There's a difference between trendy & tacky. Most plus size shit looks like it's made from former waterbed sheets, all full of painted brushstrokes or rhinestone peacocks or whatever. I *do* want trendy; I don't want to look like I've given up on life.
Ugh. Blazers. I want to like them. They look good.
But they're fucking hot on my commute. So I can either leave a bunch at work or I can carry them on the Metro along with my bag and my lunch and my laptop and...ugh, so much work.
And then I just find structured sleeves so uncomfortable when I'm typing all day. Why is fashion so hard?
I know, I know. #teamlazy
Get a black blazer to wear at work. Or just wear them in the winter.
I wear knits mostly. Button up shirts and such have to fit perfectly or they look frumpy.
Post by delawarejen on Aug 22, 2014 13:20:43 GMT -5
I'm in my 30's, but I have always been a conservative dresser. I want comfortable and modest clothing that fits the work dress code (so no sleeveless, no shorts, no denim, I don't want to have to wear a camisole under it, and I prefer my knees covered when I sit down so it's a good thing I'm short). Out of the things Pugz showed, one would show my bra strap and 2 are sleeveless, so the dress is the only thing I might wear. I wear short sleeves year-round because my office is too warm, but I only wear skirts from May to September because my legs freeze outside. I'm too busty to wear a lot of things, like any shirt that doesn't gather at the neck. I live in Lee pants and short sleeve cotton shirts I find at places like Kohl's, with the occasional column dress. So if that makes me an old lady, so be it. (At least I'm not shopping at Chico's or Coldwater Creek, but that's more because of their low quality for the money than any objection to their styles.) I would make my own clothing (and I used to), but most patterns stop at the equivalent of a size 14.
I'm tired of making sure every plus-size shirt isn't either see-through or low cut (I tend to wear shirts that are lower cut than I would prefer, simply because that's what they sell). I order more things online than I buy in the stores anymore, but end up sending most of it back.
Ugh. Blazers. I want to like them. They look good.
But they're fucking hot on my commute. So I can either leave a bunch at work or I can carry them on the Metro along with my bag and my lunch and my laptop and...ugh, so much work.
And then I just find structured sleeves so uncomfortable when I'm typing all day. Why is fashion so hard?
I know, I know. #teamlazy[/quote ]
Okay finally lol. This is what I was laughing at. Dude it is a blazer. It is not a marathon
Ugh. Blazers. I want to like them. They look good.
But they're fucking hot on my commute. So I can either leave a bunch at work or I can carry them on the Metro along with my bag and my lunch and my laptop and...ugh, so much work.
And then I just find structured sleeves so uncomfortable when I'm typing all day. Why is fashion so hard?
I know, I know. #teamlazy
Okay finally lol. This is what I was laughing at. Dude it is a blazer. It is not a marathon
I know, I know.
But I sweat my ass off in a sleeveless dress walking to/from the Metro (and the station near my office never has AC running). I already carry 2 big bags, so I don't want to carry more stuff.
Gah. Sometimes I think life would be easier if I moved to the suburbs and drove to work every day (see, e.g., shoes), but I don't wanna!
Okay finally lol. This is what I was laughing at. Dude it is a blazer. It is not a marathon
I know, I know.
But I sweat my ass off in a sleeveless dress walking to/from the Metro (and the station near my office never has AC running). I already carry 2 big bags, so I don't want to carry more stuff.
Gah. Sometimes I think life would be easier if I moved to the suburbs and drove to work every day (see, e.g., shoes), but I don't wanna!
#youdontknowmylyfe
Unless it is linen it probably won't wrinkle. I wear blazers and take the train. I fold it neatly and put it in my extra bag and it comes out looking fine. I guess the one plus to the reduced quality in fabrics is that cheaper stuff doesn't wrinkle quickly.
I know it is discouraging to go shopping and have shitty fitting clothing. It happens to me now as a size 12 and did when I was a size 16. I have to put in work to look pulled together. It doesn't necessarily come easy. The thing that make it easier now is that I've established where key pieces fit me. I know what colors I want, and what other pieces have worked for me and buy something similar. I still go into gap with 2-3 of the same pair of pants and try them all on to see which of the three mass produced pair is going to fit me best.
