Post by badtzmaru22 on Jan 26, 2015 7:10:15 GMT -5
My MIL seemed personally offended that DD isn't into Frozen. She is almost three, and we actually have tried to watch the movie once, but I was massively pregnant and fell asleep, and DD did not care at all, and walked away. She knows who Anna and Elsa are from her BFF at daycare, but she's not one of those kids on YouTube singing "Let it go". Oh well. This is totally not a statement about screen time either. DD gets tons. She just doesn't care about Frozen.
All weekend when MIL was here, it was this annoying baby voice harping, "We need to get you into Frozen! All the kids like Frozen!"
Her insistence that she be called Nana even though she will likely be a stranger to DS. It's forced familiarity.
YES on the forced familiarity. MIL keeps trying to force these dumb nicknames for her and FIL on DD to somehow prove they are better than my parents, who are fine with being grandma and grandpa.
Whenever I breastfed him or even the topic of breastfeeding came up, she'd caress her own boob and say something to the effect of "it's soooooo intimate".
Her insistence that she be called Nana even though she will likely be a stranger to DS. It's forced familiarity.
Ew. My MIL did this as well. She even bought herself a "world's greatest nana" sweatshirt. Ok, lady, whatever. I'm secretly hoping he calls her "Grossmutter" when we do have to see them.
My Mom bought the same shirt - 'Worlds Best Nana' and wore it to the hospital when DS was born. She had it on during my C-section before he was even born.
She doesn't hold him, interact with him, or really, see him ever. But she's got the shirt, so it MUST be true!
My MIL drives me crazy for a multitude of reasons, this is one of the minor/dumb ones.
When she sings Pat-a-Cake, she says 'Mark it with a T, put it in the oven for S and Memere' Um, I think you want to mark it with a B for baby. Or S for Sam. Or M for Memere. Really, you have your choice of letters, but T is not one of them.
My mom calls all diapers Pampers. Even when they're Huggies. And she insists every time his hands are cold that his "pamper" is wet. Even if there's a reasonable explanation.
All very minor points in my book considering she watches him during the work week for free.
There is a nurse at our pedis office that does this. "Take off her pamper so we can weigh her!" So weird. I had no idea it was a thing.
Whenever I breastfed him or even the topic of breastfeeding came up, she'd caress her own boob and say something to the effect of "it's soooooo intimate".
Ew. My MIL did this as well. She even bought herself a "world's greatest nana" sweatshirt. Ok, lady, whatever. I'm secretly hoping he calls her "Grossmutter" when we do have to see them.
My Mom bought the same shirt - 'Worlds Best Nana' and wore it to the hospital when DS was born. She had it on during my C-section before he was even born.
She doesn't hold him, interact with him, or really, see him ever. But she's got the shirt, so it MUST be true!
MIL is the same- we live a half hour away from them and she and FIL have never made any effort to see him, haven't ever asked how he's doing. But she'll bitch and moan to anyone who listens that she never gets to see her graaaaaandbabyyyyyy.
I don't think she'll ever get out of BEC territory with me, and H for that matter.
My MIL rarely interacts with E. Usually when they visit for a hour to check us off their "grandparents" box, she just asks us a barrage of questions like we're having an interview at the pedi for milestones. What is she doing now? Does she like X?
Yesterday, perfect example. E wanted someone to read her a book. She came to me, but I asked to ask MIL or her husband. Perfect opportunity for MIL to read to her right? Nope, pawned her off onto her husband to read.
My sister talks to E in a baby voice and I have asked 100000000000x not to do it.
I would take pants talk over britches any day. If I hear "do you need your britches changed?" one more time I might punch her.
I also hate that I repeatedly try to schedule things by emailing our schedule. To which she will call me and I have to repeat that my calendar is on my phone and I can't look at it while talking to her. She tries to rattle off dates even if I'm in the middle of something or no where near a pen.
Post by catsarecute on Jan 26, 2015 8:07:27 GMT -5
My MIL is amazing but never takes initiative to see DD. I think in her 9.5 months of life, she has called twice asking to swing by and see her. She knows DH is working every day for long hours and I'm probably wanting a small break or something on weekends but she doesn't reach out to me at all. They are very passive and major homebodies but damn. Her only grandchild lives 20 minutes away and she sees her once a month because I arrange a get together. Then when she does come over she says "I haven't seen you in so long!" PICK UP THE PHONE!
