Wednesday Randoms

[GilliC]

I thought about posting in the Tuesday thread, but why not just go ahead and start the Wednesday one...

We're having a small team re-org starting next week, and I'm excited because our weakest team member is moving to our other project.

Also, it was cold enough here today that I wore a wool layer under my jeans, and it reminded me of how much I need to get back in shape. There's some serious muffin top hiding under my loose, bulky sweater!

[abcdefu]

Jan 6, 2016 7:14:36 GMT -5 GilliC said:

I thought about posting in the Tuesday thread, but why not just go ahead and start the Wednesday one...

We're having a small team re-org starting next week, and I'm excited because our weakest team member is moving to our other project.

Also, it was cold enough here today that I wore a wool layer under my jeans, and it reminded me of how much I need to get back in shape. There's some serious muffin top hiding under my loose, bulky sweater!

This is why I was so upset that it was 70 degrees here (in the Northeast)on Christmas Day! No sweater to hid the muffin top!

I'm actually wearing pants today. They only have a clasp, no button (it may have fallen off)! My advice of the day: Never take your thumb for granted!

I don't remember if I posted this, but with a small portion of my Christmas bonus I treated myself to a Kindle. I have made a promise to myself tp read more and the Kindle is easier for me to hold and read than a book. Also, along the same line, I also have made a point to take a lunch break at work. I honestly cannot remember the last time I took a full hour to eat lunch and take a break. I have been bringing my Kindle to do some leisure reading during my breaks.

I also have decided that after my foot surgery, I'm going to by bike pedal to put under my desk at work so I can keep myself moving throughout the day.

One more random, I promise! I have been really focusing on the positives that have came out of all the shit I have been through the last 2 1/2 years. Before getting "sick" I was on a preventative antibiotics for over 20 years. If I got an infection I would switch to the other and lather, rinse, repeat.

After I got "sick", my new doctor was like "why the hell are you taking these? You are killing your immune system!" So I stopped taking them and added vitamins and a probiotic to my medication regimen. Well I am happy to report that I have successfully avoided 2 stomach viruses that 6 family members had, bronchitis that 3 family members had, and god knows what else. Prior to vitamins and probiotic, I would catch whatever was going around! Despite my weight and chronic pain symptoms, I feel really good. ::knocks on wood::

[glitzyglow]

Battling to get back into a positive mindset, but I'm getting there. I'm also back on the good-eating bandwagon after indulging for the past week. I'm going to do some Pilates/yoga tonight that doesn't involve ankle usage.

I am listening to Spotify radio and it keeps recommending Bieber songs...and I'm not hating it. Flameful, lol?

[bl]

abcdefu it sounds like you are in a great frame of mind right now and things are looking up!

I started journaling again last night. I got out of the habit when I started mostly sleeping on the couch again last year. I moved back into the bedroom and am trying to get back into a good nightly routine.

I need to have a conversation with Dallas sometime this week. My love language is definitely physical touch and we obviously don't get as much of that as I would like. I have been feeling a little blah this last week, but knew a visit would revitalize me. Well now with no visit I don't want that feeling to just keep growing. He isn't big on expressing his feelings, but shows he cares through actions. I can count on him like clock work to call me at certain times every day, he communicates well, he remembers things that are important to me and asks about them, he can tell if I am in a bad mood just by my voice, ect. However in the absence of physical affection I think I occasionally need him to vocalize his feelings. A little text of hey I was thinking about you and miss you or something along those lines I think would help a lot.

[stephreloaded]

Jan 6, 2016 9:38:33 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

Battling to get back into a positive mindset, but I'm getting there. I'm also back on the good-eating bandwagon after indulging for the past week. I'm going to do some Pilates/yoga tonight that doesn't involve ankle usage.

I am listening to Spotify radio and it keeps recommending Bieber songs...and I'm not hating it. Flameful, lol?

I like his latest songs! I really really like Sorry and I crack up every time I see the video because it has nothing to do with the song at all. 

[stephreloaded]

Jan 6, 2016 8:22:12 GMT -5 abcdefu said:

Jan 6, 2016 7:14:36 GMT -5 GilliC said:

I thought about posting in the Tuesday thread, but why not just go ahead and start the Wednesday one...

We're having a small team re-org starting next week, and I'm excited because our weakest team member is moving to our other project.

