My mom died at 36. I'm 37, and it scares the ever-loving shit out of me every day, to think at my kids could lose me when they are still babies. It's paralyzing.
I'm afraid of losing one of my kids.
I'm afraid that after my dad dies, my brother and I won't be close.
Post by happyholiday on Jun 1, 2014 21:21:22 GMT -5
I am afraid I'm going to fall apart with 2 kids while DH is working abroad for a whole year. I'm afraid my sons will miss out on all the "Daddy" things that I'm bad at (like sports stuff). I'm scared I will fail my kids this year. I'm afraid DH and I will grow apart.
I'm afraid of dying and leaving my son without a mom
I'm afraid of something happening to my son
I'm afraid every day that it is going to be the day that I get the phone call that my brother has died from a drug overdose or one of his many illnesses
Post by whiterascal on Jun 1, 2014 21:22:34 GMT -5
We recently started TTC, but I'm afraid H and I will never make enough money to support a child. I work for a small business and don't get maternity leave. I'm also on my feet all day doing fairly hard labor, so it's not like I can work right up until my due date. I just don't know if we can get by on H's salary alone for that long.
I'm terrified of anything happening to H. When he's late coming home and doesn't answer his phone, I have full blown panic attacks that he has died in a car crash.
I'm afraid I can't get pregnant.
I'm afraid I really am falling apart. I don't know what's wrong with me that I can wake up and suddenly my left wrist has given out, and that's not even unusual.
I'm afraid of not being "enough" for my loved ones.
I'm afraid I'll never have a baby. I love my (step)kids so much, and want a baby with my H more than anything. I'm scared we'll never have the money for fertility treatments, and I'm going to be 40 in September (tick, tock)
I'm afraid of my mom's chemo/radiation not working, and dying.
I'm afraid I'll never have the simple, quiet lift I long for.
I'm afraid of staying in a toxic relationship. I'm afraid of my son choking. I'm afraid I will always have a giant belly. I'm afraid of making a poor diagnosis or missing something in a child and causing permanent damage or death.
I'm afraid that I'll never have any great lasting female friendships. I'm socially awkward in group settings (I get anxiety about it) and I'm incredibly bad at making friends. I think I'm a decently cool person and a good friend, But I'm having a hard time finding friends that I have enough in common with to get really close with. It's bumming me out.
Not so much a fear, but I'm worried that I'm getting anxious about sleep again. I start obsessing over how many hours I am able to sleep and then wake up nearly every hour to count how many more hours I have.
I'm afraid that once I finally get a permanent teaching job, I'm going to be a sucky teacher. I've always wanted to teach and was never brave enough to change careers...now I've done it, and I'm afraid it's not going to be what I want it to be.
I'm afraid that one day I'm going to regret not having a second child.
And I'm afraid of H dying and leaving W and me alone. He has unexplained cardiac and neurological problems, and I'm afraid that the next time something super stressful comes up, it's going to get him.
I'm terrified of anything happening to H. When he's late coming home and doesn't answer his phone, I have full blown panic attacks that he has died in a car crash.
I'm afraid I can't get pregnant.
I'm afraid I really am falling apart. I don't know what's wrong with me that I can wake up and suddenly my left wrist has given out, and that's not even unusual.
OK, I honestly don't mean to single you out, mskitkat.
You are not falling apart. Do you have unexplained fears? Anxiety that rears up with no discernible reason? Routines/rituals that help calm you? Unexplained physical symptoms when you are otherwise completely healthy?
Do I have anxiety? Yes. I've been in therapy for that. But really, I have things like, my hips will give out and I can't walk without burning pain. My doctors have brought up a genetic degenerative joint disorder, but I'm too chicken to get tested.
I'm afraid that my DD1 with autism won't be able to have an independent life. That she'll be tormented socially and unable to make friends, that I won't be able to do enough to help and protect her; that she'll be unable to get or keep a job, that she'll be completely dependent on DH and me, forever. That she'll have a stunted life, and I'll never get to be a non-care-giver and that DH and I will never really be able to retire because she'll need our financial support.
I share many of the same fears as all of you (losing my loved ones, regreting not having children, growing old and alone, etc.)
My more immediate fear right this minute is going to work tomorrow and for the rest of the week really. I've been having anxiety attacks all weekend and it sucks because H was really trying to make things enjoyable and I just couldn't be in the moment. I'm working outside of my classification (being taken advantage of by a boss who is a maniacal bully, no bullshit), heading up a massive relocation project that I have no fucking clue how to coordinate or manage because it's not my job to know, there is no one to help me (literally all of my resources were laid off due to temp positions expiring over the past 3 months) and I am just overwhelmed and my boss could not give fewer fucks about it. I will take any reassurances that anyone can spare.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Jun 1, 2014 21:43:56 GMT -5
I am afraid of growing old alone, without my husband to advocate for me when I am vulnerable.
i am afraid the next man I kiss will be a loser and I'll be sad I kissed him, and my last kiss from then on won't have been with my husband. The last man I kissed was my husband, and that was on Feb 6, 2010.
i am afraid my kids won't be close when they are adults. They are the only family they will have once I'm gone.
I am also terrified of anything happening to the animals, like a house fire. It is pretty much one of my worse nightmares that I will come home from work and my house will have been burnt down to the ground with all my pets inside.
When I have work fears like that, it calms me down immensely to start sending out my resume. Even if I'm not serious about it, I feel like I am more in control, that it's my choice to continue working there, and if it gets to be too much, I have options. Could you try that?
I'm afraid that I'm a crappy mom. I'm afraid that I will never meet someone and will end up alone. I'm afraid I spend too much time working and am wasting my life
I'm afraid of dying and just ceasing to exist, but I'm also afraid of existing for all eternity.
This board has made me afraid dh will cheat on me someday. It appears to come out of nowhere so often on here.
I'm afraid of dying while alone with the kids and them being alone and terrified for hours or days. I hope ds is old enough now to go ask the neighbor for help, but I don't want to make him fearful by teaching him what to do if I'm unresponsive.
I'm afraid of turning into my Mother.
I'm deeply, deeply afraid my cancer will come back.
When I have work fears like that, it calms me down immensely to start sending out my resume. Even if I'm not serious about it, I feel like I am more in control, that it's my choice to continue working there, and if it gets to be too much, I have options. Could you try that?
I suppose I could! I've never done that. Seeing as how I'm working out of class and have taken on a bunch of new responsibilities, I do need to add a few bullets to my resume anyway. Thanks.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Jun 1, 2014 21:54:09 GMT -5
That if I let my guard down for one second something sudden and terrible will happen to my husband again, just like it happened with his accident. I left at 9:15 that morning and he was fine and sleeping in bed. by 11:30 he was on a ventilator and his blood pressure was 39/13.
That by the time we are actually ready to have kids we will not be able to do so.
That I will always be playing catch up, financially speaking
That I really am stupid and not smart enough to be good at my job.
I'm afraid of my husband getting out of the military. The next year should be fun. :/
For 3, it will be ok I promise. The first year H was out and unemployed was awful even though he was going to school. We're making 3x what he made in the USMC now. It won't be fun at first but it will work out in the end.