But I think when you have to go to five stores to even find one item to try on, when that item does not fit, it's hard to blame the item and keep looking, because there's nowhere else to look.
Now admittedly the experience I described above was a unique one given my split size issue and the fact that it was a suit, which is where split sizing is really a huge pain in the ass, but I do think that in general, a huge part of the reason why plus size women tend to blame their bodies and not the clothes is simply because the selection just is not there.
If I could grab 10 really cute blouses off a rack and a few didn't fit, then it's the clothes, not me. And if i can walk to three more stores in that very mall and find dozens and dozens more shirts, then again, it's the clothes, not me.
But if I'm looking at a sea of sadness, and find two items that I love, and neither fit, then it's a lot harder not to internalize it when your option for finding something is to get in the car, drive another 45 minutes, and hope that *maybe* something will be there.
In other words, the mindset isn't just borne out of insecurity. It comes from the reality of the choices before you when you are bigger.
I agree and understand the limited choices and the link to insecurity. I think that happens more when you're shopping for a particular or specific item. If you're looking for a dress to wear to a wedding, and everything comes up horrible or just a bit tight here, or the last in your size but with a stain, it sucks.
However, as far as regular wardrobe, and daily wear (outside of suiting, see post above, lol) I fully believe that it isn't completely impossible to find and build a great (I do mean great) wardrobe in your size well into the 20s sizes. Building a wardrobe is a process and it takes time. Buying versatile standard pieces is where I'd start.
@majorwife and I exchanged some messages and she shared a picture of her shape. I searched online for affordable clothing that was accessible for her. Within the evening, she had a few outfit choices and ideas that she could run with. I did that from looking online.
I'm happy to do that for others if they'd like me to. Disclaimer that it might not be a right away turn over, especially during school, but I'm happy to help where I can.
(heart)
I need a dress for a wedding in October -- I may take you up on that, because I just know I'm not going to find what I want in stores.
But I think when you have to go to five stores to even find one item to try on, when that item does not fit, it's hard to blame the item and keep looking, because there's nowhere else to look.
Now admittedly the experience I described above was a unique one given my split size issue and the fact that it was a suit, which is where split sizing is really a huge pain in the ass, but I do think that in general, a huge part of the reason why plus size women tend to blame their bodies and not the clothes is simply because the selection just is not there.
If I could grab 10 really cute blouses off a rack and a few didn't fit, then it's the clothes, not me. And if i can walk to three more stores in that very mall and find dozens and dozens more shirts, then again, it's the clothes, not me.
But if I'm looking at a sea of sadness, and find two items that I love, and neither fit, then it's a lot harder not to internalize it when your option for finding something is to get in the car, drive another 45 minutes, and hope that *maybe* something will be there.
In other words, the mindset isn't just borne out of insecurity. It comes from the reality of the choices before you when you are bigger.
I agree and understand the limited choices and the link to insecurity. I think that happens more when you're shopping for a particular or specific item. If you're looking for a dress to wear to a wedding, and everything comes up horrible or just a bit tight here, or the last in your size but with a stain, it sucks.
However, as far as regular wardrobe, and daily wear (outside of suiting, see post above, lol) I fully believe that it isn't completely impossible to find and build a great (I do mean great) wardrobe in your size well into the 20s sizes. Building a wardrobe is a process and it takes time. Buying versatile standard pieces is where I'd start.
@majorwife and I exchanged some messages and she shared a picture of her shape. I searched online for affordable clothing that was accessible for her. Within the evening, she had a few outfit choices and ideas that she could run with. I did that from looking online.
I'm happy to do that for others if they'd like me to. Disclaimer that it might not be a right away turn over, especially during school, but I'm happy to help where I can.
Do you know of inexpensive places that have decent plus size clothing?
But I think when you have to go to five stores to even find one item to try on, when that item does not fit, it's hard to blame the item and keep looking, because there's nowhere else to look.
Now admittedly the experience I described above was a unique one given my split size issue and the fact that it was a suit, which is where split sizing is really a huge pain in the ass, but I do think that in general, a huge part of the reason why plus size women tend to blame their bodies and not the clothes is simply because the selection just is not there.
