Dating annoyances, any and all

[jenstar]

Holy moly Mrs.Rad888 that's nuts! I really hope xh decides to stop having kids if/when this relationship crashes and burns..

I'm also sorry that you ended up married to him, I ended up feeling like I could have been anyone as long as I provided what xh needed, he didn't give a shit about who I actually was, it was horrible

[jellymankelly]

Apr 22, 2016 14:10:14 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Mine is that people were stunned that I didn't date more before my current relationship or I get grief for getting to know someone slowly before meeting them.

I have 24/7 custody of a 6yo with zero family close by I can rely on to watch her ... no she doesn't go to her dad's every other weekend so ANY kind of me time has to be carefully planned and I don't want to waste my time (and money for a sitter) for some guy who's not worth it.

I did the same. I caught a little grief for not dating around enough, but having my kids ALL THE TIME while getting back into the dating world was a delicate situation. The good thing about doing it that way was being able to weed out anyone who didn't have the patience to deal with it. Dating a single parent with sole custody can be tricky, and I didn't want to waste time on anyone who wasn't willing to deal with the challenges. In addition to that, my XH lived out of state and would stay at my house when he came to visit the kids. It was an unconventional situation, but he and I are a team where the kids are concerned, and whether we like it or not, we're a package deal. I had to make sure anyone I used my "Get out of the house" pass on was okay with all the aspects of my lifestyle at the time.

[jellymankelly]

Apr 22, 2016 22:13:11 GMT -5 Mrs.Rad888 said:

Apr 22, 2016 18:52:51 GMT -5 jenstar said:

This is my xh in a nutshell.. Wanted more kids, doesn't care who the carrier is, as long as she's useful to him he'll be happy.

My XH, too. I was wife #3 for him, by the time we got married, he was up to 4 kids, one given up for adoption. While we were married, he "found out" about a set of twins. After we split up, he and W#4 had another kid. While they were together, another one came out of the woodwork. He and W#4 split up last year, and apparently he's now dating a 20-something, and I'm sure it's just a matter of time before she ends up pregnant. For anyone who's trying to do the math, he's currently up to 9 kids. He seems to feel that getting a woman PG makes him a man. 

Is your XH Amber Portwood's fiancée? This sounds just like that guy's nonsense. The thing that sucks about this kind of guy, is men are able to reproduce far longer than women, and he could keep overpopulating the world until he's an old man. What I want to know is what 20 year old wants to be with a man who just runs around making babies with every woman he dates, and then takes off?

[doglove]

Mine are the same as what people have already brought up. The dudes who never took time to reflect and move on from their exes. I actually thought I found a decent one (the first few weeks of dating) and out comes the crazy and insecurity because of everything every woman has ever done to him, including his recent ex that he was living with weeks prior to seeing me! Wtf. No. And I can't even describe how many dates/phone calls or conversations I've had with men who only want to talk about their exes and bash them. No, just no.

The other is people continually trying to press me into doing the dating apps because they have one friend it worked for or keep hearing that's how people meet someone nowadays. They have no experience with them and don't know what it's like, so it's incredibly frustrating even talking to them about it.

Likewise, people like my family can't understand why I'm not dating anyone yet. Like guys are just lined up outside my door because I'm ready! Ugh.

[jenstar]

After going on my first first date in like 8 years on the weekend I have another one.. I'm annoyed that people can't just tell you yes or no.. I feel like I talked way too much and about things that probably aren't really first date material but I was nervous and dude was easy to talk to/seemed interested.. Now I'm getting a strong "not interested" vibe but I don't understand why it's so hard to say, hey, it was nice to meet you but I'm going to keep looking.. after you've gone to the effort to meet up, surely that's not so difficult?

I hate that it's made me overanalyse what I did or didn't do, I don't have time for this shit!

[glitzyglow]

Sometimes it is so annoying to live in a major tourist destination. I normally stay off dating apps on weekends because HELLO TOURISTS. I was on it yesterday and matched with a guy. We were chatting and then he told me he was leaving my city to head home to NYC. Argh.

[bl]

Apr 26, 2016 11:02:49 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

Sometimes it is so annoying to live in a major tourist destination. I normally stay off dating apps on weekends because HELLO TOURISTS. I was on it yesterday and matched with a guy. We were chatting and then he told me he was leaving my city to head home to NYC. Argh.

Yes! This was always a huge pet peeve of mine. When I was dating it would be one of the first things I asked, and I always appreciated the ones that even put it in their profile, so I didn't have to match with them at all.

[Queen Mamadala]

Echoing jigsy.

When I was dating, there was an idea or expectation that women were the ones who needed to work through their issues or "baggage" before jumping into the dating scene. Apparently, men don't have unchecked or unresolved issues they need to work on. I actually made mention of this in my profile toward the end of my dating adventures.

The vast majority of men I dated were between late 30s and early 40s, so they were also coming out of long term relationships or marriages and weren't sure what they were looking for. Many were confused about their intentions, or were just not introspective enough to figure themselves out and what they're looking for.

