Can we do some confessions/flamefuls?

[brooklyn]

My parents offered me $2000 a month to move to their neighborhood and help be their personal assistant managing their vacation home, and the health matters of our 2 family members in hospice care. That "paycheck" is mostly just a cover to help H accept more money from them. I totally want to take them up on it. I love where I grew up, and it would be a great neighborhood to raise J in. Plus, we'd be farther away from the shitty inlaws!

[lulu21]

I bought a 5 pack of underwear at target today. H told me they look like granny panties. Idgaf. They're extremely comfortable.

[gibbinator]

May 27, 2015 14:53:27 GMT -5 bearbaby said:

May 27, 2015 14:52:05 GMT -5 londoncalling said:

I think spitting just makes it hang out in your mouth longer. Swallowing is quick and then you're done with it.

I bring a glass of water to bed with me when I plan ahead so I can wash it down quickly.  I 100% agree it lingers LESS when I do that vs. spit.

See I spit and then rinse my mouth out under the tap. I almost swallowed once, and then that thought sent me gagging, so I've never even considered it since. Dh prefers me spitting over the threat of me puking on him.
I've always had a sensitive gag reflex though. Back in the day (read, before kids puked/pooped/spit on me daily) just seeing a person spit spit on the ground would cause me to gag.

[niq]

May 27, 2015 17:27:38 GMT -5 brooklyn said:

My parents offered me $2000 a month to move to their neighborhood and help be their personal assistant managing their vacation home, and the health matters of our 2 family members in hospice care. That "paycheck" is mostly just a cover to help H accept more money from them. I totally want to take them up on it. I love where I grew up, and it would be a great neighborhood to raise J in. Plus, we'd be farther away from the shitty inlaws!

I get why you want to take it, but for me that would be signing up for a lot of emotional labor. At least it probably wouldn't last long

Would you be moving outside greater NYC? How would it affect other job prospects/commuting?

[brooklyn]

May 27, 2015 17:30:41 GMT -5 @choco said:

May 27, 2015 17:27:38 GMT -5 brooklyn said:

My parents offered me $2000 a month to move to their neighborhood and help be their personal assistant managing their vacation home, and the health matters of our 2 family members in hospice care. That "paycheck" is mostly just a cover to help H accept more money from them. I totally want to take them up on it. I love where I grew up, and it would be a great neighborhood to raise J in. Plus, we'd be farther away from the shitty inlaws!

I would soooo do it. Is your H against it though? Considering how his family treats you I would push to move.

My parents live in Manhattan and we currently live in Brooklyn, so it wouldn't be a huge move. But we currently live about a mile from the inlaws, and I have to bank in their neighborhood, and I would love to have a river between us.

H doesn't particularly like how the apartments look in my parents neighborhood, but he's only seen my parents's unit which is rent stabilized and hasn't been updated in over 30 years. The market rate, renovated units are really nice (and $1k over our budget, hence the need for their help. But my parents are rich even by nyc standards and that's a drop in the bucket for them)

[ssmjlm]

TamiTaylor and @marshmallows I made a comment that it was abuse to grandparents to make them watch their grandchildren.

Cue everyone "OMG MY PARENTS WANT TO WATCH MY KID!!! YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE!"

Which I then said, well if your parents volunteer, that's not what I was talking about.

Then some backlash about my parents saving for E's college and how it's totally the same thing b/c you know my parents are helping us, even though I didn't ask or expect them to.

Surprisingly the thread never got to any good gifs. I did have to explain active saving to a couple people.

[brooklyn]

niq H works in Manhattan so his commute would be pretty easy. And I'm a spoiled SCRU and my parents are happy to just give us the money, but H is too principled. If I handle phone calls/emails it at least evens out the deal a bit.

I keep trying to get H to move out of nyc to any other major city, but no luck so far.

[SJ]

May 27, 2015 17:27:38 GMT -5 brooklyn said:

My parents offered me $2000 a month to move to their neighborhood and help be their personal assistant managing their vacation home, and the health matters of our 2 family members in hospice care. That "paycheck" is mostly just a cover to help H accept more money from them. I totally want to take them up on it. I love where I grew up, and it would be a great neighborhood to raise J in. Plus, we'd be farther away from the shitty inlaws!

Is the $2000 enough for the kind of apartment you'd like to live in?

This sounds like a good deal to me!

