Baby is here/Already struggling

[mcfelix]

Congratulations!

The early days pretty much suck. It will get better though.

[crazygame]

I used a nipple shields for about a month after my daughter was born. Then one day the nurse practitioner at the pediatrician's office told me to try without it and she took to it like a champ. But the weeks we were struggling were hard. And sleep deprivation is horrible.

Sleep whenever you can. Make it your husband's job to clean and feed, so that you can pump and sleep. I tried to do it all, because my husband was working and I felt like I should be able to handle the baby stuff. It almost ruined my marriage. Lean on him. Let him know what you need. Take up any and all offers for food or help. It will get better.

And congrats!

[cherry1111]

So totally normal. I remember thinking I would never have a minute to myself again and, even though it's taboo I'll say it, i regretted this major life change we had made. But it gets so so so much better. Like so much better that people go on to have another kid and do it all again. Hugs.

[longtimenopost]

So many hugs! Congrats on your baby girl! A bit of sleep makes a world of difference. If there's anyway your DH can get her out of the house for a walk or a car ride, have him do that. I couldn't sleep with my baby screaming in the house.

[july]

So sorry. Yes, the first few days are so rough and I can't imagine how much more it is for you due to the bf issues. Your hormones are crashing and you likely aren't sleeping well.

Take time for yourself and get out of the house.

[Deleted]

Congratulations! I hope you are able to get some sleep. Sleep deprivation can ,are everything else seem impossible to handle, especially with the hormones and pumping. The firs week was the hardest for me hormonally.

[estrellita]

*Hugs* the first few weeks were the worst for me for similar reasons. It was a cycle of change, feed (mostly formula, E never latched and I wasn't getting much milk), pump, attempt sleep every 2-3 hours. It was exhausting and beyond frustrating. I felt way better after I decided to stop trying to pump because I was able to just enjoy my son instead of being hooked up to that pump all the time. So just know if it gets to be too much, it's perfectly fine to stop. It's not going to hurt anyone. I know I needed to hear that so I just want to throw that out there for you. Hang in there, this stage will be over before you know it and things will get better. Just do what's best for baby AND you. You need to be comfortable and happy too, however you need to do that!

[Velar Fricative]

Congrats! And big hugs. The first few days are so hard.

I EPed the first week too but I did feed her with bottles (and subsequently thought she would neeeeever go to the breast because introduced bottles too early). With the help of the nipple shield, she latched at a week old - I offered the breast first every time before then and suddenly she took to it. It may take longer than a week for you (or it may not) but stick with offering each time if you can. And I am glad you will see an LC soon! Mine was wonderful and helped me wean off the shield at 5 weeks.

In the meantime, hang in there. Sleep in between feedings because you H can do everything you can except for the BFing. At that point, I remember even an hour nap was huge for me.

[celiacmom]

Can you call an ibclc today that will come to your home? Most work weekends!

[wanderingenough]

Thank you all so much! It really really helps to hear others had similar issues the first weeks because I feel 100 shades of crazy at this point.

H has been great, and I'll definitely take the advice to not feel like I have to do it all just because I'm on ML and he is back to work. I'm going to ask for help so I don't end up with resentment.

For those that asked, my OBs office recommended the LC in their practice but of course she was out Friday and Monday. I may look for someone to see this weekend or Monday.

[loskadoodle]

All normal but I'm so sorry. Have you tried a nipple shield? We used one for the first month.

[Deleted]

My hospital wouldn't let us go home syringe feeding. We needed to get the baby on bottles when he wouldn't latch. You can definitely still work on nursing, but it sounds like a switch to bottles is warranted and would make your life easier.

I have EPed for 8 months. Some things I would recommend, assuming you have a little money to throw at the problem.

Get 2 Simple Wishes brand hands free bras. There are 2 size options that cover a good range of sizes (they are highly adjustable)

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0097GUCZ6/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?qid=1445698069&sr=8-2&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=simple+wishes+hands-free+breastpump+bra&dpPl=1&dpID=41wL1feRCxL&ref=plSrch

Get 3 sets of pump parts. That seemed the good number for me.

Be sure you have nipple cream. Food grade Coconut oil is the cheapest and works well if you like the smell. I like Honest brand nipple balm best, but it is literally probably 10x as expensive as coconut oil.

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00DS842HS/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?qid=1445698139&sr=8-2&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=coconut+oil&dpPl=1&dpID=51EhAfSaq8L&ref=plSrch

Be sure to pump 8x a day at least for the first 12 weeks. It is pretty much not fun, but this will get your milk supply established. After 12 weeks (assuming your baby isn't nursing by that point) you can slowly cut down # of pumps per day. Most women find 5 or 6 works well for the next several months then can cut down further.

Get plenty of collection bottles. I found enough for one day a good amount, so about 16. More is nice depending on what you want to spend.

I found my experience vastly improved by buying a Spectra pump. That depends on person though. If are interested in assessing your pump situation at some point, just start a new thread--lots of gals can share their experience.

If you start feeling lumps, reduced output, etc, post a thread and we can help. Some women never do, so I won't give you 8 paragraphs on that unless you need it;)

And is you feel like it is all to much and want to switch to formula, that is okay. A non-hormonal, logical me would have done that after the first week. Hormonal me cried all the time and kept pumping. Any of the options are perfectly fine.

