S/O scarred for life: What should be allowed?

[ChillyMcFreeze]

I'm new to NBC, so I'm sure this has come up before. But what do you think of the annual scandal around school reading lists? I think teachers try to include some provocative reads to capture students' interest, and helicopter parents go ape shit every year without fail. "The Bean Trees" by Barbara Kingsolver comes to mind.

Are there topics that school reading lists shouldn't touch? Anything you had to read in school that crossed a line in your mind?

[ChillyMcFreeze]

FTR, I'm a dirty liberal hippie who would let my own hypothetical children read pretty much anything that interested them. As long as they're reading, I'm not too concerned.

[2curlydogs]

So long as the reading is grade/age appropriate, I am against censoring reading material just because the topics may be "uncomfortable".

If you're giving me a list, it's my responsibility as a parent to do the research and talk about the books with my children.

I can't think of anything I read for a school assignment that crossed a line. And my teachers were pretty hard pressed finding me age appropriate books that were at my reading level.

[lemondrop]

I don't think there are many (if any) topics that school reading lists shouldn't cover. I'm OK with homosexuality, teenage sexuality (in an appropriate way), religion (as long as it's not pushed as the "correct religion"), and pretty much anything else. I do think there are some books that might take the topics farther than some students can handle reading, though. I think in that case parents should be able to have a say in that.

Also, pretty much everyone is new or barely posted on the real NBC board, so I don't think any book discussion topics are off limits.

[lemondrop]

I also don't remember reading anything that seemed to cross a line. I went to a pretty conservative school, though, so they probably weeded out any challenged books from the curriculum.

[ThirdandLong]

I think it depends on the age. I'm a conservative parent, so if I reviewed the book list and didn't think my teen was ready to read something, then I'd probably ask the teacher for alternate materials while that book was being read. I'm not about making a huge stink, but if it comes up, I would try to handle the matter privately.

For me, or in my opinion, the only topics I wouldn't potentially be comfortable with my teen reading would be sexual topics, especially a brutal description of rape or statutory rape of any kind. I would just prefer to shield my teen from that. But I know it's written about, of course.

[iamali]

Well, hs kids certainly shouldn't be allowed to read 50 Shades of Gray.

Mainly because the writing is so atricious.

[ChillyMcFreeze]

iamali, I will amend my position to exclude "literary atrocities" from future children's reading lists.

[hopecounts]

Unless the book is clearly not age/grade appropriate (lord of the flies in 3rd grade or something) I trust the teacher knows what s/he's doing in picking the book.
If there was a topic I was worried about I'd use it to have a conversation with my kid about that topic (drinking, sex, homosexuality, etc.).
I was always reading above my grade level/age and so there were times I was reading certain books that my Mom had to discuss with me to make sure I was ok/give me her view on the topic.

[BravoBravo]

May 17, 2012 16:31:31 GMT -5 hopecounts said:

Unless the book is clearly not age/grade appropriate (lord of the flies in 3rd grade or something) I trust the teacher knows what s/he's doing in picking the book.
If there was a topic I was worried about I'd use it to have a conversation with my kid about that topic (drinking, sex, homosexuality, etc.).
I was always reading above my grade level/age and so there were times I was reading certain books that my Mom had to discuss with me to make sure I was ok/give me her view on the topic.

This is kind of my way of thinking.

[bluelikejazz]

I don't have kids, so I can't comment on how I would handle required reading, but I'd like to think I could read along side them and talk through the "tough parts" with them if needed.

I remember being appalled at the language in Catcher in the Rye when I was 15. But I was also a goody goody and would probably let my hypothetical 15 year old read it without flinching...

[mollymoe]

I agree with ChillyMcFreeze. I'm very liberal and would probably let my kids read whatever they wanted especially in high school. Most books that I've seen on banned lists seem so ridiculous.

I've always been a big reader. I had a young aunt and she would give me her old books and clothes. I'm not sure my mom knew everything she gave me (Anais Nin for example!) but my mom is also very liberal and a big reader. She never once said I couldn't read a book. At most she would gently hint that a book might be beyond my reading level.

