So, are we talking about that MMM thread..

[miso]

Jan 25, 2016 17:02:46 GMT -5 sfy said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:01:25 GMT -5 miso said:

@booby  is equal-opportunity when it comes to callouts.

Let's not be ridiculous here.

At the risk of angering the 0.004%, I will stand by this.

You know my adoration for you runs deep, but please see the above. 

And you know the feeling is mutual.

But I disagree on this one. I really do.

[dowagercountess]

I get offended when people call me scary, largely because it's not a word I see applied to white women very often.

[sfy]

Jan 25, 2016 17:04:57 GMT -5 miso said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:02:46 GMT -5 sfy said:

You know my adoration for you runs deep, but please see the above. 

And you know the feeling is mutual.

But I disagree on this one. I really do.

All the more reason I'm thinking I should post that poll.  Let's see what booby thinks.

[konapoppy]

From an outsider's perspective, Kirkette just comes across as someone who doesn't give a shit anymore, isn't going to edit her posts because of your feelings, and has too much time on her hands due to the transition to being the SAHM/CEO/CFO/CHRO/Philanthropist of her household. She comes across as no more braggy than other posters who are notorious for it here. I can see where if she had been my friend, the shift would be noticeable and maybe hurtful at times, but she has been upfront about what she is doing. It doesn't read crazy to me, and I can follow the majority of her posts.

[daisybuchannan]

Jan 25, 2016 16:45:44 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Jan 25, 2016 16:33:23 GMT -5 daisybuchannan said:

What's the dress? I must have missed the pic. 

I do recall you posting a picture of diabetic socks that you mistakenly purchased but then wore to work like it was normal. 

Soooo I'm gonna need to see a pic of the dress. 

LOL. Apparently those were boot tights and I wore them sans boots. I thought it was like a new thing. Instead I locked myself in my office all day.

This is the LLR dress I posted in the other thread.

You're a good sport. This dress is not at all offensive and I wouldn't peg it for a LLR.

I think that cut is the best of them- some of the dress and skirt cuts are tragic.

[eclaires]

Jan 25, 2016 16:59:47 GMT -5 miso said:

Hey, I tried to get everybody to unite over Lula Roe hatred.

But that vocal minority.

Man.

I keep typing and deleting.  Lularoe fans...I just think they need new people validating their fashion choices.  There is no way people really think those patterns look good!  I refuse to believe that.  The solids might be fine, I don't know.  But I've not seen a good pattern.  Not one!

[miso]

This Lula Roe dress is the Pio Pio chicken of this thread.

[daisybuchannan]

Jan 25, 2016 17:10:40 GMT -5 miso said:

This Lula Roe dress is the Pio Pio chicken of this thread.

C'mon, I called out NQB and felt the need to at least let her know that the LLR dress was not diabetic sock level. 

Although she said they were boot socks and I'm still confused as to why they were white. 

[underwaterrhymes]

Jan 25, 2016 17:05:52 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

I get offended when people call me scary, largely because it's not a word I see applied to white women very often.

I lied about not touching anything else.

People call toledo scary a lot and might use this as an example of why calling a black woman (or three black women) scary isn't offensive.

And I'm fairly certain @booby didn't mean it in a racist way.

Nonetheless, because scary and angry are traits that have been ascribed to black women throughout history, this is a good example of a microaggression. What @koko and sfy and dowagercountess are saying is valid.

[miso]

Jan 25, 2016 17:12:49 GMT -5 daisybuchannan said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:10:40 GMT -5 miso said:

This Lula Roe dress is the Pio Pio chicken of this thread.

C'mon, I called out NQB and felt the need to at least let her know that the LLR dress was not diabetic sock level. 

Although she said they were boot socks and I'm still confused as to why they were white. 

Oh, no.

I like any and all anti-Lula-Roe talk.

Keep it going!

It's a public service!

[sfy]

Jan 25, 2016 17:13:47 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:05:52 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

I get offended when people call me scary, largely because it's not a word I see applied to white women very often.

I lied about not touching anything else.

People call toledo scary a lot and might use this as an example of why calling a black woman (or three black women) scary isn't offensive.

And I'm fairly certain @booby didn't mean it in a racist way.

