I need breastfeeding help

[Bernadine]

Please. I'm crying feeding her. My nipples are flat and she's not getting a deep latch. I'm using a nipple shield just to get her to latch at all, even though the LC at the hospital said I shouldn't use it much. I've tried ice and pulling them to get the nipples out, but they don't stay out.

There's a support group at the hospital tonight, but any help in the meantime?

[FastHands]

I'm glad you're going to take advantage of the support group; I hope it and/or the ladies here can help. Try to take a breath and stay calm -- you're doing an amazing job, and it is really really hard.

[isabel]

I don't have any advice. I just want to give you a hug. I'm sorry you two are struggling with it.

Just remember that formula is an option. Even just until you can get to the support group. The important thing is that she eats. Doesn't matter how that happens.

[cabbagecabbage]

It's perfectly OK to use the shield until an expert can give you some hands on help. Don't make it any harder than necessary. I know people who used the shield for months and had a successful breastfeeding relationship.

It's very hard and very emotional to do this. I know I cried in the first weeks. You're doing a great job!

[lemoncupcake]

Do you have a pump? Maybe pumping for a short period of time (30 seconds - 1 min) would get them in a better shape for her to get a good latch.

Are you doing the hamburger and "hinging" her jaw on your nipple? Do you have someone there that you're comfortable with helping you? The first few days I felt like I didn't have enough hands to get her settled on the breast and had DH help hold her head.

*hugs* It's really, really hard and I'm sorry you're struggling.

[Bernadine]

Jun 23, 2016 12:37:43 GMT -5 lemoncupcake said:

Do you have a pump? Maybe pumping for a short period of time (30 seconds - 1 min) would get them in a better shape for her to get a good latch.

Are you doing the hamburger and "hinging" her jaw on your nipple? Do you have someone there that you're comfortable with helping you? The first few days I felt like I didn't have enough hands to get her settled on the breast and had DH help hold her head.

*hugs* It's really, really hard and I'm sorry you're struggling.

H is helping hold her hands away. I'll give the pump a try.

[Bernadine]

Jun 23, 2016 12:37:43 GMT -5 lemoncupcake said:

Do you have a pump? Maybe pumping for a short period of time (30 seconds - 1 min) would get them in a better shape for her to get a good latch.

Are you doing the hamburger and "hinging" her jaw on your nipple? Do you have someone there that you're comfortable with helping you? The first few days I felt like I didn't have enough hands to get her settled on the breast and had DH help hold her head.

*hugs* It's really, really hard and I'm sorry you're struggling.

Oh, and yes, trying the hamburger. It just seems like she won't latch if everything is soft.

[tealblue]

Big hugs and I'm glad you are getting to a group tonight! I second pumping for a second to get the nipples to draw out and maybe she'll latch when milk is flowing?

Also, an LC told me to take my pointer and middle finger and make a "v" and put one finger on either side of your nipple. (So the nipple is inside the V). Press down for 30 seconds and then move your fingers and do it again. This should help your nipple poke out and should push a little milk out of your nipple.

[lemoncupcake]

Jun 23, 2016 12:41:31 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Jun 23, 2016 12:37:43 GMT -5 lemoncupcake said:

Do you have a pump? Maybe pumping for a short period of time (30 seconds - 1 min) would get them in a better shape for her to get a good latch.

Are you doing the hamburger and "hinging" her jaw on your nipple? Do you have someone there that you're comfortable with helping you? The first few days I felt like I didn't have enough hands to get her settled on the breast and had DH help hold her head.

*hugs* It's really, really hard and I'm sorry you're struggling.

Oh, and yes, trying the hamburger. It just seems like she won't latch if everything is soft.

If you swaddle her would your H's hands be free to hold her head? I'm going to try and describe what we did but it might make no sense



We had the most luck with him putting her lower jaw on one side of my nipple then holding her head and hinging it as open as possible. I'd use one hand to squish and the other to shove as much of it as possible in her mouth while he was holding it open. Then he would push her head closer to me and she would (hopefully) latch and start eating. Usually once she was on I could manage on my own. 

[glinda]

I used a shield with both of my kids. DS1 I used it for almost 4 months and ds2 I used it for about a month. I breastfed DS1 for almost a year and am at 10 months with DS2. If it helps and your supply does not seem to be suffering, use it. Definitely talk to an LC if you can soon, but do not feel bad about the shield.

[Elsa]

No no use that shield. Establish a good latch and have her get it down and then wean off the shield. We were having trouble with her latch, started using a shield and now she latches like a freaking champ. I'm waiting another day or two until my nipples completely heal (cracked and bleeding last week), and then we will work on weaning off it. And that is without flat nipples!

