lol, tinybride deleted.

[rosiebear]

Jan 26, 2016 10:08:00 GMT -5 @aliciaroset said:

you guys, all your bodies are awesome and amazing.

Yes.  Thanks for this.  My body moves and functions and feels in amazing ways.  It's not the feminine ideal, but it's strong and functioning and I can make it even stronger, with effort, and I'm grateful for all of that. 

I also have other things to bring to the table.  Looks, frankly, aren't one of them,  but that's okay, almost all of the time.  Posts like Tinybride's are obnoxious because she's certain that we all want so badly to look the way she looks and that it would be worth whatever discomfort, hunger, cost, or inconvenience it would take to get us there.  Ick. 

[kaybee85]

Jan 26, 2016 10:11:56 GMT -5 lovelyshoes said:

Jan 26, 2016 10:02:47 GMT -5 themysteriouswife said:

Exactly. She made it like we (all women) did something wrong if we weren't back in shape. It made me feel like shit

The tone is what annoyed me. She's told us before and she is telling us Again! Wtf? Thanks Kim K for your scientific enlightenment for those who care about their stomachs post baby. Wear a corset for 2-3 weeks after giving birth and magically get abs! Don't forget to carry your baby around as exercise!

Exactly. It didn't hurt my feelings because if I'm being real, I have been eating like shit (although I do run 14 miles a week grr). My reaction was more, Bitch please to her tone. Reminds me of my dad who literally could eat a bag of chips in a sitting with no weight gain trying to give people weight loss advice. Dude. Stop.

[lovelyshoes]

Jan 26, 2016 10:16:54 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Don't flit in here every few weeks looking to get pats on the back when you aren't extending your own arm to pat others in return and then be shocked when people call you out on it. This is a community.

And sure as shit don't show off your genetically blessed stomach in a thinly veiled effort to get compliments and imply (or outright state) something like:

This is TinyBride!
TinyBride wore a belly band for two weeks after she had a baby!
TinyBride has flat abs now!
TinyBride is smart!
Be like TinyBride!

That's not just AWing or bragging (which can be annoying even with frequent or well-liked posters). I AW enough and am self aware enough to know that I've undoubtedly caused a few eyes to roll.

But what happened in her post was just hurtful.

FWIW, I am wicked short and could wear four of those fucking bands and it wouldn't matter because I have separated abs from this last pregnancy. I am still going to rock a fucking bikini this summer. Or at least a tankini. (But not The Suit because that was tragic on me.)

Exactly this! I still wear a bikini and F anyone who doesn't like it. They can look the other way. I've never had the "desirable" body. I've always had a big behind that got me teased as a teen, more by effin "perfect" girls than even boys. It took me years to be comfortable in my skin and this shit that she posted just annoyed me for anyone who is still working through their stuff. You look good/feel good, good for you! You don't need to tell the rest of us some bull over and over again.

[cleo29]

I think the hard part about being a new mom or just a mom in general, is giving yourself the OK to make the time for yourself. Also, is your spouse able or willing to be supportive of this or is that one more roadblock?

I think that can be one of the tougher things, just letting yourself be OK with doing something just for you, putting yourself first, even if for only 30 minutes a day.

It took me years to get there myself.

[Muddled]

Fuck that. I gained a third of my body weight. I earned my water bed belly.

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2016 10:18:58 GMT -5 rosiebear said:

Jan 26, 2016 10:08:00 GMT -5 @aliciaroset said:

you guys, all your bodies are awesome and amazing.

Yes.  Thanks for this.  My body moves and functions and feels in amazing ways.  It's not the feminine ideal, but it's strong and functioning and I can make it even stronger, with effort, and I'm grateful for all of that. 

I also have other things to bring to the table.  Looks, frankly, aren't one of them,  but that's okay, almost all of the time.  Posts like Tinybride's are obnoxious because she's certain that we all want so badly to look the way she looks and that it would be worth whatever discomfort, hunger, cost, or inconvenience it would take to get us there.  Ick. 

Hey, don't be so hard on yourself!
We're all fabulous in our own way.

And nope, I don't want to be a petite white woman with long straight hair. I'm perfectly happy being strong, muscular, overweight with brown skin and an afro.

Bye Felicia to her so called standard of beauty.

We're all beautiful, not just on the inside, even on the outside.  

[pantsparty]

Being bummed out your hair has fallen after you boarded a private jet while wearing a hot, tight dress while pregnant is a great case of, "My diamond shoes are too tight!!!"

My diamond curling iron doesn't resist humidity?

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2016 10:30:25 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

I think the hard part about being a new mom or just a mom in general, is giving yourself the OK to make the time for yourself. Also, is your spouse able or willing to be supportive of this or is that one more roadblock?

