And Wtf to everyone judging her bff story. When my Dad died at home my step mom held him and sobbed for over an hour. People came and sat with him, kissed his forehead, held his hand, etc.
It's weird to judge how others grieve.
We did all of this at the hospital when my dad died. I didn't realize this was something to be judgy about. Except for coming in to tell us that he had passed, the ICU staff just let us be from the time the ventilator was disconnected until 4-5 hours after he was gone.
I don't know, this feels icky. I will say I don't think the going to her friends house and laying with her dead body happened. I mean, the police get called, bodies get stiff and no!
With the 3 people I have been close enough to to know the process(?) with, and assuming her BFF was in hospice care, the police are not called. Could be different in each state, but when someone passes that is under hospice care, the hospice worker calls the hospice company, then calls 911 for an ambulance, and then calls the funeral home. An ambulance comes to declare the death and then leaves. The funeral home comes and takes the body. From death to leaving the home, in my experiences, it ranged from 3 to 5 hours.
I don't know - is it any more gross(?) weird(?) to lay with someone in privacy for a few minutes than kiss them at the funeral home? Again, I don't know, but I'm not going to judge it.
With my FIL, who was in hospice, the ambulance wasn't even called. He passed away in front of MIL, who then called the hospice worker, then H and I. When we got there, he was sitting upright--first time I've seen a dead body. My MIL insisted on keeping FIL's body at the house all day, which I thought was uber creepy, but it was what she wanted.
When H passed away, I spent time with him until the funeral home came by to get his body. It took awhile for someone to arrive. I suppose someone could have come over to see him before they took him, BUT his passing was completely unexpected--FIL's passing was not.
What I'm saying it's entirely conceivable that His could have gone by the house to be with her friend since she had been in hospice.
ETA: Back in olden times, everyone died at home. It was an accepted practice. Hospitals came along later.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I'm not going to try to go back and figure out how this thread turned to this topic. I'm just going to say that all goodbyes end with touch. Some touches need to be longer than others. I'm glad I was there at the vet when my cat took his final breath. I held his body all the way home and nearly refused to put him in the ground because I swore I could still feel him purring.
I remember my Grandfather on my Father's side only because my Father's Mother told me to touch his wedding ring. I was two, but that one touch gave me the memory of her holding me, the yellow roses, the coffin, his face, and the cool slick metal of the gold ring next to the cold wrinkled feel of his fingers.
There is something sacred about touching the dead.
It's not weird. Maybe it scares you. But it's not weird.
I couldn't tell you how long it took the funeral home to pick up my Mom when she died.
Or how long it took Hospice to arrive when we called. Who then called the funeral home.
But I can tell you my Dad didn't leave her side until it was literally time to pack her up, so to speak.
If this is what you are basing your red flags on, might I suggest you shove said flag somewhere?
Your Dad's behavior is absolutely to be expected in that situation.
Which is why it strikes me as very odd that the deceased woman's husband would have thought to call someone else to come over in the middle of the night as soon as she passed.
Adding to the this is gross sentiment. If you are suspicious, fine be suspicious, but you better have good reason and receipts - ESPECIALLY when you are trying to say someone is making up or embellishing their cancer. Just keep that shit to yourself.
My aunt died of cancer at the hospital. My mom's entire side went to hospital after she died and sat around for two hours talking, crying, hugging and sharing stories. All while she was on the bed (deceased) and my cousin was curled up next to her. So no, going and cuddling with a deceased relative/friend is not all that weird.
I couldn't tell you how long it took the funeral home to pick up my Mom when she died.
Or how long it took Hospice to arrive when we called. Who then called the funeral home.
But I can tell you my Dad didn't leave her side until it was literally time to pack her up, so to speak.
If this is what you are basing your red flags on, might I suggest you shove said flag somewhere?
Your Dad's behavior is absolutely to be expected in that situation.
Which is why it strikes me as very odd that the deceased woman's husband would have thought to call someone else to come over in the middle of the night as soon as she passed.
ETA: Because this conversation aside, because I don't know His and I don't know her BFF or her husband, but STOP JUDGING HOW PEOPLE FUCKING GRIEVE.
“With sorrow—for this Court, but more, for the many millions of American women who have today lost a fundamental constitutional protection—we dissent,”
I couldn't tell you how long it took the funeral home to pick up my Mom when she died.
Or how long it took Hospice to arrive when we called. Who then called the funeral home.
But I can tell you my Dad didn't leave her side until it was literally time to pack her up, so to speak.
