What White Posters Can Do

[TamiTaylor]

Sept 2, 2016 22:42:36 GMT -5 Brie said:

I love me some Pokemon but GTFO @supergreen. Willful ignorance is not fucking acceptable. Are you kidding me with this shit?

All of this except loving Pokemon.

[anna7602]

((@natariru))

[anna7602]

Good luck getting superwhite to think and reflect. has everyone already forgotten the Maria thing?

[bronxgirl]

I hope this doesn't seem hollow, but my heart hurts for you, @natariru and @kirkette. Although we've only met once, I feel like I know you both and I'm in constant amazement of what strong and amazing women you both are and how much shit you've had to endure.

[TamiTaylor]

Sept 2, 2016 23:04:35 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Good luck getting superwhite to think and reflect. has everyone already forgotten the Maria thing?

I have never forgotten. I just had a convo not too long ago about my head exploding when I saw posters wishing her to come out of her Pokemon thread and join the regular boards again. Fuck that!

[KaraOrNot]

((@natariru)). Your boys are lucky to have you.

[TamiTaylor]

I reposted my links in the Pokemon thread since it was clearly and willingly ignored the first time.

[blueberry10]

@natariru, I'm so sorry. My heart hurts over what you and other WOC have been/are dealing with time and again.

I feel bad for only quickly posting in randoms this morning - I've been a bit scarce lately due to work and I had just finished an upsetting phone call. I'm trying to get caught up on the articles that have been posted. I'm thinking hard about things I need to talk about with my kids, especially DD as she learns more and more about how people treat each other.

I have been typing and retyping trying to find the perfect words to say but I am coming up short. I just keep coming back to the thought that while I'm just trying to raise kids who aren't jerks, so many parents have so much more than that to worry about just because of the color of their and their children's skin. It shouldn't be that way and it is weighing on my mind.

[pugz]

Sept 2, 2016 23:08:43 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

Sept 2, 2016 23:04:35 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Good luck getting superwhite to think and reflect. has everyone already forgotten the Maria thing?

I have never forgotten. I just had a convo not too long ago about my head exploding when I saw posters wishing her to come out of her Pokemon thread and join the regular boards again. Fuck that!

that was a stupid comment and I apologize for making it.  

[longtimenopost]

Ladies, I want you to know that I didn't just apologize and peace out. I am still here reading every word. I thought I knew better, I didn't. My words were selfish and cruel, and I am still deeply ashamed of the additional pain my ignorance caused.

[luckyno7]

@natariru thank you for continuing to be open and sharing your worries with us. I couldn't imagine living with those worries every single day. I am sorry.

[mishy]

My heart aches for you @natariru. I want to help shield you and your boys from all the inexcusably inevitable hurt to come. I commit to make a difference. You are worth it. Your kids are worth it. And that goes for all the WOC here.

I will be damned if my child grows up to be a bystander. Listening to the personal stories here made me start talking to my 4 y/o about racial injustice and our need to speak up. It's fucked up that she showed more interest and empathy in response to a brief intro to the issue than some of the women on this very board. @supergreen just so you know, I think my 4 y/o cares more about racism than you do. Wait, not think, I know. Fuck you.

[sewpinkgal]

I lurk when I can these days and only actually post every so often, but I have actual IRL friends (@kirkette, miso) that are posting here and I don't want them to think that I'm ignoring these threads.

Even growing up in a very diverse area with a wide diversity of friends from as young as I can remember, I'm STILL working on recognizing my biases and checking them. I've learned so much from these boards, but I'm still a privileged white girl and I keep trying to do better. Even more importantly, I need to make sure my lily white sons do better.

I am so sorry that WOC keep having to have the same conversations over and over again. I mean, I get frustrated having to repeat myself to my own kids, so having to keep saying the same damn things over and over to grown women has to be infuriating. Thank you to those of you who have fought the good fight, but I don't blame you for being over it.

And as a mother of 2 BHBE sons, I'm sorry that someone had the audacity to think/say that "extra points" are awarded for that. That is some BS through and through.

[glinda]

@natariru, I'm sorry. I have a lot of thoughts to compile but I can't get them out in a more meaningful way right now.

[laurenh]

This seems so insincere and I'm having a hard time figuring out how to not come off that way but I can't read your post @natariru and not say anything. The points you've made (over and over) are heartbreaking and to know that you have to face this daily - I'm so impressed with you and your H. Your boys are so lucky to have you. I can only hope that something changes and that they won't have to have these same conversations one day. Hugs, to you and all the WOC, I truly am sorry for how much hurt we've caused.

[DesertMoon]

@natariru

I know I don't really go here but,

I feel you on worrying about our sons future. Sometimes I don't even want to tell him were Arab. That's my privledge is my kids can hide. They can lie, say they're Any other race and people wouldn't doubt it. Still I don't want to rob them of their culture, but it is temping for their safety. You don't have that option, but your children have you, and I have no doubt you are and will continue to be a pillar of strength and wisdom to your children as they step out into a world that will notice their melanin levels before anything else. Where one child may be...slightly more privledged for being even a shade lighter. My heart goes out to you. I'm sending you lots of strength and girl/mommy power.

[Cicero]

I know this was discussed several pages ago and a lot has happened since then, but did we ever get an explaination as to why booby and V were not banned? That was some disgusting shot and I can't believe anyone would expect @kirkette to just get over it.

