HE FUCKED UP MY BIRTHDAY AGAIN

[AHappierHour]

May 29, 2014 14:18:30 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Um... he booked baby sitters, gave you a gift, sent flowers, booked a hotel and made plans with friends.

Maybe you need to chill the fuck out.

Agree. I think he was trying to be nice. Sorry it wasn't your ideal plan but he tried.

[Deleted]

May 29, 2014 14:21:57 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

May 29, 2014 14:18:30 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Agree. I think he was trying to be nice. Sorry it wasn't your ideal plan but he tried.

Yes. I get that he was trying to be nice. The issue has never been the trying or the effort or the thought behind whatever.

The issue is that we have direct discussions about it, and then he just does what he wants anyway and it's almost always in direct contrast to what we agree on. 

[LeggsBenedict]

I would still be pissed. I hate when h asks my opinion and then just does what he wants anyway. especially if it were messing up my birthday plans.

[Deleted]

May 29, 2014 14:02:39 GMT -5 jillianashley6 said:

Dude, he is buying you a house! That is the ULTIMATE bday present!

Last time THAT happened on ML, it didn't work out very well, now did it?

[jlt19]

Wow, maybe your birthday standard shouldn't be so high then?

My DH does whatever I want on my birthday but I'm always still in charge of procuring the sitter, picking the restaurant, etc. All I really want is for HIM to set it all up. The pre-planning takes 1/2 the fun out of it.

Though I would be miffed he planned something that he knew I didn't even want (something HE would like).

[Alyssa]

May 29, 2014 14:14:55 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

Ok. I took some time to breathe.

I don't know why he fucks up the actual day. He really seemed to be on point this year leading up to it. I already got my gift from him (that china hutch I showed you guys a few weeks ago) and he had flowers sent to my office this week, which was nice, so it's not another fucking jello saga.

Basically, we have plans tomorrow night with a group of friends. Like, the most fucking basic 'let's go to this bar' type of plans. MOTHERFUCKING SIMPLE. H booked a bunch of shit on top of that AND told his mom that she was watching O, and forgot to tell me all this. He also booked a hotel room that is nowhere near the bar, and we had already discussed that I didn't want to stay in a hotel room I wanted to stay at my parent's town home (that is like, 10 min from the bar we are going to, and they're not there, and my sister and brother are watching O there, so I can be there when she goes to bed and check on her when we get home...and his mom lives an hour away from where we would be staying it would be ridiculous to make that drive on a Friday afternoon AND ALSO SHE SUCKS AT WATCHING SMALL CHILDREN)I found out via FB like 45 minutes ago that he had all these different plans. He had everyone confused on what and where things were happening.

I called him and was all YOU WILL NOT FUCK UP 2014 FOR ME FIX THIS SHIT NOW STOP CONFUSING PEOPLE AND JUST LET ME DO THE ONE SIMPLE THING I WANT TO DO AND THAT IS GET BUZZED. So, he's fixed it. Technically, crisis has been avoided.

Sorry but I would be rather turned off to doing anything for my husband if he called me up and said that to me.

[Deleted]

Okay, you are just looking for trouble.

I pink puffy heart ya, but STFU with this noise.

[Deleted]

I feel you on why you are frustrated betty.

I think his intentions were probably good, but poorly executed. I'm glad you guys have talked about it and cleared it up.

[cville]

I am not exactly unemotional, and I hate when I think I'm not being heard. I feel you on those points.

On everything else, maybe take a lap around the office, breathe deep, and try to put this aside. Maybe have a nice bowl of pudding?

[Deleted]

May 29, 2014 14:29:35 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Wow, maybe your birthday standard shouldn't be so high then?

My DH does whatever I want on my birthday but I'm always still in charge of procuring the sitter, picking the restaurant, etc. All I really want is for HIM to set it all up. The pre-planning takes 1/2 the fun out of it.