Post by changedname on Jan 26, 2015 8:11:55 GMT -5
Not my mil. My aunt looked after DD when I was away last week:
She wont use boogie wipes because DD doesn't like them so she let her go around with a snotty nose all week.
We should let DD (11 months) sleep on our chests because the crib is too uncomfortable
Its way too cold in our house (its set to 24c) and that's why DD wakes up motn (not her loud skyping in the room next to DD)
DD keeps getting colds because we let her have a roll on the bed naked after bath time.
She also refused to give her any of the food I spent hours prepping because "she will choke". She refused to give DD Advil pr Tylenol because they are bad for her.
She doesn't say "do you need your diaper changed" she says "do you need your pants changed? Are your pants wet?" She says this at least 5 times/visit. They're not pants!!!!!
FWIW I think this is a generational thing. My mom also calls them "pants", not diapers. I think it's leftover from my mom using cloth diapers with plastic diaper pants over them with my sister and I. Hence, "changing pants."
Post by humpforfree on Jan 26, 2015 8:26:06 GMT -5
She just acts so entitled with him. She grabs him out of my arms when we walk through he door, at Easter she took him and then introduced him to the whole family... Ever think that maybe I wanted to be the one to introduce the baby to the family? She gives him all sorts of food or whatever without asking (like super processed/aspartame stuff that I would not give him). She complains about not seeing him a lot, but when when i do ask, she tries to peace out asap and then they complain about how exhausting it is. Also, she changes his diaper like every 5 seconds.
Her insistence that she be called Nana even though she will likely be a stranger to DS. It's forced familiarity.
Exactly this. DH's stepmother is a horrible witch of a woman, like legitimately she's just a terrible human being. I know that's so mean to say, but it's true. Thank god she lives 5 states away. But she insists on being "Nana" and is upset when DS skypes with her (like 3x a YEAR) and doesn't "call her nana." That's because you're a STRANGER, lady.
MIL stays over my house one night a week to watch DD the next day. You would think I am living the life, lol. She brings her own sheets and towels. I take this as a comment on my housekeeping. DH swore for years whatever she did was to be helpful, not a dig at me. As of last week, she bought a 2nd and 3rd set of the sheets I put on the bed for her (I have different ones for when my mom stays 2 nights/week so I always know which are clean for which person), takes them home to wash in her own washer, and will bring them back every week. So my washer isn't even good enough for her. DH is just now starting to see why I am BEC with her. Despite the fact that I stock up on Coke (all she drinks, besides coffee) and snacks for her, and usually have leftovers from dinner, she brings her own drinks, breakfast, lunch, snacks, etc. and totes them back and forth each week. She calls every one of DD's outfits a costume. It's not a COSTUME, it's not Halloween, it's just an outfit. Gahh!!!! When she arrives, it takes her at least a half hour to get her bags upstairs, her food in the fridge, etc. This is usually around the time I am trying to get dinner cooked, DH isn't home yet, and I've been with the baby for anywhere from 9-12 hours at that point. I just want to hand her off to someone, but I have to wait for her to do whatever the hell she does. She kept asking DH about a TV for our guest room bc she didn't want to "keep watching TV on the iPad". He finally bought one, and a Roku so she can watch the same damn thing, but on a bigger screen. Well, maybe if she kept me/DH company instead of retreating to her bedroom at 8:00, she'd be able to watch "real" television. Then, once DH got it set up, she said "oh, you didn't have to do that!" DH really gave her the business over that. DH is the better person to calm DD down when she is upset. Yet every time DD makes a peep when FIL holds her he says in a sing-song voice "I think she needs her mooother". Now I always reply "her mother says give her to her faaather" in the same voice. He says "I can't help it, the default is always (emphasis on always) the mother." Well, maybe that's how it was with you and MIL with DH because you were hardly there, but that's not how it works in my house.