I think that can be one of the tougher things, just letting yourself be OK with doing something just for you, putting yourself first, even if for only 30 minutes a day.

It took me years to get there myself.

I have JUST started doing this and my youngest turns 3 this weekend. 


It is the biggest thing I struggle with and I constantly put everyone in my houses needs before my own. 

Last week I joined the Y, and H is being very supportive. I am such a better person/mom when I take time for myself. But taking the first step to actually take that time is really hard. 


ETA: And most of my guilt comes from being a working mom. I already feel like I take so much time from them to begin with. But - I need time too. 

[jojoandleo]

Jan 26, 2016 10:13:43 GMT -5 papie said:

Jan 26, 2016 10:11:56 GMT -5 lovelyshoes said:

The tone is what annoyed me. She's told us before and she is telling us Again! Wtf? Thanks Kim K for your scientific enlightenment for those who care about their stomachs post baby. Wear a corset for 2-3 weeks after giving birth and magically get abs! Don't forget to carry your baby around as exercise!

It reminded me of that girl who posted a picture of herself on social media with her killer body and three young kids with the hashtag "what's your excuse?".  Um, bitch, I have a real job that doesn't involve working out all day but mostly sitting on my fat ass.  

I hate all of the "what's your excuse" posts.  I see them all the time.  My excuse is fuck you.

[curtains]

Jan 26, 2016 10:11:36 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

I have to admit, I'm sick to death of feeling badly about myself. Never being thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, a good enough mom, spouse, employee, etc.
I'm fucking over it. I'm exhausted.

I found this and hit me like a ton of bricks:

I so needed this today.  You are beautiful and wonderful and I don't even "know" you except for here.  
Thank you for sharing, I just saved it to my desktop

[cleo29]

Jan 26, 2016 10:40:50 GMT -5 mooselovah said:

Ok off topic but the thing the I hate, is you can work out at 6 weeks. Your body should be back to normal by 3 months.

Fuck that.

I had so much damage from my first delivery I wasn't allowed to do more than walk for 14 weeks.

Yes, I got my body back by a year --- but I felt like a failure because I wasn't doing the guidelines. I wish people would have been there to tell me it was bs.

You can work out, but you also have to be careful. Your bones have been leeched of calcium and your tendons are all loose and will take time to get better.

Everyone just has to be kind to themselves. And for those who bounce back seemingly overnight, need to be aware that they are the exception, not the norm.

[autumnfire]

Jan 26, 2016 7:44:29 GMT -5 smock said:

And her response to the feedback that she was making people feel worthless included "some people care about their stomachs and some people don't care about their stomachs."

Talk about tone deaf.

Serious? Fuck that shit... Wish I would have seen it.

[cbwm1]

Jan 26, 2016 10:11:36 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

I have to admit, I'm sick to death of feeling badly about myself. Never being thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, a good enough mom, spouse, employee, etc.
I'm fucking over it. I'm exhausted.

I found this and hit me like a ton of bricks:

It's taken me a long time to get here, but I finally am at peace with being fat.

Does it mean I'll never try to lose weight? Absolutely not. I'm attempting to lose weight now. And despite my size, I actually quite healthy - BP is fabulous, blood sugar is fabulous, cholesterol is fabulous, etc. My doctor has told me I'm a bit of an anomaly. ha!

But I am SO TIRED of trying to live my life by some seriously fucked up societal pressures. I love myself no matter what weight I am. My husband loves me and still finds me attractive.

So, my wish for you, puddle, is to get where I am and say fuck it to the haters and know that you are *awesome* and you're a kick ass mom and a good person and the size on your pants says NOTHING about your self worth.

[BaliHai]

While I think she thought she was being truly helpful in her OP, it's the subsequent heel-digging that always gets me with such posts. Just apologize for hurting feelings and be done with it - none of this, "sorry if I made you feel bad", "well, some people care and some don't" bullshit. There's a certain grace in admitting you were tone deaf and hurt people.

[preppy]

Her DD was born a few days before mine and I have been working so so hard at losing the weight and I look nothing like that. Posts like that make normal people feel like shit. And I did wear a girdle thingy!! Not 24/7 (not even close) but still. No magic abs for me:/

[liverandonions]

In an attempt to care about my post-bab(ies) body I worked out yesterday. I looked like I shoved two cantaloupes in a sports bra, so that really put a damper on you know, jogging.

[sallywalker]

I'm with LHC and tamb. I kind of feel sorry for her in some way. There is a touch of sadness there. I am not saying that what she did and said was right, but there is just enough pitifulness there to tug at my heart a "tiny" bit.

