She stays consistently messy. I'll tip my hat to that at least.
I mean that's a level of determination I've never seen. Not during marathons Not during triathlons Not during labor
She should bottle up that hardheadedness and never ending commitment to the sloppy, and sell it on EBay. She'd make a killing taking dollars from Red Bull, 5 hour Energy, and Rockstar.
Remember her pretending to take offense at a Canadian poster who dared to highlight America's racism during a Philando Castile thread? Bitch, since when are you a flag-waving patriot? Sloppy is a good characterization here. I'm all for being shady and disingenuous, but at least put some thought into it. And no, deleting ALL of your posting history doesn't really qualify.
I wrote what I wrote about white people being racists quickly, because I was off to my PTA obligations this morning, and came back to like 60 likes. Anyway, I wanted to expound a little bit since the conversation is still going on, even though it's been covered. We need to really stop seeing racist as a descriptor for dumb, uneducated rednecks or hillbillies or however you see racists. Because they are not alone. They are not the only type of racist that exists. We (white people) need to stop seeing being told we are racist as such a personal insult. Is it horrible? OF COURSE IT IS. IT IS HORRIBLE TO BE A RACIST. But if that hurts you, examine yourself first. Think about it. STOP for a moment and think before reacting to being told what you just said is racist. So yes, accept you are racist. That's when you can finally get to the point of doing better and moving from racist to not racist. And you will still fuck up and be racist, but you will start to recognize things for yourself and it can become second nature. But most importantly, stop expecting to be able to just live your life listening and learning from other people and expecting them to spell it out for you. Hold up that truth mirror - you probably aren't going to like what you see. Until you do that, though, it's just going to be the same pathetic cycle. Not just for you, but for your kids too.*
Also, I am vapid as fuck. I am an UMC white PTA suburban mom stereotype in the middle of East Tennessee. My kids eat from PBK bento boxes. My hobbies include shopping for my kids' clothes (and myself), American Girl dolls, Nordstrom and Target, among other things. I read US Weekly and watch RHOWhatever. I'm buying a minivan as soon as the 2017 Odysseys finally make it out to the public. My point is: I am you (I do not, however, wear Lularoe, because no), and you can fucking know better and do better. It is not that hard, despite all evidence to the contrary here, but it requires being 100% honest with yourself and most people don't seem to want to do that.
*Does that seem hard? Does it seem overwhelming? It's just SO HARD, isn't it? We've got all this stuff to worry about like which school is best, and how do we teach our kids about race when we were raised to be color blind?! And what we're going to wear for family pictures! And which Disney reservations to make! <----(sarcasm for those who don't know me) Well luckily for us, we have the privilege of just worrying about raising our kids to be decent human beings. The very least we can do is put time and effort into that when our friends/fellow citizens who are POC are worrying about raising their children to be able to fucking LIVE. Do you want your kids to grow up to be that police officer who shoots an unarmed black man? That's who we are. That is OUR responsibility. We don't just get to walk away from this discussion like it doesn't affect us. Don't forget it, and fucking get your shit together because this is your chance to mold the next generation, to actually DO BETTER instead of say you're listening and learning on a message board.
Oh yeah, I'm white and incredibly aware of my privilege, but I grew up in an inner city neighborhood that is absolutely considered "sketchy" or "ghetto" to outsiders. I consider myself lucky to have gone to very diverse schools and been exposed to other races and cultures from a very young age, but that doesn't mean I'm any less privileged because I'm still a white woman in this world.
I have a coworker who has made comments in the past about where I grew up, in a joking fashion, but it makes it so clear that he is so tone deaf from growing up in a 99% white, suburban, private school upbringing. Due to all of these conversations we've been having here, I made it a point to ask about diversity in his son's new private high school (next to none, he guessed maybe 10 POC in his son's class of 150). And then I asked him how he planned to teach his kids about diversity if they're not exposed to it on a daily basis. He had no answer because he and his kids have never had to think about it before. I really hope that me asking about it made him think about it more.