Not to mention, I've gone shopping with plus sized women. I know the selection may be limited, but it takes time. Trying on, and looking through racks and stores will help.
Please understand that it takes effort at any size to look pulled together. Maybe it makes me a bitch, but I don't like hearing about people bitching when they haven't put in the work. (again, this is regardless of size) It may be more difficult to find clothing, but it isn't impossible. You might not need to look like a magazine spread of new trends, but take a piece (like NitaX said) and pair basics with it.
I think another way to look at it, which it seems people have in this thread, is that when you go out to shop and you find a piece that doesn't fit well, don't get discouraged. It's the piece of clothing that is crappy, not your beautiful body.
Also Pinterest is your friend. I look daily for inspiration. Pinterest is the lazy girls friend. lol. I wrote it in the fall fashion thread, but type in something you own and want to wear. "Black work pants" and see what comes up. Find a picture or 100 that you can work with and put it on in the morning.
I can't DITTO this enough. Really, this can apply to anyone. Even with me - everything simply doesn't look good on me. There are things I can't wear because I don't have all the curves to make it work. I have boobs and some curve in my hips, but not enough to carry some things off well. Anything with a lot of drape - I have to steer clear because it looks as if I got attacked by the fabric.
For me - my go to is a structured blazer. It helps create the illusion that I have a butt. Because trust - that is not always the case. Case in point, in Chicago, Smo was with me while I tried on no less that 5 jumpsuits. EVERY SINGLE ONE looked like shit on me. It was so bad I didn't even bother to yell for Smo to come look. No need to look at my droopy ass. I finally found a jumpsuit once I got home, but it had a key component - the cut looked more like I had two pieces instead of one.
But, if you get discouraged and just say "everything about my body is wrong," you'll never try. You have to try on stuff to find what looks great. It's the nature of the beast with shopping. It's not you - it's the designer and the cut. One cut works well. For me, I know - like Cookie mentioned - that the Marissa fit pant works best for me in LOFT. Cookie got some bootay. My scrawny ass doesn't. But the Marissa fit is better than the Julie on me because I don't have butt to throw in those pants.
I know it is discouraging to go shopping and have shitty fitting clothing. It happens to me now as a size 12 and did when I was a size 16. I have to put in work to look pulled together. It doesn't necessarily come easy. The thing that makes it easier now is that I've established where key pieces fit me. I know what colors I want, and what other pieces have worked for me and buy something similar. I still go into gap with 2-3 of the same pair of pants and try them all on to see which of the three mass produced pair is going to fit me best.
Not to mention, I've gone shopping with plus sized women. I know the selection may be limited, but it takes time. Trying on, and looking through racks and stores will help.
Please understand that it takes effort at any size to look pulled together. Maybe it makes me a bitch, but I don't like hearing about people bitching when they haven't put in the work. (again, this is regardless of size) It may be more difficult to find clothing, but it isn't impossible. You might not need to look like a magazine spread of new trends, but take a piece (like NitaX said) and pair basics with it.
I think another way to look at it, which it seems people have in this thread, is that when you go out to shop and you find a piece that doesn't fit well, don't get discouraged. It's the piece of clothing that is crappy, not your beautiful body.
Also Pinterest is your friend. I look daily for inspiration. Pinterest is the lazy girls friend. lol. I wrote it in the fall fashion thread, but type in something you own and want to wear. "Black work pants" and see what comes up. Find a picture or 100 that you can work with and put it on in the morning.
My friend is a stylist and created several style boards for various shapes:
This is why I hate shopping. I don't have the time or money to go to multiple stores and try on everything 3 times (to accommodate the 3 sizes I might be, depending on the style, cut and store). And when I do try things on and see that very little looks good on me or fits well, it becomes even more discouraging about how I look--which certainly doesn't motivate me to keep shopping.
