I can't quite put my finger on it. Basically I just can't shake the feeling that people don't really like me, that they only tolerate me because they have to, and that is because I never manage to say the right thing to anyone. The rational part of my brain knows this isn't true. But I still feel like hiding in a hole sometimes. I'll get over it, it's just annoying.
my sister describes her anxiety problem as feeling like people are ALWAYS mad at her. i hope it doesn't hang on long because you are, in fact, da bomb.
You are too kind :-). I never thought about anxiety until recently. But I do feel similar to what your sister is describing. Not that people are always mad at me, but more like people really do think I am every bad thing that's been said to me. Like, every flame I've ever gotten is a spot on character description, you know? It comes and goes. It will go soon, I presume (hope).
I can't quite put my finger on it. Basically I just can't shake the feeling that people don't really like me, that they only tolerate me because they have to, and that is because I never manage to say the right thing to anyone. The rational part of my brain knows this isn't true. But I still feel like hiding in a hole sometimes. I'll get over it, it's just annoying.
I hate this feeling. I hate to say it's 'normal', but it happens to people, and to me, more often than I care to think about . a good cure is to do something really nice for someone. Pay for a stranger's dinner at a restaurant (without them knowing it was you), buy an old lady a bouquet of flowers at the grocery store, something that requires little interpersonal contact but that leaves you with the feeling of having done some good, for which people are thinking kindly of you.
This is a good idea! And something I can do easily enough :-).
I also tend to dress up when I'm feeling down, which is cheezy but helps. So I think I will try to do that tomorrow :-)
I don't ask questions - I learned a long time not to ask a question you don't want the answer to. I gave consequences (and stuck to them) but now the little jerk has figured out he can get away with I don't see. It's stupid stuff, stuff he wouldn't even get in trouble for, like spilling a drink. Then he blames it on DD or says the dog jumped on him and honestly that could have been what happened, but I know damn well it doesn't happen 100% of the time. Do I send him to time out when i have no idea what happened besides there's juice on my tablecloth?
Oh, and his other line is that he forgets. He "didn't remember" he had to flush the toilet (this one is his obvious lie by the way he mumbles through it) WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT THAT KID? I'm not even mad at you, I'm trying to save you years of your future spouse yelling you for being gross!
I took a bite of what I THOUGHT was a fried string bean today. It was actually a jalapeño. I made a little scene bc I was shocked. Lol (in the kitchen at work, not a restaurant)
I had a patient that was vicky 's doppelgänger. Love you Vicky.
I had a ginormous bowl of golden Grahams for dinner. It was amazing.
Post by AHappierHour on Apr 21, 2014 19:21:48 GMT -5
I really hate it when I'm trying to take pics of my kids and my MIL trys to help. She distracts them from my camera or tells them to look at her not me. I after awhile of this I said something and she stopped. My SIL. overheard and I'm sure she thinks I'm bitchy but I don't care.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Apr 21, 2014 19:25:26 GMT -5
I'm a little down this evening.
H had the day off today, and he and I were going to go out to lunch and watch a movie and have afternoon sex. But K has had a fever of 102 since yesterday morning and couldn't go to daycare. We wound up taking him to urgent care. He has no other symptoms, but is really clingy, uninterested in table food (just wants to nurse allllll day), and generally fussy.
They checked his ears (which he haaaates all the time, but this time he sobbed / howled and we had to hold him down) and they told us to keep an eye on him over the next two days and if he still has a fever on Wednesday to bring him back and they'll run a blood panel and cath him to see if it's a UTI. (Right now the theory is that this is a reaction to the chicken pox vaccine, which he had 3 weeks ago. It's a little too far out for a reaction to the MMR, which he also had.)
I just want a month where he's not sick and there are no visits to the doctor or hospital stays. I know we're really lucky and his illnesses have been scary and / or frustrating, but by and large nothing really terrible.
It's just a bummer that he's been sick so damn much. I feel so bad for him, but I'm having a rare night where I feel sorry for us too.
I am going insane with DS (5) and his constant lying. I need to search amazon for some books because this is what I've turned into
it's pretty common at this age and they do grow out of it, I swear. There are a few ways to help, till he gets over it:
Don't ask questions of him that you know he'll lie about. For example, if you see him with oreo crumbs around the edges of his mouth, and the cookie jar is tipped over, don't ask him "Oh, Jonah, did you eat the cookies??" He'll lie. He'll say no, then you'll be mad that he lied and mad that he ate the cookies. He only lies at this age because he wants it to be true so that you won't be mad at him; he tells the lie so you'll approve of him, and so he won't be in trouble. This is not helpful. I cut down on 70 percent of the lies when I quit asking them to fess up to my angry face and started just telling them what I knew to be so.
