BEC MIL/family members

[mannah]

My MIL is generally a very nice person who also happens to regularly drive me up the fucking wall. A few examples:

She feeds my baby gross mixtures like peanut butter and eggs. WTF? GAG. I had a serious talk with her after that.

She doesn't say "do you need your diaper changed" she says "do you need your pants changed? Are your pants wet?" She says this at least 5 times/visit. They're not pants!!!!!

She scratches my babies back like she is petting a goddam dog.

However, she loves my baby and does a wonderful job entertaining her which gives me some freedom which I greatly appreciate. Please add yours.

[pugz]

The baby talk, oh how it drives us mad!

[heygrey]

the insistence on "in my day we did..."

[sent]

Going on and on for 5 days in a row that the Exersaucer was potentially such a dangerous toy to contain 9 month DD.

On the 6th day when she said it again, things got ugly. And by things I mean me.   

[heygrey]

Jan 26, 2015 0:20:32 GMT -5 sent said:

Going on and on for 5 days in a row that the Exersaucer was potentially such a dangerous toy to contain 9 month DD.

On the 6th day when she said it again, things got ugly. And by things I mean me.   

my friends and I jokingly call it The Circle of Neglect (used and loved by all), but wtf would be dangerous about it?

[212]

My in-laws questioned how we're going to afford another baby. My older sister asked if it was "planned."

FAMILY.

[cowboyjoe]

Leaving my kid in the pack n play with a blanket after listening to me repeatedly talk about safe sleep.

Someone will never babysit again.

[motzie]

My MIL just does things that don't make any sense, like dressing DD in clothes from the day before, or only half changing her out of her pajamas. She knows I put her in clean clothes every day. She will even pull things out of the dirty basket if she thinks it didn't get dirty enough the day before.

She also micro manages DD when she eats. She's constantly pushing around or touching the food on her plate. Gah, get your hands out of my kids food. She's also pulled food from her mouth when she thought she had too much in there. She's two, she knows how to eat and she's not choking, leave it alone.

[cowboyjoe]

Asking if the baby needs her diaper changed every time she fusses.

This kid lives to sit in her own shit. I would never let her sit in it, but her diaper is never a reason for crying.

And also you SAW me change it less than 20 mins ago and she's been in my arms since. I would know if she needed her diaper changed.

[motzie]

Jan 26, 2015 0:15:31 GMT -5 heygrey said:

the insistence on "in my day we did..."

This is my mom. "I never swaddled any of you" Ok then.

[cowboyjoe]

My mother upon telling her we purchased X containment device. "I don't believe in containing the baby."

Well then. I'm sure having a crawling child underfoot while I cut raw chicken with sharp knives is totally better than 15 minutes of containment.

P.s. I was seriously burned as a child in the kitchen.

[sent]

Jan 26, 2015 0:23:02 GMT -5 heygrey said:

Jan 26, 2015 0:20:32 GMT -5 sent said:

Going on and on for 5 days in a row that the Exersaucer was potentially such a dangerous toy to contain 9 month DD.

On the 6th day when she said it again, things got ugly. And by things I mean me.   

my friends and I jokingly call it The Circle of Neglect (used and loved by all), but wtf would be dangerous about it?

She was sure DD would hit her head on the METAL BAR in the front.  The metal bar she is referring to is the white arch thing that the monkeys slide on.  

Those were the days when putting her in the exersaucer bought us 15 minutes of happy containment! 

[arebee]

When it comes to MIL? Everything.

She'll demand that DD crawl (or whatever new skill she has) and then act put out because DD didn't perform on demand. She's not a circus monkey, MIL.

She always has really random things to say, like arguing that DD isn't crying when she is.

I could go on and on.

[Deleted]

My mil treats my Dd like a dog. It's hard to explain but the way she talks to her and treats her, and interacts with her. It's just... rough and weird. It's uncomfortable like she doesn't know how to interact with a toddler.

[kangaroo11]

Jan 26, 2015 1:20:29 GMT -5 @roseyposey said:

My mil treats my Dd like a dog. It's hard to explain but the way she talks to her and treats her, and interacts with her. It's just... rough and weird. It's uncomfortable like she doesn't know how to interact with a toddler.

Mine too! She uses the same voice when talking to the dog and the kid. Especially with baby talk- "look at those feetsies" "what cute shoesies". Gah. The kid is learning language from us, so use it properly! 

[dulcemariamar]

Every single time my DD starts to cry she always has to know what is wrong and she always acts so surprised by the crying. It is so annoying. Babies and toddlers cry but she expects me to give some in depth analysis about the crying.