[kershnic]

May 27, 2015 17:42:13 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Active savings means it comes out of the grandparents food or mortgage budgets.  Inactive savings comes from the diamond shoes budget.  

[anna7602]

May 27, 2015 14:34:46 GMT -5 mmmomof2 said:

. It's nice having one on one time with DD1, but dang do I miss her having a companion. She is constantly chatting and wanting to play with me. How do people have only children?

It's the novelty. If you only had one child, she would be used to having your undivided attention and wouldn't be in your face all the time.

[ssmjlm]

May 27, 2015 18:02:31 GMT -5 kershnic said:

May 27, 2015 17:42:13 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Active savings means it comes out of the grandparents food or mortgage budgets.  Inactive savings comes from the diamond shoes budget.  

Totally.

^o)

[cjeanette]

Reminds me did I ever tell you guys about how my mom hard core judges my MIL. She backed out on watching my now 22 month old niece after saying she would (which I belive she offered) basically 2 wks before SIL was to go back to work.

My mom heard and was livid. She was all "she doesn't work. Why would she make her baby grandchild go to daycare when she is too young to tell them if something wrong is going on. How selfish can you be Watching my grandkids is the best thing that ever happened to" yadda yadda

To this day she judges MIL for it. Like she is the superior grandma because she watches my kids PT.

[brooklyn]

May 27, 2015 17:54:19 GMT -5 SJ said:

May 27, 2015 17:27:38 GMT -5 brooklyn said:

My parents offered me $2000 a month to move to their neighborhood and help be their personal assistant managing their vacation home, and the health matters of our 2 family members in hospice care. That "paycheck" is mostly just a cover to help H accept more money from them. I totally want to take them up on it. I love where I grew up, and it would be a great neighborhood to raise J in. Plus, we'd be farther away from the shitty inlaws!

Is the $2000 enough for the kind of apartment you'd like to live in?

This sounds like a good deal to me!

Yup! We'd come out almost $1k ahead.

[glitzy07]

I got Subway for dinner tonight and I didn't have then heat up the lunchmeat. If H asks what I had, I'll lie and tell him I got a toasted sandwich because he's even less breezy than me about pregnancy restrictions.

[Brie]

May 27, 2015 17:15:45 GMT -5 @marshmallows said:

Brie, someone posted this in a resale group and she's from your area. :-'(

Yeah there was a lot at my store. Missouri has no fashion sense obvs.

[glitzy07]

Oh, and I don't get the point of masturbation. I've never gotten anything out of it, so whenever people mention it on here I can't relate at all.

[anna7602]

May 27, 2015 17:42:13 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

TamiTaylor and @marshmallows I made a comment that it was abuse to grandparents to make them watch their grandchildren.

Cue everyone "OMG MY PARENTS WANT TO WATCH MY KID!!! YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE!"

.

You made the comment immediately following my comment saying my parents never paid for daycare because my grandparents watched me. It was so bizarre to suddenly jump to "abuse!" And ridiculous considering I never said anything to imply that because of that I expected the same arrangement for my own kids now.

[Deleted]

May 27, 2015 14:38:25 GMT -5 @upnorth said:

I have one that might be an actual flameful/unpopular opinion-I don't understand giving a BJ to completion and not swallowing. I get not liking bjs so not really giving them, I get giving one and having the guy finish elsewhere, but if you get to the point of him finishing in your mouth why not swallow. I"m sure there is some reason that I just don't know so please feel free to inform me!

I have trouble swallowing while still sucking (sorry TMI) so I hold it in my mouth. Then it feels all gross in there so I spit it out.
Weird because I used to always swallow.

[cjeanette]

May 27, 2015 18:26:15 GMT -5 Brie said:

May 27, 2015 17:15:45 GMT -5 @marshmallows said:

Brie, someone posted this in a resale group and she's from your area. :-'(

Yeah there was a lot at my store. Missouri has no fashion sense obvs.

This may be the first and last time I ever say this but I am proud of MO for not buying that ugly nonsense

#stillteamKS

[cjeanette]

May 27, 2015 18:27:28 GMT -5 glitzy07 said:

Oh, and I don't get the point of masturbation. I've never gotten anything out of it, so whenever people mention it on here I can't relate at all.

I didn't either until I was 30 and got a bullet.