[Cicero]

Sept 2, 2016 22:46:31 GMT -5 NandaB said:

The saddest part is this isn't the first time @natariru and @tooshort have posted this very same thing. It's not the first time and won't be the last. And that is devastating. People here love to say how sorry they feel when they hear shit like "I can't let my daughter think it's ok to stomp her feet at me when she's mad" or "my husband used to roll play getting pulled over with my son", BUT YET THEY DONT CHANGE THE WAY THEY SPEAK AND ACT TOWARDS THE WOMEN OF COLOR IN THIS VERY COMMUNITY. And then they have the audacity to be offended when they are called out.

But no worries, it won't be long before a fucking "what happened to supergreen" post full of shit like, I know all she did was complain about her shitty husband and post about a phone game,but she brought a lot to the booooaaarrddd.

I know I haven't been here long, and let's be honest, I'm usually only good for swear laden one liners or mediocre parenting advice, but WE HAVE TO DO BETTER. or guess what, we're no different than the woman on Facebook who publicly shamed me for being too mean to a racist. WE HAVE TO DO BETTER or we're no different than the parents of the 6 year old child who called my friend's daughter the n word. WE.HAVE.TO.FUCKING.DO.BETTER

Pretty much exactly this.

[booboo173]

Although I am not a frequent poster I have read a lot of what has been posted here and on cep over the past year. I thank those who have shared their experience and knowledge when it certainly has not been there job. it has been inspiring me to do more looking into and opening my eyes around me particularly irl at work and home to think about all that individuals may be experiencing and how my words and actions can affect that

[greycat]

@natariru our children are the same ages. We all worry aboiut our children but I can't even imagine the worries you have for their safety. I am so incredibly sorry that you have to carry that burden. And I'm so incredibly sorry this community which should be a place for support has caused you (and others) such pain and anger.

[matildasun]

@natariru, thank you for that honest heartbreaking post. I am sorry that we have not only made you carry that worry and burden alone, but have added to it.

[chickens987]

In the last year, my DD has gone from a fairly homogeneous in-home daycare to a neighborhood community center that is wonderfully diverse. Her education will continue to be full of kids of color due to where we live. 2 of her best friends are little boys who could not look more different from her and I adore them. I am painfully aware that these are the same boys that in 10 years certain of my neighbors might post about on the listserve for walking around the residential streets at night. And that is why, when I see things like that happen, I will speak up.

[CheeringCharm]

@natariru I'm so sorry that people here add to your fear and pain. This should be a safe place where everyone feels supported and I'm sorry it's not. The fact that we keep going through this and having to have these discussions over and over again, despite people promising to do better each time, is a disgrace. It's shameful.

[Yankees21]

@natariru, your post is heartbreaking- I'm so sorry that you and other WOC have to deal with things that white people cant even imagine and that we haven't made this a safe space for you. I think of you often when I see the huge stack of books you sent my DS for Secret Santa and how thoughtful that was. I hope I, and this community as a whole, can do a better job at showing how valuable the WOC to this place.

[abs]

So this time a year ago there was a post on CEP that stuck with me and will stick with me forever. It was sfy talking about how when she was teaching her son to drive she not only had to teach him how to drive but how to stay alive if he ever got pulled over by the police. I mean, what? That absolutely pierced my heart and opened my eyes. Since then I have seen how really not much has changed at all in this country in regards to race and have done my best to call people out IRL. I even lost my best friend over immigration issues. I'm sad that so much history is gone and tainted but I am glad I called her out and I hope she is thinking about what was said.

I'm glad this board is talking about it. We have lost so many wonderful posters over the past year and I hope it stops here. I really hope that @natariru, @tooshort, @wandering, @kirkette, and many others come back and feel safe. They shared their hears with us. We can't let that be for naught.

[darnkatz]

Every time I read about how WOC have to prepare their children for adulthood (which comes fast and far too early for children of color), I feel so angry. I am doing what I can to prepare my children for the world. I need to do more to prepare them to support their friends who will have that type of struggle and to recognize their own privilege. To be advocates and willing to fight for what is right.

The thought of having to send my child out into the world knowing that she would be seen as a predator or inherently scary is something I will never know. It is something no parent should ever have to experience or live with. I am just sorry that this is what life is like for you, because of people who look like me. I think some people here need to be slapped upside the head and realize that this isn't just about changing a message board. It's about changing how we live our lives outside of this message board too.

[CheeringCharm]

Can we ask to have V and Booby IP banned? They haven't come back that I know of but they might eventually under another name and that wouldn't be right or fair to @kirkette . Posters who continually mock and harass other posters should be IP banned.  

[humpforfree]

@natariru I am so sorry that even this place can't be a safe place. You are an amazing friend and I hate that you (and other woc) have this added burden. It horrifies me that I'd gone so long in my little bubble. I often think of you and your boys and stories you have shared about your H. I have been doing my best to create a safer place and check people when they are being gross (usually family ). <3

[dcn]

Everytime I read stories like this I resolve even more to raise my boys to not treat people that way. I don't remember my parents ever talking to me about race, and I want to do it differently. I'm so sorry anyone has to worry about it, it breaks my heart that any parent has that worry.

Apologies for posting in frivolous threads, that was careless.

[timorousbeastie]

@natariru and every other WOC here, I am so sorry. I am sorry we have failed you on this board. I am sorry we have failed you out in the world. I am sorry that you have to fear things for yourself and for your children that I as a white woman couldn't even pretend to fully understand. I am sorry.