Though I would be miffed he planned something that he knew I didn't even want (something HE would like).

What fucking standards? The standard of "don't undermine Betty's plans behind her back and then mislead everyone about the plans SHE set because you'd personally prefer something much more grand and extravagant"? 

I did get a fucking sitter and picked the bar. He wasn't supposed to do fucking anything. It was all set, weeks in advance. I don't give a shit about pre-planning. It's not a damn gala, I'm just like "Hey! This bar on Friday, be there!"

Then he just went and did a bunch of random shit and told people random things inconsistently, because HE wanted more. HE wanted to go BIG. That has nothing to do with me, or his want or need to respect my wishes. 

[Deleted]

May 29, 2014 14:32:51 GMT -5 cville said:

I am not exactly unemotional, and I hate when I think I'm not being heard. I feel you on those points.

On everything else, maybe take a lap around the office, breathe deep, and try to put this aside. Maybe have a nice bowl of pudding?

Lol, I'm trying to wrangle a way to justify having a cigarette over this.

MAYBE THIS IS THE TRUE GIFT. 

[VeryViolet]

May 29, 2014 14:24:28 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

May 29, 2014 14:21:57 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

Agree. I think he was trying to be nice. Sorry it wasn't your ideal plan but he tried.

Yes. I get that he was trying to be nice. The issue has never been the trying or the effort or the thought behind whatever.

The issue is that we have direct discussions about it, and then he just does what he wants anyway and it's almost always in direct contrast to what we agree on. 

I get why other people are telling you to lay off but I totally get you on this. DH and I have a discussion about something, decide on xyz and then in his head he invents some fucking awesome plan that he never ran by me. Then things get fucked up and it ends up being stressful and problematic for me but he was just trying to help and I am being a bitch. If I mention the conversation he is all yeah that is why I am doing pqrs. Then I want to nut punch him.  

[dexteroni]

May 29, 2014 14:14:55 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

So, he's fixed it. Technically, crisis has been avoided.

I got lost somewhere during paragraph 2, but I'm glad to read this part. It sounds like he's done much better this year than last, even taking into account the now-fixed fuckup.

Happy birthday!

[cville]

May 29, 2014 14:36:36 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

May 29, 2014 14:32:51 GMT -5 cville said:

I am not exactly unemotional, and I hate when I think I'm not being heard. I feel you on those points.

On everything else, maybe take a lap around the office, breathe deep, and try to put this aside. Maybe have a nice bowl of pudding?

Lol, I'm trying to wrangle a way to justify having a cigarette over this.

MAYBE THIS IS THE TRUE GIFT. 

Pudding and Jell-O also make excellent ash trays. The moisture ensures that the fire is truly put out and presents no imminent threat of harm.

[Deleted]

May 29, 2014 14:36:52 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Man, betty, I adore you, but it sounds like he really wanted to do something nice for you. I don't get your fury here and I think it's misplaced.

It's not actual fury, it's more of exasperation. I do truly get that he wanted to do something nice, but I'm just...exhausted from the overreaching if that makes sense. 

[LeggsBenedict]

I want some pudding.

[dexteroni]

May 29, 2014 14:24:28 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

The issue is that we have direct discussions about it, and then he just does what he wants anyway and it's almost always in direct contrast to what we agree on. 

OK yes, that would drive me insane. I guess now you have to have conversations about that aspect of it specifically, if you haven't already. "NO changes from this plan. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing different, NO surprises. Remember!"

[Alyssa]

May 29, 2014 14:39:48 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

May 29, 2014 14:36:52 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Man, betty, I adore you, but it sounds like he really wanted to do something nice for you. I don't get your fury here and I think it's misplaced.

It's not actual fury, it's more of exasperation. I do truly get that he wanted to do something nice, but I'm just...exhausted from the overreaching if that makes sense. 

Maybe your use of the CAPS lock threw everyone off.  You came off as pretty ragey over some birthday plans.