When you are in this situation, make the announcement of truth, which,given his young age and the transparency of children, you already know anyway: "Jonah, I see that you ate the oreos, you have chocolate on your lips. You disobeyed me and ate cookies when I said not to. That's very wrong and Mommy is not happy with you". He'll hang his head in shame, and you can deal with the aftermath. "Jonah, your teacher reported you hit someone. This is not good behavior." NOT "did you hit that little boy, Jonah?" "Jonah, I saw you get out of bed. Don't get up again". If you ask him to tell you he's been bad/naughty, he'll lie. if you tell him what you know about him, he won't.
When he just randomly says harmless but clearly made up stuff, like, "I went to Hawaii yesterday and saw dinosaurs" say "Wouldn't that be neat/weird/funny/odd if that were really true?" laugh laugh. They know you know the truth, they know you know they were making it up, they know you aren't mad, and that it was all harmless fantasizing. Or, say "That would be nice if that were true, but regrettably, it's not". Funniest thing I ever heard was ds1 saying this when he was about 8, to a friend of his who'd said some bullshit story like this to him.
If he's telling mean,ugly lies about others, which seems unlikely at this age but entirely possible, tell the lie right back to his face about him. "Sally stole money from Grandma", let's say he lies about. "Well I heard it was YOU who stole Grandmas money". He'll be shocked, and he'll know it's not true, and he'll object. Pounce right away with "See how it feels to be lied about? You don't like it when people make up mean things about you, so don't you do that any more either. It's mean, and you're better than that."
And, use lightning bolt punishment. He lies, a big whopper? Well, there are a lot of nice places in town that little boys like to go but where liars are not allowed, sad to say, and when he can figure out how to be truthful we can see about going there again but not now, can't risk it. throw that out there on Friday when he asks to go somewhere fun, after he lied to your face on Monday.
Post by mividaloca on Apr 21, 2014 19:42:10 GMT -5
So this is weird. I woke up at 330 am and MH was no where to be found. My cell was dead and I couldn't find a charger any where. finally at 9 this morning my friend stopped by and I was flustered. I called H. And he said "sorry, I woke up because I couldn't sleep and went for a drive. " I flipped out. He snuck out like a teenager. I don't know what I should do. Like I'm thinking the worst. I'm calm now. But I don't know how I should handle all of this.
All bets are off with eating healthy tonight. Fuck it.
Same. I haven't had any Easter candy. None! I've been waiting for it to be on sale (not only to save but also to limit my consumption) but I really hope the store isn't out when I go later. I'm in need of some Cadbury eggs and jelly beans.
I totally pilfered some of Will's Kit Kats and Reese's PB eggs...
So this is weird. I woke up at 330 am and MH was no where to be found. My cell was dead and I couldn't find a charger any where. finally at 9 this morning my friend stopped by and I was flustered. I called H. And he said "sorry, I woke up because I couldn't sleep and went for a drive. " I flipped out. He snuck out like a teenager. I don't know what I should do. Like I'm thinking the worst. I'm calm now. But I don't know how I should handle all of this.
What time did he come home? I'll be honest, that seems...odd.
A friend of mine finally broke up with her emotionally abusive wife. Said wife has been dx bipolar but refuses therapy or medication and can be so incredibly mean and nasty. Wife also threatened to beat friend up when she brought up breaking up.
I have spent the last 2 weeks supporting friend and trying to help her through the break up. Middle of the night stuff, you know. Offered to let her crash on my couch if needed, etc. I was so relieved they finally broke up and so proud of her for going through with it. I was starting to worry for her (and their DD's) safety.
Today she tells me that over the weekend they got back together, wife moved back in, and that she might not be able to talk to me as much anymore. And her wife unfriended me on FB.
So this is weird. I woke up at 330 am and MH was no where to be found. My cell was dead and I couldn't find a charger any where. finally at 9 this morning my friend stopped by and I was flustered. I called H. And he said "sorry, I woke up because I couldn't sleep and went for a drive. " I flipped out. He snuck out like a teenager. I don't know what I should do. Like I'm thinking the worst. I'm calm now. But I don't know how I should handle all of this.
What time did he come home? I'll be honest, that seems...odd.