Also, it was cold enough here today that I wore a wool layer under my jeans, and it reminded me of how much I need to get back in shape. There's some serious muffin top hiding under my loose, bulky sweater!

This is why I was so upset that it was 70 degrees here (in the Northeast)on Christmas Day! No sweater to hid the muffin top!

I'm actually wearing pants today. They only have a clasp, no button (it may have fallen off)! My advice of the day: Never take your thumb for granted!

I don't remember if I posted this, but with a small portion of my Christmas bonus I treated myself to a Kindle. I have made a promise to myself tp read more and the Kindle is easier for me to hold and read than a book. Also, along the same line, I also have made a point to take a lunch break at work. I honestly cannot remember the last time I took a full hour to eat lunch and take a break. I have been bringing my Kindle to do some leisure reading during my breaks.

I also have decided that after my foot surgery, I'm going to by bike pedal to put under my desk at work so I can keep myself moving throughout the day.

One more random, I promise! I have been really focusing on the positives that have came out of all the shit I have been through the last 2 1/2 years. 

I need to remind myself of this as well. 

You have gone through a lot and it is really inspiring to see you being so positive!!

[TR]

Jan 6, 2016 10:21:58 GMT -5 bl said:

I need to have a conversation with Dallas sometime this week. My love language is definitely physical touch and we obviously don't get as much of that as I would like. I have been feeling a little blah this last week, but knew a visit would revitalize me. Well now with no visit I don't want that feeling to just keep growing. He isn't big on expressing his feelings, but shows he cares through actions. I can count on him like clock work to call me at certain times every day, he communicates well, he remembers things that are important to me and asks about them, he can tell if I am in a bad mood just by my voice, ect. However in the absence of physical affection I think I occasionally need him to vocalize his feelings. A little text of hey I was thinking about you and miss you or something along those lines I think would help a lot.

I had to have this talk with A. He's very much an actions person. He almost always takes care of cooking dinner, will make me coffee, get up with the dogs, he pays for everything, opens the car door, etc. But he does NOT express his feelings much. So I had to tell him that I know he assumes I know how he feels, and I DO, but I just need to hear/see "miss you" or "love you" sometimes since we don't see each other Mon - Thu. I did it mostly through jumping on the times he DID say that and responding really positively like, "I really love hearing that" or "It means a lot to me to hear that" stuff like that. Positive reinforcement

[bg]

Add me to the 'in a funk' list. I've tried to stay positive about everything but finalizing the divorce and finishing my dissertation at the same time is overwhelming. And it's hard to get out and see people or meet people when I should be writing all. the. time.

But today I'm definitely going to yoga and may meet a running group if the weather cooperates. Hopefully those things will help.

[TR]

(((hugs))) to those in a funk

[abcdefu]

glitzyglow- you are totes a Belieber!!
stephreloaded - it is so difficult to start taking full breaks. The other issue is that my coworkers need to understand that I am beginning to take my whole break, so hold my calls, take a message, etc.
bg - that sounds extremely stressful! Good luck with your dissertation!
bl - a good night routine makes a major difference for me. Even though I have a tv in my bedroom, I make a habit of shutting it off before falling asleep. Journaling is great before bed because you can leave your emotions, thoughts, stressors etc. on paper and most likely get a better quality of sleep!

[1confused1]

@32flavors why don't you get a restraining order against DB? He clearly has no boundaries.

[stephreloaded]

Jan 6, 2016 10:36:54 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

I'm feeling like a bit of a funk today. Douchebag has been emailing my friends. They usually know not to even tell me but one of the friends he emailed is also an employee. She sent it to me and I let it poke at my feelings. Not in a good way for him either. It made me so angry that he won't fucking go away, that he has rewritten his version of our history and that he is involving people around me.

She is blocking him and I have told the others to block or not block but I don't want to hear it. He says he is moving to my city. I find it creepy.

I have plans with ginger tonight. He's been out of the country for a month. He is moving to Chicago this week. That kinda sucks.

I woke up this morning just wishing I didn't always wake up alone. I have a great life 99 ways. I'm not even really lonely- I have friends and family around me and I'm always doing something. But I just wish I had that one thing. And I'm not optimistic about finding the right guy.

I must be living under a rock because I JUST realised who you are. 

[GilliC]

Jan 6, 2016 10:27:04 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Jan 6, 2016 8:22:12 GMT -5 abcdefu said:

This is why I was so upset that it was 70 degrees here (in the Northeast)on Christmas Day! No sweater to hid the muffin top!