[imoan]

I'm so anti censorship... I have a hard time saying I would ban any books from the list. I would like to believe I'd allow my children to read any books, under my supervision in case they have any difficult questions.

[mollymoe]

May 17, 2012 16:22:25 GMT -5 ThirdandLong said:

I think it depends on the age. I'm a conservative parent, so if I reviewed the book list and didn't think my teen was ready to read something, then I'd probably ask the teacher for alternate materials while that book was being read. I'm not about making a huge stink, but if it comes up, I would try to handle the matter privately.

For me, or in my opinion, the only topics I wouldn't potentially be comfortable with my teen reading would be sexual topics, especially a brutal description of rape or statutory rape of any kind. I would just prefer to shield my teen from that. But I know it's written about, of course.

Actually, this just reminded me, when I was young, I found a box of books my mother had as a kid. I read one of the books and there was a rape scene and it did bother me. I think I would still let my child read it but I would mention it before and tell her how it made me feel.

[duckduck]

I'm pretty conservative and had a very sheltered upbringing. But I read The Hiding Place when I was, I think, 9. A little early, maybe, but I lived.

If I were a parent and felt like a book dealt with a topic in a way my child wasn't ready for, I would ask for alternate reading material for the assignment for him/her to read. I might ask the teacher to reconsider the book choice and explain why I felt like the book in question wasn't appropriate for the age level.

If it were a literary atrocity, I would complain on those grounds.

But I don't think there should be any topics that are taboo to address in and of themselves. I'd rather my kid read about drug use or risky sex or whatever and get a sense of the repercussions through books than try them out for themselves, KWIM?

[sam20]

I don't know if I think anything should be off limits.

If I know something might be graphic or have a little bit of a taboo subject then I'll probably read the book with her or before her and maybe discuss those things with her.

[ChillyMcFreeze]

I think it's a great idea to read the books with your kids to tackle any mature topics that come up. Maybe if those aforementioned helicopter parents actually read the thing, they would find that the "ZOMG sex!!!" reaction is unnecessary. The hype surrounding these books is usually a lot more reactionary than the content really merits.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Honestly, I really don't want to censor what my kids read. I may change my mind when I have older children, but for the most part I feel like reading is "safer" than TV/movies. You're limited by your imagination, so I feel like a scene is less likely to haunt you than something you saw.

I read some pretty racy books as a teen. I'm sure my mom would have been mortified if she knew the content of some of the books I was reading, but even if she'd known, I'm fairly sure she wouldn't have tried to censor them. She's pretty liberal too!

[charlatti]

I don't want to put anything off limits and I definitely don't want to see books banned from schools or libraries. But for classroom discussion, I think teachers need to know their classes pretty well before tackling a sensitive topic. One group of 16 year olds might handle, say, The Handmaid's Tale with maturity and understanding, while another group at the same age will get stuck on giggling at the sex and completely miss every other point.

What's the problem with The Bean Trees? I haven't read it in a while, but it doesn't seem that controversial. Single motherhood? Language?

[apelila]

May 17, 2012 16:15:44 GMT -5 ChillyMcFreeze said:

FTR, I'm a dirty liberal hippie who would let my own hypothetical children read pretty much anything that interested them. As long as they're reading, I'm not too concerned.

Haha, I would classify myself like this too!
Expand the mind and discuss together!

[ChillyMcFreeze]

May 18, 2012 8:22:35 GMT -5 charlatti said:

I don't want to put anything off limits and I definitely don't want to see books banned from schools or libraries. But for classroom discussion, I think teachers need to know their classes pretty well before tackling a sensitive topic. One group of 16 year olds might handle, say, The Handmaid's Tale with maturity and understanding, while another group at the same age will get stuck on giggling at the sex and completely miss every other point.

What's the problem with The Bean Trees? I haven't read it in a while, but it doesn't seem that controversial. Single motherhood? Language?

Probably child abuse. Some of those descriptions were disturbing, but nothing a high schooler couldn't handle IMO. Or perhaps in some communities, the issue of tribal adoption is more touchy than in others.

[charminglife]

I think it is just parents trying to exert control over their child and the school when they challenge reading lists. I cant think of any situation where I'd prevent my child from reading an assigned book - or any book that they chose for themselves at the library or bookstore. If my future spawn is reading - then I'm doing something right.

