parents don't want to believe it.
My mom's FB photo is of our family dog that died three years ago. The dog is just napping on the couch. I don't see a problem with that ... if it was the dog lying on the vet table immediately before/after being put to sleep, then yeah, that would upset me.
Another friend's pic is of her young kids, one of whom died rather suddenly, just hanging out and playing. Again, doesn't bother me. A pic of the kid in a hospital bed or in the casket would really bother me.
Post by MadamePresident on Feb 20, 2014 11:14:27 GMT -5
I keep doing the survey on my McDonald's receipt for a free McCafe beverage with purchase. I will then go purchase something from the dollar menu and use my coupon, then get a new coupon. I think I'm on my 5th or 6th free drink.
I'm not paying a penny towards my children's college educations. I help out in other ways - minor ways - but I don't help with tuition. Very flame worthy in the MM world.
No flames from me. I'm very "bootstraps" about college tuition. DH and I both paid for our educations by working through high school and college. Although I don't have kids, now, I would think that any future offspring could do the same.
I think MM has swung from one end of the spectrum to the other in terms of money-related discussions (which are rare anyway). People used to get upset because "big dogs" couldn't post their budget or share their opinion on something because of all of the "must be nice" comments. Now, it seems like there are only big dogs left on the board, at least when it comes to the money questions. The post the other day about how much you save each month? People were coming in, ashamed of their $2,000/month savings (outside of retirement). I just wish there was more of a mix. I'm not pinching pennies anymore, but I also can't save $10,000/month because we don't even bring home that much per month. I wish the poors (lol), regular folks, and the big dogs would all post. The board would be a lot more helpful then, at least to me.
Is it a photo of the baby while (s)he was still alive, or one of those Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep-style photos of the already deceased baby*?
* One of my FB friends posted one of these, and while I am so sorry for her loss I was also really creeped out. Also creeped out when she had other kids after that and they were wearing shirts embroidered with something like, "From Your Angel Brother." We've had other people give us cards that are "signed" from a child they lost several years ago ... again, I can't imagine the overwhelming pain that that involved for them and I'm not suggesting that they should just forget the deceased child, but I really wish they wouldn't do that.
I'm sorry your friend's grief creeped you out. I don't know what else to say to this.
I get it ... they're grieving, they want to keep the kid as part of their family and rightfully so, and I'm in no place to say what they should do. I can't imagine how painful that is.
I would never tell or expect them to alter their grieving process to accommodate my feelings. My feelings don't matter here. But, yes, it does makes me feel awkward.
I'm tired of one of my friends repeatedly posting pictures of her dead baby on Facebook.
Oh dear
Is it a photo of the baby while (s)he was still alive, or one of those Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep-style photos of the already deceased baby*?
* One of my FB friends posted one of these, and while I am so sorry for her loss I was also really creeped out. Also creeped out when she had other kids after that and they were wearing shirts embroidered with something like, "From Your Angel Brother." We've had other people give us cards that are "signed" from a child they lost several years ago ... again, I can't imagine the overwhelming pain that that involved for them and I'm not suggesting that they should just forget the deceased child, but I really wish they wouldn't do that.
The baby was already deceased in the picture that she posts.
My husband and I each contribute the max to our retirement accounts. So, something like $1,400 each to our 401k's. However, we only save about $200 a month for BOTH kids college accounts. Yeah, 100 each for them, 1,400 each for us.
As a result, our 401ks are very nice in size, and the 529s suck ass. We do throw small bonuses and birthday presents in there and stuff, but nothing like we should be doing.
We are not contributing anything for my retirement, don't save for DD college (she is 14 months) and only contribute to DH's pension here in Spain because we are legally required to.
We are chalking it up to our living aboard experience, which will end in less than 2 years.
We did have 2 times our salaries at 30 though...so we have something going for us :-)
I don't like reading books. In school (1st-through graduate school) I got through by skimming. I'll read GBCN, magazines and other drivel but I just am not into books. I know everyone thinks that makes me some kind of uneducated moron but it's the truth. I don't know if it's related to my having dyslexia or ADD...but the time, effort is just not worth the return for me.
I'm so tired of all the dogs in my urban neighborhood. I've said it before & I'll say it again-- I'd like to take the kids to school in the morning without seeing half a dozen or more animals mid-crap in a 5 min drive. It's so damn gross...also a-holes leave dog crap in my yard or sometimes I'll find a Baggie of poo on or in my recycling bin. Fucking people can't be bothered to walk 50' further down the alley & stick it in the dumpster. I have a dog, she shits in my backyard & I pick it up. That's all the interaction with dog poo anyone needs.
Serious question--I have a dead baby in my signature. Does it bother anyone?
I also have a fb friend who posts pictures of her baby after he died. It makes me super uncomfortable. She posts them almost weekly.
I'm guessing the difference op was making was photos of a baby that died v a dead baby. Your photos are of your son when he was alive. I can't see how that can bother anyone? I thought the thing that upset people was the "lay me down to sleep" photos and they don't bother me to be honest, they just look like a sleeping baby.
Just understand that if taking your dog off leash means he's more friendly, but that he's going to approach my unfriendly dog uncontrolled, then you've taken your problem and made it my problem.
Ding ding ding. There is no reason that will ever justify off-leash dogs for me, for this reason. A dog is still a dog, and it doesn't exist in a vacuum. You don't actually know if something will set your dog off - it might be something you haven't encountered yet. And you don't know how your dog's unleashed presence affects other dogs and people. Ignoring those two things is selfish and ignorant. And there is no fucking way an untethered dog is safer than a tethered dog - even a leash-aggressive leashed dog is more controllable than a loose dog.
And when someone walks their dog off-leash (or is negligent about its well-being in some other way) and then their dog gets hurt, attacked, hit by a car, whatever, the owner is invariably all "Oh God why did this happen?!? I took the best care of him!" No, you didn't.
I'm sorry your friend's grief creeped you out. I don't know what else to say to this.
I get it ... they're grieving, they want to keep the kid as part of their family and rightfully so, and I'm in no place to say what they should do. I can't imagine how painful that is.
I would never tell or expect them to alter their grieving process to accommodate my feelings. My feelings don't matter here. But, yes, it does makes me feel awkward.
I am trying not to overreact. You are certainly entitled to feel uncomfortable. I might have felt the same prior to my daughter's stillbirth.