If you have 3 kids, come talk to me

[prettyinpearls]

I have two sons: DS1 is 6.5 and DS2 will be 3 next month. I've sworn up and down that we're done with kids, sold all the baby stuff, and looked forward to the boys getting older and more independent.

That is, until a few nights ago. I had a vivid dream that I was pregnant with a little girl and when I woke up instead of having a feeling of "Noooooope!" I had a feeling of "I don't think that would be too awful..."  I know H would love to have another kid (DS1 is his stepson), but he's been supportive of me not wanting any more because he knows that with his job, schedule, and farming, the bulk of the parenting falls on me.

I thought for sure that this feeling would subside, but I can't stop thinking about having a 3rd baby. We wouldn't TTC until a year from now (to get closer to having 2 in school full time, because daycare is expensive), so I have a whole year to talk myself out of it.

If you have 3 kids, how is it going from 2 to 3? Be honest with me. 

[flex]

I have three: #1 was 9-1/2; #2 was 7-1/2, when DS#3 was born. The older boys helped out with fetching me diapers, etc, and entertaining him. Granted #3 was a super mellow baby, but having #3 with older children was not as difficult as with the first two.

[snipsnsnails]

I have 3 kids. Right now they're 5, 3 & 1, so we're a bit in the trenches. But this season is so fleeting it seems. I've told friends that while adding a third so close together is exhausting, I think it's because *I* am older. My body didn't bounce back after this kid and I'm just more tired and older. Heh. We wouldn't change it for the world and hope to add one more.

[textbookcase]

Going from 2 to 3 was way easier than going from 1 to 2. Especially since there's an 8 and 5 year gap between my oldest 2 and youngest. They were super helpful when she was a baby. And now my oldest is a built-in babysitter.

[Deleted]

It really isn't that bad. The worst part for me was bedtime and dealing with Theo's 2 year old shenanigans while having a newborn, but my middle and youngest kids are only 21 months apart, so yeah.

But other than that, it has been fine. My youngest is just entering the crazy toddler phase, so obviously there are still days where I want to run away, lol, but there were days like like when I had only one or two kids.

And my husband is gone 3 weeks/month, so I totally understand the part where you're left doing basically everything. Having 3 kids truly isn't that bad. Very busy, but it's fun.

And yes, as others have said, it's easier going from 2-3 than 1-2. I found with going from 1-2, I had a fake sense of "oh, well one isn't that bad, how hard can a second be?!". With 3, you're already prepared for the craziness, lol.

[pegasuskat]

Mine are grown now, but we had a "surprise" third when the older two were six and seven. Best surprise I've ever had, and I don't ever regret it at all. The older two loved her, thought she was a little doll to play with and were actually good help with her. I will admit her being so young kept me sometimes from being able to do things with the older two, but overall it wasn't bad - we usually just took her everywhere they needed to go.

[indianchica]

Our 3rd was a surprise so I went from, "Please don't let this be happening!" to "Well, we have three now" to "I love having three" in a year. It is easier than going from 1 to 2. My older two sort of thought of the baby as a little pet or living doll for a couple of years so they were incredibly doting siblings. (Not so much now, by the way.)

ETA: Plus DH and I come from very small families and are introverted so it's kind of fun/weird to have so much chatter at any moment.

[tinybride]

2 to 3 wasn't bad. 1 to 2 was hard but because I have an 8 year gap between them and it was starting all over again. We added a 4th girl this past September and I don't think it's much harder but the sleep deprivation sucks. She's my worst sleeper of all of them! That's what makes it hard. She's still waking up like a newborn so that affects my moods and dealing with the craziness. Summer is almost over and I'll have 2 back in school so I'm looking forward to that. Also from a financial standpoint we're feeling it more now as they are growing. Our grocery bill is ridiculous.

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2016 11:20:54 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

That's how it starts... 

Yep. One day I just decided to go for #3 (DH was always on board). We have 3 girls, ages 8, 4 and 4 months. Adding #3 was easy, truly. My 8 year old is super helpful and there haven't been any jealousy issues.

