Wow, maybe your birthday standard shouldn't be so high then?
My DH does whatever I want on my birthday but I'm always still in charge of procuring the sitter, picking the restaurant, etc. All I really want is for HIM to set it all up. The pre-planning takes 1/2 the fun out of it.
Though I would be miffed he planned something that he knew I didn't even want (something HE would like).
What fucking standards? The standard of "don't undermine Betty's plans behind her back and then mislead everyone about the plans SHE set because you'd personally prefer something much more grand and extravagant"?
I did get a fucking sitter and picked the bar. He wasn't supposed to do fucking anything. It was all set, weeks in advance. I don't give a shit about pre-planning. It's not a damn gala, I'm just like "Hey! This bar on Friday, be there!"
Then he just went and did a bunch of random shit and told people random things inconsistently, because HE wanted more. HE wanted to go BIG. That has nothing to do with me, or his want or need to respect my wishes.
I heart you, betty but perhaps he was doing this to make up from last year. He got how disappointed you were last time and maybe was trying to make up for it.
Did he ever say why he thought jello was a good gift?
Oh yeah, it was an inside joke to some story from high school...but after he kind of broke it down it was an inside story I had with my boyfriend at the time (H's friend...not H) and I didn't even remember it.
It was funny.
Now that I've typed that out for like the third time it kind of makes him seem stalker-y, lol. He wasn't!
Post by trafficgirl on May 29, 2014 15:05:10 GMT -5
I get being upset over this. I'm also a planner and if H went behind my back to change up all the plans we agreed on I would be pissed.
And I'll just drop this here - H didn't get me a damn thing for Mother's Day this year. No card, no gift, no making breakfast, nothing. For my first Mother's Day. After carrying and then birthing his two sons.
We'll see if next year I have a similar thread to this one about how he messed up again.
Post by MixedBerryJam on May 29, 2014 15:09:50 GMT -5
Isn't your relationship with your mil pretty fucked up? Like, child-endangermentl-level? I don't recall details, but if that's the case I'd probably be more than pissed that he arranged to have her watch the baby when you had already arranged something with your sister. The rest sounds like a massive miscommunication, although even the hotel thing sounds a little passive-aggressive on his part. I hope you have a nice birthday nonetheless. Flan for dessert, no jello!
Post by jojoandleo on May 29, 2014 15:15:55 GMT -5
Team Betty. You all talked about it, plans were made, he went behind your back to plan something else. NO! It is YOUR birthday, what you want wins. I would be particularly annoyed with the fact that you already told him point blank you DO NOT WANT A HOTEL ROOM, and then he booked one. To be nice. You know what's nice? LISTENING WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU NO!
Glad it's all fixed. I say you no longer get buzzed on your birthday and go for full on drunk. Cheers!
Agree. I think he was trying to be nice. Sorry it wasn't your ideal plan but he tried.
The issue is that we have direct discussions about it, and then he just does what he wants anyway and it's almost always in direct contrast to what we agree on.
My DH does this all the time and it drives me insane, so I feel you. Sometimes I get so frustrated and wonder what the hell is the point of discussing stuff with him if he's not going to stick to the plan we talked about!?
If someone else posted this, I'd be one of the "he tried" "what about some moderation?" posts. But last year he gave jello. This year she gets a pass from me on irrational overdone annoyance.
Agree. I think he was trying to be nice. Sorry it wasn't your ideal plan but he tried.
Yes. I get that he was trying to be nice. The issue has never been the trying or the effort or the thought behind whatever.
The issue is that we have direct discussions about it, and then he just does what he wants anyway and it's almost always in direct contrast to what we agree on.
I understand you 100%
My h booked a spa day and lunch with my friends as a surprise (I don't like surprises) when c was 4 weeks old. Having to pump 3 times in a spa back room with random people jiggling the doorknob and be away from my baby was uncomfortable and I wasn't happy. After I explained I didn't like my birthdays planned FOR me, he did the exact same thing the next year. Wtf h.
This birthday is 30, I'll be 9 months pregnant, and he better not fuck it up.
Post by spitforspat on May 29, 2014 16:43:40 GMT -5
In my mind this is the worst kind of disappointment. It's the kind where you can't even complain because it LOOKS like the other person was being awesome instead of disappointing.