Anyone except your mom or your sister? Don't you have friends? This particular rule of etiquette has relaxed in recent years but yes, showers hosted by immediate family members are a no no.
Don't be an asshole. Not everyone's friends are able to host a shower.
I'm not being an asshole. It was a ridiculous question to ask who other than a mother or a sister could give a shower. Showers are not a given nor are thy owed to the expectant mother. They are a nice gesture to give to a mom-to-be. And yes I feel like they are seen more as entitlements these days when that's absolutely not true.
I just started my registry for my 2nd. I am not planning to send it out to anyone but really keeping it for my wishlist. 2nd time around you know what you want/need. Plus I had a baby 5 years ago.
Anyone except your mom or your sister? Don't you have friends? This particular rule of etiquette has relaxed in recent years but yes, showers hosted by immediate family members are a no no.
So it's less tacky to ASK your friends to host a shower for you than for a Mom/Sister to throw one?
Even though it wasn't "proper", friends of ours had a diaper shower for themselves where they had a keg, food, and yard games, and guests were asked to bring a pack of diapers. It was actually a lot of fun. I've also been to showers for second babies. I think it's true that a lot of if is how you feel about the host/guest of honor, but I just can't get too worked up over it.
Post by firedancer49 on May 13, 2014 15:43:25 GMT -5
HA! I would never expect a friend to throw me a shower. Well, I wouldn't expect family either, but that's all we do in our family. Family throws it for family.
I'm not being an asshole. It was a ridiculous question to ask who other than a mother or a sister could give a shower. Showers are not a given nor are thy owed to the expectant mother. They are a nice gesture to give to a mom-to-be. And yes I feel like they are seen more as entitlements these days when that's absolutely not true.
No, it wasn't.
My closest girlfriends all live between 2,000-3,000 miles away on the other side of the country.
The friends I have made in two and half years here are great, but in no way would I think to impose on them to throw me a shower, FFS.
As for the last part....you kinda suck.
And you should absolutely not "impose" by asking. Again, a shower is a gift not an entitlement. Normally one does not ask their friend to give them a gift. I would be very surprised if no one offered to throw a shower whether it be friends, coworkers, church congregation...
So....mothers and sisters shouldn't host a shower for their own daughter/sister.
And friends a supposed to magically know to do this in lieu of the family members how?
Clearly I *must* be dumb and not understand who it is that you think should be hosting a shower, and how they are supposed to do it with zero input from the family of the pregnant woman.
Well, I never said there wasn't supposed to be input from the M-T-B. where did you see that? And the etiquette "rules" I mentioned are GENERALLY known although apparently not as generally as I thought.
And you should absolutely not "impose" by asking. Again, a shower is a gift not an entitlement. Normally one does not ask their friend to give them a gift. I would be very surprised if no one offered to throw a shower whether it be friends, coworkers, church congregation...
Explain to me why these people should be the ones throwing a baby shower but not the woman's own family?
Why is it there social and financial responsibility to take on?
And why would co-workers be involved in a family shower?
I have NEVER heard that family isn't supposed to throw a shower, just that the actual Mom-to-be shouldn't be doing it.
What? I didn't say coworkers should throw a family shower. And I never said family wasn't supposed to throw a shower.
So....mothers and sisters shouldn't host a shower for their own daughter/sister.
And friends a supposed to magically know to do this in lieu of the family members how?
Clearly I *must* be dumb and not understand who it is that you think should be hosting a shower, and how they are supposed to do it with zero input from the family of the pregnant woman.
It's regional but yes in the South Mom/MIL/Sisters hosting a shower is typically a No-No. They are generally hosted by the Bride/Mom-to-be's Godmother/friends/Friends of the Grandma to be's/sometimes Aunt. The hostess(es) ask the honoree for input (such as a guest list) but it is completely the hostess(es) event.
That is so lame. My inlaws and SIL hosted a big family/friend shower. It was awesome. This was my primary shower last time. I don't have a lot of close friends and would never expect any of them to take on the task.
It's regional but yes in the South Mom/MIL/Sisters hosting a shower is typically a No-No. They are generally hosted by the Bride/Mom-to-be's Godmother/friends/Friends of the Grandma to be's/sometimes Aunt. The hostess(es) ask the honoree for input (such as a guest list) but it is completely the hostess(es) event.
That's nice, but not everyone has extended family around them.
I don't necessarily agree with it I'm just explaining the way it works and the people I listed except Aunt are often friends not extended family (godmother might be an aunt but more often is a friend of the parents). IME around here typically the honoree's friends step up if their isn't any extended family around to plan something or if they don't hear about a shower being planned. For example my DH's Godmother hosted one of my bridal showers, I didn't know anyone in his hometown so she got together with MIL's friends and hosted a shower for me. In return when her daughter had a baby MIL helped host her shower.
Deep thoughts ... My BFF hosted a Meet the Baby Party for us last month. I requested no gifts. People brought gifts, and called it a Sprinkle. I'm pretty sure I didn't shave my legs that morning. Oh noes!
Even I think there are exceptions to shaving.
Anything to do with the crotch is a good enough reason as any!