[katiescarlett]

I thought it was a lot harder going from 1 to 2. DS2 (my 3rd) is a real piece of work and a challenging kid overall but he is also the sweetest little buddy you could ask for. And we had a fourth so obviously we didnt regret it! If you have a year to consider then you have time to decide what is right for your family.

[bbonanza]

Same as PP, three wasn't in our plans, but DD3 came along and her sisters adored her.  It was tough the first year, and we did have all three in daycare for a year, but now could not imagine what life would be like with only two.  Ages currently 8, 6 & 4.

From this past Mother's Day

[bittybomb]

My third came when his sister was only 15 months old, so its kind of foggy for me.  But I feel like he just slipped right in.  I had my 3 within 3 1/2 years so it was really chaotic for a bit, but things are now much more calm (they are 8, 5 and 4).  I mean, we are still busy as a family of 5, but its our normal, if that makes sense.  I wouldn't change having my 3 for anything.  My third baby was by far my most difficult, however, and he is still the most defiant of the bunch.  He is also such a snugglebutt and adores his role as the 'baby' and is hysterically funny, so his defiance doesn't kill me as much as I thought it might.  His defiance is waning a bit too as he gets older.

[quietlyloud]

I have 5 now, but I had my first 3 in a 3 year span. (dd and ds1 are 22 months apart and ds1 and ds2 are 14 months apart). Going to 3 that quickly was really hard. The hardest transition I had. But, as I had more it was easier having older siblings around. They can hold a baby while you run to the bathroom, or grab a diaper or wipes quickly.
I think it's more about being outnumbered? I only have 2 hands so I couldn't easily just grab hands and go.

[cinco]

Going from 2 to 3 kicked me in the butt. The first year was okay, but the next couple were tough. #3 was not an easy toddler/preschooler and we were dealing with OCD/anxiety with my oldest at that time, plus moving and all the fun that goes with it. Now, it is great though. There are times when it is a pain having 2 in the same stage, and then a younger one. She gets dragged along to many sports practices and games. The older two are amazing with her. They get her breakfast, play with her, read to her. Everything but take her potty. Plus she is definitely my funniest kid and the total wild card. She makes our lives more entertaining and unpredictable

[mommytutu]

I have a 7, 5, and 3. The year after my DS was born was a little rough but I had a 2 year old and a needy 4 year old. Now that they are older it's wonderful. Still super busy and loud, very loud but watching them play together makes me know we made the right choice. I love that they will always have each other.

[prettyinpearls]

I appreciate all of the input. I'm trying to not be naïve and be all "Well, the oldest two will be 8.5 and 5 (roughly) so it has to be easier, right?" Like others have mentioned, I'm used to the chaos of 2 kids, so what's 1 more, right? RIGHT?

My biggest struggle with 2 is that I feel like a ping pong ball, bouncing back and forth, whether it be one kid needing something from me or just talking/asking incessant questions. Throw in a third and it'd be a damn juggling act!

[friendz4eva]

I have 3. DD1 was 5 and DD2 was 3 when DS was born. I will admit it was tougher for me going from 2 to 3, rather than 1 to 2. But I love having 3. Especially on Friday night while I watch them play (with a drink in my hand).
Plus, I think that having a 5 + year age gap between the baby and the middle would be nice!

[emoflamingo]

I think the third grows up way quicker. It's amazing how fast the first year of her life flew. DS1 was (and is) old enough that I can ask him to get me things (like "hey, get me a diaper/bring me her cup/take that from her") and he is super helpful. I think having 2 siblings is rough on him because he was an only child for 6 years, but it's not an all the time issue.

My H has a work schedule that isn't even that strenuous but I still am the primary caregiver - I do all the doctor's appointments, dentist, school enrollment etc. He has occasionally stayed home from work with a sick kid but I'm still the primary for that because he's at work before the rest of us are up in the morning. The bonus for that is that he's home for the bus so we don't pay for before/after care.

[hymen]

I can tell you in about 4.5 months.

But I will say I'm terrified.

[mommytutu]

I enjoyed my third as a baby so much more because I wasn't so nervous or paranoid as I was with my first or second.