Nonetheless, because scary and angry are traits that have been ascribed to black women throughout history, this is a good example of a microaggression. What @koko and sfy and dowagercountess are saying is valid.

And this is the only reason why I got involved in any of this fuckery.  Thank you.

[dowagercountess]

Jan 25, 2016 17:16:30 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:13:47 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

I lied about not touching anything else.

People call toledo scary a lot and might use this as an example of why calling a black woman (or three black women) scary isn't offensive.

And I'm fairly certain @booby didn't mean it in a racist way.

Nonetheless, because scary and angry are traits that have been ascribed to black women throughout history, this is a good example of a microaggression. What @koko and sfy and dowagercountess are saying is valid.

Yeah, it certainly make sense. (And I was thinking of toledo as an example - sorry Toledo! lol.) But if Booby didn't mean it in a racist way BUT she does think they are a little scary (whatever she means by that)... what does she say here?

Maybe she examines why she chose scary instead of crazy here? Maybe she says nothing? Maybe she figures out what it is about her that allows her to be afraid of these women? Maybe she puts the onus on herself instead of them? 

[dowagercountess]

Jan 25, 2016 17:22:37 GMT -5 toledo said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:19:34 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

Maybe she examines why she chose scary instead of crazy here? Maybe she says nothing? Maybe she figures out what it is about her that allows her to be afraid of these women? Maybe she puts the onus on herself instead of them? 

Would "crazy" have really been better? if she had seemed to lump together three black women (who were the three people calling her out in that thread) and called them all crazy, would that not also have been taken the same way?

I picked crazy because she has called other people crazy - not because I think it would be better. 

[underwaterrhymes]

Jan 25, 2016 17:16:30 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:13:47 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

I lied about not touching anything else.

People call toledo scary a lot and might use this as an example of why calling a black woman (or three black women) scary isn't offensive.

And I'm fairly certain @booby didn't mean it in a racist way.

Nonetheless, because scary and angry are traits that have been ascribed to black women throughout history, this is a good example of a microaggression. What @koko and sfy and dowagercountess are saying is valid.

Yeah, it certainly make sense. (And I was thinking of toledo as an example - sorry Toledo! lol.) But if Booby didn't mean it in a racist way BUT she does think they are a little scary (whatever she means by that)... what does she say here?

Well, hopefully she would say, well, shit. I didn't think about that and I'm sorry. I'll try to do better. Also, I think - being the type of community we are - we all tend to say things without thinking about the consequences or the implications. I've been guilty of it for sure.

Stuff like this does tend to make people feel defensive because microagressions are usually unintentional and we have been taught that if someone doesn't say the n-word and supports equality, they aren't racist. But intent doesn't really have anything to do with racism. You can contribute to racism without meaning to and not be a racist and when that happens you have to pretty much take what you're hearing and not make the mistake again.

[dowagercountess]

Jan 25, 2016 17:24:42 GMT -5 toledo said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:23:41 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

I picked crazy because she has called other people crazy - not because I think it would be better. 

then why does she need to examine why she chose "scary" instead of "crazy"?  Is it about the word choice or not?

Because she typically uses crazy, and chose scary in this case. 

[dowagercountess]

Jan 25, 2016 17:26:08 GMT -5 @booby said:

And wow at some of you.

I am pretty sure this intended for me, and please note that I did not direct it at you. I said what is my truth about that choice of words. 

[MarmeeNoir]

Jan 25, 2016 17:19:34 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:16:30 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Yeah, it certainly make sense. (And I was thinking of toledo as an example - sorry Toledo! lol.) But if Booby didn't mean it in a racist way BUT she does think they are a little scary (whatever she means by that)... what does she say here?

Maybe she examines why she chose scary instead of crazy here? Maybe she says nothing? Maybe she figures out what it is about her that allows her to be afraid of these women? Maybe she puts the onus on herself instead of them? 

Crazy does not equal scary.

Eta: I see this has been addressed.

[dowagercountess]

Jan 25, 2016 17:28:43 GMT -5 MarmeeNoir said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:19:34 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

Maybe she examines why she chose scary instead of crazy here? Maybe she says nothing? Maybe she figures out what it is about her that allows her to be afraid of these women? Maybe she puts the onus on herself instead of them? 