If I could grab 10 really cute blouses off a rack and a few didn't fit, then it's the clothes, not me. And if i can walk to three more stores in that very mall and find dozens and dozens more shirts, then again, it's the clothes, not me.
But if I'm looking at a sea of sadness, and find two items that I love, and neither fit, then it's a lot harder not to internalize it when your option for finding something is to get in the car, drive another 45 minutes, and hope that *maybe* something will be there.
In other words, the mindset isn't just borne out of insecurity. It comes from the reality of the choices before you when you are bigger.
I agree and understand the limited choices and the link to insecurity. I think that happens more when you're shopping for a particular or specific item. If you're looking for a dress to wear to a wedding, and everything comes up horrible or just a bit tight here, or the last in your size but with a stain, it sucks.
However, as far as regular wardrobe, and daily wear (outside of suiting, see post above, lol) I fully believe that it isn't completely impossible to find and build a great (I do mean great) wardrobe in your size well into the 20s sizes. Building a wardrobe is a process and it takes time. Buying versatile standard pieces is where I'd start.
@majorwife and I exchanged some messages and she shared a picture of her shape. I searched online for affordable clothing that was accessible for her. Within the evening, she had a few outfit choices and ideas that she could run with. I did that from looking online.
I'm happy to do that for others if they'd like me to. Disclaimer that it might not be a right away turn over, especially during school, but I'm happy to help where I can.
I'm going to vouch for Smo on this. She found some GREAT stuff for me when I asked her to do this for me.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
You know I think it's hard not to see our own little spots and let them become the focus. I don't like my belly. I feel like it's always there. It takes serious effort for me to look at the overall picture so decide if I look good as a whole.
Because, really, that's the best I can do. I can dress in a way that's more flattering, sure. But will the belly go away? No. This is what size I am.
But that's far easier said than done. At some point though, you have to just do it. You have to just say, hey, this doesn't look bad and so I look a little wide, I am a little wide. So I look a little busty, I am a little busty.
You also have to listen to the people around you. If people say you look great in that dress, then you need to accept that you look great in that dress, even if all you see is a belly, or a wide shape, or whatever it is about that dress that keeps you from loving it.
Also, can I take a moment to yell at pescalita for a moment? Because, woman, allow me to tell you something right quick. I see your pictures across my FB feed pretty damned often and every time I think, damn, that woman is so pretty! And she looks so happy. That's the first thing I notice about you. I don't think I've ever seen a pic of you and though, fuck, why is she wearing that?
And one more point, I think most women really have to let go of what they like. I know there are a lot of things in my closet that quite honestly, aren't my picks. They aren't clothes that I love. But they are clothes that look really good on me and that's more valuable to me than whether it's my favorite color or whether it's a trend I'm really in love with.
Some of the cutest things in the world are not for my person and some the most boring dresses and tops just look really good on me.
I mean hell, I don't even like the majority of features on my wedding dress. Pick up skirts are the devil and so is strapless. But when I put that bad boy on, my person looks fabulous. So I bought it.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
But I think when you have to go to five stores to even find one item to try on, when that item does not fit, it's hard to blame the item and keep looking, because there's nowhere else to look.
Now admittedly the experience I described above was a unique one given my split size issue and the fact that it was a suit, which is where split sizing is really a huge pain in the ass, but I do think that in general, a huge part of the reason why plus size women tend to blame their bodies and not the clothes is simply because the selection just is not there.
If I could grab 10 really cute blouses off a rack and a few didn't fit, then it's the clothes, not me. And if i can walk to three more stores in that very mall and find dozens and dozens more shirts, then again, it's the clothes, not me.
But if I'm looking at a sea of sadness, and find two items that I love, and neither fit, then it's a lot harder not to internalize it when your option for finding something is to get in the car, drive another 45 minutes, and hope that *maybe* something will be there.
In other words, the mindset isn't just borne out of insecurity. It comes from the reality of the choices before you when you are bigger.
