Post by snipsnsnails on Aug 7, 2012 22:22:58 GMT -5
Yep, wanted to put out there that if you're near CT or NYC metro, I'm willing to help in any way you need.
I watched a friend's 2.5 year old when she was on bed rest with her 2nd - it was one of the most emotionally strenuous times for her ever, but she made it and so will you! We'd love to help!
Put this exact post - except the stuff about your mom - on Facebook. Your friends will help. And if not we will organize a Nestie drive to help you, with care packages or daycare. But give your IRL friends a chance.
You have not failed. Your mom sucks so hard I don't even know what to say.
I agree with this completely. And will also offer whatever help I can if you are near me. ML was an enormous support to me when my dog was injured. It's truly fantastic.
Eleven weeks? Oh, you poor thing. Can you hire someone to come help babysit and/or help pick up? I know a friend's business had that option as a benefit so maybe it's something you can look into? Do you have LTD for pregnancy?
Count me in for help if you're in the greater Seattle area. Your mom and MIL suck wankers for not helping. You're not asking for a little favor, you NEED them to step up. Shame on them for not being there for you at a time like this.
I'm sorry my SIL was just on bed rest with a 4yo and a 6yo so I know it sucks. If you're in the DC metro area, PM me. I don't go back to work til the end of August and I'm a teacher so I'm good with kids
It is so hard to ask for help, but sometimes you just have to suck up your pride and do it. A lot of people probably just don't know what kind of help you need.
When I had spine surgery and couldn't lift DS for two months, I made a calendar on google docs with dates that I would be home alone with DS and needed help. I sent that sucker to every single person that DH and I could possibly consider a friend. It sucked, but was so worth it. People came out of the woodwork to help us. Many forwarded it to their friends or just organized meals for us.in the end, I realized that we had so much support, and the two months were a breeze.
I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I have a 3 year old and there is no way I could handle him and be on bed rest. I agree with Elle, put it on Facebook, be blunt. You need help and you need it now, dont be afraid to ask. If you are anywhere near so cal I would be more than willing to help in any way I can.
Ugh. I can't offer much more support than has been offered already, but this too shall pass;(.
I also want to tell you that this sounds imminently harder than life with a 4 year old and a baby. So, if your mind is wandering there at all just shut it;). ( I have a 4.5 y.o and a 1 y.o, little support and a DH that is gone 4 days a week)
I'm in NC if you're close. I agree with the put this (sans mom stuff) on FB. I think you'll be surprised at the support. Do you or your DH have any siblings or cousins that could come help out even if just for a weekend?
I'm in Upstate NY. I can help if you're nearby. I was on bedrest for 10 weeks with my first and I know how much it sucks. It was my biggest fear I'd be on bedrest with the second and have to take care of a toddler, too. I also think if you ask your friends for specific help they will help. People sometimes don't know what to do and thus do nothing.
I agree that you should put it out there on FB that you need help. If you don't want to put that you're struggling (which I would understand, I hate admitting that), make it about your DD and put something like "I feel so bad for DD now that I'm on bed rest. Between me being stuck inside and not allowed to do anything and H's work schedule she doesn't get to run around and have fun very often. 7 more weeks of this, the poor kid!" and I'm sure people will offer to help. And when/if they do, take them up on it!
I was the same way prior to being put on bed rest and then having the twins - I hated asking anyone for help. But sometimes things are just too much and you need help. I can't even imagine being on bed rest with a 4 year old. And I'm sure you're the type who's always helping everyone else - let them return the favor! Did your mom have a good reason for saying no (like work or other commitments)? If not, I'd also reach out to her again and emphasize how much you really need her now.
I live in West Michigan, but I'm leaving the country next week, so I'm not a whole lot of help, but if you need a care package or anything, I'd love to help! I agree with Elle about posting on FB and reach out to anyone else who could possibly help you. And if you can afford it, get someone to do some cleaning some you and H don't have to worry about it - maybe a teenager who needs some work before school starts and would be cheaper than a regular cleaning service.
Odd question, but do you have an aunt that doesn't have children? I have 2 and while DH is traveling they jump at the chance to help.
We had DHs gma come and stay with us the for a week after both kids were born. She was a ton of help just entertaining DD when DS was born. I was amazed that what little she could do with her age was a huge help. It also has created a very strong bond between my kids and her. She talks all the time about how much it meant to her.
Put this exact post - except the stuff about your mom - on Facebook. Your friends will help. And if not we will organize a Nestie drive to help you, with care packages or daycare. But give your IRL friends a chance.
You have not failed. Your mom sucks so hard I don't even know what to say.
Agree with Elle 100%. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.
That sounds rough, I'm sorry I agree that you should post about your situation on facebook. Your friends probably don't realize how hard this is for you.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
I don't post very often but I just wanted to say that every time I read a post like this and there is such an OUTPOURING of kind words and offers to lend a hand it just makes me tear up. It could just be the pregnancy hormones but God... you gals are great!
it's so nice how everyone is offering their support, but you don't want to take it? lol, uh...
anyway, i hope things get better for you. you do need help. i hope you get some/take some.
She may not want to post where she lives. Or have strangers over right now. Hopefully just seeing so many people wanting to help means she's talking to her real life friends and family and lining something up, or at least feels less alone
She may not want to post where she lives. Or have strangers over right now. Hopefully just seeing so many people wanting to help means she's talking to her real life friends and family and lining something up, or at least feels less alone