[messykitchen]

I don't really go here, but I once had a boyfriend (ex right after this comment) tell me he slept with me because he wanted to know what it was like sleeping with a fat girl.

What a dick!

[glitzyglow]

messykitchen , that is horrible of him. What a major dickface.

Why are people so...confusing/weird...on online dating apps? I literally asked a guy on Bumble HOW HIS DAY WAS GOING and he just responded by asking me if I'm attracted to him (wouldn't me swiping yes be indicative that I thought he was attractive?), he then immediately messaged me again and asked me if I'm specifically attracted to his physical appearance (??), followed by yet another message that said he's attracted to me (uh, okay), and then a final message that he wants to be "honest and direct." wtf. I simply asked how his day was going! So annoying. It's like, dude, have you ever had a conversation before?

[Deleted]

It's not the right time of course, but after being burned and despite ALL the bullshit that goes along with dating, I really do want to get back out there. Remind me of this when I complain about it in a few months.

[Deleted]

I hate when guys lie. In the sense online dating. A guy said he didn't smoke online but he totally did in real life. Or where you live due to wanting a larger dating pool. Or saying you're open to kids when you aren't. These are dis-qualifiers for me and makes it awkward to be like "next" after we've gone on a date. DON"T WASTE MY TIME.

[glitzyglow]

I just interacted with a guy for a total of 2 messages before he unmatched me, lol. I'm a bit mystified why, as I told him I was busy at work since I had just returned after a few days of vacation and I asked him if caught the Preds game last night. Online dating is the best, lol.

[alleinesein]

Anyone else encounter guys who will select every single ethnicity for their profile? Are they just trying to show up in every search option?

[glitzyglow]

alleinesein, I'm not sure what you mean. I think I checked all the boxes because I don't care what ethnicity someone is. If there was an option along the lines of, "No preference," I'd pick that. If I had to select individual ethnicities, I'd check them all.

[alleinesein]

May 10, 2016 18:58:57 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

alleinesein , I'm not sure what you mean. I think I checked all the boxes because I don't care what ethnicity someone is. If there was an option along the lines of, "No preference," I'd pick that. If I had to select individual ethnicities, I'd check them all.

They select all for their own description not what they are looking for.  

Example:
Generic SoCal Surfer
Age: 37
Height: 6'1
Eyes: Blue
Hair Color: Blonde
Relationship Status: Single
Ethnicity: Caucasian, East Indian, Pacific Islander, Asian, Middle Eastern, Hispanic, Black, Other

Maybe they are just confused and selected all because they thought it was for what they were looking for instead of how they identify themselves.  

[Dory1988]

Being in the military, there's a large pool of males around compared to the amount of females. They literally started trying to talk to me the second my ex left. Yo dudes, I just want to do me for a while. How do you not get that? And I definitely don't want to date someone I work with...come on now...

[jojoandleo]

May 11, 2016 5:30:57 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

Being in the military, there's a large pool of males around compared to the amount of females. They literally started trying to talk to me the second my ex left. Yo dudes, I just want to do me for a while. How do you not get that? And I definitely don't want to date someone I work with...come on now...

Sounds like military men. one of MH's best friends (marines together) is already on his third marriage (he's 30) because he just jumps right in to a relationship as soon as te last one ends.

[glitzyglow]

alleinesein, I think they are just misreading and marking them all thinking the question means what they are looking for. It's possible some guys want to show up in all the searches, but most likely misreading, lol.

[doglove]

May 10, 2016 17:12:35 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

I just interacted with a guy for a total of 2 messages before he unmatched me, lol. I'm a bit mystified why, as I told him I was busy at work since I had just returned after a few days of vacation and I asked him if caught the Preds game last night. Online dating is the best, lol.

I hate the dudes that want 24/7 access to you and can't understand why you're not hanging by your phone ready to text every second. Sorry sir, I'm not here to cure your boredom. I next those guys right away. 

I had a date last week with a guy who told me that he just doesn't want to work very hard to find someone to date. He doesn't want to put in a lot of effort. It's like, how lazy can you be and if this is the beginning - how lazy WILL you be? Bye Felicia. 

[glitzyglow]

doglove , good call on nexting him! What did your face look like while he said that? I imagine that my face would have went:

[doglove]

Pretty much glitzyglow. Pretty sure making low to no effort is going to keep you from getting anywhere. He also couldn't remember which app we met on (got it wrong) and I was like uh no we did not meet on that one. Fails all over. At the end, he wanted to meet me back at my place to keep hanging out. I was like thanks, but no thanks.

[stephreloaded]

Apr 30, 2016 7:46:38 GMT -5 messykitchen said:

I don't really go here, but I once had a boyfriend (ex right after this comment) tell me he slept with me because he wanted to know what it was like sleeping with a fat girl.

What a dick!

 What a moron!