I'm actually wearing pants today. They only have a clasp, no button (it may have fallen off)! My advice of the day: Never take your thumb for granted!

I don't remember if I posted this, but with a small portion of my Christmas bonus I treated myself to a Kindle. I have made a promise to myself tp read more and the Kindle is easier for me to hold and read than a book. Also, along the same line, I also have made a point to take a lunch break at work. I honestly cannot remember the last time I took a full hour to eat lunch and take a break. I have been bringing my Kindle to do some leisure reading during my breaks.

I also have decided that after my foot surgery, I'm going to by bike pedal to put under my desk at work so I can keep myself moving throughout the day.

One more random, I promise! I have been really focusing on the positives that have came out of all the shit I have been through the last 2 1/2 years. 

I need to remind myself of this as well. 

You have gone through a lot and it is really inspiring to see you being so positive!!

I think I need to make a resolution to leave at a reasonable hour! My life has taken a back burner to work for a while now, and I'm not taking care of myself!

[jojoandleo]

Yeah, it's harder to get a restraining order for stalking behavior than you would think. Remember my friend that had the dude calling her cell phone 20+ times a day, emailing her, showing up at her house, following her and the guy she is dating, and leaving her letters? NOT ENOUGH FOR AN RO! Because they never dated. She had to go to the police. Who called him and it actually put a stop to it. I think they mentioned what a stalking charge would do to his job in the military.

I just got an email about work reviews. I am terrified.

[1confused1]

Jan 6, 2016 13:10:29 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Jan 6, 2016 12:46:52 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

@32flavors why don't you get a restraining order against DB? He clearly has no boundaries.

One of the people he has been emailing is also my attorney. She's my friend and it's in that capacity that he has contacted her. I spoke with her about the RO idea today. At this point he isn't doing anything that would qualify. He can legally email other people, he can legally move anywhere he wants. If he shows up at my house or business I will give him the option to leave or I will call the cops. Also- he is no threat to me physically. Unless he makes a threat or something else there isn't anything I can do right now. 

He is unhinged but not dangerous. 

He is harassing you and your coworkers.  He had jewelry delivered to your house at Christmas AND created a new email address to get around the one you blocked.  You need to send a clearer message to this guy if you really want him out of your life.

[jojoandleo]

Jan 6, 2016 13:27:37 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Jan 6, 2016 13:10:29 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

One of the people he has been emailing is also my attorney. She's my friend and it's in that capacity that he has contacted her. I spoke with her about the RO idea today. At this point he isn't doing anything that would qualify. He can legally email other people, he can legally move anywhere he wants. If he shows up at my house or business I will give him the option to leave or I will call the cops. Also- he is no threat to me physically. Unless he makes a threat or something else there isn't anything I can do right now. 

He is unhinged but not dangerous. 

He is harassing you and your coworkers.  He had jewelry delivered to your house at Christmas AND created a new email address to get around the one you blocked.  You need to send a clearer message to this guy if you really want him out of your life.

Getting an RO is harder than you would think.  He has never threatened her or physically abused her.  Stalking takes a LOT to get an RO-see above.

People are always hard on her about this dude.  She has blocked him and told others to keep his shit to themselves.  Unless he does something more, there is literally nothing else she CAN do. 

[1confused1]

Jan 6, 2016 13:30:47 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jan 6, 2016 13:27:37 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

He is harassing you and your coworkers.  He had jewelry delivered to your house at Christmas AND created a new email address to get around the one you blocked.  You need to send a clearer message to this guy if you really want him out of your life.

Getting an RO is harder than you would think.  He has never threatened her or physically abused her.  Stalking takes a LOT to get an RO-see above.

People are always hard on her about this dude.  She has blocked him and told others to keep his shit to themselves.  Unless he does something more, there is literally nothing else she CAN do. 

You don't have to be threatened or physically abused to get an RO.  I know this because I have one.

I'm just asking because, for as long as I can remember, she has been complaining about how he is constantly harassing her.  I'm not being hard on her, I was just asking why she hasn't done something more concrete to get this guy to leave her alone.

[jojoandleo]

Jan 6, 2016 13:33:04 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Jan 6, 2016 13:30:47 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Getting an RO is harder than you would think.  He has never threatened her or physically abused her.  Stalking takes a LOT to get an RO-see above.

