LOL. My most recent ex has the same first name as one of my brothers. My brother thought it was weird, but I wouldn't base my decision to date someone on a name. That's just silly.
The guy I'm seeing has the same name as my ex husband. It's thrown a lot of people off, but it is a common name. I didn't think it would be possible for me to date someone with the same name and yet it happened.
Post by masterpens on Apr 26, 2014 16:04:23 GMT -5
While you fixate on the issue of names being the same as a reason to make fun of the guys epiphany, did you ignore the second point, that additionally he reminded you of his sister because your personalities were similar too? As you noted, there was no spark in the date, now you probably know why. At least he was honest instead of hanging around for a quick lay, and maybe a bit creepier, vicariously screwing his sister by getting in the sack with you.
Hmmm? Let's look a little deeper, instead of making his honesty a punch line. The name similarity wasn't really the main excuse, just the icing.
Hmmm? Let's look a little deeper, instead of making his honesty a punch line.
Hmmm. Lets not.
Sure. Of course, because it's a guy, the reason for him saying he doesn't want to date her *HAS* to be singularly the coincidence that their names are the same. Couldn't be any other reason. Nah.
While you fixate on the issue of names being the same as a reason to make fun of the guys epiphany, did you ignore the second point, that additionally he reminded you of his sister because your personalities were similar too? As you noted, there was no spark in the date, now you probably know why. At least he was honest instead of hanging around for a quick lay, and maybe a bit creepier, vicariously screwing his sister by getting in the sack with you.
Hmmm? Let's look a little deeper, instead of making his honesty a punch line. The name similarity wasn't really the main excuse, just the icing.
There are some good points here, especially because he (the guy mp went out with) was honest about it. But hey it's easier to hate on someone at least that's the impression I've had thus far.
Sure. Of course, because it's a guy, the reason for him saying he doesn't want to date her *HAS* to be singularly the coincidence that their names are the same. Couldn't be any other reason. Nah.
There probably was some other reason. She admitted there was no chemistry. That this is what he came up with to tell her is weird, and even weirder if it wasn't the truth at all. I'd have more respect for a "I'm just not feeling it with you" than "the way you laughed at dinner reminded me of my cousin who peed her pants when we were kids, so I'm going to pass on a second date."
Let's practice some critical thinking. First, the OTHER reason was STATED VERBATIM. "...... And you kind of have similar personalities, so I can't date you."
He was being nice about it. She reminds him of his sister, probably far too much for comfort. That's either a really nice compliment, or a really bad insult - who knows. Either way, he tried a date, it didn't work. He owned up to not leading her on, and was being pretty straightforward. All I see is someone feeling a bit insulted the guy didn't want to date her past one initial get together, and is trying to emasculate the guy online by trivializing his sincere and rather nice attempt of saying, "lets be friends." It's ok for girls to let guys down and not be blunt, but when the shoe's on the other foot, he's lame? There's irony in that. Honesty is the holy grail of friendship and relationships, but let's not let that get in the way of tossing someone under the bus.
Wow, you're really standing up tall for this guy. There's probably some reason for that, but I'm not in a dig deeper kind of mood. It's 6pm, I'm loaded up on cold medicine and about to make a cocktail. Plus, I'm really only good for gifs and dick jokes.
I think you're overthinking it a bit. But that's cool. That happens a lot around here so you'll find yourself in good company.
I'm standing up for reason. I'm all for calling the guy a douche if he was, but it certainly didn't sound like it. What's good for the goose is good for the gander! Girls can be as trite as guys can, so why can't they be called out for it? Right? I'm hoping that the keen light of objectivity works around here.
Awww, mp, you've finally made it! You've got your very own troll!
In this case I may go so far as to say it's well deserved, after my limited interactions with her, am I allowed to say that now? I mean there were any number of gender identifications I was told were not kosher.
I digress, she does often point to other external factors for situations and/or interactions. When the main constant is in fact mp
I think we need to focus on the simple tagline here: "he's just not that into you"
so his easy letdown excuse wasn't clever or very believable, is that really so awful and I think masterpens point about him not being sleezy and just trying to get laid anyway is valid
very few people will come straight out and say "I'm not attracted to you after that first date" to your face
I sure as hell wouldn't like how that made me feel to hear better a white lie, it's like he has manners and isn't just a selfish or callous dick
Awww, mp, you've finally made it! You've got your very own troll!
In this case I may go so far as to say it's well deserved, after my limited interactions with her, am I allowed to say that now? I mean there were any number of gender identifications I was told were not kosher.