[itsmyparty]

May 11, 2016 9:37:58 GMT -5 doglove said:

May 10, 2016 17:12:35 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

I just interacted with a guy for a total of 2 messages before he unmatched me, lol. I'm a bit mystified why, as I told him I was busy at work since I had just returned after a few days of vacation and I asked him if caught the Preds game last night. Online dating is the best, lol.

I hate the dudes that want 24/7 access to you and can't understand why you're not hanging by your phone ready to text every second. Sorry sir, I'm not here to cure your boredom. I next those guys right away. 

I had a date last week with a guy who told me that he just doesn't want to work very hard to find someone to date. He doesn't want to put in a lot of effort. It's like, how lazy can you be and if this is the beginning - how lazy WILL you be? Bye Felicia. 

I just signed up on OKCupid on Sunday, was bombarded with messages, but after responding to only three of the dudes, two of them have gone silent suddenly after I took a while to respond to their messages. Is this par for the course? Because that is not going to work for me. I have a life! I can't text or message while driving, in a meeting, taking my dog to puppy class, etc.

[doglove]

May 12, 2016 0:45:35 GMT -5 itsmyparty said:

May 11, 2016 9:37:58 GMT -5 doglove said:

I hate the dudes that want 24/7 access to you and can't understand why you're not hanging by your phone ready to text every second. Sorry sir, I'm not here to cure your boredom. I next those guys right away. 

I had a date last week with a guy who told me that he just doesn't want to work very hard to find someone to date. He doesn't want to put in a lot of effort. It's like, how lazy can you be and if this is the beginning - how lazy WILL you be? Bye Felicia. 

I just signed up on OKCupid on Sunday, was bombarded with messages, but after responding to only three of the dudes, two of them have gone silent suddenly after I took a while to respond to their messages. Is this par for the course? Because that is not going to work for me. I have a life! I can't text or message while driving, in a meeting, taking my dog to puppy class, etc.

I think that's pretty normal. I found that on the free apps it seems a lot of people are just looking for an immediate fix. I had one date on OKCupid, no one ever wanted to meet up and there were lots of crazies on there in my area. I actually had better luck with tinder in my area in terms of having actual dates. I think too that people are generally on at a certain time and that may be why you got a bunch of messages and if you got busy and wrote back later, they aren't necessarily available again until another time. 

[Deleted]

May 11, 2016 5:30:57 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

Being in the military, there's a large pool of males around compared to the amount of females. They literally started trying to talk to me the second my ex left. Yo dudes, I just want to do me for a while. How do you not get that? And I definitely don't want to date someone I work with...come on now...

I was in deployment for nearly two years. I never went a day without being flirted with. And now I feel like I'm in the desert of no men since moving back stateside. haha. We always joked you double your score when you're on deployment if you're a woman.

[alleinesein]

May 12, 2016 0:45:35 GMT -5 itsmyparty said:

May 11, 2016 9:37:58 GMT -5 doglove said:

I hate the dudes that want 24/7 access to you and can't understand why you're not hanging by your phone ready to text every second. Sorry sir, I'm not here to cure your boredom. I next those guys right away. 

I had a date last week with a guy who told me that he just doesn't want to work very hard to find someone to date. He doesn't want to put in a lot of effort. It's like, how lazy can you be and if this is the beginning - how lazy WILL you be? Bye Felicia. 

I just signed up on OKCupid on Sunday, was bombarded with messages, but after responding to only three of the dudes, two of them have gone silent suddenly after I took a while to respond to their messages. Is this par for the course? Because that is not going to work for me. I have a life! I can't text or message while driving, in a meeting, taking my dog to puppy class, etc.

Being bombarded with messages is normal if you are cute, female and under 35.  Some guys will send out messages to any new girl on the site in the hopes that one of them will message back.

[itsmyparty]

May 12, 2016 18:16:47 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

May 12, 2016 0:45:35 GMT -5 itsmyparty said:

I just signed up on OKCupid on Sunday, was bombarded with messages, but after responding to only three of the dudes, two of them have gone silent suddenly after I took a while to respond to their messages. Is this par for the course? Because that is not going to work for me. I have a life! I can't text or message while driving, in a meeting, taking my dog to puppy class, etc.

Being bombarded with messages is normal if you are cute, female and under 35.  Some guys will send out messages to any new girl on the site in the hopes that one of them will message back.

But is it normal for guys to be so incredibly inpatient that they'll just ghost from a (decent) conversation if I get busy for a couple hours?

[cuddlyevil]

May 14, 2016 0:44:41 GMT -5 itsmyparty said:

May 12, 2016 18:16:47 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

Being bombarded with messages is normal if you are cute, female and under 35.  Some guys will send out messages to any new girl on the site in the hopes that one of them will message back.

But is it normal for guys to be so incredibly inpatient that they'll just ghost from a (decent) conversation if I get busy for a couple hours?

Sadly, yes.

[itsmyparty]

Ridiculous. I guess it's a good way to weed out the ones I don't want.