I like my job, but I'm feeling like I'm neglecting it lately. In general it has good flexibility.
However, as I look at my schedule the next few days I get overwhelmed.
Today-DH took SD to school, but he's going directly to airport. he'll be out of town until Friday night. I have a lunch meeting at 11:30, I need to pick up SD's meds from her stepfather's office. in town. 2:00 DS2 has a school play back to the burbs 3:10 pick up SD from school--she's going to stay until 4-4:15. in town 3:30 pick up DS1 from school (in burbs) then drive to pick up SD at school.
Tomorrow Leave house at 6:45 to drop SD off at school 7:30. Turn around and drop DS1 off at school at 8:15 Drop DS2 & DS3 off at school 8:30 Get home by 9am and work Leave at 2:15 to pick SD up at school at 3:10 Fly down the highway at 80mph to get back to meet DS1 from bus at 3:45 Drop SD to watch DS1 at home. Pick up DS2& DS3 from School
Friday Morning same as Thursday. Leave work at 1:30 to pick SD at school and take her to therapy. 3pm therapist appt. Leave her there, Rush to get DS1 from school 3:35 turn around and pick up SD at Dr. appt by 4pm Pick up DS2&3 from school Make dinner Take SD to recital.
How many hours a week do you usually need to work?
Do you have any friends or neighbors that you could set up car pools with? My parents only drove us to school 1-2 times/week and we rotated with neighbors.
How many hours a week do you usually need to work?
Do you have any friends or neighbors that you could set up car pools with? My parents only drove us to school 1-2 times/week and we rotated with neighbors.
She is going to a school in a different zone where her mother lives so there is no one in our hood who goes to SD's school. She can't get her license for another 7 mos at the earliest, and I'm not to keen on putting her on the highway during rush hour.
Post by yellowbrkrd on May 16, 2012 7:50:16 GMT -5
Didn't you have a nanny at one point? I'm assuming you no longer do based on this post. If you enjoy your job maybe you can hire someone to do the running around with the kids.
It really depends on you. Do you want to quit? Do you like the sense of identity that working gives people? Can you hire more help or carpool with others? Will you miss any of thebenefits you might get at work (such as a 401k match)?
How many hours a week do you usually need to work?
Do you have any friends or neighbors that you could set up car pools with? My parents only drove us to school 1-2 times/week and we rotated with neighbors.
She is going to a school in a different zone where her mother lives so there is no one in our hood who goes to SD's school. She can't get her license for another 7 mos at the earliest, and I'm not to keen on putting her on the highway during rush hour.
Didn't you have a nanny at one point? I'm assuming you no longer do based on this post. If you enjoy your job maybe you can hire someone to do the running around with the kids.
This also seems like a good idea.
The idea of quitting a job (assuming it was one that was enjoyed and somewhat fulfilling) to drive 4 kids around in the car seems insane to me.
I do think being able to attend things like school plays is important but not necessarily doing 4 rounds of pick up and drop off yourself.
Post by mountainlove on May 16, 2012 7:52:02 GMT -5
It sounds like your afternoons are really cramped. Does DH help with the drop offs in the am? Does your job pay enough to make it worthwhile? Would you be able to do all you are without your income?
I'm debating the same. However, for me it is because my job is a waste of time that pays well and has great benefits. We're still paying spousal support, too, which actually will stop in another 2 years. My salary FINALLY is more than spousal support, which is a good thing.
After the kids are out of daycare, into school, I have the option of changing my hours. I might just quit, because we won't be paying spousal support, daycare or other stuff. And I can be home when the kids come home from school.
Post by barefootcontessa on May 16, 2012 7:56:49 GMT -5
Will your stepdaughter graduate soon? When will the younger ones be at the same school? I imagine things will get less hectic at some point. My DH has a demanding job and it is not worth the stress to me to have to report to someone else and manage the house/kids. I do consult, but I only take on a certain number of projects and for the most part it is on my time schedule.
DH's job has been crazy busy so he's only much help on Tuesdays because I stoooopidly schedule myself in 3 places at one time :-) He's traveling again and generally leaves for work around 6:30 and gets home around 7
I still have my nanny but her car isn't big enough for 3 car seats.
That's the other factor. My nanny is pregnant with #2 and due soon. I doubt she'll come back after she has this baby.