If this is what you are basing your red flags on, might I suggest you shove said flag somewhere?
Your Dad's behavior is absolutely to be expected in that situation.
Which is why it strikes me as very odd that the deceased woman's husband would have thought to call someone else to come over in the middle of the night as soon as she passed.
I am just guessing, but His probably asked her BFF's husband to call her when the end came. I know I'd ask the same of my friend's spouses.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Which is why it strikes me as very odd that the deceased woman's husband would have thought to call someone else to come over in the middle of the night as soon as she passed.
This is my first comment in this thread. I am going to guess that she wasn't just some random friend. They were best friends. I am guessing they were probably friends for a long time because she talked about reliving memories with other friends. So I guess I don't see why it'd be so surprising that he'd let her know she had passed - especially considering her own battle - and let her come over to say goodbye.
I couldn't tell you how long it took the funeral home to pick up my Mom when she died.
Or how long it took Hospice to arrive when we called. Who then called the funeral home.
But I can tell you my Dad didn't leave her side until it was literally time to pack her up, so to speak.
If this is what you are basing your red flags on, might I suggest you shove said flag somewhere?
Your Dad's behavior is absolutely to be expected in that situation.
Which is why it strikes me as very odd that the deceased woman's husband would have thought to call someone else to come over in the middle of the night as soon as she passed.
We called certain extremely important people to my Mom. Who came.
I am really surprised and saddened that people would question His. Especially since she's gone through ten piles of shit.
People have questioned her for years.
It's def in poor taste that it was done now, myself included obviously. But after reading the celiac mom thread ... It didn't seem that crazy to me anymore.
I never tagged his, nor would I have and I shouldn't have gone into detail.
Did you ever stop to think how it can tax a person's immune system when people unfairly judge you in your weakest moments? Christ.
She handled laying next to her deceased best friend and her daughter giving birth to a premie and her son being an ass over the house she is giving him, I really hope I am not her biggest concern.
If I am, his ignore me and don't think twice about me. My words are not worth your concern.
Did you ever stop to think how it can tax a person's immune system when people unfairly judge you in your weakest moments? Christ.
She handled laying next to her deceased best friend and her daughter giving birth to a premie and her son being an ass over the house she is giving him, I really hope I am not her biggest concern.
If I am, his ignore me and don't think twice about me. My words are not worth your concern.
I like drama on the board sometimes, but I figured it was regarding some random named CaptainCornPops who has a backyard breeding facility to pay for a lipo addiction. I've always liked His.
And if that makes me an eventual fool because somebody will out her for being a fake today or another day, so be it.
But I see no proof.
As someone who has had some tough times recently that don't even remotely compare to what she is experiencing, I can only hope that she can take comfort in the love of her family and friends, including a strong group of Internet friends right here on this board.
She is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people here, and I am honestly taken aback by this line of attack.
Sometimes it's ok to keep our thoughts to ourselves.
Then why the fuck do y'all keep asking for receipts?
If is all so gross whyyyyyy are you up in arms about wanting more info.
Call me out all day, especially if I deserve it.
But don't play both sides.
Eta: I literally read "these things shouldn't be said!" And then got a tag that said "tell me more"
I think the point is, if you ARE going to open your mouth, you better have actual PROOF. So, either provide the proof (AKA-Receipts), or don't talk about it.
Also-RECEIPTS means actual PROOF, not a collection of posts with outlandish stories. RECEIPTS are when people come here with screenshots of texts/PMs/FB posts/whatever that PROVE the poster lied. I think your use of that word made people believe you had actual proof. You just have a theory based on her past posts.
The mob mentality online is so fucking gross sometimes.
I feel like we're swinging the other way now.
Laz is not a soul less dick or a dreadful person. She has feelings she maybe should have kept quiet or had better timing in expressing. She's not a monster, we can put the pitchforks away.
Just really people, some thoughts don't need to be shared.
Post by killercupcake on Aug 15, 2016 17:05:39 GMT -5
People were asking for proof because the "I know something you don't know" game is so tired. If you're going to call someone a liar/exaggerator or whatever, be ready to back it up. And with some actual facts.
Laz is not a soul less dick or a dreadful person. She has feelings she maybe should have kept quiet or had better timing in expressing. She's not a monster, we can put the pitchforks away.
Just really people, some thoughts don't need to be shared.
Yeah, but honestly she needs to just say "I got over excited and I'm sorry."
This is also true.
And really, I understand why people are suspicious (of anyone and everyone) but a little bit of kindness goes a long way. And it costs nothing.