Post by jerseyjaybird on Jun 15, 2016 18:57:25 GMT -5
My DW was in an inpatient program (and then an intensive outpatient program) for 9 days almost 2 years ago. She had OCD-triggered anxiety and depression. I visited her almost every evening, and we spoke on the phone a few times a day. The experience was totally transformative for her: the time and space to focus on her healing, the very regular medical attention, and the camaraderie with other people who really "got it." I can't say enough good things. If you have specific questions or concerns, I'm sure she'd be happy to respond/correspond.
I know it doesn't feel this way, but this state is temporary.
What I would recommend is going to your local crisis unit. Most of them are located in a hospital. They will be able to evaluate you, find the appropriate placement- because not all facilities or units will be appropriate. They will secure a bed, get pre-certs for your insurance, etc.They basically will walk you through it including the insurance. You can go in-patient voluntarily which will fall under a 201 not 302.
I really wish you the best. I see the struggle and am so sorry. If you have any more questions please send me a pm. I'll be more than happy to help. Hugs.
I hope you've already gone. If not, I'll add to the chorus: go. None of the scary things you fear are going to happen. You'll get the care and rest and help you need.
Your H and child will be there for you, and you can have visitors as soon as it's safe. I've known several people who have gone into inpatient or their children went, and none were ever denied visitation or contact.
A mom friend of mine went to the ER because of suicidal thoughts. She was there for a couple of days and then in-patient elsewhere for three weeks and then in intensive outpatient for another month. It was difficult for her and for her family, BUT it helped her get to a better place with meds and therapy and, importantly, it really brought out her support system and led to more stable and ongoing supports for her to stay in a healthy mindset. She was seriously floundering and was trying to white knuckle it through and that was not working anymore. She doesn't have to do that anymore. She still has her daughter and husband. <3 I hope you reach out to your H or best friend.
Oh, friend. You are worth seeking treatment. You are worth being mentally healthy. There is no shame in taking the appropriate steps to get to that healthy place. No one will take your baby from you. Please, please, be honest with your H and go. You won't regret it.
So many hugs for you. I am so sorry you're struggling so much right now. I promise you will get to a better place. You can do this.
And to echo PPs: I'm in the Philly suburbs. If you're local and in need of a ride, please let me know.
Post by emilyinchile on Jun 15, 2016 19:14:06 GMT -5
A friend did inpatient therapy for depression and related issues, and it was SO amazing for her. She was also terrified to let her H know everything that was going on and to make what felt like a really big step of going inpatient, but after about a day she was totally confident in her decision. She was also able to see her H (no kids) during her treatment. It has made her life so much better, her marriage so much better, and it was just truly the right thing for her to do. She is genuinely happy now after such a long time of really struggling. I hope this is the answer for you - go and try it out.
Something broke when I had my daughter. By 7 months postpartum, I was having suicidal ideations daily.
I knew I had to get help when I was on the way home from a date with my husband. We were on the highway, and I was crying and raging..again...
It took everything in me not to open my car door and fall out.
It scared me so much because my ideations had never been that close to happening and I certainly never imagined I'd involve anyone else in my escape.
The next day I saw my OBGYN and they immediately sent me to a counselor. Insurance wouldn't cover, so we paid the $70 out of pocket. After speaking with her, she immediately recommended I go straight to the psychiatric hospital. I never expected to be admitted as in-patient. Neither did my husband. Insurance wouldn't cover outpatient, so they strongly encouraged me to go in-patient.
I had no clothes except what I was wearing. I had to hand over my keys and fill out forms. They got pre-authorization while that was happening. My husband and dad dropped off some clothes my mom packed at to the receptionist and took my car home.
I was walked into the acute unit and was kept for three days. The psychiatrist I was assigned figured out the med combination that worked for me quickly. It was amazing how fast I didn't feel hopeless and useless anymore.
Somewhere in that three days, I got to see my husband and daughter for a visit.
I was released the day before my birthday. It was the best gift I could have ever given myself.
I have no doubt I would have eventually committed suicide.
I suffered from awful depression as a tween/teen and spent 2 weeks inpatient at the age of 14. Life changing. While I have anxiety, it's under control. I am happy, healthy, and find joy (nearly) every day.
The best gift you can give your daughter is to seek the help you need. I know the idea of therapy and medications and being away probably seems overwhelming right now, but you don't have to do it all at once, and you don't have to do any of it alone. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other and just make it through this moment.