Granted, I haven't looked much for plus size clothing but based on reading this thread it seems like there is a gap in the market for a JCrew (or what was formerly jcrew style since it's now kind of bananas) style for plus size. A classic/preppy look that is stylish without being frumpy.
I could be wrong but this is based on what I've read in this thread and what I see when I am out shopping or online shopping. It seems like there are places that sell trendy pieces and places that sell frumpy pieces and some inexpensive places that sell a combo but it's poor quality.
I'm not sure what Nordstrom's plus size section is like but Nordstrom has been my go to for a few years now because I fall somewhere in between trendy (like I can do one trendy piece but not a whole outfit) and a more classic style as far as what appeals to me. I used to buy more at jcrew and places like anthro and banana republic but I've either had a bad experience with quality, or get overwhelmed shopping there (anthro) or the styling and fit is just wrong to me (jcrew). I have things I will buy at all those places and I also like Asos. But the bulk of things I find that I wear over and over are from Nordstrom. And it's not necessarily their expensive brands either. They just have a nice mix of things I find stylish, flattering, good quality but not too young or too old for me.
I think for anyone finding some great staple and classic pieces that fit well (or are tailored to fit well) is a good priority and then add in trendier pieces after that. I know I used to buy tons of random things and I would wear them once and then be like "why did I ever buy this?"
I know it is discouraging to go shopping and have shitty fitting clothing. It happens to me now as a size 12 and did when I was a size 16. I have to put in work to look pulled together. It doesn't necessarily come easy. The thing that makes it easier now is that I've established where key pieces fit me. I know what colors I want, and what other pieces have worked for me and buy something similar. I still go into gap with 2-3 of the same pair of pants and try them all on to see which of the three mass produced pair is going to fit me best.
Not to mention, I've gone shopping with plus sized women. I know the selection may be limited, but it takes time. Trying on, and looking through racks and stores will help.
Please understand that it takes effort at any size to look pulled together. Maybe it makes me a bitch, but I don't like hearing about people bitching when they haven't put in the work. (again, this is regardless of size) It may be more difficult to find clothing, but it isn't impossible. You might not need to look like a magazine spread of new trends, but take a piece (like NitaX said) and pair basics with it.
I think another way to look at it, which it seems people have in this thread, is that when you go out to shop and you find a piece that doesn't fit well, don't get discouraged. It's the piece of clothing that is crappy, not your beautiful body.
Also Pinterest is your friend. I look daily for inspiration. Pinterest is the lazy girls friend. lol. I wrote it in the fall fashion thread, but type in something you own and want to wear. "Black work pants" and see what comes up. Find a picture or 100 that you can work with and put it on in the morning.
My friend is a stylist and created several style boards for various shapes:
or just hire @smorriso to come out and shop with you for the day .
But, if you get discouraged and just say "everything about my body is wrong," you'll never try. You have to try on stuff to find what looks great. It's the nature of the beast with shopping. It's not you - it's the designer and the cut. One cut works well. For me, I know - like Cookie mentioned - that the Marissa fit pant works best for me in LOFT. Cookie got some bootay. My scrawny ass doesn't. But the Marissa fit is better than the Julie on me because I don't have butt to throw in those pants.
A'ight, wait, I haven't been in here 'cause it seemed too obvious to me, but is this what's going on? Fatties do feel like everything about our bodies is wrong. Five years ago, it would never have occurred to me that everyone has to try stuff on to find great stuff. I thought stuff looked like shit on me because I looked like shit. I know everyone has body issues, but really, it shouldn't be surprising that fatties have proportionately more body issues.
Granted, I haven't looked much for plus size clothing but based on reading this thread it seems like there is a gap in the market for a JCrew (or what was formerly jcrew style since it's now kind of bananas) style for plus size. A classic/preppy look that is stylish without being frumpy.
I could be wrong but this is based on what I've read in this thread and what I see when I am out shopping or online shopping. It seems like there are places that sell trendy pieces and places that sell frumpy pieces and some inexpensive places that sell a combo but it's poor quality.