Post by timorousbeastie on Jan 26, 2015 8:44:17 GMT -5
MIL always has to talk. She cannot deal with a break in the conversation for even a minute. As a result, she says some of the weirdest things. No matter what story you have, she has the same experience. When I told her DD was a bottle refuser, she told me all about how her daughter never drank from a bottle. Except she didn't breastfeed, either (because she claims it was illegal at the time). Um, I'm pretty sure that unless SIL had an NG tube, that bottle or breast are the only two options, and given how squished out by BF you are I know you didn't do that, so stop telling me she never drank from a bottle!
She says really weird, passive aggressive things to DD, too. When DD was all of 4 months, she said, "your mommy is so mean for not taking you to the beach today!" Except that it was in the 90s. And she was 4 months old. And there were forecasts of severe thunderstorms all day. Oh, and did I forget to mention that we DON'T LIVE ANYWHERE NEAR ANY BEACH!
She hates that I rarely dress DD in super pink, girly clothes, so that is all she will buy her, even if she already has the same outfit in a different color.
She tells DD the most backwards, sexist things. Girls can only watch HGTV, they don't like science (keep in mind that I'm a scientist), only boys like dinosaurs. She thought it was so strange that I bought her the Fisher Price kitchen and the workbench, because clearly "she'll only be interested in one of these!" (She plays with the workbench all the time)
DD was at least 6 months old before MIL stopped crying tears of joy every time she saw her. Actual tears, streaming down her face. Every.single.time.
And so much baby talk. I can't stand the baby talk.
Baby talk. Everything is "milkies" or "bathies" or "walkies".
Whenever I breastfed him or even the topic of breastfeeding came up, she'd caress her own boob and say something to the effect of "it's soooooo intimate".
Constantly asking when we last saw my parents or brother, what we did with them, how long we were together, etc. It's like she's keeping a spreadsheet of who's family gets more time.
My ILs suck bc they don't give a shit about O's schedule. They try to get her to fight naps, etc. it's bizarre. My MIL also does the crazy baby talk thing. They also act like all my ideas are crazy until SIL enacts the same stuff when her kid reaches the age then SIL is a genius.
My mother is just insane, lol. She's weirdly competitive about who has O's attention and thinks I'm mean if I don't placate a tantrum. This probably explains what I'm such a piss ant.
- She leaves out peanuts and peanut butter on the counter when DS comes over. It's fine NOW because at 3 he recognizes it and knows to not touch it, but when he was like 1 it was a big issue. - DS was MSPI and on reflux meds his first year. She accused me of "stigmatizing" him and said " He will never be NORMAL if you don't let him?" THE FUCK? - She gives him gifts that just aren't meant for kids. Like magnets or wierd toys. FIL firmly believes boys should only play with trucks - When DS is rough housing with her ( which she encourages) FIL comes up to him and says " Hey watch out, get your hands off MY WIFE" like as if he was hitting o her at a bar. It is so icky. Also he (FIL) told DS that he had " worn down his welcome" when he ran up to her and hugged her. Ewwwww. We left right after since I didn't want to wear down my welcome. - We were trying to get DS home for his nap yesterday since he missed it the day before and he was a BEAR without it. She deciedes it is the right time to give him ice cream and cookies. So we ended up missing nap time. So I took him to the mall to run off his crazy and she called DH and got all huffy because we " left her house to go to a mall"
Basically she is a bitch whether or not she eats crackers.
Constantly asking when we last saw my parents or brother, what we did with them, how long we were together, etc. It's like she's keeping a spreadsheet of who's family gets more time.
This is how my MIL is, too. Always keeping score. My parents and the ILs live only about 10 minutes from each other, so when we come to visit (we are across the country, so it's rare) she is super territorial. I feel like I need to give her a report of what we do every day - visiting cousins, friends, etc. because otherwise she just assumes that any time we are not with her we are with my parents and she gets very upset and jealous.
She'll even do this with us being far away - when we told them we were expecting she called my mom right after to ask how long my mom had known. (MIL thought we waited much too long to tell her, since we waited until I was 12 weeks.) She has called my mom already asking if my mom knows what baby names we are thinking of since we have been keeping mum on that.
I know that she's just really insecure and I try to keep that in mind when dealing with her. She loves to have a martyr attitude about everything and it drives me up the wall.
Oh and she's already calling me "mama" and the baby isn't even born yet. Of course, she still refers to FIL as "daddy" all the time, so...