[iheartbanjos]

MIL refers to diapers as "pants" as well. She can be a bit BEC for me, but she gets on H's nerves way more than mine, and she 's a very good grandma.

[mlvmd]

Refuse to believe the kid could be hungry. With DS2 I had to get DH to interfere and get him so I could feed him. It's not even a, oh I don't want to give him up really, because DS1 was bottle fed and she hated when I would suggest she feed him. She would go on and on about how the baby's tummy hurt or some other reason . No, the baby is hungry, please allow him to be fed. It's so annoying.

[bowies]

Her insistence that she be called Nana even though she will likely be a stranger to DS. It's forced familiarity.

[rbp]

My MIL texts and calls all the damn time to ask "did he STTN?" and "how was his day?" She's a wonderful person so I try to be nice, but DAMN.

My mom, OTOH, is BEC in almost every way.

[scribellesam]

The high squeaky baby voice talking to the baby.

Talking to me "as the baby" while being completely unhelpful. "Mama, I need a diaper change!" Then go fucking change it.

Constant quizzing of DS1 or demands that he say certain things to them.

[felicity]

You know that snickering noise people make when riding a horse to get them to giddyup? My MIL makes that noise at DS constantly. She also does this loud, deep, grunting mmmmMMMMmmmmMMMmmm that would pass as an excellent impersonation of Grover that is nearly as bad.

She also won't just let him sleep. She thinks he needs constant rocking, jiggling, and talking to (or rather annoying noises) which ends up waking him up and over stimulates him, then she doesn't understand why he's getting fussy. Because you won't let him just lay there and sleep!

And of course there's the constant unsolicited advice.

[gibbinator]

Wonderful person. But she keeps trying to convince us to buy things on credit. "oh, you're thinking about getting a new dining room table, you know you can get that on a payment plan? Then you don't have to wait"
Dining room table, hard top camping trailer (which we don't even want because we're tenters), living room furniture, home improvements...

[booboo173]

Jan 26, 2015 4:25:27 GMT -5 @pnkybrwstr said:

Baby talk. Everything is "milkies" or "bathies" or "walkies".



Constantly asking when we last saw my parents or brother, what we did with them, how long we were together, etc. It's like she's keeping a spreadsheet of who's family gets more time.

[

This which I find so annoying. And when she does see him she does not interact with him just sits and watches him and then makes comments like we are letting him be unsafe. Also the constant attempt of trying to get him to say mama- it's just weird. I have a lot of things

[moopoint17]

My mom calls all diapers Pampers. Even when they're Huggies. And she insists every time his hands are cold that his "pamper" is wet. Even if there's a reasonable explanation.

All very minor points in my book considering she watches him during the work week for free.

[ryry]

My mil lives out of state. We see them generally once every month/month and a half. She does not let the girls out of her sight and has to be helping them with everything. Need to go potty? Grandma will help! Just walking around the house? Grandma will help! Reading a book quietly by yourself? Grandma will read it to you! We go through grandma detox every single time as the girls have to relearn how to do things on their own. Mama doesn't have time to sit with you every time you pee, my dear.

[gibbinator]

Oh and this is a totally ridiculous complaint but Mil pronounces "last year" like "las tcheer". It's like nails on a chalkboard for some reason

[jenstar]

Jan 26, 2015 4:25:27 GMT -5 @pnkybrwstr said:

Whenever I breastfed him or even the topic of breastfeeding came up, she'd caress her own boob and say something to the effect of "it's soooooo intimate". 

I'm sorry.

Just the thought of someone doing this makes me deeply uncomfortable! Lol

[water*drop]

Jan 26, 2015 1:20:29 GMT -5 @roseyposey said:

My mil treats my Dd like a dog. It's hard to explain but the way she talks to her and treats her, and interacts with her. It's just... rough and weird. It's uncomfortable like she doesn't know how to interact with a toddler.

My MIL is fine, but this describes my mother very well. She talks to DD in a high-pitched voice, everything is said in an excited "come on, girl!" manner as if she's encouraging a dog to do a trick, and she just has no idea how to act around a kid. She ends up mostly sitting on the couch (sometimes not even in the same room as DD) and then posts doting grandmother stuff on FB. Our history makes things rough between us anyway, but watching this makes me internally rage.

[mdana]

Jan 26, 2015 3:10:27 GMT -5 bowies said:

Her insistence that she be called Nana even though she will likely be a stranger to DS. It's forced familiarity.

Ew. My MIL did this as well. She even bought herself a "world's greatest nana" sweatshirt. Ok, lady, whatever. I'm secretly hoping he calls her "Grossmutter" when we do have to see them.