[jlt19]

May 29, 2014 14:34:49 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

May 29, 2014 14:29:35 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Wow, maybe your birthday standard shouldn't be so high then?

My DH does whatever I want on my birthday but I'm always still in charge of procuring the sitter, picking the restaurant, etc. All I really want is for HIM to set it all up. The pre-planning takes 1/2 the fun out of it.

Though I would be miffed he planned something that he knew I didn't even want (something HE would like).

What fucking standards? The standard of "don't undermine Betty's plans behind her back and then mislead everyone about the plans SHE set because you'd personally prefer something much more grand and extravagant"? 

I did get a fucking sitter and picked the bar. He wasn't supposed to do fucking anything. It was all set, weeks in advance. I don't give a shit about pre-planning. It's not a damn gala, I'm just like "Hey! This bar on Friday, be there!"

Then he just went and did a bunch of random shit and told people random things inconsistently, because HE wanted more. HE wanted to go BIG. That has nothing to do with me, or his want or need to respect my wishes. 

The standard of wanting him to do anything for you. You said his thoughts and intentions are always good. His execution is obviously not. So ask him to please not do anything for your birthday going forward so he won't be raked over the coals for trying.

[Deleted]

May 29, 2014 14:42:55 GMT -5 Alyssa said:

May 29, 2014 14:39:48 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

It's not actual fury, it's more of exasperation. I do truly get that he wanted to do something nice, but I'm just...exhausted from the overreaching if that makes sense. 

Maybe your use of the CAPS lock threw everyone off.  You came off as pretty ragey over some birthday plans.

CAPS IS FUN I REGRET NOTHING.

[cville]

May 29, 2014 14:42:55 GMT -5 Alyssa said:

May 29, 2014 14:39:48 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

It's not actual fury, it's more of exasperation. I do truly get that he wanted to do something nice, but I'm just...exhausted from the overreaching if that makes sense. 

Maybe your use of the CAPS lock threw everyone off.  You came off as pretty ragey over some birthday plans.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH CAPS LOCK.

[noodleskooze]

I get it. It's not that he didn't do anything, it's that he didn't have to this time, but he did when he shouldn't have since things were already arranged. I'd be frustrated too; I'm a planner and don't like when things change and suddenly things are inconvenient when they were fine before.

[alzi]

May 29, 2014 14:01:58 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

Jello?


That would make me laugh so hard.


Sorry Betty! My H forgot to say happy birthday to me until mid day when he remembered. And our birthdays are 2 days apart.


Men suck!

Mine did that last year. My mom too. I was 2 weeks post partum and cried in my baby all day. Lol

[elleblue]

May 29, 2014 14:24:28 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

May 29, 2014 14:21:57 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

Agree. I think he was trying to be nice. Sorry it wasn't your ideal plan but he tried.

Yes. I get that he was trying to be nice. The issue has never been the trying or the effort or the thought behind whatever.

The issue is that we have direct discussions about it, and then he just does what he wants anyway and it's almost always in direct contrast to what we agree on. 

I'm sorry. I'm sure that makes you feel like he doesn't listen or pay any attention at all. 

[LeggsBenedict]

STOP TELLING ME HOW TO TYPE.

[Deleted]

IF YOU WANT TECHNICALLY PROPER WRITING MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST READ LUCY AND MISO'S THREADS.

IF YOU WANT PASSION, STICK WITH BETTY.

[bonquiqui]

nuggetbrain likes caps too

This is better than jello

[fuckyourcouch]

BETTY ALWAYS USES CAPS FOR DRAMATICS PAY ATTENTION

HTH YWIA LYLAS OMGWTFBBQ

[noodleskooze]

It's like some of these people don't even know you. The outrage at the "outrage" is weird.

[sparkythelawyer]

I wonder if you had already set him up to "fail you again" so it just didn't take much to set you off here. Because everything you mentioned is fixable, and not the end of the world.