UPDATED: Considering giving up breastfeeding

[water*drop]

Hugs. You're a great mom. How you feed your baby doesn't change that. I hope you heal quickly.

[jene]

Hugs

[mcfelix]

You have really had a rough time of it - I'm so sorry you've had to deal with these issues. no matter what, you are still a great mom.

[toutsuite]

Geez, that's a lot to go through. Whatever you decide is the right answer and you are not falling her. Huge hugs.

[azurely]

Hugs. You're a great mom, no matter what you decide.

[noodleskooze]

Hopefully I don't get flamed or ostracized for this, but I 100% think it's ok to "quit" on a bad day. Maybe not the first one, but as someone that never had a "good" day, I kept waiting for the non-bad day and stuck with something that made me miserable way longer than I should have. I regret that way more than the stopping itself.

[lilac05]

Oct 25, 2015 20:14:24 GMT -5 preppy said:

Oct 25, 2015 20:09:39 GMT -5 rugbywife said:

The same thing your friend had is likely what I will need. I'm pretty terrified of it.

Please don't be terrified.  This is what I had.  I actually kind of hope this is what happens for you tomorrow....it should end this once & for all.  You will feel 100% better as soon as you wake up from the procedure.  The difference absolutely amazed me!  I won't lie, the first few dressing changes hurt, but 1) they give you good pain meds to take ahead of time, 2) it doesn't hurt much more (if at all) than it does right now, 3) it's pretty quick, and 4) as soon as the wound starts to heal, it doesn't hurt at all.  My H ended up doing all of my dressing changes after the 1st week.  I could have done it, but it was his way of being involved, I guess.  

I continued nursing because I was actually terrified of weaning or pumping.  I wanted to do whatever I could to keep myself from ending up in that place again.  My head told me that nursing would be the way to avoid it.  I never pumped another single time.  I was actually terrified of pumping.  (NOT a justified fear.)  Nursing for me was easier than switching to formula, so that's why I did it.  I'm lazy, pure and simple.  Oh, and cheap.  There was no "ohhhh, but breast is best....blah blah blah."  Nope.  Pure logistics for me.  FWIW, I never had another minor clogged duct, much less mastitis again.

You need to do whatever it is that makes you happy.  The benefits of a happy, healthy mom FAR outweigh the benefits of breast milk vs formula.  Do what you need to do, and know that what is best for you IS best for the baby, too.  If you decide to nurse, I'm happy to share more of how that worked for me.  (A good friend had the same thing & had to wean from one side only, as hers was MRSA.  She was able nurse her first baby a little longer, only on one side.  When she had her second, the milk didn't last long on the affected side, and she had adequate supply on just one side.)  If you decide to switch to formula, be careful weaning, and then enjoy the added freedom.  Not one person will judge you for weaning after the nightmare you're experiencing!

No hugs, as I know you don't want to think of anyone getting near you.  Just hair pats, reassurance that you're going to be OK, and you've got a board full of support right here for you!

[namasteak]

Oct 25, 2015 20:58:55 GMT -5 noodleskooze said:

Hopefully I don't get flamed or ostracized for this, but I 100% think it's ok to "quit" on a bad day. Maybe not the first one, but as someone that never had a "good" day, I kept waiting for the non-bad day and stuck with something that made me miserable way longer than I should have. I regret that way more than the stopping itself.

No flames here & think this is a great point!

[sewf]

Oct 25, 2015 20:58:55 GMT -5 noodleskooze said:

Hopefully I don't get flamed or ostracized for this, but I 100% think it's ok to "quit" on a bad day. Maybe not the first one, but as someone that never had a "good" day, I kept waiting for the non-bad day and stuck with something that made me miserable way longer than I should have. I regret that way more than the stopping itself.

I had the same experience. I wanted to do it. Hell, I wanted to WANT to continue. But when every day is a bad day, you have to do what is best for you and your family. And that includes you being healthy and happy.

I breastfed for about two months, then combo fed for a couple of months. The relief I felt when we went straight FF was amazing. I quit because of low supply. And as a PP said, could I have done more to up my supply? Definitely. But at that point the stress of breastfeeding had gotten to me, and I was fine with formula. I was much happier.

All that to say, you don't have to continue if you are in pain and unhappy. Your baby will be great eaither way. And hey, no more ER trips for you!