I digress, she does often point to other external factors for situations and/or interactions. When the main constant is in fact mp
I'm standing up for reason. I'm all for calling the guy a douche if he was, but it certainly didn't sound like it. What's good for the goose is good for the gander! Girls can be as trite as guys can, so why can't they be called out for it? Right? I'm hoping that the keen light of objectivity works around here.
Meh. Stick around and maybe you'd see that I am usually among the last people around here to fall into the "it's us against the douchey men of the world!" foot-stomping. But if you see it that way and want it to fairly go both ways, then knock yourself out.
Nah, I'm not going to pre-judge you. We're having a decent discourse. I like spunk. Don't change, just be non-discriminatory with the blade of sarcasm! No one is above being called out when it's deserved. new people or "elders".
Awww, mp, you've finally made it! You've got your very own troll!
In this case I may go so far as to say it's well deserved, after my limited interactions with her, am I allowed to say that now? I mean there were any number of gender identifications I was told were not kosher.
I digress, she does often point to other external factors for situations and/or interactions. When the main constant is in fact mp
Funny thing is, Kevie and I have been exchanging wits, mp's post was the topic. She's just the literary wallflower, hardly being trolled.
You dudes are seriously getting bent out of shape over nothing. MP didn't do any name calling or insulting, and I certainly didn't see any emasculation going on. She thought his reason for not wanting to date her was silly. What's with the pile on?
I sure as hell wouldn't like how that made me feel to hear better a white lie, it's like he has manners and isn't just a selfish or callous dick
It wasn't callous, but it also wasn't very...smooth? Clever? I don't know. That's what struck me as lame. It was kind of an awkward thing to say. Lol. I don't think that makes him a terrible person or a dick. But it does fairly subject him to anonymous gentle ridicule on a message board.
Oh come on! The last line in mp's post says it all, and why I even bothered with this silly, shallow thread. "It really sounded like he'd written me off based on my name, and maybe I don't put enough weight into names, but this seriously cracks me up."
That's what I commented on in my very first post. what mp stated wasn't even the meaningful reason, but it's the one everyone is latching on to like a baby to a tit. Please. Who's being lame and shallow? If that's what she walked away with from that discourse, then tell me who really is being lame.
You dudes are seriously getting bent out of shape over nothing. MP didn't do any name calling or insulting, and I certainly didn't see any emasculation going on. She thought his reason for not wanting to date her was silly. What's with the pile on?
It's almost "ZOMG HE DOESN'T WANT TO DATE ME BECAUSE MY NAME IS THE SAME AS HIS SISTER!" bent.
You dudes are seriously getting bent out of shape over nothing. MP didn't do any name calling or insulting, and I certainly didn't see any emasculation going on. She thought his reason for not wanting to date her was silly. What's with the pile on?
It's almost "ZOMG HE DOESN'T WANT TO DATE ME BECAUSE MY NAME IS THE SAME AS HIS SISTER!" bent.
But that's the thing- she isn't bent. She shared her dating anecdote; that's all.
Oh come on! The last line in mp's post says it all, and why I even bothered with this silly, shallow thread. "It really sounded like he'd written me off based on my name, and maybe I don't put enough weight into names, but this seriously cracks me up."
That's what I commented on in my very first post. what mp stated wasn't even the meaningful reason, but it's the one everyone is latching on to like a baby to a tit. Please. Who's being lame and shallow? If that's what she walked away with from that discourse, then tell me who really is being lame.
I readily admit that I frequently come here to be lame and shallow (along with silly, absurd, and occasionally immature and banal). Sorry to ruin your gotcha moment.
Ruining it? No way. You're being awesome. Kick me in the nuts awesome.
MP: at least he was honest, chalk it up as a loss and move on. As a male, I've heard/had the following rejections, and yet I still live:
I'm a lesbian You have not travelled outside the US I'm to young for you I'm to old for you You do not make enough $$ I don't date anyone from your part of town I only date white men You're not black enough for me You haven't asked me to go steady with you (only took her out on ONE date)
I'm so glad you guys are here to set me straight and let me know that he just wasn't that into me. I mean, I was about ready to propose to him. But I've seen the light now.
He wasn't into you, and you said you weren't into him. That's cool, no shame in that.
Don't be butthurt. You were being a bit of a bitch by honing in on the name as a lame reason to not being into you, and that wasn't it, just one of a few connections he made that had him uncomfortable. You should have been more concerned about the personality comment.