Post by pantsparty on Feb 22, 2016 23:45:18 GMT -5
Hugs, tamb. I can relate to you on not wanting to talk to my mom about my brother's death. A lot of times I just don't want to talk about it, at all. But I know it's important to her, so I listen.
What a sweet card to have from your grandmother. After my brother died, the grandpa I was closest to died a few months later, and the rest of my grandparents passed away in 2013. I don't know if it was a delayed reaction based on what I went through with my brother, but only in the past year or so do I really feel sad at their passing. Like, I didn't even fly home for any of their funerals. I feel bad about that
Post by karmasabiotch on Feb 23, 2016 0:25:02 GMT -5
I'm sorry Tamb. You have too many sad memories colliding at one time. Try not to relive the parts you regret that can't be changed and focus on the happy memories to carry you through the next few days or however long you need.
The card from your Grandma set me over the edge too. I'm crying. If you believe in signs maybe it's one that found you at the time when you needed it and could relate it to your Dad.
Big hugs to you. I can't believe that it has been this long.
Don't be hard on yourself for your feelings. We all mourn in our own way and there is nothing wrong with that. While the hurt never goes away, it does fluctuate over time and it is different for each person. Some years are more difficult than others. I lost my mum almost 31 years ago, and some days it is still unbearable. My dad, my brother and I have different memories, different things that make us happy about her and different things that we miss.
Well now I feel guilty if I don't say that my grandmother didn't actually write that. It was printed in the card. lol. But I know he took the time to pick out a message that meant something to her. It was supposed to be a card from mother to daughter, and she wrote in "grand" over the daughter. She did write her own message at the bottom, but that part was printed. It just felt important that I found it yesterday, like she was sending me a little hug.
My grandmother chooses cards verrrrrry carefully and thoughtfully- if yours was the same, then it's still a nice message to you.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Feb 23, 2016 7:13:53 GMT -5
Hugs, tamb. I love that your gma is still taking care of you, and that you have physical "proof" of it! I bet that is very comforting. That card made me tear up.
So many hugs Tamb. You're right that it doesn't really get easier. I find that especially the case when you have kids who never were able to know those who died. i haven't lost a parent, but my SIL died 4 years ago, and I was there through the hospice and her final moments as well. It's gut wrenching.
And how do you describe to your kids someone who had such an impact on your life in a way that's sufficient? I'll never know how to do that. I'm so sorry to go off on a tangent. I know you're hurting and I wish I could say something comforting. Thinking of you.