Its important to me to be where I am now. Before I got sick I was thinner than I am now but nowhere as healthy as I am now. When I was at my sickest I weighed about 40 lbs more than I do now and it was such a difference in what I was used to Im also curvy and like to eat way too much to do more lol. Im trying though bc clothes do fit better when am where I am now.
i think about this on public transit. dudes are ALWAYS all spread-legged taking up more than their allotted seat's worth of space, and women are always shrinking up to be polite (and avoid contact). and at conference tables when all the men lean forward and all of the women are trying to make sure the people behind them can see.
i mentally slap myself to say "screw them! think big!" and i'll be the only woman in the room leaning on things and draping her arm across the back of the chair. and i've totally subtally knee-nudged an encroaching guy on the subway.
Ugh, I do this on airplanes all the time. Fucking stay in your own space! I don't care if you have balls and feel the need to spread your legs - not my problem buddy.
Ugh, YES! I'm 5'0'' and relatively small and people seem to think this is their cue to take up any space I might not be using. I'm feisty, though, and don't mind grabbing my space BACK!
Post by Mrs.Beagle on Jul 10, 2012 19:42:51 GMT -5
I'm currently less than a pound away from my highest weight ever. I do not like the way I feel. I gain all my weight in my stomach and it effects my back and hip problems. To me, it's partly a health issue, partly a vanity issue.
You are so positive Jennie - I love it! And need it. I've been negative lately
Agreed. Jennie always makes my day!
Jennie- I gained 50 lbs with my ex so I understand your situation. I'm single now and in a much better place to start making changes for my health and vanity.
It matters to me more than I would ever care to admit. I have major self esteem issues too, and often wonder if I will ever be satisfied with my body. I am trying to lose now, but I am so hard on myself. I am very tall, 6'1", and I would just love to be tiny, short, and petite. I associate beauty, and cuteness with a petite package, and that is not me. I am a giant at 6'1". These body issues feed into each other.
I ultimately I say that I just want to be healthy, but really I want to be thin. I hate to say that I would love to hear just once that I looked too thin one day. I know it sounds completely messed up, but I can't help, but think it.
Don't get me wrong, health is very important, and is a driving force for me, but there is a superficial part of me that just wants to be the hot girl. I want to feel attractive, and in my head, the way I can achieve this is to be super thin.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
Oh, and it doesn't matter to my H. He would not want to see me below my healthy weight though. He is a great guy, and would love me regardless, but he doesn't want me to be too thin.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
Apparently for my husband my being thin is a priority. I didn't really know this until a few days ago It is also a priority for him as well as he is very fit.
The timing for this thread is perfect for me. I am a lurker and never had the urge to really post, but I need some outside opinions. This will probably end up being long - sorry in advance. My husband and I have been together for 8 years. During that time, my weight has gone up and down. I gain and lose the same 30 pounds over and over. Our relationship has always been great, but recently it felt like things were getting stagnant, we weren't going out of our way anymore for each other, etc. I brought it up how we should really work on having more fun together, treating each other better - basically let's just get back on top of our relationship and making it a priority. He brings up during this talk that he is "obsessed" with my weight and that he thinks that he might treat me better when I am thin because it shows I am putting forth effort in taking care of myself for him. He told me that he knows that his thoughts are warped, but didn't deny when I said that it is really hard to know that my husband is thinking negative thoughts about me. My issue is that I don't want to live my whole life worried that my partner is thinking bad things or is constantly thinking of my weight. I cried, got angry, and then calmly (although tearfully) explained how I felt. He says he understands, but I also know this is the way that he is. Not sure where to go from here. I do get that he might prefer me thinner, but I don't get the connection between me being thin and him thinking that is effort for him so then he can put forth more effort for me. Is he in the right for being honest with me about something bothering him or is he an insensitive ass for this? I do want to lose the weight for me though because I know I will be happier and healthier. I can lose the weight, but can I deal with his shallowness and superficiality? This was long! Congrats on getting through it.
and what's the old joke? You can lose 200 pounds of ugly fat instantly! Throw the fucker out!
:drink: Maggie, I am sorry. I don't know you, but i know you don't deserve that shit.
I think about being thin a lot. I've found myself avoiding the mall because I don't like how the majority of clothes make me feel. But, I'm not overly committed to changing the status quo, so I guess I don't really care about being thin.
I try to eat healthy to maintain my weight, and I go through phases with exercise. I lost about 30 pounds a few years ago and have maintained it. I still have about 30 more to go, and I'm not anxious to start the process again. It was the suck. Honestly, I'd be happy as-is if I could lose the cellulite and gain a longer torso.
