The shaming around supposedly "juvenile" handjobs that shows up now and again on here always, always amuses me. I remember years ago when someone (Immm? Lovedan?) was like "omigah, handjobs are SO elementary school!! Ew!" and an hour or so of mirth ensued.
You want to go all out with sex furniture, a unicorn, and an assortment of cockrings or you want to have a quick handjob in the back of a Buick, I don't care. Whatever floats your boat, man.
MANY HJs were given in the back of this beaut - which my BIL drove until about a year ago lol:
Mr. Wambam was so very cool in HS.
I read this as "Many HJs were given in the back of this beaut WHILE my BIL drove until about a year ago". You can imagine my expression.
I gave a handy last night. And I let him figure out jizz relocation and removal.
Some people pee in pools, others leave their shoes on indoors. Me? I don't swallow or spit.
I spit as my wedding gift to the husband. No joke. Then informed him this would not be happening again until our fifth anniversary. He may or may not be keeping a countdown.
I spit as my wedding gift to the husband. No joke. Then informed him this would not be happening again until our fifth anniversary. He may or may not be keeping a countdown.
Maybe give him a bidet that year too?
And the fifth anniversary gift is...hiney cleaner! This is a solid plan :-)
One time I tried giving H a HJ in the shower, but it turns out it's really hard to do when you're both standing up and looking at each other. He was like "what are you doing, grinding pepper? You need me to help you with that?"
One time I was giving my h a hand job and I was just off in la la land, so I guess my grip was a little tight. He was like "uh, can you ease up? You're not churning butter".
One time I tried giving H a HJ in the shower, but it turns out it's really hard to do when you're both standing up and looking at each other. He was like "what are you doing, grinding pepper? You need me to help you with that?"
Legit LOL.
Sex in the shower in the movies always looks so hot. In reality, it's way more awkward than hot. At least, in my experience.
One time I tried giving H a HJ in the shower, but it turns out it's really hard to do when you're both standing up and looking at each other. He was like "what are you doing, grinding pepper? You need me to help you with that?"
Legit LOL.
Sex in the shower in the movies always looks so hot. In reality, it's way more awkward than hot. At least, in my experience.
Lol, exactly. My h always tries to lift me up and I'm flailing around like "NOT GOING TO WORK! IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!!"
There's no way my H could lift me up long enough for a successful shower sex ending. I think the only way would be to sit on the floor...which does not exactly appeal to me. Whatsoever.
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
Ok, now, this intrigues me because, ok, so...where did it GO? Did he get on the plane with jizzy pants? Did you have a Kleenex ready?
I was going to add to my last post that the exception would be if you were at a table and couldn't get down there for the BJ.
ETA: I hope my questions aren't read as judgy, I'm honestly curious about the logistics of this.
I can't answer this, I'm a lady.
I actually swooped in (like a Swallow ha) for the finish. This is a small town, I couldn't risk being down for longer than that. Plus we had stuff to talk about, I needed my mouth. We've been together for almost 20 years, sometimes there just isn't room for romance.
Two of my coworkers (both in their 40s at the time) happened to go on a few online dates with each other a few years ago (only one of them worked at the firm at the time -- later they ended up becoming coworkers). The guy was stupid enough to confess this to one of our coworkers, and he revealed that he ended up getting a handjob from his date (now coworker). Which of course got spread around the firm. We now call the woman "Fists of Fury."
BUT REALLY, WHAT 40-SOMETHING YEAR OLD IS GIVING HANDJOBS TO PEOPLE???
Says the woman doing extracurricular activities....
If by "extracurricular activities" you mean anything remotely sexual, that was an ML fabrication and not, you know, what actually happened. People don't realize that?
Says the woman doing extracurricular activities....
If by "extracurricular activities" you mean anything remotely sexual, that was an ML fabrication and not, you know, what actually happened. People don't realize that?
Well, wait, you said he was "handsy" and said it was too bad you were married because he'd like to fuck you. Rather than leave, you stayed and did coke with him.
Although ML has vilified you through the telephone game, I think most people would be uncomfortable with their spouse willingly putting themselves in this spot, no?
If by "extracurricular activities" you mean anything remotely sexual, that was an ML fabrication and not, you know, what actually happened. People don't realize that?
Still. I'm sure we can come up with a great nickname for you based on it.
If by "extracurricular activities" you mean anything remotely sexual, that was an ML fabrication and not, you know, what actually happened. People don't realize that?
Everybody knows you can't BLOW coke off of a penis!
Sure you can! It's almost as fun as setting $100 bills on fire.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
If by "extracurricular activities" you mean anything remotely sexual, that was an ML fabrication and not, you know, what actually happened. People don't realize that?
Well, wait, you said he was "handsy" and said it was too bad you were married because he'd like to fuck you. Rather than leave, you stayed and did coke with him.
Although ML has vilified you through the telephone game, I think most people would be uncomfortable with their spouse willingly putting themselves in this spot, no?
Says the woman doing extracurricular activities....
If by "extracurricular activities" you mean anything remotely sexual, that was an ML fabrication and not, you know, what actually happened. People don't realize that?
Don't you realize this is exactly what happens when things are deleted?
I'm pretty sure this is what you will be known for forever here.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Well, wait, you said he was "handsy" and said it was too bad you were married because he'd like to fuck you. Rather than leave, you stayed and did coke with him.
Although ML has vilified you through the telephone game, I think most people would be uncomfortable with their spouse willingly putting themselves in this spot, no?
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg