VENTING inside, add your own if you wish

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2016 8:45:38 GMT -5 lostrn said:

Aug 27, 2016 8:10:57 GMT -5 bittybomb said:

And lostrn, I'd be really ticked off. Him completely ignoring your texts is passive aggressive and disrespectful as hell.

Have you heard from him yet?

To be fair about ignoring my texts, he was on his motorcycle and you especially can't text and drive on that. He decided to take a road trip (at 9pm??) and spend the night about 2 hours away from here. Didn't have the time to tell me before he left. Ok, whatever. I'm not even pissed. Have the bed to myself and an empty house today, it's like heaven. As long as work doesn't call me later needing help.

I would not have been mad at him simply not responding to your text if he was legit busy or on his motorcycle. But the whole evening he was being a passive aggressive baby. The first time I'd be annoyed is the "I guess there's my answer" when you said you weren't coming home yet. The only reason he didn't tell you where he was going and ignored your texts is to "teach you a lesson" for not coming home when he deemed it appropriate.

Nope, I don't play that game and I would let him know how I felt when he got home.

[nicbreeful]

lostrn.. Wait, so it's ok for him to be out all night, road trip at 9 pm and spending the night away from home but you're not allowed to go to happy hour for 5 hours without him throwing a tantrum?

Um..

[lostrn]

Aug 27, 2016 11:25:08 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

lostrn.. Wait, so it's ok for him to be out all night, road trip at 9 pm and spending the night away from home but you're not allowed to go to happy hour for 5 hours without him throwing a tantrum?

Um..

Yes. Exactly. Wtf? But apparently I was the one who acted without consideration first (by not giving him an eta) so his actions don't count. Whatever.

I realize his actions are rude and uncalled for. No question about that to me. I'm trying to objectively figure out if the roles were reversed for the happy hour business, if I was the one at home waiting for him and he kept checking in with me but couldn't give an eta, if I would be pissed. And since in this situation we had no plans I don't think I would be. Clearly I married to an asshole and I know this, but occasionally (rarely) he is right and I am wrong, but i think this time he's the one who's wrong.

[nicbreeful]

Aug 27, 2016 12:21:43 GMT -5 lostrn said:

Aug 27, 2016 11:25:08 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

lostrn.. Wait, so it's ok for him to be out all night, road trip at 9 pm and spending the night away from home but you're not allowed to go to happy hour for 5 hours without him throwing a tantrum?

Um..

Yes. Exactly. Wtf? But apparently I was the one who acted without consideration first (by not giving him an eta) so his actions don't count. Whatever.

I realize his actions are rude and uncalled for. No question about that to me. I'm trying to objectively figure out if the roles were reversed for the happy hour business, if I was the one at home waiting for him and he kept checking in with me but couldn't give an eta, if I would be pissed. And since in this situation we had no plans I don't think I would be. Clearly I married to an asshole and I know this, but occasionally (rarely) he is right and I am wrong, but i think this time he's the one who's wrong.

And if the roles were reversed again? Would he be cool with you road tripping for an entire night, all alone while he's at home?

[boxertdog]

Have you googled the term "gaslighting"? This is abusive behavior. This is not ok.

[bittybomb]

Aug 27, 2016 12:21:43 GMT -5 lostrn said:

Aug 27, 2016 11:25:08 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

lostrn.. Wait, so it's ok for him to be out all night, road trip at 9 pm and spending the night away from home but you're not allowed to go to happy hour for 5 hours without him throwing a tantrum?

Um..

Yes. Exactly. Wtf? But apparently I was the one who acted without consideration first (by not giving him an eta) so his actions don't count. Whatever.

I realize his actions are rude and uncalled for. No question about that to me. I'm trying to objectively figure out if the roles were reversed for the happy hour business, if I was the one at home waiting for him and he kept checking in with me but couldn't give an eta, if I would be pissed. And since in this situation we had no plans I don't think I would be. Clearly I married to an asshole and I know this, but occasionally (rarely) he is right and I am wrong, but i think this time he's the one who's wrong.

My husband and I both go out for happy hour after work reasonably often. And because its typically work related we just don't know when we will be home. We can estimate or try to be home by a certain time, but no matter what, we always keep each other in the loop. I've never gotten mad at him and nor has he at me. If we completely ignored one another, then maybe. But in this case? No fucking way.

[bittybomb]

And I'll add to that - you thought he planned a trip anyway, so what the fuck were you rushing home to? A husband who was getting ready to head out himself? GTFO right now with that shit.

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2016 12:21:43 GMT -5 lostrn said:

Aug 27, 2016 11:25:08 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

lostrn .. Wait, so it's ok for him to be out all night, road trip at 9 pm and spending the night away from home but you're not allowed to go to happy hour for 5 hours without him throwing a tantrum?

Um..

Yes. Exactly. Wtf? But apparently I was the one who acted without consideration first (by not giving him an eta) so his actions don't count. Whatever.

I realize his actions are rude and uncalled for. No question about that to me. I'm trying to objectively figure out if the roles were reversed for the happy hour business, if I was the one at home waiting for him and he kept checking in with me but couldn't give an eta, if I would be pissed. And since in this situation we had no plans I don't think I would be. Clearly I married to an asshole and I know this, but occasionally (rarely) he is right and I am wrong, but i think this time he's the one who's wrong.

No you are definitely not wrong. I don't know the backstory, but I'm sorry you're going through this. My ex could be like that and it was infuriating. I would always be like can't we just live in peace?! He would make everything in to a bigger deal than it needed to be and make passive aggressive comments. So annoying, grow up. Anyway, you have no reason to feel bad or think you were in the wrong.