BF likes me as I am. He's never said anything negative. Quite the opposite actually. I'd like him to be healthier (he's skinny fat). He's been making an effort to support me though...he's cooking healthier meals and will exercise with me if I ask.
I will never be thin by normal standards, and that's cool with me. I'm happy being where I am, shrinking slowly and being healthy. I wish I wouldn't have had to have surgery to get here, but I have an unhealthy relationship with food and I'm relatively certain I would never have made it here without the surgery.
And not too long ago, my mother said to H "Isn't it nice to finally have such a beautiful wife?" And he replied "What do you mean? She's always been beautiful!"
And not too long ago, my mother said to H "Isn't it nice to finally have such a beautiful wife?" And he replied "What do you mean? She's always been beautiful!"
Post by statlerwaldorf on Jul 11, 2012 0:20:44 GMT -5
I've given up on my dreams of being thin a long time ago. I spend a lot of time trying to lose weight, but my goal is to not be obese and to not die. Plus we both want more children and being overweight can add to my infertility.
DH prefers heavier women. He always has. He supports me in my weight loss because he would rather have a thinner alive wife than a dead one. When it comes strictly to looks, he prefers heavy.
The best part was, he wasn't even blowing smoke. He actually thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. I don't know how I got so lucky. I must have done something good to deserve this life
Post by BunnyMacDougal on Jul 11, 2012 7:20:43 GMT -5
I don't care about the overall shape or clothes size - so I would say I don't care about being thin....
but
Feeling jiggly and untoned ruins my day. I work pretty hard to keep toned. Avoid wheaty carbs, do my cardio/weights, check out my butt in the mirror probably too much.
No. I am recovering from anorexia and bulimia and it has taken me a long time to realize that the smallest number on the scale is not the best.
I'm at a healthy weight now, I run 6 days a week and pay attention to what I eat, but I do not diet. I'm happy with my body now (a size 4/6) and do not want to change.
To me being healthy and not overweight or obese is more important than being skinny. H did not like my body when I was at my lowest weight (around 100lbs) and tells me every day how much healthier and sexier I look now.
The best part was, he wasn't even blowing smoke. He actually thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. I don't know how I got so lucky. I must have done something good to deserve this life
Bonquiqui, if it helps, my BFF is 5'11", and I've always associated beauty with being tall. I always wish I was at least three inches taller.
How funny. I'm 5'7 and I've always wished I could be a couple inches shorter. And a lot thinner. So I guess in my mind I have associated beauty with being petite too.
Yes, it does to me. I don't like myself very much in general, but I feel a little better when I am at my bottom weight. So I watch closely what I eat.
DH would not like it if "I let myself go". His mother did this as well as his sister and it scares him. But then, except in sickness, I do not think I would let myself go and overeat and not dress well or stop washing my hair.
DH is overweight, but I only care about the health part of it, not the weight itself.
Being thin doesn't matter to me, but being healthy and in-shape enough to do whatever I want with the girls does, as does being a healthy role model to them. I am nowhere nearly healthy or in-shape now, but I'm working on it. It doesn't matter to H, which is shocking to me since his family puts such an emphasis on weight (and made many comments to me about mine in the beginning, which he shut down quickly). It honestly shocks me that he's still so into sex since I feel so crappy about my body. He always tells me I'm beautiful, though, even when I was minutes away from having the babies. I wish I could feel about my body the way that he does.
Bonquiqui, if it helps, my BFF is 5'11", and I've always associated beauty with being tall. I always wish I was at least three inches taller.
It is so interesting, and i am sure it is just a "grass is greener" issue. I need to get over it, because it's not something that can change, but i can't. Lol
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
I think it comes as no surprise that being thin (and fit) matters a lot to me, and a good deal to H too, though he actually prefers me with a few more pounds than I like for myself. (To clarify: my being thin matters a good deal to him, but his being thin and fit matters a huge deal to him, much more so than it matters to me.)
Our lives revolve around being active, and if either of us were to give that up, well, I don't doubt that it would cause a major shift in our relationship.
Bonquiqui, if it helps, my BFF is 5'11", and I've always associated beauty with being tall. I always wish I was at least three inches taller.
Interesting, I'm 5'9" and have always associated beauty with being small, shorter, fine boned. Pretty much the opposite of me. Perception is a bitch huh?
I'm 5'8 and feel the same way. My bff in high school was 5'3 and tiny, and I always felt like a whale next to her.
The best part was, he wasn't even blowing smoke. He actually thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. I don't know how I got so lucky. I must have done something good to deserve this life
does he have a single brother??
Actually, he does, but they're not a whole lot alike. BIL is a great guy, but nowhere as awesome as H.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"