I'm not sure what Nordstrom's plus size section is like but Nordstrom has been my go to for a few years now because I fall somewhere in between trendy (like I can do one trendy piece but not a whole outfit) and a more classic style as far as what appeals to me. I used to buy more at jcrew and places like anthro and banana republic but I've either had a bad experience with quality, or get overwhelmed shopping there (anthro) or the styling and fit is just wrong to me (jcrew). I have things I will buy at all those places and I also like Asos. But the bulk of things I find that I wear over and over are from Nordstrom. And it's not necessarily their expensive brands either. They just have a nice mix of things I find stylish, flattering, good quality but not too young or too old for me.
I think for anyone finding some great staple and classic pieces that fit well (or are tailored to fit well) is a good priority and then add in trendier pieces after that. I know I used to buy tons of random things and I would wear them once and then be like "why did I ever buy this?"
Just my ramblings on the topic.
For slightly more conservative, Talbots and Lands' End are pretty good.
If you haven't explored them, J Jill has some nice plus size stuff online. I haven't bought from them in forever, but when I was, the quality was really nice.
If I was made of cold hard cash I'd buy my wardrobe from Eileen Fisher, but, alas...
But, if you get discouraged and just say "everything about my body is wrong," you'll never try. You have to try on stuff to find what looks great. It's the nature of the beast with shopping. It's not you - it's the designer and the cut. One cut works well. For me, I know - like Cookie mentioned - that the Marissa fit pant works best for me in LOFT. Cookie got some bootay. My scrawny ass doesn't. But the Marissa fit is better than the Julie on me because I don't have butt to throw in those pants.
A'ight, wait, I haven't been in here 'cause it seemed too obvious to me, but is this what's going on? Fatties do feel like everything about our bodies is wrong. Five years ago, it would never have occurred to me that everyone has to try stuff on to find great stuff. I thought stuff looked like shit on me because I looked like shit. I know everyone has body issues, but really, it shouldn't be surprising that fatties have proportionately more body issues.
Nope. Some stuff looks like shit on me too. LOL I know it's hard to believe that would be the case, but there are some things that just don't work on me because I don't have anything to fill it out in the right areas.
Perfect example - those loose shift dresses look great on say Sou. They don't look good on me. I have to belt a dress like that because the only thing that sticks out are my boobs. Other than that I look like I was swallowed by the dress. Pencil skirts, sheath dresses - I can do those because it's fitted and tailored at the waist which gives the illusion that I have a nice butt. Shift dress - no. Skinny lady drowning is the look I get.
katfco - You have to buy clothing at some point. I would try to set a date where you don't have kids or time to worry about. Just go out and shop. Scout out stores that might have good options before hand so you don't walk in blind. Most stores have inventory available online.
If you don't want to make the time - general you, not you in particular katfco - I don't get the expectation of feeling great in what you wear. To me, saving up to spend a day or hell a girls weekend to shop for clothing that is comfortable and wearable that makes you feel great is worth the sacrifice of time and frustration of being a plus sized shopper.
It's not an issue of not wanting to make time, it's a repeated feeling that making the time won't help. It's a combination of limited budget (seriously, my wardrobe is significantly smaller than most people's I'd wager) and poor body image. I buy clothes when I have the money and necessity, but other than a few stores at which I know I can usually find something, I simply have no idea where to shop--or, maybe they have great clothes, but there's no sale when I'm going.
katfco - You have to buy clothing at some point. I would try to set a date where you don't have kids or time to worry about. Just go out and shop. Scout out stores that might have good options before hand so you don't walk in blind. Most stores have inventory available online.
If you don't want to make the time - general you, not you in particular katfco - I don't get the expectation of feeling great in what you wear. To me, saving up to spend a day or hell a girls weekend to shop for clothing that is comfortable and wearable that makes you feel great is worth the sacrifice of time and frustration of being a plus sized shopper.
I would *love* to be able to just go to stores and try things on. I would *love* to be able to look online and feel relatively confident that when I show up at the store, a meaningful portion of what I see is both in stock and available in my size. I would *love* to be able to go to a mall, and know that there's more than 1-2 places to try clothes on.
But that doesn't happen.