[honeychai]

I am a little jealous

[shostakovich]

Jan 26, 2016 10:49:55 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Jan 26, 2016 10:40:50 GMT -5 mooselovah said:

Ok off topic but the thing the I hate, is you can work out at 6 weeks. Your body should be back to normal by 3 months.

Fuck that.

I had so much damage from my first delivery I wasn't allowed to do more than walk for 14 weeks.

Yes, I got my body back by a year --- but I felt like a failure because I wasn't doing the guidelines. I wish people would have been there to tell me it was bs.

It bugs me that we are supposed to stay forever young and unchanging.

This is a VERY important point. I haven't had kids yet and already see my body changing. But, that is what the human body does - it starts out one way, and gradually changes. That's normal, that's natural.  I have no problem with people making efforts to combat this normal change, but I DO have a pretty major problem with the perpetuation that body changes are unnatural.

I also get pretty mad at how women - myself included - have been told in so many ways that beauty is the thing they need most, that without it they have no worth. There seems to be a constant barrage of this message, and it makes me see red.

[Lucy Honeychurch]

Jan 26, 2016 11:04:09 GMT -5 sallywalker said:

I'm with LHC and tamb. I kind of feel sorry for her in some way. There is a touch of sadness there. I am not saying that what she did and said was right, but there is just enough pitifulness there to tug at my heart a "tiny" bit.

[jsillyfun]

This reminds me of my friend who was like "well I breastfed so I lost the 60 lbs I gained within two weeks." Bitch please. I breastfeed too and I have to exercise at least 3x a week and practically starve myself to lose about .5 lb a week. At 8 months pp I still have 10 lb to go. And I have had a much easier time than my other friend who was unable to lose a single pound no matter what she did until she weaned.

[Lucy Honeychurch]

Jan 26, 2016 11:10:13 GMT -5 jsillyfun said:

This reminds me of my friend who was like "well I breastfed so I lost the 60 lbs I gained within two weeks." Bitch please. I breastfeed too and I have to exercise at least 3x a week and practically starve myself to lose about .5 lb a week. At 8 months pp I still have 10 lb to go. And I have had a much easier time than my other friend who was unable to lose a single pound no matter what she did until she weaned.

Heeee, like the celebrities who are like, "well, I breastfed, and I chase toddlers around all day!  It's how I lose weight!".  Plus, you know, the macrobiotic chef and the four-hour workouts six days a week.

[kevin arnold]

Jan 26, 2016 11:11:11 GMT -5 Que? said:

Jan 26, 2016 11:00:32 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I said:

You know she's sitting at home going They're Just Jealous. Bleh.

Duh. She apologized for making people feel bad about themselves. That was her takeaway. 'Oops, I'm too tiny'.

She contibutes absolutely nothing to the board. She creates threads about her own belly, babies, and business and that's it.

BOTABBB?

[papie]

Our bodies are so fucking weird. With all three kids, I lost all my pregnancy weight the first 6 months of breastfeeding, and then put back on 10-20 lbs over then next six months of breastfeeding, which were impossible to lose until I weaned. Or maybe it's the wine and chocolate.

[demelza]

I've been working since this summer to get in great shape.

So my body looked great except for my tummy, which after trying for months made no improvements.

I finally made an appointment with a physical therapist because I suspect my abdominal separation is probably the cause of the belly. I thought I was working on the problem but I was probably making it worse.

If only wearing a girdle for 2 to 3 weeks fixed everything.

[shoeaholic]

I hate when this happens to new moms or any female for that matter. You are all beautiful and doing the best you can for you and your family. Her post was not just insensitive, but her failure to say "oh crap - I'm an idiot and never should have said that" was obnoxious. It was a typical non-apology. Being a new mom is tough and the last thing you need to worry about is having killer abs at 6 weeks. Heck, being a mom in general is tough.

It has taken me years to feel good about myself and finally realized that my standard is not that which others measure me by, but how I feel about myself. Do I diet and work out, yes - but only for myself. My husband loves me a supports me no matter what. I hate when women make other women feel badly about themselves.

[devonpow]

I wore a belly band for about 3 weeks after DS2 and loved it! I was able to wear pre pregnancy jeans, my stomach looked flat, it was great.

Then I took it off and all my wrinkly, flabby lower belly skin was unleashed from its binding to flop around. And there it remains , hanging out , 3 years later. Oh well.

[laladypoet]

I've always felt like she says "I'm better friends with guys because women are so jealous and catty" a lot. AKA season 1 Camille.

[Deleted]

I'll just leave this here.

pandce.proboards.com/thread/95619/awing-mood-post-partum-pip

[laladypoet]

*twitch*