[preppy]

lilac05 was your supply on that side effected? As it is DD nurses twice as long on the bad side as she does on the good side, and my pump output is atleast twice as much on the good side. I assume it's because so much of it is clogged/backed up? I'm wondering if I was able to and did decide to continue if the supply would go back to normal on that side.

[greycat]

preppy I had recurrent mastitis (not the same I know) and I did see a drop in my affected side. However eventually it rebounded and went back to normal (which meant it produced slightly more than the non-affected side).

[fashionx]

Just want to give you hugs and no matter what you decide, S will be OK and you're a great mom! Best of luck with the procedure itself and healing.

Sent from my Moto X using Proboards.

[litasail]

Oct 25, 2015 21:21:45 GMT -5 preppy said:

lilac05 was your supply on that side effected? As it is DD nurses twice as long on the bad side as she does on the good side, and my pump output is atleast twice as much on the good side. I assume it's because so much of it is clogged/backed up? I'm wondering if I was able to and did decide to continue if the supply would go back to normal on that side.

It's pretty common to have a "stud and a dud" - e.g. one side that greatly outproduces the other (twice as much is not uncommon). So I would think it might go up a bit, but probably not that significantly.

Hugs to you - this sounds like an incredibly difficult situation. I hope you feel better - all around - asap.

[lilac05]

Oct 25, 2015 21:21:45 GMT -5 preppy said:

lilac05 was your supply on that side effected? As it is DD nurses twice as long on the bad side as she does on the good side, and my pump output is atleast twice as much on the good side. I assume it's because so much of it is clogged/backed up? I'm wondering if I was able to and did decide to continue if the supply would go back to normal on that side.

I don't think it was, long term.  I never pumped again, so I have no way of measuring.  Right after the procedure, I made sure to feed off of that side first, to keep from getting engorged.  Eventually I stopped doing that.

My supply was significantly affected while I had the clog/abscess.  He couldn't get much out because of the clog, and wasn't able to get a good latch because of how misshapen my breast was.  That all stopped immediately post-surgery.

My friend's supply stayed low after her second pregnancy, but went back to normal (I think) with her third.  Every situation is different.

[achi]

Big hugs. Stella will be fine no matter what you decide to do!

[jorja]

You're not selfish and you are not failing.

You don't need to make any decisions now, though. Take it day by day.

[pooh8402]

*hugs*

Whatever you decide, we'll support you in your decision. I'm sorry you're going through all of this.

[lolo]

I know someone who went through this situation and decided to wean entirely. She wrote about it on her blog. Would you like the link?

[july]

I am sorry. You are a great mom to your daughter regardless of how you feed her. Give it some time to decide. I find it helpful to track each day and then go with the feeling that i have most often.

[noodleoo]

Oh man, preppy, that sounds awful! I'm so sorry. I hope the procedure goes well and resolves your issue. I just wanted to add that you've done an awesome job! Personally, I feel like the first few weeks are the most important for breastfeeding. You have done great and making it 5 weeks is huge! Do whatever feels right for you and no guilt whatsoever!

[brandienee]

I am so sorry. I agree with everyone. Give yourself some time to decide. But don't feel bad for prioritizing your sanity.

((So much hugs))

[preppy]

Oct 25, 2015 21:51:11 GMT -5 lolo said:

I know someone who went through this situation and decided to wean entirely. She wrote about it on her blog. Would you like the link?

I would love that! Thank you.

[lolo]

Oct 25, 2015 22:42:32 GMT -5 preppy said:

Oct 25, 2015 21:51:11 GMT -5 lolo said:

I know someone who went through this situation and decided to wean entirely. She wrote about it on her blog. Would you like the link?

I would love that! Thank you.

Ygpm.

[wanderingenough]

Hugs!

[shelbyann]

Big hugs. That sounds so painful and miserable.

You are not a failure, no matter what you decide!

[boiler717]

I'm sorry, preppy. That sounds really difficult. I hope the procedure goes well. Your daughter will be loved and well cared for no matter how she is fed.

[leonard131]

Hugs. It is hard to have to make that decision. I stopped at 6 weeks due to low supply and while at the time I felt guilty for a few days in the end I kept remembering that it is a two way street. Your sanity and comfort also plays a big role. I thing @marshmallows said it very well - it is a small slice of parenting. Of course now it does seem huge but in the grand scheme it won't .

[oceanstbride]

Lots of hugs. Everyone has great advice. I hope that if you do have to have the I&D that you feel better really soon.

[preppy]

Thanks everyone, my appointment is at 1 I will update afterward.

[preppy]

Bumped for update.