What does happen is I think "I need a new suit." I look online and see that Macy's and Nordstroms have lots of suits. I drive 25 minutes east on the freeway. I get to Macy's. I discover that I need a 16 on the bottom but a 14W on top. Well, that's an impossible match to make at Macy's because the styles are different in different departments. I go to Nordstrom's, same deal. I go to Talbots. They have no such sizes in stock because they are "extended" sizes, and they only get in 1 of each and oops, they are all out. Ann Taylor does not carry sizes larger than 14 in store. Neither does Banana Republic. Now I'm out about 4 hours and $10 in parking. I drive home, defeated.
Then the next weekend, I spend 45 minutes in the car, driving south to the outlets. I nearly kill myself fighting for a parking space. Well, the Ann Taylor outlet has no suits that day. Banana Republic does not carry larger than 14 in the store. Nordstrom Rack decides that it's a great idea to mix plus in with petite, and aside from a few stray blazers, also does not carry suits in sizes about 14 in their store. I drive home, defeated.
The next day, I drive north, where I go to Avenue, which has nothing that will do in a 14W. I finally wind up at Dress Barn, where by the grace of the flying spaghetti monster, they have a skirt in a 16 and a matching jacket in 14W. It is a little frumpy and would not have been my first choice, but WTF choice do I have at this point?
There is literally nothing left for me to try on. I could continue to play the game by mail, but I'm fucking exhausted, I'm frustrated, and the initial cost of ordering enough suit pieces at once to be able to make a decision that I'm going to be ecstatic with, i.e. the amount of articles of clothing that I really need to just try on to find that A+ outfit, makes it prohibitively expensive and a much bigger pain in the ass.
I have a question for other plus size ladies. I often like what I'm wearing from the front, but then check out the side view, realize I look about as wide as I am tall and put something back.
Does everyone look at how they look from the side? Or is this just a me thing? I love that navy blue dress/belt look above, but it would look AWFUL from the side :/
Yes.
This is why I don't wear belts unless it is to hold my pants up.
Nothing that is belted ever looks good on me from the side. It just draws the eye to the last place I need the eye looking.
A'ight, wait, I haven't been in here 'cause it seemed too obvious to me, but is this what's going on? Fatties do feel like everything about our bodies is wrong. Five years ago, it would never have occurred to me that everyone has to try stuff on to find great stuff. I thought stuff looked like shit on me because I looked like shit. I know everyone has body issues, but really, it shouldn't be surprising that fatties have proportionately more body issues.
I think that it becomes a combination of lack of selection and variety of fit for plus sized shoppers. It's easy for someone in "regular" sizing to have to try on several cuts and styles of a pair of jeans/pants/whatever, and be disappointed. In turn, they normally have more luck finding something because there is more of a selection to choose from regarding their particular body. I think that is what mostly sucks about plus sized fashion.
When a person is larger, the areas that their particular body carry weight is what affects how something will fit. Someone mentioned that they have really thin legs and weight in their mid section. That is harder to fit because clothing of all sizes is generally made for people who are more balanced throughout. I hope that makes sense.
Word. I was just thinking this skimming by this and the fashion thread today, that I would love to get it together more, but as a starting point I'm 5'2", size 12/14 or XL, with an extremely short waist, 36Fs, and a belly pouch that's seen two decently sized humans sliced out of it. I was just reading some buzzfeed about how to dress as a short, curvy girl, and I stopped reading when it said "tuck everything in". And I have neither the time nor the inclination to go on ESF's tour of the bay area trying to find something that will fit that, only to end up with something just as frumpy as I started out with.
I mean, I'm trying. I'm getting better. I'm actually going out on a couple day-long shopping trips a year now. But man. And that only came once I started accepting my body. The point where I started spending money on my wardrobe and where I started accepting my body are one and the same.
And now that I've read the rest of the thread I realize THIS is what we're doing, sharing 6 pages worth of different body types But I still think plus size clothes don't sell because plus sized customers don't like their bodies enough to spend $ on them.
