Fuck!!! *update in replies*

[sweetchix]

PDQ

WG came over after work today. Then, not 4 hours after he left I find out that he is also seeing another woman at work. The one that I was trying not to get jealous of because they were going to lunch together. Yep. She and I are fb friends and she was messaging me about divorce and I made a comment about having someone to spend some time with and that helped and she asked if it was someone we worked with. I said yes and she asked if it was WG. I said yes and I thought she was going to say she was interested in him. Well yep, not only that but they had gone out a few times since Memorial Day.

I texted him to see if he was still awake and asked him to call me. An hour later, no call, so I texted him and said that we needed to talk, tomorrow. I suggested that the 2 of us go out to lunch alone to talk. Well, then he called.

I asked him to define his relationship with M. And he admitted they had gone out a few times. I asked if they slept together and he said once. I asked if they used a condom (we are not) and he said no. I bitched him out big time for that and said that he just put me at risk.

I also told him that I was really hurt by this. I said I knew we weren't a couple and that he had every right to see someone else, but to do it right under my nose with someone at work!?! Makes me feel like a stupid fool.

He tried defending himself and saying that since we weren't bf/gf that he didn't see the need to tell me about M. I said bullshit. had he told me back when they started hanging out outside of work, I could have (and would have) made the decision to stop right then and there.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I told him that I don't think I can do this anymore. And of all days to find out, on the day he came over and we had some really hot sex and, pardon my French, still had his cum in me, and find out he's seeing this other woman and has even slept with her. ' 99.9% sure I'm completely done now. That stupid .1% of my heart doesn't want to let go. I'm hurt. I had to run to the bathroom after she old me because I thought I was going to throw up.

She says she's done with him. She's going through a divorce and doesn't need these games while she is. She asked if anything was going to change between us and I told her no. Neither of us knew what was going on. She said she asked him if anything was going on with him and me and he told her no. She's pissed and said she probably won't ever talk to him again.

I don't know. Tomorrow should be interesting. He said he's going to hide in his cube all day. Odd thing is, that even though I was bitching him out and telling him how much he hurt me, we still had a nice conversation aside from that. With some laughs. I really did, really do like him. Why the fuck do I still have feelings for him even after this? I must be fucked up.

I haven't cried yet, but I have a feeling they may come. And that tonight will be a sleepless night. Duck off feelings!!!

[redshoejune]

Oh no, what an idiot of him to think you two wouldn't have found out about each other.

[cuddlyevil]

You deserve better. You know this. But knowing that still doesn't make the feelings go away. Give it time and cut off all contact--it will make it easier.

[Deleted]

((sweetchix)). I'm really sorry. You deserve better than this immature, lying, scumbag game playing. He has put you all at risk as well. At this point you really need to cut him off.

[seabitch]

I am sorry sweetchix. Ditto on you deserve better. The next few days won't be easy, but look at the big picture, you may have dodged a proverbial bullet here.

[sweetchix]

I only slept less than 3 hours last night. Didn't fall asleep until almost 3 and woke up at 5. I laid around until 6ish, then had to run to the bathroom and threw up. I am so fucking shocked by this. I hate that he is this kind of guy. i really didn't expect this.

So M and I were texting last night after we both talked to him and again this morning. She and I are going to go to lunch today to talk a bit more. I guess if anything I'll hopefully gain a new friendship out of all this.

[sweetchix]

Saw this on FB last week and damn if it isn't fitting for this situation...

[Emerald1486]

Jul 7, 2015 7:43:02 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Saw this on FB last week and damn if it isn't fitting for this situation...

I am sorry you are dealing with this. That is low of him. He definitely should have told you when things progressed if only for your own safety. You were right to bitch him out on so many levels. You do deserve better, and hopefully your heart will catch up. I've been there.

[quietmind]

I'm sorry sweetchix I read something yesterday that hit home with me. Worst battle:
What I know
vs.
What I feel

[starburst604]

Big, big hugs. I wondered what was going on with you from your FB post this morning. When the shock of this wears off, I hope you'll see that the feelings you have are for the person you thought/hoped he was and not the lying sack of shit that he is. He doesn't deserve your heart or your friendship.

