So I know I've been vague...

[Deleted]

I am so very sorry ditzydi- what an absolute shit way to find this out and there is NO justification for abuse. It sounds like you are taking the right steps and your husband is being supportive. Huge hugs, I can't imagine all of the emotions you are feeling. Take care of yourself.

[MrsPotatohead]

I am so sorry, I can't even imagine what that must be like to find out, let alone the childhood you endured. I hope you're able to find peace and a new life going forward.

[laterbloomer]

Wow...Well the silver lining is that you aren't descended from your abusers. Did they tell you who your biological parents are?

[ditzydi]

Mar 16, 2016 11:50:32 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Wow...Well the silver lining is that you aren't descended from your abusers. Did they tell you who your biological parents are?

According to the spawn of satan they don't know my bio mother and my bio father was in/was going to jail.  But how true that was is up in the air because it seemed like they wanted me to give them the parent of the year award for saving me and they got super pissed and offended when I kept asking questions about whether they knew my bio parents or their whereabouts.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. You are such a wonderful person and don't deserve this. If you need anything please reach out to us.

[memenee]

Sending you a million hugs. I am so very sorry for all that you are going thru. I hope with all my heart that you are able to get the help you need to process all of this and come out strong. More hugs.

[atlas]

OMG. This is awful. I am so sorry you had to go through what you did when you were a child and then all of this on top of it. It is nice that you have your H in your court and I hope that if you keep pushing for bio-information that you find it. However, not pushing is also a fine option. Good luck with working through all of this.

[ditzydi]

Mar 16, 2016 12:24:49 GMT -5 atlas said:

OMG. This is awful. I am so sorry you had to go through what you did when you were a child and then all of this on top of it. It is nice that you have your H in your court and I hope that if you keep pushing for bio-information that you find it. However, not pushing is also a fine option. Good luck with working through all of this.

They did send me my adoption paperwork and finding my bio parents will pretty much be impossible.  It says I was abandoned.  This has all been a total and complete mindfuck. 

[atlas]

Mar 16, 2016 12:28:46 GMT -5 ditzydi said:

Mar 16, 2016 12:24:49 GMT -5 atlas said:

OMG. This is awful. I am so sorry you had to go through what you did when you were a child and then all of this on top of it. It is nice that you have your H in your court and I hope that if you keep pushing for bio-information that you find it. However, not pushing is also a fine option. Good luck with working through all of this.

They did send me my adoption paperwork and finding my bio parents will pretty much be impossible.  It says I was abandoned.  This has all been a total and complete mindfuck. 

I am so sorry. So so sorry.

[brooke77]

I'm so sorry. I don't understand anyone who could mistreat a child. I hope you can find some peace as you process this all. Hugs.

[ilovedpp]

Oh wow, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending lots of hugs and good thoughts as you navigate all these changes!

[holdingthestars]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds like you have a great, supportive husband to help get you through.

[kris356]

I missed your original post, but lots of hugs to you.

[ashap]

Mar 16, 2016 13:34:40 GMT -5 kris356 said:

I missed your original post, but lots of hugs to you.

This exactly.  So sorry for anything and everything you are going through ditzydi

[treedimensional]

I missed it too, but obviously it is something major. Peace and hugs, Ditzy.

[sram08]

Sorry for what you are going through ditzydi . Hugs !

[majick143]

Oh ditzydi, I missed your original post but I'm picking up the just of it from the others messages. I'm SO so sorry that you're going through this. I have a dear friend that knew she was adopted for quite some time but only connected with her own biological family this past summer. What she discovered was not what she expected. She gained some siblings that she was thrilled to get to know but her bio parents left A LOT to be desired which was a little sad I think. I really can't wrap my head around what that must have felt like for her and for you. Just know that you're AWESOME doesn't matter where you come from or who you come from, you decide who YOU are and YOU are a fierce little woman! <3

[busybodyk]

I didn't get a chance to reply yesterday but I'm sending you lots of love and hugs. I hate that this has been so difficult for you. I hope you can find some peace through this

