Baby is here/Already struggling

[namasteak]

He's gorgeous!

If you're near me (don't think you are) I'll swing buy with some food & booze for the grown ups and bottles for baby boy.

[jewel]

Congrats!

I just want to echo the others - what you are doing, dealing with, and feeling is SO SO SO normal. So normal.

My kid had a terrible time nursing. I always said that I'd be perfectly fine to switch to formula feeding, but I just couldn't do it in the moment. It was awful. For the first week, he wanted to nurse so often that I couldn't even take a shower without him screaming like a maniac. I had my aunt come over (who is a speech pathologist/feeding specialist/lactation consultant) to see if she could figure out what was wrong with him. I played it cool while she was there, and she talks fondly about meeting him that day and how great everything was, but it was, by far, my WORST DAY ever as a mom. No one warns you about the guilt associated with parenting. That feeling was totally overwhelming.

EPing adds an extra level of difficulty. I ended up EPing for the first 3 months, and it's tough. If I could go back in time, I would really ease up on the pumping. I was so obsessed with pumping as much as humanly possible, so that I could build up a stash and quit pumping sooner. I wish I would have just tried to pump enough for the day, and not worried beyond that. I would have gone longer between pumps, to get us out of the house more and to sleep more. My best advice is to just do the best you can, with a reasonable amount of effort, but don't kill yourself over the pump (or maybe that's just me...).

Buy at least 2 more sets of pumping parts, and tons of extra bottles. We were set up to only do baby dishes 1x/day (which my H did when he got home) and that worked out well. If your nipples are sore, buy several different types of creams and those gel pads. Really, just buy whatever you can to make your life any amount easier or more comfortable.

Hang in there. I promise it gets easier and better!

ETA - these were my best pumping addition. I stuck reusable heat pads into the hand-free bra. It helped the milk flow more quickly and easily.

www.amazon.com/Hand-Warmers-HotSnapZ-Reusable-Pocket/dp/B004CV2YXE/ref=pd_sim_sbs_121_3?ie=UTF8&dpID=51vHCyasuQL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR160%2C160_&refRID=14XF5CFVYC64QV4Y97KS

[luv2rn4fun]

Congratulations! He's so precious!

The first week is especially hard. It does get better. I will be praying you get answers from the LC next week. Lean on anyone and everyone, especially your DH. You guys are a team and will get through this. So many ((hugs)).

[Deleted]

Oct 24, 2015 10:30:45 GMT -5 wanderingenough said:

@kcpokergal - Thanks for all the tips. I'm sure I'll have lots of questions if I keep this up. I actually have a Spectra S2 that I got through insurance, but the hospital LC told me I needed to rent the Symphony so that's what I have been using. Do you think it would make sense to just switch to the Spectra now since that's what I'll need parts for, etc?

I ordered the 2 simple wishes bra and just got it yesterday, so that has been really helpful.

I'm fine switching to a bottle at this point. The pediatrician actually recommended it yesterday when I had a meltdown in her office. I had been trying to wait to the next LC appt. I tried a Tommee Tippee bottle last night that I had from my shower. It was a slow flow nipple but he sucked the whole thing down in an instant, so I need to find extra slow flow today or a different brand.

I'm comfortable making an investment to make this successful, so any specific recs for making things work with the Spectra would be helpful.

I love my Spectra. The Symphony damaged my nipples. I would recommend trying both and seeing which you personally prefer.

What size parts do you use? If size 24, just try them both with the parts they came with for a couple of days. For the Spectra you can either use Spectra parts or use an extra set of Medela tubing to hack it.

Here's a video that shows how. You need an extra set of Medela tubing. You can get it for $8 on Amazon. m.youtube.com/watch?v=v3aI96MJeDQ

[patches31709]

Oct 24, 2015 8:12:38 GMT -5 incogneato said:

Congratulations and big hugs! It gets better it gets better it gets better, I promise.

This. I didn't have a true newborn at home, but once she did come home it was so hard. It does get better, it really really does. I EPd...it's a hard road. I had 3 sets of pump parts, so they could pile up and I could have multiple sets ready to go, especially in the middle of the night. 

[erbear]

Let me chime in on the "having a newborn sucks for a while" train. it's brutal, and having trouble feeding makes it feel a million times worse. I don't know how strongly you feel about breastfeeding, but there is nothing wrong with switching to formula if it saves your sanity. Hang in there, mama. It gets better.

[Deleted]

Hugs.  I'm a second timer EPer not by choice and it's really hard.  But also having a newborn is hard in general.  I struggle with pumping even now 15+ weeks out but I've resolved to just do the best I can which is the best advice I can give fellow new moms. If you need to EP or use formula or quit pumping just know that in the end everything will be okay. Hang in there and try to get some sleep.  Sleep really improves your state of mind.

[brandienee]

He is so beautiful.

I am so sorry you're having a rough time. I hope that things feel better soon. All I can offer are ((hugs)).

[awick14]

((Hugs)) we are always here when/if you need us.

[fashionx]

Congratulations and it will be OK and it will get better!

We also had to syringe feed DD the first week, she just wouldn't latch, either fell asleep or got frustrated with me and I felt terrible. The LC said syringe was better than a bottle, but then pedi said just use a bottle, and we did which was easier. On top of that no one told me about nipple shields, DH found out about it on the internet and we tried it and luckily she took to it on week 2.

I kept trying to wean her off the shield and at 3 months she finally did it. I really thought it was never going to happen.

Many hugs to you! The first week is so hard, I was very tired, frustrated, and sad about our feeding issues but it did improve!

Sent from my Moto X using Proboards.

[jorja]

Congratulations! He is so beautiful!

The first two weeks or so are really intense and really really hard. I thought I was going crazy.

Breastfeeding was really hard for us at first, but we're now still going strong at almost a year...sometimes it just takes a while to get down. And don't be afraid to give him some formula. It's amazing what a full tummy will do for baby's mood.

It gets so much better. The hormones calm down, you get into a routine, and things just start seeming so much more manageable.

Have your husband take the baby downstairs for a few hours and get some sleep. Then take a long shower. You will feel so much better.

[wanderingenough]

Thanks again, everyone. Really.