I guess the thing that makes this easier for me is I'm an hourglass at my biggest and a pear when I'm smaller, so belting accentuates my waist and ass (the latter is not a problem for me, I like having a big ass). Also, there are more options for pears, hourglass.
I'm sort of hourglass/pear as well. I have a very short torso, compared to the rest of my body. In general, I prefer to try to lengthen out through my mid-section, and belts cut me in strange ways.
But the bigger problem is wear to place it. If it's too high, where my narrow part is, I look pregnant. I mean, my boobs look amazing, but I seriously look pregnant. Or I look like someone cut my stomach out, and its just two boobs sitting on top of two legs.
If it's too low, I wind up with a tent above the belt and my boobs and waist are completely lost, and the belt is strapped across my tummy, which just is not flattering.
You do now want to know how many hours I've spent reading about belts for various body types and where to place them, and I've never been successful.
My husband is very good about telling me I look great, but any time I have ever tried a belt, his reaction is, "something doesn't look right."
Granted, I haven't looked much for plus size clothing but based on reading this thread it seems like there is a gap in the market for a JCrew (or what was formerly jcrew style since it's now kind of bananas) style for plus size. A classic/preppy look that is stylish without being frumpy.
I could be wrong but this is based on what I've read in this thread and what I see when I am out shopping or online shopping. It seems like there are places that sell trendy pieces and places that sell frumpy pieces and some inexpensive places that sell a combo but it's poor quality.
I'm not sure what Nordstrom's plus size section is like but Nordstrom has been my go to for a few years now because I fall somewhere in between trendy (like I can do one trendy piece but not a whole outfit) and a more classic style as far as what appeals to me. I used to buy more at jcrew and places like anthro and banana republic but I've either had a bad experience with quality, or get overwhelmed shopping there (anthro) or the styling and fit is just wrong to me (jcrew). I have things I will buy at all those places and I also like Asos. But the bulk of things I find that I wear over and over are from Nordstrom. And it's not necessarily their expensive brands either. They just have a nice mix of things I find stylish, flattering, good quality but not too young or too old for me.
I think for anyone finding some great staple and classic pieces that fit well (or are tailored to fit well) is a good priority and then add in trendier pieces after that. I know I used to buy tons of random things and I would wear them once and then be like "why did I ever buy this?"
Just my ramblings on the topic.
You are correct that JCrew is exactly what I want.
And Nordstrom Plus Size in store on Kansas City at least is a circle of hell. It is SO DEPRESSiNG. I walk past a floor of cute things like "oh that blue blazer would great on me in my size. What a lovely pencil skirt if it were my size). NOPE. It's $100 frumpy-ass grey drapey tops and boxy button ups.
Jeans are sometimes decent. But don't get me started on NYDJ. I'm 33. No! That name keeps me away.
Post by statlerwaldorf on Aug 22, 2014 17:27:44 GMT -5
I can't do belted dresses. I carry most of my weight in my belly and boobs. If I put the belt at my waist, I am emphasizing the largest part of me. If I move it up a bit, I look pregnant.
I wear a lot of cardigans and blazers. They help balance me out.
I know it is discouraging to go shopping and have shitty fitting clothing. It happens to me now as a size 12 and did when I was a size 16. I have to put in work to look pulled together. It doesn't necessarily come easy. The thing that makes it easier now is that I've established where key pieces fit me. I know what colors I want, and what other pieces have worked for me and buy something similar. I still go into gap with 2-3 of the same pair of pants and try them all on to see which of the three mass produced pair is going to fit me best.
Not to mention, I've gone shopping with plus sized women. I know the selection may be limited, but it takes time. Trying on, and looking through racks and stores will help.
Please understand that it takes effort at any size to look pulled together. Maybe it makes me a bitch, but I don't like hearing about people bitching when they haven't put in the work. (again, this is regardless of size) It may be more difficult to find clothing, but it isn't impossible. You might not need to look like a magazine spread of new trends, but take a piece (like NitaX said) and pair basics with it.
I think another way to look at it, which it seems people have in this thread, is that when you go out to shop and you find a piece that doesn't fit well, don't get discouraged. It's the piece of clothing that is crappy, not your beautiful body.