[MyName]

I'm sorry you are struggling, but I agree you need to end this now. He's not even your bf and he's able to make you feel this bad - that is not a good sign.

You said if he had told you about the other woman, you would have ended it with him. But now that you've found out he lied by omission, made you feel like a fool, and apparently does not feel bad at all, you're not sure what you're going to do?? Come on, man! He knows he can do whatever he wants and you'll still give him attention, and he's going to keep taking advantage of that until you shut it down.

Best of luck to you.

[sweetchix]

Jul 7, 2015 9:10:30 GMT -5 MyName said:

You said if he had told you about the other woman, you would have ended it with him. But now that you've found out he lied by omission, made you feel like a fool, and apparently does not feel bad at all, you're not sure what you're going to do?? Come on, man! He knows he can do whatever he wants and you'll still give him attention, and he's going to keep taking advantage of that until you shut it down.

Best of luck to you.

You're right. But I don't know how to answer that. Maybe I wouldn't have ended things. I'm not sure.

[jigsy]

Dude. You just need to end it. He doesn't care about you at all. He willfully put your health in danger, and didn't even think twice about it, or think he did anything wrong.
I get that having a connection with someone is great. I still get a little bummed over Vegas every now and then, but end of the day...he didn't want me. And WG doesn't want you. Respect yourself enough to know that.

[bullygirl979]

Hugs, sweetchix. That was really shitty of him. It's one thing to go out and date random women, it is another thing to do it with someone you know. Andplusalso, NOT COOL to have unprotected sex and not tell you. He is being completely disrespectful.

[Deleted]

Also, don't fuck where you work. Find a new person to fuck or a new place to work, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let some asshole ruin my $$.

[calle28]

What a jerk, for lying and putting your health at risk. I'm sorry, he's definitely not worth it. Please let him go.

[bullygirl979]

Jul 7, 2015 9:40:36 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Also, don't fuck where you work. Find a new person to fuck or a new place to work, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let some asshole ruin my $$.

This. And don't date where you work. 

Signed, 
the girl who didn't take her own advice and had it blow up in her face

[sweetchix]

Jul 7, 2015 9:57:43 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jul 7, 2015 9:40:36 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Also, don't fuck where you work. Find a new person to fuck or a new place to work, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let some asshole ruin my $$.

This. And don't date where you work. 

Signed, 
the girl who didn't take her own advice and had it blow up in her face

Which I will now take as it's blowing up in my face.

[bl]

I am so sorry sweetchix you deserve so much better and I hope you can see that enough to cut off contact with him completely. I agree with starburst604 about still having feelings for the guy you THOUGHT he was not who he is showing you he is. I was in this same boat with a fwb because I just knew he could be a better person, but he repeatedly showed me that he wasn't. It was so hard, but I had to cut off all contact, I sometimes wonder if he ever got his shit together, but I am in a much better place without him in my life. Him knowingly putting your health at risk is completely unforgivable. I don't know if you guys had any conversation around it before, but I don't ever stop using condoms until we have both agreed we are not sleeping with anyone else, so I would not be able to get over that at all.

[sweetchix]

Jul 7, 2015 10:14:09 GMT -5 bl said:

I am so sorry sweetchix you deserve so much better and I hope you can see that enough to cut off contact with him completely. I agree with starburst604 about still having feelings for the guy you THOUGHT he was not who he is showing you he is. I was in this same boat with a fwb because I just knew he could be a better person, but he repeatedly showed me that he wasn't. It was so hard, but I had to cut off all contact, I sometimes wonder if he ever got his shit together, but I am in a much better place without him in my life. Him knowingly putting your health at risk is completely unforgivable. I don't know if you guys had any conversation around it before, but I don't ever stop using condoms until we have both agreed we are not sleeping with anyone else, so I would not be able to get over that at all.

Thanks. You guys are right. You all are. I KNOW this. It's just hard to DO it.

Yes, we is had a conversation about no condoms. We both said neither of us was sleeping with anyone else and he said he's never been one to sleep around. He said he's not good at it. Obviously! But I did specifically tell him to let me know if he did sleep with someone and didn't use protection so that *I* could be the one to make the decision regarding my health. I am really pissed that he didn't do that. I really ripped into him about that.

edited to make sense.