Crazy does not equal scary.

Yes, we covered this. 

[cleo29]

The only people on this board who have ever scared me or at the very least could put me on edge were Amber and IMMM. While yes, you knew they could be cutting and mean, you just never knew when or why or who would get it.

To me, a person who can be that way, unpredictable and honestly, incredibly mean, with little provocation goes into the scary category for me.

[MarmeeNoir]

Jan 25, 2016 17:30:08 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

Jan 25, 2016 17:28:43 GMT -5 MarmeeNoir said:

Crazy does not equal scary.

Yes, we covered this. 

I saw that, I was typing my reply while other people answering.

I don't like being called scary either.

[underwaterrhymes]

Jan 25, 2016 17:28:01 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I'm sure Booby has called other people here scary before too.

I regret not choosing my words more carefully.  (wilted)

Well, and look. I don't think @booby is racist and I don't think you are either.

And if someone calls me angry, I'm like, "well, yeah. I haven't been sleeping well and I'm kind of hungry so I guess I am angry!" so that's the perspective that I'm coming from.

But a black woman has a whole different experience with that word being used to describe her. So even if someone says it and has humorous or harmless intentions, it's not necessarily going to be perceived that way.

[miso]

Does anybody ACTUALLY THINK @booby is racist?

Seriously.

I do not.

I understand the concept of microaggressions. I understand that a black woman may perceive (and has the right to perceive) these descriptions however she wants to.

But are you all really skewering @booby for word choice?

Or do your issues run deeper than this?

Because the threat of posting a poll about how a group feels about one poster is a pretty low blow in my book.

[dowagercountess]

Jan 25, 2016 17:38:19 GMT -5 miso said:

Does anybody ACTUALLY THINK @booby is racist?

Seriously.

I do not.

I understand the concept of microaggressions. I understand that a black woman may perceive (and has the right to perceive) these descriptions however she wants to.

But are you all really skewering @booby for word choice?

Or do your issues run deeper than this?

Because the threat of posting a poll about how a group feels about one poster is pretty low in my book.

I do not. But I would be offended if someone called me scary. 

[miso]

Jan 25, 2016 17:37:13 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

If anyone here for real scares me, they will never know because I'm too scared to speak it.

There there.

[Deleted]

Jan 25, 2016 17:38:19 GMT -5 miso said:

Does anybody ACTUALLY THINK @booby is racist?

Seriously.

I do not.

I understand the concept of microaggressions. I understand that a black woman may perceive (and has the right to perceive) these descriptions however she wants to.

But are you all really skewering @booby for word choice?

Or do your issues run deeper than this?

Because the threat of posting a poll about how a group feels about one poster is a pretty low blow in my book.

It's more than just this one post.

People are just speaking their mind.

Eta: I don't think she is racist, but I'm not sorry about the multiple call outs, which I'm saying aren't just due to the use of scary in this post. It's just a culmination of feelings.

[miso]

Ok, got it.

Nobody likes being called scary. I'm pretty sure of that. Nobody. Even toledo!

But it is worse when you are a black woman and you get called scary.

Is this too simplistic? (I omitted all the history, rationale, etc. that has already been discussed above.)

[dowagercountess]

Jan 25, 2016 17:45:28 GMT -5 miso said:

Ok, got it.

Nobody likes being called scary. I'm pretty sure of that. Nobody. Even toledo !

But it is worse when you are a black woman and you get called scary.

Is this too simplistic? (I omitted all the history, rationale, etc. that has already been discussed above.)

Yep. I also hate being called articulate. 

[miso]

You know you're actually scary when toledo says you're scary.

[cleo29]

Jan 25, 2016 17:45:28 GMT -5 miso said:

Ok, got it.

Nobody likes being called scary. I'm pretty sure of that. Nobody. Even toledo !

But it is worse when you are a black woman and you get called scary.

Is this too simplistic? (I omitted all the history, rationale, etc. that has already been discussed above.)

I love that you write things very succinctly. Meanwhile I am a rambling mess. lol

[05heel]

So we're not doing the poll?