I think LCs sometimes get so fixated on the ideal breast feeder that they forget so many women are just trying to make something work. Even if it's not ideal at first. Issues can be fixed later.

Hugs rak. It's hard. I'm having an easier go with it this time, but it's still not easy, and with M it was a freaking nightmare. Hoping you see improvements!

[puddleofgrace]

julez

Tagging Julez as she was my breast feeding savior.

Sending so many hugs your way. It's fucking hard!!

[jaycee]

Another nipple shield user here. Used for three months with ds1 and about 1 month with ds2. No supply issues.

I 100% would not have had any success nursing without it. Both of my sons nursed for over a year.

My LC also gave me hassle about that damn shield, but it was my key for success.

I had flat nipples and pumping after each feeding for a week or two helped with that.

A million hugs and high fives to you. This is HARD. I hope things get easier for you.

[Elsa]

Also- she will start to get better control of her hands in the next few days. Not total control, but previously I couldn't get her to latch without help bc of her damn hands, but they are mostly not an issue now. H is back at work and I never have help now and we do fine. So that will get better quickly.

[sparkythelawyer]

First off, YOU ARE DOING GREAT, Mama.  Know that.

Second, cut the both of you a ton of slack.  You are two people who have never done this before.  Establishing breastfeeding is the hardest damn thing I have ever done in my entire life.  Harder than passing the bar, etc.

W/R/T the shield - If the shield is working, and it is getting her to latch, then by gosh and by golly use the damn shield.  My sister used the shield the entire year she breastfed my nephew.  Know what happened?  My nephew ate :-)

I will forever and for always champion the football hold for nursing, because you can basically prop baby onto a pillow, hence eliminating the need for additional sets of hands.  Just make sure she is physically higher than you might think.  You want her right up there parallel to your boob.  

Get a good nipple balm for your chapped nipples, this helps immensely.  When I get home I'll look at the name of the brand emsumm gave me.  That stuff worked WONDERS (and makes an excellent cocoa flavored lip balm!)

And definitely go to the support group.  They were so helpful to me at the beginning!  The one I went to was basically me, one other new mom, and an LC.  It was like having another private session with the LC.  It helped ease my mind and fix a lot of issues. 


You are doing just fine.  Hang in there.

[cats]

I'm sorry it's tough right now!

Do not feel badly about using the shield for a hot second! We used one for almost four months before weening off of it. It was what we needed and it got the job done. My LC always encouraged us to try BF without it, but said as long and DD was gaining, we were good.

Kudos for trying! Formula is an option too, so don't fee badly about trying to do what YOU fee is best for your baby (and you.)

[sparkythelawyer]

Jun 23, 2016 13:21:44 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Jun 23, 2016 13:13:44 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

First off, YOU ARE DOING GREAT, Mama.  Know that.

Second, cut the both of you a ton of slack.  You are two people who have never done this before.  Establishing breastfeeding is the hardest damn thing I have ever done in my entire life.  Harder than passing the bar, etc.

I don't have a ton of experience, but yes. You think it should come naturally b/c it's such a natural process, but sooo many times it doesn't and is a learning curve for both of you. It was one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. Joanna was sleepy and seemed to have this teeny tiny mouth and kept biting me. I was frustrated, exhausted, and in so much pain. Obviously I opted not to continue nursing, but a lot of people have a hard time in the beginning and go on to breastfeed successfully for months or even years. My sister also had a rough time at first and even supplemented a little, but then she went back to EBF and nursed until my niece self-weaned around 15 months. The support group was really helpful for her. Hang in there.

eta: also I'm a big believer in doing what works and just surviving right now when it comes to newborns. 

YES to this.  There were three of us in my circle of friends that were all pregnant at the same time.  I was due first.  I made sure to tell them afterwards over and over that "Just because something is 'natural' doesn't mean it isn't also hard as fuck."  Otherwise, labor would be called something else, right?

[Deleted]

I have large breasts and flat/short nipples. I ended up EPing, but still got to a year. It's totally okay to pump and try to get your supply in with donor milk and/or formula.

[zarapipe]

You are doing great! I used the shield for 9 or 10 months with dd1 and almost 3 with dd2. No shame!! Have you called a LC?

[pirate]

I don't have any experience with nipple shields but Zoe got a bottle for the first time at only 4 days old, which is a big "no no" as well. It was what we both needed and she has had no issues going back and forth. Right now if it makes it easier for both of you just do it. You can work on weaning her off the shield later when you feel ready.

[macmars45]

Hugs, so many hugs.

