Post by melindafelinda on Jul 10, 2012 14:52:44 GMT -5
Yes! It's from Serendipity in NY. It's like blackout double fudge sundae or something. It actually looks better than it tasted. It was pretty average. But the idea of it was awesome!
It's pretty obvious from this post that thin is extremely subjective.
I think that's a pretty common assumption anyway. What in particular makes you say that, though?
OOTD There are so many women on here who look amazing and a perfect weight for their height or body type, if not thin already. But are talking about losing 5 pounds or something.
I'll readily admit I'm sensitive to this kind of thing, though.
Post by wrathofkuus on Jul 10, 2012 15:24:59 GMT -5
I wish it didn't matter to me at all. I know it shouldn't, for various feminist reasons, and I don't act on any urges in that direction, but I can't deny that I'm affected by it. Deep down I only liked-ish my body when I was, realistically, way too thin. And at that point I was upset that my body was eating my boobs. I can't win, emotionally.
I have no idea what my husband has going on deep down, but as far as I know, he doesn't care about my weight one way or another. He met me at my thinnest and married me at my heaviest, all without comment.
Post by mamasaurus on Jul 10, 2012 15:27:53 GMT -5
I thought it didn't matter to him if I was thin, but it mattered to him if he was thin. I was wrong on both counts (although he's still thin, he's just out of shape and getting a little bit of a paunch from eating tons of garbage).
ETA: as far as mattering to me, people give me shit about my weight no matter what. When I was thin, people were dicks about it, and now I'm fat, and people are dicks about it. I am therefore beyond trying to look a certain way for anybody else, because "they" will never be happy, no matter what I weigh. I really just want to get to a point where I don't have a belly so I can buy a shirt that fits me right in most places.
Maggie - thinking your girlfriend could afford to lose 20 pounds, or being concerned that she's been eating nothing but Twinkies for two months or has completely stopped working out when it was important to her before is one thing.
Saying that you would treat her better if she'd just lose her ass because it proves that her body image revolves around your ideals and rightfully so, goddamnit, is a whole 'nother thing. A fucked up thing. A thing that deserves to get punched square in the balls.
OMG, I just read that response. WTF?! That's ANOTHER guy who, deep down, thinks he owns his wife's body. He and Sleepraper should get a beer together.
I'm thin but I'm not toned, which bums me out. I've never been a huge eater though, food aside from basic nutrition doesn't interest me, so I've never packed weight on really.
H doesn't care about skinny though, he'd prefer me to be a little meatier.
I would like to get back to my wedding weight, which is 5-9lbs into overweight territory per BMI. At the time I thought I was HUGE, but looking at photos in hindsight I looked pretty good & had a pretty easy time finding cute clothes. I'm currently 45lbs above that weight, but I'm actively working on it (down 12lbs since end of May).
I've only hit the high end of normal on the BMI chart during the times in my life that I consciously starved myself (under 1000cal/day) and did at least 2 hours of cardio a day. If that's what it takes for me to be thin, then fuck being thin. I like food and spending time with my family/friends too much to try to live like that again.
God bless my husband for never saying a word about my weight. I know that he doesn't like girls that are too thin, and he clearly thought I was attractive even at the low end of overweight, so I think I've set a reasonable goal for myself.
I don't have a need to be rail thin, I do have a need to be thinner than I currently am. My current body size has greatly affected my self confidence and since I'm not comfortable I don't like getting naked. FI likes seeing me naked, so it affects him too
Post by exploding people on Jul 10, 2012 15:39:05 GMT -5
It matters, yeah. I used to be skinny, but then I went to college. Ha. When I was thin, I was pretty shapeless. So I went to school and gained the dreaded Freshman 15, but then I lost most of it except in my hips and boobs. And I looked awesome!
I don't want to be super skinny again. I don't care what size my pants are. I'm actively working on losing weight, but if I could magically just remove the chub around my midsection, I'd be happy.
H still wanted to be on me when I was at my heaviest, and he recently commented about me not getting "too skinny." So I don't think he's super concerned about my fat. He's gained some weight in the last few years and he's sort of working on slimming down.
Thin? Not necessarily. I mainly don't want to be overweight and would like to be a little lower in my BMI than I am now, but I feel like now that I'm getting older, I'm loving my body more and more. I used to be a lot thinner but I wasn't nearly as healthy as I am now. It's so much more about health than being thin to me now.
As for H, I feel we view it the same for each other. We want to see each other healthy. In the past when I was a little overweight he told me to stop stressing, I look great, blah blah blah. I really think he just wants me to be happy and to not have to hear me bitch about my weight. If I started to get into obese territory, I think he'd encourage me to be more healthy and I'd do the same to him. I expect nothing less.
Post by wrathofkuus on Jul 10, 2012 15:47:10 GMT -5
Maggie, that stinks, especially how now he seems like this completely different person you neither know nor like. I hope therapy makes things easier and clearer for you, mostly, but part of me does want you to just get swept away by someone a billion times less crazy and misogynistic and leave your DH in the dust.
Post by Cricket0619 on Jul 10, 2012 15:48:49 GMT -5
There are some days when I dream about being thin thin, but I would rather be fit and healthy. I work out 4 to 5 days a week and eat pretty healthy along with splurging too. I swear H thinks I'm a size 2. He gets really mad at me when I put myself down. He thinks I don't have cellulite! ha
Post by fuckyourcouch on Jul 10, 2012 15:50:17 GMT -5
I'm 5'10". I've been as small as a size 4 and as big as 16 (during an illness/thyroid disorder). I've had an eating disorder. Even when I was a 4, I still I thought I was the biggest lardass ever. I am such a critic for my own size and appearance, but I never see other people and think the same way - I have seen OOTD or size discussion posts and seen women bigger than me and thought they were beautiful and in shape. but for my own appearance, it's never good enough. It sucks. I really wish I didn't care, but I have BDD so when I look in the mirror I never see a difference, I always see fat.
