I can't understand how, in 20fucking16, anyone thinks the sex life of anyone besides themselves or their committed monogamous partner is any of their fucking business.
Like who does this? Who calls out a friend as though you are her Goddamned child for spending the night with your adult partner?
Do these people not have anything else to occupy themselves with besides your private and personal life?
I would ditch these "friends" right quick, because that is just gross.
So is it really a thing to not have pre-marital sex after you've already previously been married?
I mean, isn't the horse kinda out of the barn at that point?
Of course it is. It is more of a way for them to control and shame people. What a great way to get followers, right?
And when she deletes these people from her FB account, it won't occur to them that it is because they were assholes. It will be because she is ashamed and hiding her sin.
That's exactly what they will think.
I mean, I still call myself a Christian, but I am nothing like these people. I was raised to be that way...but one day I grew up and started thinking for myself. I can't imagine reading someone's Facebook posts (or ones they were tagged in, in my case) and sitting there wondering if they are having sex or not and thinking they are headed straight for hell if they are.
It sounds so ridiculous. But this is really the kind of thing I have to deal with.
I can't understand how, in 20fucking16, anyone thinks the sex life of anyone besides themselves or their committed monogamous partner is any of their fucking business.
Like who does this? Who calls out a friend as though you are her Goddamned child for spending the night with your adult partner?
Do these people not have anything else to occupy themselves with besides your private and personal life?
I would ditch these "friends" right quick, because that is just gross.
Right? That's how I felt, really. Like I was being treated like a child. I'm an adult who has been through some really terrible adult shit. I kind of just want to scream, "I can have sex if I waaaaaant."
My boyfriend doesn't have people like this in his life. Or if he does, they keep their mouths shut. It completely baffles him that these people are like this.
Post by nancybotwin on Mar 15, 2016 8:21:16 GMT -5
I know everything that could be said is said. I am so happy for you that you are finding happiness, and I hope you also find friends who are supportive and excited for you. You deserve that.
By the way, I'm so happy you've found happiness. Grieving doesn't have to be done just because you're with someone else. You can grieve and date.
I was widowed too and there's so much pressure to be a "good widow." But some people will judge you for moving on too quickly, while others will judge you for grieving too long. Some people want you to keep your life as a shrine to your first husband, and others feel you have to find a new male role model for your kids. You really can't please everybody, and anyone who would judge you for how you rebuild your life is a callous person who shouldn't be in your life.
Thank you.
I do feel like there's a lot of judgment coming my way in general right now. It's frustrating. Most people don't actually say anything. I can just tell, ya know? Then there is this friend, who has always loved having someone to gossip about anyway. I'm not sure why I'm even surprised.
I am very much still grieving for my husband. I think I will grieve for him for the rest of my life, in many ways. People aren't replaceable. But that doesn't mean I can't still live, and love. I'm still here.
My aunt lost her H to cancer. He was the love of her life, but it would have been foolish to expect her to stay alone for the rest of her life after he passed away. She has since met someone new and remarried and I'm so happy for her. Don't let anyone judge you. Just because you met someone new does not mean you didn't love your deceased H or don't still think about him - you still have a life to live and if you meet someone that makes you happy, then you do you. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone for living your life. Anyone that judges that is not your friend. I'd be doing a little 'house cleaning' on fb if I were you
What a bunch of bullshit! I don't have a ton of friends - especially not close friends - so I get that cutting people out is easier said than done. But you had an awful thing happen to you (and your kids) and you're moving on and trying to find a new normal and some happiness again. Instead of being happy for you and supportive, these bitches are gossiping behind your back, and then trying to make you feel guilty. In some ways I hate Facebook because of crap like this, but I also love it because it's so much harder for people to hide how big of assholes they are.
Wait, are you at least 18 years of age? That's some high school nonsense right here. You're grown and a widow. It's nobody's business what you do in your bedroom. Drop them all and don't worry about their silliness.
Post by whitemerlot on Mar 15, 2016 10:55:34 GMT -5
I liked a couple posts in here, but am still thinking about this post. Anyone who judges you or your boyfriend after what you've been through sucks. You deserve happiness.