My dad died three years ago tomorrow

[MixedBerryJam]

Feb 22, 2016 23:30:49 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I feel silly now about the card thing -ha. Should have clarified in my OP. SORRY I MADE YOU SOB, @lazerus24 .

Her thing was always that she would say "I love you fifty million and [however many years old I was]." As I got older, she'd add question marks like she was incredulous that I was that old.

Nah. Didn't you know your gma just had very neat handwriting? That's what I'm telling myself. She wrote it herself, okay!?

[PatBenatar]

Big hugs Tamb

[missanne]

Huge hugs.

[Deleted]

Feb 22, 2016 23:34:43 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Feb 22, 2016 23:19:48 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

Big hugs. 

I can relate.  It will be 3 years ago in April that I lost my grandmother and then 6 months later, my stepdad died.  I still have thoughts about my stepdad's last days in a small isolation room after his bone marrow transplant.  It sucked and I really had no idea that he wasn't going to pull through--(bone marrow transplant was successful for a couple of months, but then got an infection and then cardiac arrest).  

I hate cancer.  But we can't change what happened.  We just have to remember and cherish all of the great times we had with them.   </3

It is just not fair to lose people so close together like that. I felt like I lost my childhood that year. I don't even know what I'm going to do when my mom goes.

It's not fair. I've lost too many people close to me (and close together). My dad died when I was 5 and my grandpa died 8 months later. I was very young then so it didn't hit me with the same reality as this last time. I don't want to think about losing my mom. That's just too much.

[bcv513]

Thinking of you today @tambcat. ((hugs))

[sapphireblue]

I am so sorry. I was extremely close to my grandmother and I miss her a lot. She died over 15 years ago. I just had my son 7 months ago. My uncle recently gave me a framed needlepoint (she needlepointed all the time) ABCs thing, clearly for a kids room. She did it before she died (she did 5 actually for her 5 grandchildren), and he has held on to them for when we all have children. Of course I started crying as soon as he brought it out for me. It's like it doesn't get easier but you get used to them being gone so it isn't such a fresh pain.

Anyway, I'm sorry you lost your dad and your grandmother too. And that his passing was so uncomfortable.

[lightbulbsun]

((tamb))

My mom died 3 years ago in August, and I think it was the worst year for me. I'm so sorry that you're having such a difficult time. It sucks so much.

I'm glad you have that note from your grandma.

[emsumm]

Sending so much love. It's gotten harder for me, too. I get it. It becomes more real the longer they're gone. But you know you didn't do anything wrong, right? And also...maybe your grandmother dying in peace was your gift to her. You wished for her what you wanted your dad to have. That is so beautiful.

[Elsa]

Thinking of you tamb ((hugs))

[cuccaro]

I'm sorry you are struggling.

[Deleted]

(((hugs)))

[papie]

So many hugs.  

[spitforspat]

(((Tamb)))

My mom died 4 years ago next month. I have a ton of regrets regarding her death and things that we said or did. But I try to remind myself that she wouldn't want me to keep worrying about it. And she'd want me to remember the good times instead of the bad. I know your dad would want that for you, too.

It's ok to think about these things, though. It helps us process. Just don't be too hard on yourself. Grieve how you need to, whenever you need to, as long as you need to.

Take good care of yourself.

[Kit]

I'm sorry, tamb. Big hugs for you.

[HiC]

Sending you lots of love, Tamb. I'm sorry for your loss.
I love your grandmother's message to you. It made me cry.

[knx9211]

Thinking of you today <3

[qcinoct]

{{hugs}} @tambcat. Sending you warm thoughts

[pagas]

You are in my thoughts today.

[underwaterrhymes]

Oh Tamb. All the hugs for you.

[margarita]

Lots of hugs to you, Tamb. I'm sorry.

What your grandma wrote to you is so lovely. I'm glad you came across that and could read it again. I hope it brings you some peace and comfort. (heart)

[dana2006]

So many hugs. My heart goes out to you. That's a beautiful message from your grandmother, whether it was printed or handwritten. Hope you and your mom are both bearing up today.

I lost my dad 16 months ago and DS was just over 3 months old then. Although having a baby to tend to is a good distraction and makes it easy at times to forget the pain, there have been so many moments since then that I look at DS and think, if only dad could see how well his grandson is coming along. And I feel sad for both him and DS. I imagine it's the same way with you and J.

[melodramatic26]

I'm so sorry Tamb.((hugs))

[jsillyfun]

I am so, so sorry Tamb.

[trafficgirl]

Oh Tamb. I'm thinking about you today. Big hugs.

[pinkeggs]

Feb 23, 2016 9:49:40 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Thanks everybody.  (heart)  

Not to be a total downer, but another thing I have to say is that I'm a little angry with my mom for having such a hard time believing he was gone that I ended up touching his arm after it had started to get stiff. I mean, I feel for her too. It was heartbreaking. But she just kept going on and on about "are you sure? Are you sure?" and I felt like I'd somehow be able to reassure her if I touched him? I don't remember if I was trying to get a pulse or what, but I didn't expect him to be stiff and that was awful.

Hugs sweetie My dad died of cancer 25 year ago when I was weeks shy of turning 11. The memories are tough. I love your grandmother's message. How comforting <3

[sugarbear]

So many hugs. I still think back to my mom's last few months (34 years ago) and all of her hospital equipment in her living room. It's so, so hard.

[textbookcase]

Huge hugs, Tamb. I love that card from your grandma.

[Deleted]

Big hugs.

[Tacocat]

I'm sorry Tamb, I know losing a parent is not easy. I lost my dad to cancer 3 years ago on Valentine's Day, and it certainly doesn't get easier as time goes on. I'm sorry that he was in pain in his last days, I can't imagine how difficult that must've been. On my dad's anniversary and birthdays, I try to think of good memories we had together and how much he would enjoy spending time with DD. Hugs to you today.

[fluffernutter]

So many hugs, Tamb.  God, that sounds so hard