Baby is here/Already struggling

[wanderingenough]

So I haven't even gotten around to posting that I had my baby Tuesday, and here I am Saturday posting with tears in my eyes. I'm not sure what I'm looking for...maybe just a "that's totally normal." Sorry it's so long-winded.

I'm sure part of it is exhaustion. We got home Thursday and I've probably had 5 hours sleep total since then. Baby and I are struggling with breastfeeding which has led me to exclusive pumping. I've met with two lactation consultants and have another appt Tuesday, but in the meantime my life feels like syringe feed, pump, clean parts, 20 mins of rest, repeat. He has been up and inconsolable most of the night the two nights we have been home and I just sob thinking about doing it all alone when H goes back to work Monday. To top it all off, I'm engorged, sore, incontinent, and swollen all over.

[bananapancakes]

Congrats on your baby boy! I'm sorry you're struggling. The first few days are so tough. I love the pic but just wanted to let you know that his full name is there in case you wanted to edit it out.

[wanderingenough]

Oct 24, 2015 6:27:15 GMT -5 bananapancakes said:

Congrats on your baby boy! I'm sorry you're struggling. The first few days are so tough. I love the pic but just wanted to let you know that his full name is there in case you wanted to edit it out.

Thanks. I caught that as soon as I did it. Ugh...again, exhausted.

[bananapancakes]

And yes, I think everything you described is perfectly normal. I hope the LC on Tuesday can help you. I'm not a BF expert but have you tried a nipple shield to help him latch?

[ssmjlm]

First hugs.

Second don't wash your pump parts every time. Get a big ziplock and put them in the fridge. Wash once a day.

I hope the LC can help!

[minzy]

Congrats on the birth of your son! He is beautiful! I am sorry you are having a tough time. It does sound pretty normal five days out, though reach out for help (family, friends, doctor) if you feel you need it. Try to get in some naps this weekend. This early part is all about survival, so just try to take it one day (hour) at a time. Hugs!

[Jalapeñomel]

I'm sorry you're struggling.

I don't know if it makes you feel any better to hear that what you are experiencing is normal, but it doesn't mean it isn't hard as fuck.

Hang in there, it does get better.

[greycat]

((Hugs)) the first few days can be rough. Things got much better for me around 2 weeks.

You can refrigerate the pump parts between feelings and wash once a day. Make sure you get some extra parts so you don't have to wash everything as often. MH was in charge of washing pump parts for me which helped a lot.

There are some women who are very knowledgable about BFing if you want some help before the LCs visit again on Tuesday.

Can your H take the baby for an hour or two so you can rest? A little rest goes a long way in the early days.

Congratulations on your baby boy!

[jeaniebueller]

Congrats! I am sorry you are struggling. Can your husband take a longer shift so you can rest? I know pumping complicates that.

[daisy24342]

Congrats on your sweet baby! Hugs to you, no advice but I was in a similar situation and all I can say is it gets better. Do you have anyone who can come next week so you could take a nap after your husband goes back to work? The one thing I learned was to ask for help.

[spankswife]

Congratulations!!!

Ditto refrigerating pump parts in between.

Maybe try to keep offering the breast to see if he latches. Hopefully the LC can help soon!

It is totally normal to be overwhelmed. Can someone help you on Monday?

[mae141]

I'm sorry. It's so hard in the beginning. Definitely don't wash the pump parts every time; you can put them in the fridge like the pp mentioned. Hugs.

[starburst]

Congrats! I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now. Sleep deprivation really messes with you, then you throw in the crazy hormones, and it's no wonder that you're struggling. Big hugs to you.

[wanderingenough]

Thanks for all the hugs and tips. I already feel better with the reminder that it's normal to feel this way. We don't have any family around, but I do have some friends I may ask to even just keep me company for an hour here or there. My mom is coming in a couple weeks, so that will help too.

bananapancakes - I have tried a nipple shield. The LCs I saw in the hospital thought it was a combo of a poor latch and possible posterior tongue tie. Even with a nipple shield the pain is pretty unbearable.

greycat - I told my H last night I needed to get more parts. He has been handling all part cleaning and the majority of the diaper changes which is a big help. I definitely need an extra set of breastshields so I don't have to walk downstairs to the fridge in the middle of the night over and over. I also think one of the shields isn't the proper size, but I was trying to wait to meet with the LC to determine if that's the case.

