Bowies, I didn't call a possible emotional manipulation situation because of his shitfit tonight but moreso for what seems to be his "you never had it so good" attitude towards her unhappiness.
That being said, I'm not sure why the OP continued all this time in a relationship she felt meh over. Of course, I don't get staying with an SO you know isn't sure she wants to be with you, not for this long.
As someone who has pushed and demanded a straight answer despite it not being a good time to talk and then gotten that straight answer, for better or for worse ... if you sense something is up, you're going to have that stomach churning million questions shitty feeling anyway, and sometimes it's better to get a straight answer than to spend how many hours on a plane, isolated and going out of your mind with possibilities.
He's the one that brought up divorce on the phone. He said I have 3 choices- to continue to live in misery, which isn't an option, to try to change things, which we've been doing and it hasn't worked, or to get a divorce. So as he sees it, that's really the only option.
This is about what everyone told you yesterday right? He sees that you're dragging it out and this is unfixable. Good for him for making a decision so everyone can move on with their lives.