[callmehales]

you need me to vagina punch someone for you, I AM THERE. ::hugs::

[ditzydi]

Mar 17, 2016 17:07:08 GMT -5 callmehales said:

you need me to vagina punch someone for you, I AM THERE. ::hugs::

Ha. Yes. Maybe if I have somebody else do it takes me out of it and therefore I'm not 'mean'. I can't even believe that those gigglefucks blamed me being a mean child for never tellingvme I was adopted or using that excuse to justify why my mom beat me. If I'm mean, they're the spawn of satan. They even went as far to say that I'm not their genes so they had nothing to do with why I was 'mean'. Sure. Like the beatings had nothing to do with it. If they had their own biological child it probably would have had anger issues due to genetics and the beatdowns. I came out pretty sane in comparison to what their hypothetical biological child would have turned out. They are unbelievable.

[mrsguz]

I hate this for you. I'm so sorry.

[kris356]

Mar 18, 2016 7:53:42 GMT -5 ditzydi said:

Mar 17, 2016 17:07:08 GMT -5 callmehales said:

you need me to vagina punch someone for you, I AM THERE. ::hugs::

I will join in, I hate them for you. 

That absolutely breaks my heart for you. I am sending you so many virtual hugs. You are awesome and don't let them tell you any differently.

[ditzydi]

Oh and through my adoption papers I have discovered the birthday that we've been celebrating for 33 years isn't my real fucking birthday. I had a sneaking suspicion because I told DH that when I was a teenager I found and read my dad's journal and was curious if he wrote an entry when I was born. Not when I was born but three days after. So when DH talked to them re: my adoption he asked them if they were present for my birth. Nope. They got me a month after. So the entry was three days after they got me. Or saw me because the adoption didn't clear until more than a year after my birth. The whole processing of how they hid this for so long just baffles me. I just can't even wrap my mind around it.

[bethaboo]

I missed the OP but I'm so sorry you are experiencing this kind of hurt.

[ditzydi]

Mar 18, 2016 9:03:57 GMT -5 @marshmallows said:

ditzydi , I missed your original post but I'm getting the idea from the replies. I don't post here much, but I wanted to say how sorry I am that you're going through this and also that you are an amazing person, especially considering all you endured. I'm estranged from my parents due to abuse/neglect issues, and it makes me RAGE when I hear that they have said that I'm angry or mean, like they are the victims. It's just ridiculous and another way for terrible people to rationalize their terrible actions. again, I'm really sorry.

YES!  My parents were so narcasistic and they always made everything about them.  They always played victim.  Even when we had the conversation about the adoption, they had to do it over the phone.  Because once the shock off, the anger set in.  I sent them an e-mail saying that I would be at their house tomorrow and they had some explaining to do.  Well guess what, they called me the next day after I sent the e-mail, from their car and said that my dad had to work so they couldn't meet tomorrow.  Really?  Seriously?  You can't be bothered to explain to me my adoption or the fact that you hid it from me for 33, almost 34 years, so we're having the conversation over the phone?  Spawn of Satan I tell ya.  When I cut them out of our lives before my friends and my in-laws tried to preach forgiveness blah blah blah.  But now...now they all agree that they're certifiable assholes.

[aak0517]

I'm trying to piece together what your OP may have said since I missed it. But from what I'm gathering it seems like you're in a world of hurt right now. I'm so sorry ditzydi and please let us know if you need someone to talk to or just to listen. (((Hugs)))

[love1999]

I missed the original post but I am so sorry you are going through this! Hugs to you!

[bimbi284]

I had seen you post about it on FB and couldn't believe what they were doing/ have done to you.

We are here for you!

[harleysnhorses]

Like the others I missed your original post but wanted to send you virtual hugs and pray that you find some kind of peace over this. what terrible people. Spawn of Satan is putting is mildly.

[auburnbride]

I'm mostly a lurker but wanted to tell you I am so sorry. We adopted both of our children and this is why we talk about their stories and even why we have open adoptions. Besides you parents' ignorance and selfishness, they probably had a ton of fear surrounding your adoption. I am sorry they are such hateful people.