[Marmee]

For me, the first year of having 3 was rough....but all my first 3 are 2yrs apart. After the first year, it's been great. So great I decided to have a 4th when my 3rd was almost 4. My 4th was a breeze because I had my older daughters ready to help at any moment. If I was younger, I'd have another couple.

[fivechickens]

I went from 0 to 3. I do not recommend that.

My friends who have three kids different ages said that, for them, going from 2-3 was easier than 1-2.

[whereintheworld]

2-3 was fine in the beginning when the baby is portable and sleeps a lot. I found ages 1-2.5 hard with my youngest because my older two boys were going in opposite directions and it was chaotic - exacerbated by the fact that I have 3 rambunctious boys.

Now that they're 3.5, 5 and 6.5, things are pretty easy. It's fun that they have each other. They fight hard but they love hard too.

[melodramatic26]

I'm only 4 weeks into having 3...

So far, having a 3rd has been awesome. Granted, Dd1 and 2 are only 26 months apart. When dd2 was a newborn and 1 was a toddler, it was hard, SO HARD.

With dd2 almost 4 and dd1 almost 6, having a newborn is much easier. The girls can take care of themselves and love helping with their brother. I also have to admit that the baby is an amazing night sleeper (only waking up once in the middle of the night), so Dh and I aren't feeling exhausted at all.

With the newborn, I'm much more chill with him. I am breastfeeding, but also supplementing with formula when needed. I'm very aware of the girls needing my attention and time too so I am relaxed about handing over the baby to Dh and letting him parent how he wants (I was not like this with the girls).

We are enjoying this new dynamic and it feels like it was supposed to be like this.

[prettyinpearls]

RexManningDay, you're 100% right.

[ThirdandLong]

I have 3 kiddos. It was easier to go from 2 to 3 than from 1 to 2. The bigger kids are old enough that I do trust them to watch a movie or play a game while baby-now-toddler and I nap. The bigger kids are old enough to take care of their bathroom activities - showering, teethbrushing, etc - with a simple "go do that." The bigger kids take care of their wardrobe choices for the most part. I also have a very involved spouse, so if I'm going crazy packing lunchboxes or supervising homework time and handling the toddler, then he steps in without comment needed from me. He & I split household chores, so even though we both work full time, it's manageable.

And one of the best parts is how they all play together. The big kids involve the toddler in their play time, let her fight villains with the Thor hammer and pat her little head when she's pretending to be a puppy and sit with her while she puts on and takes off Barbie shoes one million times. It's awesome as their mom to watch them interact together. They love each other SO MUCH!

That said... my oldest was my bad sleeper, and my two girls were good sleepers. It might have been a different story if #3 came along and was awake for hours and hours during the night. She wasn't, though. And I felt like a human being in the morning, almost every morning. That makes a big difference, I think.

[cuddlyevil]

Ages 10.5, 6.5, & 5 here. It's been hard, but it's a lot easier now that they're older. But it was a shock when I found out I was PG with DS2--we were "done". I always tell people, it just gets noisier. Going from one to two is a lot harder.

[bittybomb]

Aug 3, 2016 12:26:15 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

I appreciate all of the input. I'm trying to not be naïve and be all "Well, the oldest two will be 8.5 and 5 (roughly) so it has to be easier, right?" Like others have mentioned, I'm used to the chaos of 2 kids, so what's 1 more, right? RIGHT?

My biggest struggle with 2 is that I feel like a ping pong ball, bouncing back and forth, whether it be one kid needing something from me or just talking/asking incessant questions. Throw in a third and it'd be a damn juggling act!

I do worry about how busy we might be in the next 2 years once the little guy gets involved in his own after school activities and sports.  But, we will make it work.

[CheeringCharm]

It was really hard to be honest but ours are all pretty close in age (DS1 wasn't even 4 yet when DD was born). I'm sure it's easier with a larger age gap.

I love it now. The hardest thing is juggling their extracurriculars. I spend a LOT of time driving them around   lol 

[wildfloweragain]

It was hard at first, but got easier. Our 3rd makes life easier to take, in general, with her personality so there's that.

It is getting hectic now with 3 kids in different activities. My time is definitely never my own, but I'm sure that's the case with people with 2 kids.

They are 11, 9 and 6 yrs old.