I know my H doesn't care at all, except if I was unhealthy and morbidly obese or something. He's dated people bigger and smaller than me, and has never told me anything other than he loves my figure. He's really awesome like that.
Post by dragonfly08 on Jul 10, 2012 15:52:14 GMT -5
It matters to me, possibly more than it should but I'm working on being more interested in overall health than size/weight.
It does not matter to DH. In fact, he'd be quite happy if I stopped weighing/measuring portions and working out daily. He liked me just as much when I was 30 + lbs. heavier than I am right now. I'd be fine if he had a preference as long as that was aimed at me being healthy and fit; if he simply wanted me to be "model thin" and represent what he considers some twisted ideal, I'd probably sucker punch him on my way out the door.
Post by melodramatic26 on Jul 10, 2012 15:53:39 GMT -5
eta: I've never been thin so that might be part of it too. I WANT to know what it's like.
and no, my husband couldn't care less what I weigh. Engaged at my heaviest (up to that point), married at my smallest and then slowly gained back even more.
Ironically, he's very in shape and healthy. After 15 years together, he's never said a word about my weight.
It does to me. I was a size 10 and weighed about 165 between pregnancies. I only gained 15 pounds with DD and am now down to a size 8 and 155. I would like to get back down to 140-145 which is what I weighed when we got married (I'm 5'7")
Post by wrathofkuus on Jul 10, 2012 16:25:08 GMT -5
I wonder how knowing that his wife dislikes and lacks respect for him affects him. I wonder if it affects him as much as knowing that he's a shallow assbag who thinks you're fat and that he owns your body and should be able to shape it any way he wants affects you. I'll bet it doesn't. I'll bet he cares a lot less about what you think of him than he does about how much you care what he thinks of you. And that's the real crux of it, isn't it? That he wants you to be thin to prove to him that he's camped out in your head, owning your body and self-image?
My H is becoming quite overweight, and I don't really care, other than I'm starting to worry about his health. I think he overeats on the regular, and I think I worry more about his mental health (depression that's being treated, but I think he needs a dosage/medication change) than his physical health at this point.
He doesn't care how thin or not thin I am. In April, I was at my heaviest I've ever been after having a baby (in, ahem, 2010) and kind of letting myself go.
I now spend 6 days a week working my ass off in the gym, watching and tracking every piece of food I eat on MFP, and my weight is almost constantly on my mind (I tend to get a little obsessive when I'm working on a goal). I'm working on becoming thin though for myself, not for anyone else. I hate the reflection in the mirror, and I want to be healthy to play and interact more with my daughter. I don't want to just get skinny, I mostly want to be healthy and toned, and be happy with the person in the mirror and pictures of myself. In fact, it was a picture I saw of me from about Christmas that got me started on this weight loss goal. I hardly recognized myself and was disgusted by what I saw.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Jul 10, 2012 17:57:26 GMT -5
H would love it if I stayed exactly where I am weight-wise. In fact, he'd be happy if I gained a few pounds. He's, of course, supportive of me losing weight since he knows I want to, but he digs curves and keeps telling me I'm beautiful as I am (always good to hear).
I'm really fine with the way I look now. I like my body. I don't think I'm fat and I'll never be super thin and don't want to be. I just more than like, I LOVE my body when I'm about ten - fifteen pounds thinner, so that's what I'm hoping to lose. If I don't lose that much and just get super fit, that's totally awesome too.
I like food a lot, though. And wine. So that makes things a bit more challenging since I'm only 5'0" and don't have a lot of spare calories.
Oh, and I've always been more attracted to men that have a little meat on their bones. H is not thin. He's got a belly. He's losing weight for health reasons, which I fully support, but I think he's sexy as hell where he is and if health didn't play into it at all, I wouldn't give two shits. He'll be hot no matter what, though.
It matters to me, since I feel better about myself when I am thinner. I have been 35 pounds up from where I am now, but my husband has never voiced a preference.
kuus,I get the whole feminist issue. I heard Roseanne Barr say something along the lines of "why is it men are always trying to get women to take up less space?" and it really stuck with me. I've been thin, and I've been really fat, and I'm in between now; but since then I have always felt that I am completely entitled to every cubic inch my body occupies and fuck anyone else.
kuus,I get the whole feminist issue. I heard Roseanne Barr say something along the lines of "why is it men are always trying to get women to take up less space?" and it really stuck with me. I've been thin, and I've been really fat, and I'm in between now; but since then I have always felt that I am completely entitled to every cubic inch my body occupies and fuck anyone else.
YES. Exactly.
i think about this on public transit. dudes are ALWAYS all spread-legged taking up more than their allotted seat's worth of space, and women are always shrinking up to be polite (and avoid contact). and at conference tables when all the men lean forward and all of the women are trying to make sure the people behind them can see.
i mentally slap myself to say "screw them! think big!" and i'll be the only woman in the room leaning on things and draping her arm across the back of the chair. and i've totally subtally knee-nudged an encroaching guy on the subway.
i think about this on public transit. dudes are ALWAYS all spread-legged taking up more than their allotted seat's worth of space, and women are always shrinking up to be polite (and avoid contact). and at conference tables when all the men lean forward and all of the women are trying to make sure the people behind them can see.
i mentally slap myself to say "screw them! think big!" and i'll be the only woman in the room leaning on things and draping her arm across the back of the chair. and i've totally subtally knee-nudged an encroaching guy on the subway.
Ugh, I do this on airplanes all the time. Fucking stay in your own space! I don't care if you have balls and feel the need to spread your legs - not my problem buddy.