[Brie]

This is kind of a depressing actual confession. I still blame myself for P's stroke. I think about how breezy I was and wonder if it was the hot baths I took or the occasional beer or the pedicure fumes or too much walking on the Disney trip or the home Doppler I used or the sinus infections I had that caused his stroke. Maybe I should have called about the reduced movement sooner or insisted on an u/s when I fell. I feel like I have no standing to weigh in on "is this okay?" type of posts because usually the answer is, "well, I did it, and my kid has irreparable brain damage, so," and I don't want to be Debbie Downer.

Logically I know it wasn't my fault. But emotionally the "what ifs" are fucking killer, man. I don't know if I'll ever be over it and sometimes I feel a strong urge to self medicate inappropriately.

[lauren170]

Here is my confession- I'm in full body hate mode right now I have an interview on Friday. I just tried on my suit and it doesn't fit. I last wore it in January. I started working out 2x per week in March and have made eating changes in the last month. Now I have to rush out tonight and drop $200+ on a suit for a job where they probably won't even meet my salary requirements - so it's a huge waste of money I don't have because I let myself get fatter.

[glitzy07]

Hugs Brie. I'm always scared of feeling like that too, which is why I'm generally not breezy while pregnant. Obviously contradicted by my post above, but if something happens with this pregnancy, I would always wonder if it was that one turkey sandwich I ate. Or if it was the two NA beers I had to hide my pregnancy at a happy hour, not realizing that it still had alcohol in it.

[ssmjlm]

May 27, 2015 18:27:50 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

May 27, 2015 17:42:13 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

TamiTaylor and @marshmallows I made a comment that it was abuse to grandparents to make them watch their grandchildren.

Cue everyone "OMG MY PARENTS WANT TO WATCH MY KID!!! YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE!"

.

You made the comment immediately following my comment saying my parents never paid for daycare because my grandparents watched me. It was so bizarre to suddenly jump to "abuse!" And ridiculous considering I never said anything to imply that because of that I expected the same arrangement for my own kids now.

I said it yesterday and I will say it again. My comment wasn't in response to yours. I didn't even see your comment until you mentioned it.

But I see that you will believe what you want so have at it.

[carolinagirl831]

Brie hugs! There is nothing you can do to change what happened, but quit beating yourself up and just know how lucky P is to have such an awesome advocate and devoted mom.

[ssmjlm]

Brie don't blame yourself. There's no way to know what caused it.

Hugs!

[glitzy07]

May 27, 2015 18:43:01 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

May 27, 2015 18:27:28 GMT -5 glitzy07 said:

Oh, and I don't get the point of masturbation. I've never gotten anything out of it, so whenever people mention it on here I can't relate at all.

You're doing it wrong. 

Haha, fair point.

[bronxgirl]

May 27, 2015 18:33:34 GMT -5 Brie said:

This is kind of a depressing actual confession. I still blame myself for P's stroke. I think about how breezy I was and wonder if it was the hot baths I took or the occasional beer or the pedicure fumes or too much walking on the Disney trip or the home Doppler I used or the sinus infections I had that caused his stroke. Maybe I should have called about the reduced movement sooner or insisted on an u/s when I fell. I feel like I have no standing to weigh in on "is this okay?" type of posts because usually the answer is, "well, I did it, and my kid has irreparable brain damage, so," and I don't want to be Debbie Downer.

Logically I know it wasn't my fault. But emotionally the "what ifs" are fucking killer, man. I don't know if I'll ever be over it and sometimes I feel a strong urge to self medicate inappropriately.

Big, big hugs to you @brie. I know my saying this doesn't make it any easier, but no, it was not your fault. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had and none of the things you mentioned caused P's diagnosis. You've been a great mother through and through and P and C are lucky to have you.

[ssmjlm]

May 27, 2015 18:53:29 GMT -5 @starry said:

The slow burn on the daycare cost thread has been annoying. I prefer a light it up, knock it down flaming vs slowly going back and forth over a day.

I can't get on at work and typing from my phone blows.

Sorry. I'll try harder next time.

[cjeanette]

May 27, 2015 18:51:48 GMT -5 @starry said:

I have said this before but to me you can only classify a pregnancy as a surprise if you were correctly using birth control and still conceived.

Otherwise it might be surprising to you, but it is not a surprise.

I am glad bowies promises not to do a SURPRISE PREGNANCY post (unless it's ironic

Speaking of, do people think mekiakoo is gone for good?

I think you are confusing surprise with accident.