-(Tried) to share his milkshake w/ N when N was MPSI -Tries to give him Mt. Dew (!!!) all the time
GMIL INSISTS that N calls her Gigi (but everyone else calls her Nana). But, before N was born, my mom already asked if that could be her grandma name. We explained this to GMIL several times, yet she still insists on calling herself Gigi to N.
She is majorly BEC with me because at 5 days postpartum she showed up at our house, 40 minutes before she said she would, right in the middle of a pumping session (was EP at this time). She saw the bottles on the counter, and said "Oh wow, that's ALL you got?!" DH is still surprised that I didn't haul off and smack her.
MIL has nicknamed DD sugar bear. I have no idea where it came from. She doesn't live close by and has only met her once. Her Christmas presents were even addressed as the nickname rather than DD's real name. This just occurred to me - maybe she hates the name we picked?
My mom thinks she knows everything and can't admit she's wrong. (Overall, she's fabulous and a huge help, but it gets annoying.) Example, on Friday she called me "Both boys have had their measles vaccines, right?" "No, Nathaniel hasn't." "HE NEEDS IT!!!!! Why aren't you vaccinating him?" "Mom, they don't get that one until they are 1 year." "No, they get that one AT BIRTH." "No, in the hospital they only get Hep B." "No, they are supposed to get measles then." "They get the MMR shot at 12 months- measles, mumps, and rubella." "I can't believe you're putting him at risk like that."
OMG that would drive me INSANE. WTF. You clearly know what you're talking about, and she just keeps going?! I would be so annoyed!
- When DS is rough housing with her ( which she encourages) FIL comes up to him and says " Hey watch out, get your hands off MY WIFE" like as if he was hitting o her at a bar. It is so icky. Also he (FIL) told DS that he had " worn down his welcome" when he ran up to her and hugged her. Ewwwww. We left right after since I didn't want to wear down my welcome.
Ummm, is your FIL jealous of your son?!? Açk. Weird & strange on so many levels How does your H deal? *Sorry, I'm a non-mom/ML reg & was just browsing other boards & was entertained by this thread (& reluctantly imagining my future-ha!)
Post by UnderProtest on Jan 26, 2015 10:00:01 GMT -5
My MIL was great when the kids were little, but now she is totally BEC. A small list: - wants to watch my kids only when I'm not there - was harassing me about switching them to a convertible carseat and then to switch them forward facing - is in a competition with my mom/parents about who gets to see my kids more. My parents are both retired and willing to travel. They win, period. - wants to know when I'm going to let them watch tv. The kids don't care, why should I try to force tv on them? - has archaic gender stereotypes that she tries to force on my kids. I don't care if my son wears a hair bow or nail polish. He's 3, get over your issues. - takes over meals if I'm not making something she likes (like deciding to make macaroni salad with the burgers and such we were making because she didn't like any of my sides) - bitches about when we are going to FaceTime her next. Uhhmmm, pretty sure the iPad works both ways.
Oh, I could go on forever. Not sure if any of you remember my houseguest from hell situation a couple months ago. That was all my MIL's doing.
DD definitely has to detox after the ILs visit. They are very up in her business while she plays and while she eats and do a lot for her. They also get her REALLY riled up. On the way to Christmas Eve service they were tickling her and making weird noises and getting her to SCREAM. I about lost it. I finally had to tell them to STFU because my eardrums were about to bust AND we were taking her to a church service where i did not want her all wound up and crazy. Stop overstimulating my kid!
- When DS is rough housing with her ( which she encourages) FIL comes up to him and says " Hey watch out, get your hands off MY WIFE" like as if he was hitting o her at a bar. It is so icky. Also he (FIL) told DS that he had " worn down his welcome" when he ran up to her and hugged her. Ewwwww. We left right after since I didn't want to wear down my welcome.
Ummm, is your FIL jealous of your son?!? Açk. Weird & strange on so many levels How does your H deal? *Sorry, I'm a non-mom/ML reg & was just browsing other boards & was entertained by this thread (& reluctantly imagining my future-ha!)
Yeah, this is the same way he treated H when he was little. He is the most insecure, possesive, bratty man I have ever met. H thinks it's creepy and said something to him, but isn't always right there when he says it to pick up on it.