I don't understand this concept of "I've been exposed to other cultures" or exposing kids to other cultures/ethnicities as though that's some magic bullet here.
People aren't animals in a zoo for whites to "teach" their kids about by "exposing" them to them.
Stop thinking of POC as some sort of "other" that our kids need to be "exposed" to.
Even this thought process is racist.
Yes!! While I do think that being exposed to other cultures and how other people live their lives is beneficial to our kids, we have to be very careful about treating it like a zoo (God, I hate that analogy so much) or just entertainment.
This is has been on my mind since last week and all of the listening and learning going on. At what point does all of this immersion turn into just another form of entertainment? Othering POC only leads to a value system based on a white rich consumer based ideology: You're only worth as much as you can entertain me. Rather than seeing them as human beings with values of their own that aren't based on our understanding of them. This is why it is so frustrating and flat out disrespectful. Jesus, even the news lately has become a carnival of black bodies positioned to entertain the suburban liberal. I am so ashamed of myself and "my people" whoever they are for forgetting that these are real lives not just minstrels used to make me feel more informed.
I am sincerely trying to change myself, and acknowledging my privilege and racism, and I am still treading that fine line by being entertained by POC and really wanting to have a new worldview.
Post by IrishBelle on Sept 9, 2016 11:42:17 GMT -5
Holy shit people! I've just caught up and this is appalling.
As a white person, we don't get to decide what others find offensive. We can say that we are listening and learning but when it comes down to it, nothing changes.
So the lesson for today is: If you have 1-2 token WOC in your circle of friends, they probably hate you and frequently feel uncomfortable. Work on that.
This drama is awesome. The other board I am on shuts shit like this down. I could read this all day though. It is amazing.
You think this is awesome? This is horrific. This is watching a recording of a car crash in slow motion on repeat daily, and it gets more gruesome every time.
So I finally caught up on the posts that happened while I was still sleeping here on the west coast.
I realize we've moved on but I still have to say, if you're going to focus on the delivery of the message (e.g., the way TamiTaylor chose to highlight what was happening on the board last week), you're doing the exact same thing as the people who are pissed at the way Colin Kaepernick has chosen to protest. The method is not the point, the message is. Take a moment to reflect and figure out why it's making you so uncomfortable before you type out a dissent. It's embarrassing because it's seriously the least you can do. Stop using it as an excuse for your shitty behavior.Â
This is a really good point. I should not have needed people to help me see this, but I appreciate that perspective, so thank you.
'Research shows that people with the most education, highest mathematical abilities, and the strongest tendencies to be reflective about their beliefs are the most likely to resist information which should contradict their prejudices.'
I can relate, sadly, born and raised in Camden. Guess what? I like my life too!
Eta: I figured it out, see me speaks right bc I only lived in Camden for the first 12 years of my life, and I went to catholic school. They teach us poor folk nice and right.
Warning to all: I still have family that lives in Camden, just so you are aware. In case you want to insult it or something like that or maybe you want a tour?
I went to Rutgers Camden. There is a special place in my heart for that city. Granted, I was usually in the bubble that is the university district, but I still love it. I know that this isn't the place for reminiscing, but damn, I miss South Jersey so much.
I moved out of Camden when I was 12, we moved about 5 miles and a world away. I live about 12 miles away but Camden will always be in my heart. I grew up going to the Boys and Girls club, my kids go there and we volunteer at the pro-cathedral. My oldest wants to go to Rutgers-Camden. My brother works at cooper. Not a place to reminisce but perhaps this is a good place for people to see these cities they won't go in b/c they like their lives are actually places where people live b/c they like their lives.
umm yeah I did and it was fucking cute. I'm not white. Does that matter? @natariru was looking super cute in the LP stuff too. What does this even have to do with the issue at hand? You need to slow your roll and stop detracting from the very important race issues in discussion here. Flame me if you want. There are some people that have really fucked up and everyone has something to learn about their own racism and how to better treat and respect poc. I don't think it helps the conversation to just attack anything the majority of this board (albeit mostly white privileged women) were into in the past before all this shit blew up. Is it messed up that people are posting regular things now and that some very prominent regulars have avoided the conversation? Yes, of course. But I don't get people coming in here and dissing the board in general for talking clothes/sleep, rolling, diapers, wtv with absolutely no context to the racism issues and/or specific posters.
