I'm so glad you guys are here to set me straight and let me know that he just wasn't that into me. I mean, I was about ready to propose to him. But I've seen the light now.
I guess just admitting that off the bat and moving on is where the sticking point is/was. Rather you tossed this guy under the bus, because he was honest; he was doing what the gender that is the opposite of male has asked us to do, tell the truth. Or at least say something to indicate that we're not interested, rather than lead you on.
MP: at least he was honest, chalk it up as a loss and move on. As a male, I've heard/had the following rejections, and yet I still live:
I'm a lesbian You have not travelled outside the US I'm to young for you I'm to old for you You do not make enough $$ I don't date anyone from your part of town I only date white men You're not black enough for me You haven't asked me to go steady with you (only took her out on ONE date)
All of those (well, with one exception maybe) are legitimate, honest reasons for an individual to not date someone.
But most of them are best left unsaid, in my opinion.
Honesty isn't always particularly bold or brave. Sometimes it's nothing more than the easy, uncreative, graceless way out.
That's called being Socially tone deaf. Someone needs to make a van genns diagram of honesty and Asperger's.
He wasn't into you, and you said you weren't into him. That's cool, no shame in that.
Don't be butthurt. You were being a bit of a bitch by honing in on the name as a lame reason to not being into you, and that wasn't it, just one of a few connections he made that had him uncomfortable. You should have been more concerned about the personality comment.
Butthurt? Uh, ok.
He made the name the bigger issue.
I don't give a shit that we didn't have a connection. It legitimately made me laugh that he said this. I replied "Hey there! Seems the lack of chemistry was a mutual thing, but nonetheless I genuinely enjoyed meeting you and getting to know you a bit!" Then I shared it here. End of story.
You seem to be more annoyed by this interaction than I did.
Logic 101. It's you, not me </mp>
If you've been following along, it's not the interaction, it's your take away from it that I find exceedingly lame and cuntish. Instead of seeing the guy didn't want you wasting time, and his excuse doesn't come off as such. If I met someone that reminded me of an ex, and I didn't want to go on a second date, would that be an ok excuse instead of the date reminding me of my sister?
I'm so glad you guys are here to set me straight and let me know that he just wasn't that into me. I mean, I was about ready to propose to him. But I've seen the light now.
I guess just admitting that off the bat and moving on is where the sticking point is/was. Rather you tossed this guy under the bus, because he was honest; he was doing what the gender that is the opposite of male has asked us to do, tell the truth. Or at least say something to indicate that we're not interested, rather than lead you on.
since it seems a bunch of guys are giving perspective today let me add some more from the Starting Over Newbie FAQ
"Starting Over, however, is not an echo chamber. Feedback is heartfelt and it is honest. ...takes a LOT of maturity and patience, which, let’s be frank, can be in short supply when emotions run high. We’ve all been assclowns at one time or another and been taken to task for it. Take the message to heart and learn from it. You’re here for perspective, right? RIGHT?!?!"
it seems that you've taken something innocuous and trivial and made a mountain of it then you get a couple guy's opinions and get bristley about it and defensive
I tell you it just makes me feel that since I'm in a period where my marriage is under a lot of stress and I think about having to start dating all over again?
that even if I'm nice to someone she's bitching to all her friends about nothing bad on my part because she's either denfensive or has a chip on her shoulder?
I don't want to go back to highschool again, which is what some of this thread reminds me of
I think the FAQ should be a refresher course on everyone's attitude towards starting over and specifically not an echo chamber, because what good does that do anyone?
that even if I'm nice to someone she's bitching to all her friends about nothing bad on my part because she's either denfensive or has a chip on her shoulder?
That happens on both sides, right? Totally normal, and nothing to take personally.
The thing is, knowing in the back of your mind that it happens, and pressing your ear to the door to hear the girl talk on the other side are two different things. You're pressing your ear to our door. Go for it, but don't expect us to feel bad for or apologize for it.
it's the double standard, not the fact that you guys do the same shit we do.
You guys should be sensitive to the frustration of double standards. No one likes a moving goalpost. "We want guys to be honest with us" Wait, maybe not.
Huh, what...i'm just repeating what I was told/happened to me. I shrugged those rejections off and moved on.
HOWEVER, it was sweet revenge when a woman said "i was to old for her" to spot her out on a lunch date with her new BF while I was having lunch with a female friend who worked nearby. Her BF could not stop looking at my friend and almost gave me a "hi five" as they were walking out.
Yup. Women with their histrionics and emotions and men with their simple Neanderthal minds, amiright?
I can tell by the very witty "cray cray" comment that you were integral to the honest and insightful discourse here. Glad we could arrive at such a clichéd conclusion. Good talk.