Also Pinterest is your friend. I look daily for inspiration. Pinterest is the lazy girls friend. lol. I wrote it in the fall fashion thread, but type in something you own and want to wear. "Black work pants" and see what comes up. Find a picture or 100 that you can work with and put it on in the morning.
My friend is a stylist and created several style boards for various shapes:
or just hire @smorriso to come out and shop with you for the day .
My plan is to lure her with promises of banana cream pie.
I guess the thing that makes this easier for me is I'm an hourglass at my biggest and a pear when I'm smaller, so belting accentuates my waist and ass (the latter is not a problem for me, I like having a big ass). Also, there are more options for pears, hourglass.
I'm sort of hourglass/pear as well. I have a very short torso, compared to the rest of my body. In general, I prefer to try to lengthen out through my mid-section, and belts cut me in strange ways.
But the bigger problem is wear to place it. If it's too high, where my narrow part is, I look pregnant. I mean, my boobs look amazing, but I seriously look pregnant. Or I look like someone cut my stomach out, and its just two boobs sitting on top of two legs.
If it's too low, I wind up with a tent above the belt and my boobs and waist are completely lost, and the belt is strapped across my tummy, which just is not flattering.
You do now want to know how many hours I've spent reading about belts for various body types and where to place them, and I've never been successful.
My husband is very good about telling me I look great, but any time I have ever tried a belt, his reaction is, "something doesn't look right."
It's not an issue of not wanting to make time, it's a repeated feeling that making the time won't help. It's a combination of limited budget (seriously, my wardrobe is significantly smaller than most people's I'd wager) and poor body image. I buy clothes when I have the money and necessity, but other than a few stores at which I know I can usually find something, I simply have no idea where to shop--or, maybe they have great clothes, but there's no sale when I'm going.
I think this is where I'll say again that we as women have to get past the idea that our bodies are the problem, not the clothing item. I think this is a huge part of why plus sized women differ from smaller sized women. It is hard not to get discouraged at a body if you're not happy with it. I think that most smaller sized women will try a piece on after loving it on the hanger. They put it on and hate it. I don't think their mind goes directly to "my body is the problem". It was the dress/skirt/whatever that looks like shit. Not them.
I've been there where I think that it's me because it was too tight or too small, or my hips were too much for the look. I put the piece back and keep going until I find the piece that makes me forget about that one. One that makes me feel amazing. Getting to a point where you love your body image despite the size will make shopping funner and easier.
If you've gone through this cycle that you're talking about, money but no time, time but not the right stores. I would look at some Pinterest images, and click the links if they have them. Maybe find some plus sized bloggers and check out their frequently shopped stores. Sign up for the email promos in a junk email account for those stores and keep an eye out for sales. That is what I do. I hate paying full price. HATE it. lol.
Smo, I completely agree with you.
But I think when you have to go to five stores to even find one item to try on, when that item does not fit, it's hard to blame the item and keep looking, because there's nowhere else to look.
Now admittedly the experience I described above was a unique one given my split size issue and the fact that it was a suit, which is where split sizing is really a huge pain in the ass, but I do think that in general, a huge part of the reason why plus size women tend to blame their bodies and not the clothes is simply because the selection just is not there.
If I could grab 10 really cute blouses off a rack and a few didn't fit, then it's the clothes, not me. And if i can walk to three more stores in that very mall and find dozens and dozens more shirts, then again, it's the clothes, not me.
But if I'm looking at a sea of sadness, and find two items that I love, and neither fit, then it's a lot harder not to internalize it when your option for finding something is to get in the car, drive another 45 minutes, and hope that *maybe* something will be there.
In other words, the mindset isn't just borne out of insecurity. It comes from the reality of the choices before you when you are bigger.
Post by LoveTrains on Aug 22, 2014 18:04:04 GMT -5
Shopping is hard. I will go and try on 20 dresses and only one will look good enough to show anyone.
Also 3/4 sleeves are the best thing ever. I love them so much. I am also very short and it's hard to find things for short fatties. I'm an 18 or a 20 and only 5'0".