People are always hard on her about this dude.  She has blocked him and told others to keep his shit to themselves.  Unless he does something more, there is literally nothing else she CAN do. 

You don't have to be threatened or physically abused to get an RO.  I know this because I have one.

I'm just asking because, for as long as I can remember, she has been complaining about how he is constantly harassing her.  I'm not being hard on her, I was just asking why she hasn't done something more concrete to get this guy to leave her alone.

Oh, so your anecdotal experience in one specific area (where I have no idea why you got one, so I can't say how it may differ from this experience) means she can automatically get one?

I'm not saying she can't, but her ATTORNEY said she can't, I trust her over you.  Also, having JUST GONE THROUGH THIS in my state, it wasn't as simple as "homeboy won't stop contacting me."  You needed more.

So what "concrete" thing do you want her to do? 

[1confused1]

Jan 6, 2016 13:44:30 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jan 6, 2016 13:33:04 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

You don't have to be threatened or physically abused to get an RO.  I know this because I have one.

I'm just asking because, for as long as I can remember, she has been complaining about how he is constantly harassing her.  I'm not being hard on her, I was just asking why she hasn't done something more concrete to get this guy to leave her alone.

Oh, so your anecdotal experience in one specific area (where I have no idea why you got one, so I can't say how it may differ from this experience) means she can automatically get one?

I'm not saying she can't, but her ATTORNEY said she can't, I trust her over you.  Also, having JUST GONE THROUGH THIS in my state, it wasn't as simple as "homeboy won't stop contacting me."  You needed more.

So what "concrete" thing do you want her to do? 

WTH?  I was asking her a question.  She answered it above.

[jojoandleo]

Jan 6, 2016 13:27:37 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Jan 6, 2016 13:10:29 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

One of the people he has been emailing is also my attorney. She's my friend and it's in that capacity that he has contacted her. I spoke with her about the RO idea today. At this point he isn't doing anything that would qualify. He can legally email other people, he can legally move anywhere he wants. If he shows up at my house or business I will give him the option to leave or I will call the cops. Also- he is no threat to me physically. Unless he makes a threat or something else there isn't anything I can do right now. 

He is unhinged but not dangerous. 

He is harassing you and your coworkers.  He had jewelry delivered to your house at Christmas AND created a new email address to get around the one you blocked.  You need to send a clearer message to this guy if you really want him out of your life.

This is not "merely asking" it's kind of victim blaming.  "He's harassing you because you haven't done enough."  It annoyed me.  It also annoys me how everyone thinks you can get an RO as easy as you can pop down to the 7-11 for a Coke.

[Deleted]

Jan 6, 2016 13:34:50 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

1confused1 I can't legally get a RO. I understand what you are saying and I don't disagree that it's fucked up. It just isn't enough from a legal standpoint.

I'm sure your lawyer already thought about this, but is there some sort of cease contact letter she can draft? He is negatively impacting your reputation and livelihood by harassing your colleagues. I realize it may not stand up in any sort of way in say court, but would it send the right message maybe?

[Deleted]

I'm so so thankful that I've gotten on board and dedicated to keeping my house clean and organized. It's spotless and company ready at any time. Every morning I do a quick routine of swiffer, wiping down all major surfaces (counters, toilet, tables), emptying or staring the dishwasher if needed, and taking out trash/recycle if needed. I also have been opening my windows for a bit to get fresh air in and light a candle each morning. I blow it out at night. It's a really awesome ritual to start and end the day. Each day of the week I have one weekly chore like vaccuming or cleaning the tub. Then each week I have a monthly task like going through my cupboards and wiping them down.

It's been an amazing way to stay on top of things and I'm so happy and relaxed in my space. I'm surrounded by things I truly love and know that everything literally has an exact place has made staying organized a breeze. I've totally drank the Konmari koolaid and I don't even care. It's truly been lifechanging.

[1confused1]

Jan 6, 2016 13:50:55 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jan 6, 2016 13:27:37 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

He is harassing you and your coworkers.  He had jewelry delivered to your house at Christmas AND created a new email address to get around the one you blocked.  You need to send a clearer message to this guy if you really want him out of your life.

This is not "merely asking" it's kind of victim blaming.  "He's harassing you because you haven't done enough."  It annoyed me.  It also annoys me how everyone thinks you can get an RO as easy as you can pop down to the 7-11 for a Coke.

I didn't say that.  I asked a question, she answered.  Conversation over.