I agree and understand the limited choices and the link to insecurity. I think that happens more when you're shopping for a particular or specific item. If you're looking for a dress to wear to a wedding, and everything comes up horrible or just a bit tight here, or the last in your size but with a stain, it sucks.
However, as far as regular wardrobe, and daily wear (outside of suiting, see post above, lol) I fully believe that it isn't completely impossible to find and build a great (I do mean great) wardrobe in your size well into the 20s sizes. Building a wardrobe is a process and it takes time. Buying versatile standard pieces is where I'd start.
@majorwife and I exchanged some messages and she shared a picture of her shape. I searched online for affordable clothing that was accessible for her. Within the evening, she had a few outfit choices and ideas that she could run with. I did that from looking online.
I'm happy to do that for others if they'd like me to. Disclaimer that it might not be a right away turn over, especially during school, but I'm happy to help where I can.
I agree and understand the limited choices and the link to insecurity. I think that happens more when you're shopping for a particular or specific item. If you're looking for a dress to wear to a wedding, and everything comes up horrible or just a bit tight here, or the last in your size but with a stain, it sucks.
However, as far as regular wardrobe, and daily wear (outside of suiting, see post above, lol) I fully believe that it isn't completely impossible to find and build a great (I do mean great) wardrobe in your size well into the 20s sizes. Building a wardrobe is a process and it takes time. Buying versatile standard pieces is where I'd start.
@majorwife and I exchanged some messages and she shared a picture of her shape. I searched online for affordable clothing that was accessible for her. Within the evening, she had a few outfit choices and ideas that she could run with. I did that from looking online.
I'm happy to do that for others if they'd like me to. Disclaimer that it might not be a right away turn over, especially during school, but I'm happy to help where I can.
You could sell this. Seriously.
I was thinking the same thing. I smell a new business venture.
Also, can I take a moment to yell at pescalita for a moment? Because, woman, allow me to tell you something right quick. I see your pictures across my FB feed pretty damned often and every time I think, damn, that woman is so pretty! And she looks so happy. That's the first thing I notice about you. I don't think I've ever seen a pic of you and though, fuck, why is she wearing that?
So there you go.
This is truth. Pesca has the most beautiful smile that lights up her whole face. It makes her gorgeous.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
Also, can I take a moment to yell at pescalita for a moment? Because, woman, allow me to tell you something right quick. I see your pictures across my FB feed pretty damned often and every time I think, damn, that woman is so pretty! And she looks so happy. That's the first thing I notice about you. I don't think I've ever seen a pic of you and though, fuck, why is she wearing that?
Also, can I take a moment to yell at pescalita for a moment? Because, woman, allow me to tell you something right quick. I see your pictures across my FB feed pretty damned often and every time I think, damn, that woman is so pretty! And she looks so happy. That's the first thing I notice about you. I don't think I've ever seen a pic of you and though, fuck, why is she wearing that?
So there you go.
This is truth. Pesca has the most beautiful smile that lights up her whole face. It makes her gorgeous.
And she wears those cute little dresses and cardis. Even in tees and sweatshirts or whatever, she doesn't look sclumpy so I need her to just be happy in her person. Lord knows Carl is lolol
Both stores have plus sized sections and both carry similar stuff in plus size that they do in misses. Cato also has a ton of accessories like jewelry and shoes. Maurice's has some but not a lot.
This is truth. Pesca has the most beautiful smile that lights up her whole face. It makes her gorgeous.
And she wears those cute little dresses and cardis. Even in tees and sweatshirts or whatever, she doesn't look sclumpy so I need her to just be happy in her person. Lord knows Carl is lolol
Okay, you guys are making me blush and too true, lol. I really have come a loooong way in the last few years, esp re: my actually appearance and body. I do appreciate the comments on my style because I still feel the way omgzombies and wawa were talking about in the fashion thread about feeling like an imposter trying to be a girl. But I'm getting there.
I think a combination of factors influences consumers in the plus-size segment. Until my mom discovered Lands' End she pretty much gave up on petite-plus clothing. Plus size clothing also tends to be more expensive than their regular-size versions, which I think is unfair and further alienates consumers. I don't think that stylish plus-size clothing is well-advertised, so the idea of shopping is discouraging when it seems there are limited options.