[tiptoetulips]

I'm so sorry! I hope things get better soon! I have no wisdom but I'm thinking of you.

[bk1]

So many hugs. It is so, so hard in the beginning but it does get easier.

[elocrates]

Congratulations! Another vote for normal but awful. I totally remember feeling similarly overwhelmed and was unable to think through it clearly when I was so sleep deprived. Hugs to you.

[panicfoot]

Oh no:( I'm so sorry you're struggling. Congratulations on your little man!

[cricketwife]

Congrats on your sweet boy! I'm sorry, it is sooooo hard in the beginning.

[yellowbrkrd]

Congrats! I'm sorry you are struggling. As others said, you don't need to wash parts each time, just refrigerate them. Have your DH do the washing.

[Deleted]

Congrats! Sorry you're struggling. The early days and weeks can be so tough. I hope the LC is able to help!

[imimahoney]

I'm sorry you are struggling. If the LCS believe it is a posterior tongue tie get in to see a pediatric dentist as soon as you can. If they don't know any names just google your city, pediatric dentist, posterior tongue tie and some hits should come up. I'm in the Boston area and know of 3 specialists but that probably isn't help to you if you aren't close to here.

Good luck. Those first few days/weeks are especially hard. You are doing amazing.

[browneyedgirl9]

Congrats on the baby boy! Sending lots of hugs your way. The begining is soooo hard. It does get better!

[djc315]

Congrats & big hugs.

We had a similar start and I EP'ed for over a week. With the help of a lactation consultant and a nipple shield, we got him back in the breast quickly and it got much, much easier. There is hope!

[ECB]

I had almost the same exact experience.

First, to the tiredness.  Oh honey, ,yes.  It's UTTERLY exhausting.  I remember after we had been home for about 3 days, DSs doctor called just to check in.  I answered the phone, she asked how I was, and I literally just started crying. She said "Put your husband on the phone".  She told him to make sure, no matter what, that that night, I got 6 hours of straight sleep.  And he did, and it actually really helped.  Yes, I was trying to nurse, but at that point, not sleeping was NOT an option.

Then to the pumping - I EPd for 2 months.  My lactation consultant had us use a Haberman (sp?) nipple for his bottles because he was was having trouble sucking.  This nipple helps babies learn to suck.  At 8 weeks, I just randomly tried to BF him and BAM - it worked. I was shocked. 

But - I feel you on how rote and boring and TIRING EPing is.  On top of everything else, it just takes it out of you.

IT WILL GET BETTER.  IT WILL.  And I really do suggest trying to give yourself 6 hours to sleep.  Let one pumping session go.  You NEED sleep. 

[krystee]

The first week is SO HARD. The ILs came to visit on day 5 and they were seriously concerned about our zombie level of exhaustion. We were complete loopy and I was so emotional. I would just sob...sometimes with joy that we had a beautiful, healthy baby and sometimes with exhaustion and terror and fear that I would not be able to handle parenthood.

Rule #1: H washes all the pump parts (only need to do it once a day)

Also, consider trying split shifts. One of us took the baby 8 pm-1 am and the other took 1-6. I know you might not be able to sleep all five hours because you're EPing, but at least you can not have to worry about the baby for five hours.

[thebreakfastclub]

I didn't breastfeed, so I can't relate, but you need to rest for at least a couple of hours. The baby might be happier in the mornings, so take advantage.

[boiler717]

I'm so sorry, I hope things get better soon.

[noodleoo]

So many hugs! The first week home was the hardest by far! They are the most needy then and you feel like you have no idea what you are doing. Don't worry, it is normal! I cried a lot too, mostly from pure exhaustion. If you are pumping, can your H take over a feed and let you get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep? Once I started getting more sleep I felt so much better. Even 4 hours was a godsend after only getting 2 hours at a time. Don't worry, things will get better. Everything was better even just a week later.

[IrishBelle]

Congratulations on your baby boy!

I went through something similar with DD1. She was born at 36 weeks and feel asleep each time I tried to breast feed. So I would attempt to feed her, then hand her off to DH who would bottle feed pumped milk while I pumped. Could your DH do the syringe feeding?

Also, try to sleep whenever you can. If that means that other things around the house aren't getting done so be it. The first week is all about survival. As long as you are able to eat and sleep, everything else can wait.