And I know it's not easy to get an RO.  But, I also know, if you if you want someone to stop contacting you, there are ways to do it.  My xh never threatened me or abused me, but, thankfully, I had tons of documentation of his harassment and was able to get an RO (despite my attorney thinking I wouldn't be able to).

[jojoandleo]

Okay. You are obviously an expert, then.

[1confused1]

Jan 6, 2016 14:16:56 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Okay. You are obviously an expert, then.

I'm not, never said I was, I just shared my experience.  

[bl]

jojoandleo so glad your friend was able to put a stop to that guy and that she finally did something.
@pdx18 I am glad the organizing has worked for you. I am such a pack rat and need to start letting go of some things, but I know I will never be like what you are describing. I signed up for a calendar that gives you a daily task to declutter and I scoffed at it wanting me to throw out makeup, so clearly I am not ready lol.

[Deleted]

bl the key is that this book doesn't tell you what you have to throw out, just only keep things that you really love. So if having that much make up makes you happy then great! The key is to go through ever single piece and ask if it truly sparks joy. Which sounds lame but it's really helpful. Things like might I use it in the future or I spent a lot of money on it aren't relevant. I would bet if you sat down with your make up there would be a few things you just aren't really into. It's about letting all the "meh" stuff go. Heck I have two boxes dedicated to nail polish. I threw out like one.

I don't have like a super minimalist house or anything. Stuff I love is out and displayed. But that's what's great the true gems of your posessins are around you and not clutter up by a weird figurine your aunt mertle gave to you that you feel bad throwing away.

[bl]

Jan 6, 2016 14:37:28 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

bl the key is that this book doesn't tell you what you have to throw out, just only keep things that you really love. So if having that much make up makes you happy then great! The key is to go through ever single piece and ask if it truly sparks joy. Which sounds lame but it's really helpful. Things like might I use it in the future or I spent a lot of money on it aren't relevant. I would bet if you sat down with your make up there would be a few things you just aren't really into. It's about letting all the "meh" stuff go. Heck I have two boxes dedicated to nail polish. I threw out like one.

I don't have like a super minimalist house or anything. Stuff I love is out and displayed. But that's what's great the true gems of your posessins are around you and not clutter up by a weird figurine your aunt mertle gave to you that you feel bad throwing away.

See that is my problem I am far too sentimental! I have boxes of pictures that I legit enjoy sitting down and going through a few times a year. Things that friends or even my team from work got me I would feel awful getting rid of, but then I know keeping it stored in some random drawer isn't meaningful either.  I have several designer purses that I know deep down I will never use again because I just never do, but the idea of getting rid of them feels so final. If I get rid of that green eye shadow I have never used, but then there is a green eye shadow challenge day on the MUB I will have to go buy a new one.  I know it is totally ridiculous, but I get serious anxiety thinking about throwing away that kind of stuff, because what if. I have gotten better over the last year and did throw away some stuff I never thought I would, so maybe baby steps is what I will have to do.

[stephreloaded]

Jan 6, 2016 13:26:41 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Yeah, it's harder to get a restraining order for stalking behavior than you would think. Remember my friend that had the dude calling her cell phone 20+ times a day, emailing her, showing up at her house, following her and the guy she is dating, and leaving her letters? NOT ENOUGH FOR AN RO! Because they never dated. She had to go to the police. Who called him and it actually put a stop to it. I think they mentioned what a stalking charge would do to his job in the military.

I just got an email about work reviews. I am terrified.

Say what now? This is completely crazy. 

[jojoandleo]

Jan 6, 2016 14:57:01 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Jan 6, 2016 13:26:41 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Yeah, it's harder to get a restraining order for stalking behavior than you would think. Remember my friend that had the dude calling her cell phone 20+ times a day, emailing her, showing up at her house, following her and the guy she is dating, and leaving her letters? NOT ENOUGH FOR AN RO! Because they never dated. She had to go to the police. Who called him and it actually put a stop to it. I think they mentioned what a stalking charge would do to his job in the military.

I just got an email about work reviews. I am terrified.

Say what now? This is completely crazy. 

Yup.  If they had had a relationship and broken up, this evidence would have been enough, but because they had no romantic relationship, she HAD to have a police report.  Which is sad, because the reason he turned crazy was she told him she didn't want to date him.  So it was all related to the same thing-him wanting a relationship and her rejecting him.  It is a weird sticking point.