Talbot also carries a Womens Petite line that starts at a 12W- it's a great option for basics for women who are thick through the waist/belly.
I went in Maurice's the other day. They didn't have anything that wowed me, but I'll definitely keep stopping by occasionally to see what they stock.
I go to Avenue occasionally as well and I like buying underwear and tights there, but a lot of the fabrics are cheaper and I don't love that. I think Talbot's has spoiled me.
They seem to turn over almost all of their stock pretty often. Sometimes I go in and don't see a single thing I want and other times I want to buy everything!
This thread is inspiring. I think I'm going to make some changes. @majorwife , any interest in sharing the ideas sent to you? I carry a lot of my weight in my gut too, though I am a size - 2 sizes bigger than you.
My problem w plus size clothes : - i dont want f*cking glitter on my shirt i am a grown a$$ woman! - in the winter i want a long sleeve not half a sleeve - i dont need paterns or words on tge front of my damn shirt.
Sent from my SM-N900V using proboards
QFT.
Also, I want pants that go ALL THE WAY DOWN. For some reason, clothing manufacturers seem to think that if you're over a size 16, you CLEARLY HAVE NO NEED FOR FULL LENGTH PANTS. It's like every pair of pants on the rack is a capri.
And if we could have some pants that don't taper at the ankle, that would be nice, too... because I was taught that the best look FOR ME is to have pants that are wider (or the same) at the cuff than at the knee.
You just need really short legs. I have several pairs of Capri pants that are too long as regular pants.
Also, I want pants that go ALL THE WAY DOWN. For some reason, clothing manufacturers seem to think that if you're over a size 16, you CLEARLY HAVE NO NEED FOR FULL LENGTH PANTS. It's like every pair of pants on the rack is a capri.
And if we could have some pants that don't taper at the ankle, that would be nice, too... because I was taught that the best look FOR ME is to have pants that are wider (or the same) at the cuff than at the knee.
You just need really short legs. I have several pairs of Capri pants that are too long as regular pants.
Haha. And I buy regular pants so I can have capris.
Also I am fat and vain. So on one hand I am like ewwwwww I hate being fat and on the other hand I'm like I stay cute with mine and anybody who finds my fat body offensive can look the fuck away.
I am really working on getting to this. And like @smo said, a huge part of it is finding stuff that fits. But then, as ESF said, that requires so much effort. (And I am nothing if not lazy.)
But I am working on playing up my features, like you talked about. It's not the biggest, but I do have a nice rack. So I push those bitches UP in my swimsuit. LOL.
Post by lasagnasshole on Aug 23, 2014 9:10:33 GMT -5
So on this topic, I REALLY want this lace dress for a fall wedding we're going to.
Alas, I really have no business spending $218 on a dress when I already look bangin' in this black dress that I've only worn 3 times. (Seriously, I think it looks boring on the model, but it looks haaawwwwt on me.) Plus, Talbots dresses almost require alterations for me because their sizing assumes a more hourglass shape, so it would probably wind up approaching $300 after alterations.
But that color just screams fall. And it would look amazing with my reddish brown hair. So somebody please buy that and wear it to something nice this fall, mmmkay? Do it for lasagna!
Post by cookiemdough on Aug 23, 2014 12:24:31 GMT -5
So old navy is having a sale on jeans. $19 for adults and $10 for kids. I purchased a pair of the Sweetheart boot cut jeans that are made for curvy figures. Surprisingly they fit really well (aka I can wear then without a belt!). I saw sizes up to 20. The sale goes through Sunday I believe.
So old navy is having a sale on jeans. $19 for adults and $10 for kids. I purchased a pair of the Sweetheart boot cut jeans that are made for curvy figures. Surprisingly they fit really well (aka I can wear then without a belt!). I saw sizes up to 20. The sale goes through Sunday I believe.
Sorry i am reviving this thread...what are these women and all you wome wearing under their clothes? I have back fat and love handles and i never see anything but smoothness on the plus sized bloggers etc
I think severe enough shapers would do it. I personally have lumps.