Post by whattheheck on Jul 29, 2016 10:08:42 GMT -5
It's perfectly okay to mourn the child you lost while still celebrating the children you have. You are not restricted to one emotion to a time. Loss is hard.
See my post in the randoms thread. I'm in a similar situation. I didn't realize today was the day until I had to write it on something this morning. I'm not trying to hijack your post or make it about me, but I am dealing with multiple losses. It's tough, but it gets easier to accept as time goes on.
I felt the same way when I hit my due date for my loss, and I was pregnant! Pregnancy loss can mess with your head. I still feel sad about the baby we lost, but in a way, I feel like I wouldn't have met DD if it hadn't happened, I know it sounds silly...
I get it. I was only about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant when the due date for my miscarriage pregnancy came around. I remember feeling a bit sad, but also felt joy that I was pregnant again. I often think about that pregnancy when I'm looking at my babies and remember that I wouldn't have them if the first pregnancy had been successful.
Miscarriages are so hard. You never have to hide your feelings about it. It is okay to feel however you choose. Sorry today is a tough day.
I have a friend on Facebook who had the exact same due date as me with my IVF-conceived early loss. Her child is now 3 and I still stare at him sadly when his face comes up on my newsfeed.
I'm four years out from my original due date with my miscarriage. I still remember it and mourn that precious little that we wanted so much. It's ok to be sad. ((hugs))
Post by closertofine on Jul 29, 2016 10:25:31 GMT -5
I had trouble with my first due dates too. Now, I've actually forgotten them. I mean, I know the months, but everything has gotten blurry. I'm grateful for that.
I'm about to come up on 5 years since I should have been due. It still hits me a tiny bit even though my DS will be 5 a few months later so it obviously worked out okay. I don't really know what I feel/felt about it either. Sad maybe? Wistful about what it could have been? Guilty because then I wouldn't have DS? Who knows? It's okay to feel... Something and not really understand it.
It's such an odd day. I remember for me it was something that I thought about ALL DAY and for everyone else, it seemed like just another day. Which made me sad that everyone was going about their life not knowing about the baby I'd never meet.
It's OK to feel whatever you're feeling. It seems to get better as time goes on.
The baby that you're carrying isn't a replacement for the one you lost, this baby is it's own wonderful little miracle. It's completely ok to feel sad for your loss while also being excited for the baby you are carrying.
Post by WillabyWallabyWu on Jul 29, 2016 10:58:40 GMT -5
I have two kids and still feel sad on my EDD of my miscarriages. And that's ok because to me, it's honoring those babies and the short time we were together. It's what I need to feel, so I don't fight it. Hugs to you.
I'm sorry - expected due dates are hard. I still get a bit sad when they come around for our two losses, especially the one where it was a 12w loss, even though I have two healthy kids.