Hang in there. You will be fine. After the hormones ease up at week two or three, it gets easier and you continue to get the hang of it.

[Deleted]

Oh and if you need bags for freezing milk, the Target brand are the best. Medela are the worst and most expensive. But if you have free ones from gifts or that came with your pump, use whatever you have:)

[pescalita]

Congrats and hugs. It gets better, promise.

[wanderingenough]

Oct 24, 2015 9:49:58 GMT -5 loskadoodle said:

All normal but I'm so sorry. Have you tried a nipple shield? We used one for the first month.

Yeah, I have tried various sizes while meeting with the other LCs and since. The pain is still pretty excruciating the whole time and he isn't getting anything really.

[kate1482]

Congrats and huge hugs.

Ps- Our LC had us discontinue syringe feeding once we left the hospital (they even kept us a extra day due to feeding issues). She had us use dr brown bottles with preemie nipples once we got home while we continued to work on breastfeeding.

[aprilsails]

Congratulations! I'm sorry you are having a rough time but I want to also reassure you are almost through the eye of the storm and things will steadily improve.

I found the Friday/Saturday after my Tuesday birth were the worst days. My hormone issues peaked and I was very anxious on top of everything else. My milk also came in and the baby was voracious and would eat non stop given the option. I went to a LC consult at the hospital since I was certain that she wasn't getting enough. I remember it taking me 4 hours to get her ready to go and we almost missed the open clinic hours and I was panicked.

You, your DH and the baby will learn how to manage your new life together. Please try to rest and not worry about your beautiful boy. You're doing so great right now.

[wanderingenough]

@kcpokergal - Thanks for all the tips. I'm sure I'll have lots of questions if I keep this up. I actually have a Spectra S2 that I got through insurance, but the hospital LC told me I needed to rent the Symphony so that's what I have been using. Do you think it would make sense to just switch to the Spectra now since that's what I'll need parts for, etc?

I ordered the 2 simple wishes bra and just got it yesterday, so that has been really helpful.

I'm fine switching to a bottle at this point. The pediatrician actually recommended it yesterday when I had a meltdown in her office. I had been trying to wait to the next LC appt. I tried a Tommee Tippee bottle last night that I had from my shower. It was a slow flow nipple but he sucked the whole thing down in an instant, so I need to find extra slow flow today or a different brand.

I'm comfortable making an investment to make this successful, so any specific recs for making things work with the Spectra would be helpful.

[Muddled]

Huge hugs. Feeding issues are incredibly frustrating. It's just really really hard and it feels endless. It is not going to be easy, but you are going to get through it.

Congrats on your baby boy. I've been wondering.

[wanderingenough]

And now that I can think straight, a pic that doesn't include our last name.

POOF

[krystee]

He's adorable!!

[pooh8402]

So precious!

Big hugs to you! I don't have any advice others haven't already given.

[magpie]

He's adorable! Congratulations and huge hugs to you. It'll get easier eventually, but the early days are really hard.

[hbomdiggity]

Congrats!

But omg, that first week can just be rough... It gets better.

I remember buying anything from Amazon that may make it better.

And don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's ok to pump and it's ok to use formula. Most important is to do whatever works for a happy momma and baby.

[Deleted]

Oct 24, 2015 12:11:21 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

Congrats!

And don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's ok to pump and it's ok to use formula. Most important is to do whatever works for a happy momma and baby.

I wanted to gently echo this. I tried to EBF for the first week of DD's life and about made myself insane while doing it. She got fussy one night and my boobs were absolutely empty. We supplemented with formula and BAM! Whole new baby. We all slept, and it got us past a breaking point.

Formula can be a great tool to support breastfeeding. At this point, your survival is important. Use every tool available.

Hang in there; it's so hard!

[Muddled]

He's gorgeous!

[Pilsy]

Congratulations on the baby! I missed the pic.

I think everyone else has the advice covered. I just wanted to add, I think pretty much any feelings whatsoever are normal.

You're doing great. Don't let anyone - including yourself - tell you otherwise.

[lilac05]

Congrats! He's adorable!

Yes, it feels like 100 shades of crazy...and it's all pretty normal. There's no way to effectively warn new moms about what sleep deprivation can do to you. It does get better.

Please reach out for help. Accept all offers. Remember, ML is for rest, recovery, and bonding...NOT having more time to cook, clean, and do laundry. As long as everyone has something to eat & a clean pair of underwear, you're doing just fine. You'll eventually get back to a more normal routine for you, but don't worry about that right now.

I hope you're able to figure out a way to get a little rest. Give your H a bottle and some formula and go rest for a few hours. The boost in your mental & physical health will FAR outweigh whatever additional benefits your baby may have received if he had gotten that 2 oz of breast milk. Learning, recognizing, and respecting your limits are a key part of successful parenting.

Big hugs. It does get better...and sooner rather than later!

[oswin]

Congratulations! I'm sorry it's been so hard, others have given great advice already, so I'll just say good luck and I hope it gets easier soon.

[Pilsy]

I went back and found the pic. So cute!!