[bullygirl979]

sweetchix, you shouldn't HAVE to tell him to tell you know if he is having unprotected sex with other people. It's just fucking common sense.

[sweetchix]

Jul 7, 2015 10:46:54 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

sweetchix, you shouldn't HAVE to tell him to tell you know if he is having unprotected sex with other people. It's just fucking common sense.

This is true. I'll bet he didn't tell her either.

[doriswe]

((sweetchix)) I'm sorry you're hurting. You deserve better than this. You know that. You also know he's a shit head and has been for some time so stop wasting time on someone who couldn't even bother to 1. make time for you 2. be honest with you 3. give you all of the pieces of the puzzle which put YOU at risk.

I love you, but you need to be done with this post haste.

[glitzyglow]

I'm so sorry you are hurting. Everyone's really said what I have to say. Remember that you are deserving of honesty, especially when it puts your health at risk, and someone who doesn't value you enough to give you that honesty shouldn't deserve a place in your life.

[sweetchix]

So M and I went to lunch together. Come to find out he's been using the same fucking lines and acting the same fucking way with both of us. He's lied to her when she asked him about us. He said we were just friends and then that he and I never went out on "dates" like she and him did. Even last night, on our phone calls with him. Same shit told to both of us.

I'm fucking livid!!! I am done with him!!! 100% done with him. I'm going to call him later tonight and bitch him out some more and tell him we're through. I may even take my one friend up on her offer punch him. Fucking bastard!

Sorry for all the f-bombs but I'm really, REALLY pissed! And thank you proboards for allowing the f-bombs!!!

[missva]

Jul 7, 2015 14:07:13 GMT -5 TR said:

Jul 7, 2015 13:45:23 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

So M and I went to lunch together. Come to find out he's been using the same fucking lines and acting the same fucking way with both of us. He's lied to her when she asked him about us. He said we were just friends and then that he and I never went out on "dates" like she and him did. Even last night, on our phone calls with him. Same shit told to both of us.

I'm fucking livid!!! I am done with him!!! 100% done with him. I'm going to call him later tonight and bitch him out some more and tell him we're through. I may even take my one friend up on her offer punch him. Fucking bastard!

Sorry for all the f-bombs but I'm really, REALLY pissed! And thank you proboards for allowing the f-bombs!!!

No. Do not do this. Just let it go. Don't drag out the interaction.

Agree. Don't call him - it will just give him a chance to make excuses. Be done.

And I'm so sorry :-(

[sweetchix]

Jul 7, 2015 14:08:44 GMT -5 missva said:

Jul 7, 2015 14:07:13 GMT -5 TR said:

No. Do not do this. Just let it go. Don't drag out the interaction.

Agree. Don't call him - it will just give him a chance to make excuses. Be done.

And I'm so sorry

Good point. Ok, no phone call. TR

[Deleted]

What a dickhead
I'm sorry you went through this
I agree with the other ladies' that said don't call him. Take the high road (it's less crowded).

[cuddlyevil]

Jul 7, 2015 14:10:32 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Jul 7, 2015 14:08:44 GMT -5 missva said:

Agree. Don't call him - it will just give him a chance to make excuses. Be done.

And I'm so sorry

Good point. Ok, no phone call. TR

No phone call, text, or email. Nothing. Cold turkey. He doesn't deserve to know how much he hurt you. 

[jojoandleo]

Jul 7, 2015 13:45:23 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

I'm fucking livid!!! I am done with him!!! 100% done with him. I'm going to call him later tonight and bitch him out some more and tell him we're through. I may even take my one friend up on her offer punch him. Fucking bastard!

No. Do not call him. Do not give him anymore of your time. Do not give him the opportunity to know he hurt you. Do not give him the opportunity to lie to you more/manipulate you again. Every time you talk to him, you come back all, "we joked around on the phone. He's soooo dreamy!" So, NO! DO NOT GIVE HIM THIS CHANCE. HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME OR ENERGY. Stop contacting him. If he contacts you, just tell him you are done. Period.

Go to happy hour with a friend and bitch about him.