I thought it was a reference to the entire thread and participants, not the women.
I thought it was a reference to the entire thread and participants, not the women.
In that case, a non-snarky "agreed". Lol!
I mean, it is pretty funny, if you take the entire spectrum of conversation with a grain of salt. But come on, you got to admit, just having girls incestuously talk about guy isn't as much fun as getting a guy to chime in, at least one or a few that can take it on the chin and be lighthearted about it too.
Personally I'd have tried for something wittier as a let down for mp, but that's just me. If I were to call the interaction funny and lame it would be because both parties missed out on some good one liner opportunities.
Wow, you're really standing up tall for this guy. There's probably some reason for that, but I'm not in a dig deeper kind of mood. It's 6pm, I'm loaded up on cold medicine and about to make a cocktail. Plus, I'm really only good for gifs and dick jokes.
I think you're overthinking it a bit. But that's cool. That happens a lot around here so you'll find yourself in good company.
I'm standing up for reason. I'm all for calling the guy a douche if he was, but it certainly didn't sound like it. What's good for the goose is good for the gander! Girls can be as trite as guys can, so why can't they be called out for it? Right? I'm hoping that the keen light of objectivity works around here.
So why don't you point this out to all the other "ladies" who are complaining about their dates that have no spark or didn't go as well as they planned, etc. It seems to me you're singling out mp. Shamers!
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I'm so glad you guys are here to set me straight and let me know that he just wasn't that into me. I mean, I was about ready to propose to him. But I've seen the light now.
I guess just admitting that off the bat and moving on is where the sticking point is/was. Rather you tossed this guy under the bus, because he was honest; he was doing what the gender that is the opposite of male has asked us to do, tell the truth. Or at least say something to indicate that we're not interested, rather than lead you on.
I mean, it is pretty funny, if you take the entire spectrum of conversation with a grain of salt. But come on, you got to admit, just having girls incestuously talk about guy isn't as much fun as getting a guy to chime in, at least one or a few that can take it on the chin and be lighthearted about it too.
Personally I'd have tried for something wittier as a let down for mp, but that's just me. If I were to call the interaction funny and lame it would be because both parties missed out on some good one liner opportunities.
We have very different definitions of fun and lighthearted.
maybe you're a little too self absorbed to be lighthearted? Maybe that's why you have a hard time finding guys to date (per another thread)?
I'm standing up for reason. I'm all for calling the guy a douche if he was, but it certainly didn't sound like it. What's good for the goose is good for the gander! Girls can be as trite as guys can, so why can't they be called out for it? Right? I'm hoping that the keen light of objectivity works around here.
So why don't you point this out to all the other "ladies" who are complaining about their dates that have no spark or didn't go as well as they planned, etc. It seems to me you're singling out mp. Shamers!
I just found this place, point them out to me!
I was staying in context to this thread. I won't defend jerks of my gender, or any other.
So why don't you point this out to all the other "ladies" who are complaining about their dates that have no spark or didn't go as well as they planned, etc. It seems to me you're singling out mp. Shamers!
I just found this place, point them out to me!
I was staying in context to this thread. I won't defend jerks of my gender, or any other.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I don't give a shit that we didn't have a connection. It legitimately made me laugh that he said this. I replied "Hey there! Seems the lack of chemistry was a mutual thing, but nonetheless I genuinely enjoyed meeting you and getting to know you a bit!" Then I shared it here. End of story.
You seem to be more annoyed by this interaction than I did.
Logic 101. It's you, not me </mp>
If you've been following along, it's not the interaction, it's your take away from it that I find exceedingly lame and cuntish. Instead of seeing the guy didn't want you wasting time, and his excuse doesn't come off as such. If I met someone that reminded me of an ex, and I didn't want to go on a second date, would that be an ok excuse instead of the date reminding me of my sister?
HEY NOW! Enough of this language. Please stop. This is your first warning, masterpens.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I guess just admitting that off the bat and moving on is where the sticking point is/was. Rather you tossed this guy under the bus, because he was honest; he was doing what the gender that is the opposite of male has asked us to do, tell the truth. Or at least say something to indicate that we're not interested, rather than lead you on.
flex, don't ban him! How else will us ladies learn about logic, and critical thinking, and how to not be bitches to the helpful ganders who spend some of their precious time with us?
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
If you've been following along, it's not the interaction, it's your take away from it that I find exceedingly lame and cuntish. Instead of seeing the guy didn't want you wasting time, and his excuse doesn't come off as such. If I met someone that reminded me of an ex, and I didn't want to go on a second date, would that be an ok excuse instead of the date reminding me of my sister?
HEY NOW! Enough of this language. Please stop. This is your first warning, masterpens.