Here's an interesting read - the most challenged/banned books of 2010 - 2011, including the reasons for the challenge and some steps the schools took to make it more palatable. I couldn't get past the first page without rolling my eyes - in FL, Running with Scissors was challenged in a college-level HS class for Juniors and Seniors.

[lemondrop]

I think the most important thing is just discussing with your child what he/she is reading for pleasure or for school. If a book has been challlenged, I might read it as well (unless I know it was challenged for a stupid reason), so I can discuss the heavier topics with my child in a safe environment.

[PinkSquirrel]

I think it's really important to not censor books. When you tell kids they can't do something they immediately want to do it and I think for a lot of the books that the censor loving types have issues with discussion surrounding the topics involved in the books is really important.

[briedrew]

I think it's an opportunity as a parent to have tough discussions with your kids. Keep in mind I'm saying this as someone who has no kids so this is all what I think I'd do and what I'm planning. It could change. I'd read the book with or slightly ahead to know what's coming up in it. If there's anything that I have an issue with or that I think my kid would have an issue with, we'll talk about it. I understand wanting to protect your children, but I think some of that is having tough conversations about tough topics in a safe place.

[dragonfly08]

I'm against censorship, so I'm pretty much ok with anything DDs teacher assigns as long as it's age-appropriate. And I've looked over the leveled book lists provided by her school reading specialist and nothing jumped out at me. I do have to keep an eye out because DD does read two grade levels ahead, so stuff she can comprehend isn't always appropriate topic-wise (for example, she's very interested in Anne Frank and I've got no problem with her reading biographies, Holocaust-related books, etc. but I do not think she's emotionally ready for some of the content in the actual diary so when she brought it home from the school library last week I sat down with her to explain why I wasn't going to allow her to read it just yet...she was ok with that and knows that I will tell her when I think she's ready).

[ThirdandLong]

May 18, 2012 9:27:32 GMT -5 dragonfly08 said:

<snip> (for example, she's very interested in Anne Frank and I've got no problem with her reading biographies, Holocaust-related books, etc. but I do not think she's emotionally ready for some of the content in the actual diary so when she brought it home from the school library last week I sat down with her to explain why I wasn't going to allow her to read it just yet...she was ok with that and knows that I will tell her when I think she's ready).

That's very interesting, and I'm glad you shared this. I read The Diary in 5th grade, and it did have an affect on me. It's a scary and sad story at times, but the fact that it really happened to this young girl, I think, changed me as a young person.

[moreace01]

I'm really against censoring any book. But I don't always think topics are appropriate for younger people. Or even - would they get it? I'm thinking specifically of the fact that in my high school English class, we had to read The Scarlet Letter, and while I don't think the subject matter is something children/teens shouldn't know about, I do sort of feel that maybe it doesn't mean much to them - know what I mean? Same with The Great Gatsby - also usual required high school reading. Both tackle the subject of adultery but for the average kid, I don't think this really means much to many of them. Death is easily understandable. But cheating on a spouse? Not as much unless they have first-hand experience due to their family.

I also know someone who had to read The Handmaid's Tale in high school - which I sort of feel to have a really intelligent discussion on, might be more of a college level book.

That was a long ramble but I guess - the goal of reading lists is to get kids to want to read and to provoke discussions. Using subjects that are relatable to kids goes a long way to making life-long readers.

[Nonny]

I think of all the various things can mess a kid up reading slightly too mature books is probably not one of them. My dad, grandma, and older brother were HUGE readers of books when I was growing up, so I started picking up Stephen King and Sydney Sheldon probably when I was about 10. If a theme was too mature or I didn't get it I would just kind of skim/gloss over it.

That isn't to say I think fourth graders should be taught the themes in The Stand in school en mass, but if a fourth grader wants to pick it up for pleasure reading I wouldn't object.

[aurora]

One thing is for sure: putting a book on the censored list will certainly increase its visibility (and therefore probably the number of people who read it!). I was a pretty obedient child, but when my mother forbade me from reading a book once I made sure to read it without her knowing.