can I ramble?

[iamgrace]

Easter is the first holiday without my mom.

I know, I KNOW we had a tumultuous not always healthy relationship, but I can say that the last visit she had here we were taking steps towards something better.

Now it's gone.

I have to spend time tomorrow with my H's mom for the first time since my mom died. I'm feeling...so much.

In the weeks after she died I spent countless hours lying and sleeping in "her bed". My laziness meant I hadn't yet changed the sheets in the room that she slept in, and how glad I am for that because it was a comfort. Her smell. But I've forced myself to move on, and not lie there for hours

I just.. I don't know. I'm feeling like I want to lie down there again and...I don't know where I'm going with this.

Ugh. It's really real now.

[W.T.Faulkner]

(Hugs)

[killercupcake]

I'm sorry, Grace.

[messykitchen]

I am so sorry.

[ginger]

((hugs))

[gogadgetgo]

Lots of hugs

[venice2007]

Huge hugs. The "firsts" during that first year are hard. Do what you need to find comfort. xoxo

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Just because it wasn't a picture perfect relationship doesn't mean you aren't going to miss it anyway. She was your mom. I'm so sorry you're sad.

[Muddled]

Holidays are hard. They are default family time and it is so glaringly obvious when someone is missing. It's hard to ignore it.

(((grace)))

[spindle92]

Hugs.
You are allowed to feel however you want. There is no right or wrong way to feel when you lose someone close, especially a parent.

[cuddlyevil]

{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}

[dexteroni]

Apr 3, 2015 15:35:58 GMT -5 venice2007 said:

Huge hugs. The "firsts" during that first year are hard. Do what you need to find comfort. xoxo

This, so much. There's no wrong way to grieve. (((((hugs)))))

[hulley]

I'm so sorry. It's so very hard ((hug))

[spitforspat]

(((Grace)))

Be kind to yourself. You have every right to feel whatever you feel.

[ginandjucie24]

I am sorry you are sad . Is there anything thing that you have of hers that you can wear or keep with you so that you can feel like a part of her is still with you?

[papie]

Holidays are so hard after a loss.  I'm so sorry grace. 

[iamgrace]

Apr 3, 2015 15:45:56 GMT -5 ginandjucie24 said:

I am sorry you are sad . Is there anything thing that you have of hers that you can wear or keep with you so that you can feel like a part of her is still with you?

I wear her wedding ring every day. I have most of her jewelry. Some clothes. Other things.

[iamgrace]

I haven't seen my grandma - her mom since she died. Her health made it impossible to travel 5 hours for my mom's funeral. I feel like taking off and driving to be with her right now, but I just can't.

[jeaniebueller]

Hugs to you.

[Kit]

I'm sorry, grace.

[snorky]

You lost your mother. No matter how tumultuous your relationship was when she was alive, you still have gone through a major and sudden trauma. Allow yourself to grieve how and when you want/need to do.

[junebug]

Hugs to you

[calledout]

I'm wearing my mom's uggs right now:). I get it:)

[elleblue]

{{{iamgrace}}}

[demelza]

Hang in there iamgrace, holidays are tough

[mrsukyankee]

Hugs iamgrace. Big hugs.

[bcv513]

Oh grace I'm so sorry.

[bananapancakes]

So many hugs to you.

[flutermed]

Big hug grace

[McGavin]

You're allowed to feel however you feel. There's no right or wrong . (((hugs)))