No ma'am you are missing the point of bringing up the fluff posts.
Because it is not just today or last week that we would have discussions about racism and people would veer around them to talk about ignorant shit. I'm not saying that fluff conversations cannot and should not happen. I'm saying that on this board of it wasn't fluff or white feminist shit then it was ignored.
So if you are too simple to get why I brought up permissive diapering and try to reduce it to me taking away from the thread you Madame are missing the fucking point.
I almost forgot! Please don't feel left out! I'm equal opportunity!
FUCK YOU!
I DO get the point of your posts. None of your posts apply to my statement:
But I don't get people coming in here and dissing the board in general for talking clothes/sleep, rolling, diapers, wtv with absolutely no context to the racism issues and/or specific posters.
I am going to put myself out there and show some pearly ass in the hopes that I can reach some of my brethren.
Last night I was feeling a little defensive [fragile] about the MMM roast that was playing out. It sucks being ridiculed.
It took an embarrassing amount of time and reflection before I realized this: what I'm feeling when I read this stuff, is not entirely dissimilar to what it must be like to read a judgy thread about ear piercing or what to name our collective baby to maximize the return on privilege. Except that WOC didn't do anything to deserve that in the first place, whereas we privileged white women are doling out deaths by 1000 cuts with these ignorant conversations and repeatedly CANNONBALL!!! back into the pool after adult swim is over, clearly not actually internalizing or growing.
It's stupid that this keeps happening. We are supposed to be a group of intelligent ladies and be able to have uncomfortable conversations. And most of all, support and actually do something for those who are hurting. Right now we need to focus on how to be better people and pay attention to our actions. How much do our ladies have to be hurting before we actually do something?
I bet most of you who say you are "listening and learning" probably aren't doing much anyway. Have you read the articles? Have you spoken with other people IRL? Have you stopped and thought about your own privileges and checked yourself before reacting?
I feel like my thoughts are all jumbled up, but this has got to stop. And it starts with you. All of you. You can go and educate yourself and model better behaviors for your children and everyone else. We can't expect WOC to guide us through this. This is all on you. Don't go off and gossip/complain about the uncomfortable issues with other people. You're the problem. If you feel uncomfortable, it's a good time to check yourself.
ETA: I know I've said things that were insensitive and stupid in the past too.
Non-apology apologies, limitless defensiveness and fragility, shock over learning that you can be educated and liberal and still be racist, an impassioned defense of fake Lilly Pulitzer, some nutjob claiming to be a dragon. This thread really has everything, doesn't it?
No ma'am you are missing the point of bringing up the fluff posts.
Because it is not just today or last week that we would have discussions about racism and people would veer around them to talk about ignorant shit. I'm not saying that fluff conversations cannot and should not happen. I'm saying that on this board of it wasn't fluff or white feminist shit then it was ignored.
So if you are too simple to get why I brought up permissive diapering and try to reduce it to me taking away from the thread you Madame are missing the fucking point.
I almost forgot! Please don't feel left out! I'm equal opportunity!
FUCK YOU!
I DO get the point of your posts. None of your posts apply to my statement:
But I don't get people coming in here and dissing the board in general for talking clothes/sleep, rolling, diapers, wtv with absolutely no context to the racism issues and/or specific posters.
I don't think there is need for context though? It's pretty simple. It looks shitty to start and post in threads about fluff while ignoring this giant thread filled with substance, that is literally right next to the threads about rolling over and clothes or whatever.