BF is the hardest and most painful thing I've ever done in my life. I'm 8 weeks into this and currently my nipples are purple (bruised). Everything hurts so damn bad... BF, pumping, showering... everything except the rx nipple cream from my OB and the pads inside my bra. I'm seeing a LC tomorrow but if she has no answers we're switching to FF and not looking back.

Oh, and I've used a nipple shield all but 3x in the very beginning. DS won't latch without it and just screams. Nipple shield it is. Go with what works. I hope the LC has amazing answers and help for you.

[Bernadine]

Jun 23, 2016 13:02:25 GMT -5 jaycee said:

Another nipple shield user here. Used for three months with ds1 and about 1 month with ds2. No supply issues.

I 100% would not have had any success nursing without it. Both of my sons nursed for over a year.

My LC also gave me hassle about that damn shield, but it was my key for success.

I had flat nipples and pumping after each feeding for a week or two helped with that.

A million hugs and high fives to you. This is HARD. I hope things get easier for you.

You pumped after feeding?

[Deleted]

Jun 23, 2016 13:53:44 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Jun 23, 2016 13:02:25 GMT -5 jaycee said:

Another nipple shield user here. Used for three months with ds1 and about 1 month with ds2. No supply issues.

I 100% would not have had any success nursing without it. Both of my sons nursed for over a year.

My LC also gave me hassle about that damn shield, but it was my key for success.

I had flat nipples and pumping after each feeding for a week or two helped with that.

A million hugs and high fives to you. This is HARD. I hope things get easier for you.

You pumped after feeding?

Yep.  It encourages building up or increasing your supply.

[spitforspat]

I just want to give you hugs because I know what a frustrating, hard process it is. It's something that makes you feel like a failure if it doesn't come naturally- but for a lot of women it just doesn't.

You're doing such a great job- it's just HARD. Hang in there, you'll either make it work or find something that works for you. I'm exclusively pumping now, and while I still wish we could've made breastfeeding work, we're both happy as clams and she's growing like a weed. <3

[spitforspat]

OH- I have flat nipples, too. But now that I'm pumping every day they are definitely not flat- lol. So I second the suggestion to pump for a bit.

[emsumm]

You're amazing to be so persistent! The nipple butter is this: Earth Mama Angel Baby Non GMO Natural Nipple Butter Nursing Cream, Lanolin Free, 2 Ounce www.amazon.com/dp/B000JVCBBG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_kJdBxbWWB9JTV
Put it on every single time. And use that shield! It helped Maya latch when nothing else did.

[usuallylurking]

First, as many other wise women in here have said, cut yourself some slack. I have 3 boys, my H is gone for 6-8 weeks at a time (including leaving when DS3 was 10 days old and DS2 was only 14.5 months old), and even still breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've done. Lol.

Use the shield, don't worry about the LC discouraging that for now. I used one with DS1 for 6 months, had a great supply, and we otherwise had a good breastfeeding relationship. As he got older/better at nursing, I would wean off from using it for every feeding.

After she latches, can you use your index finger (or whichever one you want!) to go around and try to shove more of your nipple/boob into her mouth? I had to do this with DS3 to start. It really helped so that he wasn't getting a shallow latch. I had big babies, and I swear their mouths just didn't open as big as other people's.

My preferred hold was with them tucked under my armpit (the football hold). It wasn't until I felt MUCH more confident in myself (and the baby) that I started doing across the body nursing.

It can be really, really frustrating. For being so natural, damn it was hard and I felt totally clueless. I'm glad you have a group to go to tonight. Feel free to ask lots of questions. Have your H there to listen and help, my H would sometimes remember things differently than me, or hear things that I didn't catch, whatever. Extra ears, eyes and hands are helpful.

Hugs, hang in there, and remember that both pumping and formula are perfectly fine options!

[Monica Geller]

It's so hard! You're doing great! I have no other advice than what's already been posted. Just cut yourself some slack!! You're a good mama!

[Muddled]

Hamburger and tickle her the top lip. It gets so much easier as they get older and their mouths get bigger. The beginning is really hard. It should get easier.

[litasail]

Am I remembering correctly that you're in MD*? If so, I'd highly recommend this LC - www.fullcirclelactation.com/whatis.php. She'll come to your house and spend as much time as is needed to help you feel like you have a handle on things and give you an action/game plan. She's amazing and I really credit her with getting me through the early parts of BFing, which are so so so hard.

If you're outside of her area, the Breastfeeding Center for Greater Washington may be able to help you find someone else who can do this - breastfeedingcenter.org/consultations/.

* Sorry if this is creepy, I've just noticed (I think) that you're a fellow Ravens fan.