I Quit.

[daisyheadmaizie]

Except, you cant quit being pregnant or life, so I am just sobbing to the point that my eyes feel like they are going to swell shut.

I know I'm a newbie and haven't participated much the last few weeks, but I just have to get this out.

I'm on week 4 of bed rest. I have 7 more to go. While on bed rest I am still trying to keep up with my 4 year old. I asked my mom to come help. She said no. My MIL is planning to come when the baby is born and when I mentioned coming early to help, she had a lengthy list of reasons she couldn't. I desperately need someone to help me on a day to day basis, and there is just no one. I feel incredibly alone and like no one cares. I always thought I had a great circle of friends/support system, but now that I really need it, it doesn't feel that way.

The stress is getting to DH and I. We are fighting a lot. We are both doing the best we can, but it just isn't enough, it seems. I don't know how to fix things and make them better.

I feel like a complete failure as a wife and mother at this point. I'm angry that my body is failing me. I'm so afraid something will happen when I am alone with DD. Actually, I am just worried constantly. Is the baby moving enough, is that normal pain or is it a sign that my uterus is tearing or rupturing, if I get up and fix lunch is that going to trigger my contractions, and so on. I just don't even know what to do anymore or how to make it through the next weeks. :-(

[papie]

Omg, I am so sorry. Can your h work from home? Does your dd go to daycare or school? How about a part time sitter? You need to talk to your h and he needs to help you figure out a solution. I just want to give you a big hug.

[bonquiqui]

I am sorry. ({) (})

[justkly]

I'm sorry. I wish I had something more useful to say to you.

[ladystardust]

You're not a failure! You are doing what is needed to keep your baby safe.
That really sucks about your lack of support though, I'm really sorry.

I hope someone can come through for you.

[Jermys]

Where are you? If you're in the Chicago area, I would totally come take your four year old to the zoo with me (rest assured, in no way, shape or form do I want to take your child forever. One four old is enough). I can't imagine being on bed rest with a four year old running around. You poor poodle. I just want to hug you.

On the bright side, I love having a four year old and a baby. It is so much easier this time around...Edith reminds me that I'm forgetting stuff when we go out (formula and diapers) and she helps by entertaining Freddie and putting his pacifier back in his mouth.

[grk2012]

That really, really sucks. What about hiring a nanny for the hours you're alone with her? Where do you live? *I* want to come help out, and I've never met you. I'll bring my 4 y.o. son to play with your kiddo!

[mamasaurus]

Are you near Chicago? I have a baby so I can't chase your kid for you, but maybe I could run some errands you can't get to or make you some freezer meals.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. Will your dd start school in the fall?

[drrn04]

((((big hugs to you)))))

Are you a member of a church? Any sort of organization that could organize some sort of drop in for an hour or so a day, or dinner every other night for a few weeks?

Try talking to your OB about this. They may have some sort of resources for you to check out to help you through these last few weeks. If not a physical person to help out, maybe someone you can call to talk to?

Hang in there.

[underwaterrhymes]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I really hope someone is able to help you. Do you have friends in the area who can take shifts to help you out?

[lafawnduh]

That sounds really shitty. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this. Do your friends and family really know how bad you're feeling? I only ask that because my family assumes i am doing fine and not in dire need of their help unless i really break it down for them.

Maybe you could try to see if there's a neighbor who could help, or hire a mothers helper for not very much money (a friend of mine has a neighborhood girl come over and care for her toddler--she is on bed rest too).

[greylady]

I'm so sorry. You definitely need to talk to your OB. Also, try reaching out to your friends again, maybe they just aren't hearing how much you need them. Be specific. Ditto the PP mention of church or community groups.

You'll get through this. This is temporary. You can do anything if it's only temporary.

[Deleted]

Ugh. I'm sorry you are going through this. Are you near me? I would come and help if you were. There are GBCNers who have met me IRL and can vouch for my non creepiness!

[ProfessorArtNerd]

I live in Philadelphia. Am I close enough to help you?

[Deleted]

I am soooo sorry. That has to be so stressful. I'm guessing that daycare for the four year old isn't possible? Or your DH working from home? In what city do you live? If you by chance are anywhere near me (I'm in Atlanta), I'd be happy to help some.

[speckledfrog]

Ditto Jermys. If you live near Dallas I am happy to lend a hand. I love 4 year olds (but not enough to keep one!) and I'll even throw in a load of laundry for you.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. and I'm especially sorry that your support system is sucking. Your DH needs to step up, and I'm angry at your mom on your behalf. I just want to wrap you up and hug you. Where are you? I'd be happy to take your 4 YO for a day, too!

[lsea0323]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are one tough woman, I would have fallen apart long ago. I hope you are able to get some relief soon, I wish I could help. (((hugs)))

[daisyheadmaizie]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the kind words. I am not in the Chicago area or I would totally let Jermys take DD to the zoo.

My DH works a weird schedule, so he is home quite a bit during the days. But, he is supposed to be sleeping some of that time, and right now he isn't. Which isn't helping the stress load. DD is great and we do a lot of crafts, reading, etc during the days, but I know she misses going out and doing stuff and having time outside. I just feel awful that she is getting the short end of the stick right now. A mother's helper or someone to come take her out for a few hours a couple of times a week is a good idea.

And, I am terrible at specifically asking for help, so maybe I just need to be more blunt with my requests. I'm just usually the doer, planner, etc and it is so hard to not be able to do anything on my own or for myself. Plus, being flat out turned down by my mother made me feel like no one wants to help.

DH and I had a huge fight and now he is at work, and I was totally at the end of my rope. I just really needed to get it all out. Thanks again for all the kind words and suggestions.

[Jermys]

Awww...I was worried that would be creeptastic. Like "Hey, let the internet stranger take your kid for the day! Mwahahahaha!"

Keep your head up, and if there is anything I can do, please let me know. I hate being confined

[idoinjuly]

I live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. If you are close, I would be happy to help.

[loveablesarah]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine being confined to a bed for 11 weeks with a 4 year old.

I'd be happy to run some errands or entertain the LO or make some freezer meals for you if you are anywhere near the Twin Cities. PM me if you are and we'll talk.

At the very least, please come on here for support whenever you need it. These ladies are great.

[SKP82]

I wish I could give you a hug. Are you willing to share what area you're in for those who have expressed willingness to help? I am new around here, but if you're in my area, I would also be willing to run errands and make some freezer meals.

[daisyheadmaizie]

Aug 7, 2012 21:27:34 GMT -5 namasteak said:

If you live near Houston I will totally come help you out, this sounds like such a tough situation. I can't imagine being on bedrest that long! Are you the poster whose H got her an ipad or a kindle because of the bedrest?

I am. He bought me an iPad, which I love. And, he really is doing his best to keep up with everything, but there are only so many hours in the day. And, it is so hard to sit around and do nothing while he is killing himself trying to keep up. It is just such a shitty situation.

[grk2012]

You're not doing nothing; you're taking care of your other kid the best you can right now. It'll pass. Are you anywhere near west MI?

[Deleted]

If you're in the SL area in Utah, I'd love to help. I'm sans kids, so I could chase around a kiddo! Or run errands! If you're not, is there anything I could send you? I can't imagine what you're going through.

[fuckyourcouch]

I'm sorry another offer to help here, I'm in Denver.

[ooglie26]

If you live in the Indianapolis area...I'm in.

[Deleted]

Put this exact post - except the stuff about your mom - on Facebook. Your friends will help. And if not we will organize a Nestie drive to help you, with care packages or daycare. But give your IRL friends a chance.

You have not failed. Your mom sucks so hard I don't even know what to say.