Will your stepdaughter graduate soon? When will the younger ones be at the same school? I imagine things will get less hectic at some point. My DH has a demanding job and it is not worth the stress to me to have to report to someone else and manage the house/kids. I do consult, but I only take on a certain number of projects and for the most part it is on my time schedule.
She has 2 more years of high school. My youngest won't be in the same school as DS1 until 2 years from now.
Interview for a new nanny asap and definitely give the nanny the minivan so she can drive around for you. Once your SD drives herself to school, that is one less stop for you to make during the day.
I wouldn't quit if you don't want to be a taxi driver.
Will your stepdaughter graduate soon? When will the younger ones be at the same school? I imagine things will get less hectic at some point. My DH has a demanding job and it is not worth the stress to me to have to report to someone else and manage the house/kids. I do consult, but I only take on a certain number of projects and for the most part it is on my time schedule.
She has 2 more years of high school. My youngest won't be in the same school as DS1 until 2 years from now.
Bummer. Two years is a long time. I hope you can work something out.
I probably wouldn't quit but I would outsource some of this driving. Not sure how though. My mom sent me to nursery school in a taxi so there's that. :-)
Assuming she's standard age for her grade won't SD drive next year at some point?
I'd look for a new nanny as well with the stipulation they are able to cart kids in their car or work out a way for them to use yours.
She is a rising junior but she doesn't turn 16 until Dec. I'm not comfortable letting her drive on the highway during rush hour to get to school, yet, maybe after she's been driving for a while.
DH's job has been crazy busy so he's only much help on Tuesdays because I stoooopidly schedule myself in 3 places at one time :-) He's traveling again and generally leaves for work around 6:30 and gets home around 7
I still have my nanny but her car isn't big enough for 3 car seats.
That's the other factor. My nanny is pregnant with #2 and due soon. I doubt she'll come back after she has this baby.
Those are very similar to my husband's hours (without the travel) and I assume yours works on the weekends as well... I don't have kids and its tough on us, I can't imagine what its like for you. Something has to give but I am not sure it should be your job. As others have noted, you need to find a way to drive less. How often do you have to drive SD? Can her mom or stepfather take on some of the pick-ups and drop-offs?
DH's job has been crazy busy so he's only much help on Tuesdays because I stoooopidly schedule myself in 3 places at one time :-) He's traveling again and generally leaves for work around 6:30 and gets home around 7
I still have my nanny but her car isn't big enough for 3 car seats.
That's the other factor. My nanny is pregnant with #2 and due soon. I doubt she'll come back after she has this baby.
Those are very similar to my husband's hours (without the travel) and I assume yours works on the weekends as well... I don't have kids and its tough on us, I can't imagine what its like for you. Something has to give but I am not sure it should be your job. As others have noted, you need to find a way to drive less. How often do you have to drive SD? Can her mom or stepfather take on some of the pick-ups and drop-offs?
things aren't good with her mother right now so I'm not sure how long she's with us. School ends next week which makes things a bit easier, but I worry about what happens in the fall if she is still with us this much. Even if we go back to every other week, it is rough and this isn't just SD. Even with out her 3 boys is a lot to juggle.
Knowing what I know about you, I think you have options. If you want to quit and do all of this yourself, then go ahead. You can certainly afford it, right?
If you don't want to quit, hire a new nanny and provide her with a car that will hold all of the car seats. You will still probably end up doing some of the rides so that no one is breaking laws to get your kids where they need to be, but it will definitely ease your load. Or try to find another two part-time nanny situation like you had before, and have them overlap from 1 - 4 since those seem to be the busy hours.
I think it depends on how much you like working or need to work to feel fulfilled and whether your income is needed. If you don't need the money and don't particularly like your job or would be just as happy not working, I think it makes sense to quit. If you want or need to keep working, hire some more help.
Working or not, you have a lot of kids who need to be different places at different times. That's not going to change anytime soon.
If anything, I'd be inclined to work more hours to pay for someone else to schlep the kids around, since it sounds like you really hate that part of it.
You've been fighting the work vs SAH debate in your head since I've been around. I'm sure it's because you see advantages to both. Maybe you just haven't found the right job yet...
Post by heightsyankee on May 16, 2012 11:24:51 GMT -5
I'd quit. There is the taxi aspect, but that is a part of life with a family. One thing I looked at before I left my job is how much would really be left over by the time I paid for the kind of childcare it required? While I enjoyed the aspect of working and getting paid, there wasn't enough left over to make that plus the stress of the schedule to make it worth it.