Your fears about losing your baby and your husband are the depression talking. You are loved and I promise they just want a happy and healthy mom/wife.
Post by mousemelon on Jun 15, 2016 19:25:30 GMT -5
I did both in-patient and intensive out-patient last year. It was a really dark time for me and both helped immensley. Although, I have to admit, the out patient program helped more than the in patient, both of them were extremely helpful. The inpatient was more to pull you off the brink of where you are now and the out patient was more for giving you the tools to live day to day.
I saw E and my H every single night along with my mom and sister who came up during visiting hours. It was hard because I had never been away from E that long, but it was worth it. I stayed for 5 days.
eta: I meant to say also, absolutely GO. You need to take care of yourself. (hugs)
I checked myself in for an eating disorder more than 10 years ago now.
It was really hard to do, but it changed my life and gave me my life back. It was tough the first few days, but then it was SO good to be somewhere that I wasn't alone in my struggle and to have support and help.
We are all here for you. Your family needs you and wants you to get better.
Please go. I have a friend who went in college after a failed suicide attempt. It honestly made a HUGE difference in her life. And she honestly believes that she would have succeeded at a suicide attempt at some point without inpatient.
Post by indifferentstars on Jun 15, 2016 19:59:11 GMT -5
Would it help if you called the program you're looking into (or even checked the website, they might have some limited info about policies available there) and asked some questions to put your worries about visits, etc. at rest? An intake coordinator would be glad to give you as much information about the program as possible to help you feel at ease with the decision.
I have not been inpatient myself but I worked in an inpatient psychiatric facility for a number of years. So many of our patients were parents and their children were able to visit, they could call, etc. I assure you it will be worth the short time you may have to be apart from your DD, DH, and dogs. They need you, they want you around in the future. Please go get the help you deserve.
I don't want to hijack your post but I could have written the same thing. I spent Saturday night researching methods and almost took a bottle of pain killers when I went to bed. I don't know what stopped me. I've been dealing with this for 3 years, nothing has worked. Counseling, different meds, nothing. I feel like inpatient may be my last hope but don't know how to even start.
I do hope you are able to reach out to someone you trust - your husband, a friend, family member - anyone, and tell them you need help. I bet there are tons of people that would do anything for you because their life is better with you in it!
Go. If not for yourself, then for your DD. You are worth it. SHE is worth it.
Your daughter loves you. She doesn't see OCD or depression. She sees YOU. Someone who loves her and cares for her. At her age, you are absolutely perfect, just the way you are.
You've done the hard part, by admitting you feel you are at the end of the rope...to the hotline and to us. All you have to do now is show this post to your H.
You are NOT alone in this. ML represents people from ALL over. If you tell us where you are, I bet we can get you the help you need...quickly.
I'm so sorry you are struggling, im glad you reached out! Please get yourself help. My sister did in patient therapy and it was amazing for her.
We are here for you!
How long was she gone? Did you guys get to talk to her often?
It was years ago. I don't remember length of time but my parents visited often and spoke to her daily. I was away at college so out of state and a selfish college kid so I don't remember details.
I don't want to hijack your post but I could have written the same thing. I spent Saturday night researching methods and almost took a bottle of pain killers when I went to bed. I don't know what stopped me. I've been dealing with this for 3 years, nothing has worked. Counseling, different meds, nothing. I feel like inpatient may be my last hope but don't know how to even start.
I do hope you are able to reach out to someone you trust - your husband, a friend, family member - anyone, and tell them you need help. I bet there are tons of people that would do anything for you because their life is better with you in it!
Please, please, please reach out for help. You're worth it (heart)
Post by lexxasaurus on Jun 15, 2016 20:33:20 GMT -5
Think about it this way. I know you're afraid to not see your DD, but if you don't do this? She may not see you again. Don't take that from her. Don't take that experience from *yourself*. You have options and you DO have fight left. Fight for yourself, because you *are worth it*.
I won't say I understand totally but I have been extremely suicidal. I have attempted. It is such a lost feeling that traps you, and the thought of IP has to be so hard to even wrap your brain around but you need this. You may be surprised at how understanding your DH is. He may not know how to handle it, since you mentioned him kind of ignoring it, so he could feel relief because this is something above and beyond him. This could really help you. The people I know that have gone, have come out stronger. Please go. Please do this for yourself.