I took a late, long lunch while all this happened. COME ON, PEOPLE. I am not native enough to think that there no off board gossip. But really.
And look, if you get called out, don't try to invalidate the anger people feel. Don't try to "put it in context", which is just "well, ACTUALLY..." but with different words. Take your lumps and figure out what, if anything, you can do about it. It's hard and it doesn't feel good, but trying to hide from it isn't going to help you either.
I never had the app, just got the texts to my phone, so never knew the name. I didn't get any texts in Australia, so I had no idea what was going on. When I got the text this morning I thought I'd been removed too and called out members of the group for being removed for having a black husband, but was told that wasn't the case. I feel absolutely disgusted. This bullshit is out of control.
Since I seem to be singled out and many posters were excluded from this call out, I will be the one to speak out here.
It was a group started for easy comms while we were in Chicago, the name is easily changed. I never changed the name.
I freely admit I think TamiTaylor's posts on every thread made me CRAZY. While I did not change the name of the group but I do think she was being the board police and I did not agree with her methods. I don't feel like you can force these conversations if people don't want to have them.
I DID speak up when Natariru was removed by someone other than me. It was pretty clear how I felt about it. Several people did and she was re-added within 10 min based on the general feedback of myself and other contributors.
Other than that the group just talked about other things in their lives outside the race conversations during the time of silence on other topics on this board.
I'm sorry.
FTR, it wasn't every thread. Just the fluffy ones. I left the mom one and the child loss alone.
Since I seem to be singled out and many posters were excluded from this call out, I will be the one to speak out here.
It was a group started for easy comms while we were in Chicago, the name is easily changed. I never changed the name.
I freely admit I think TamiTaylor's posts on every thread made me CRAZY. While I did not change the name of the group but I do think she was being the board police and I did not agree with her methods. I don't feel like you can force these conversations if people don't want to have them.
I DID speak up when Natariru was removed by someone other than me. It was pretty clear how I felt about it. Several people did and she was re-added within 10 min based on the general feedback of myself and other contributors.
Other than that the group just talked about other things in their lives outside the race conversations during the time of silence on other topics on this board.
I'm sorry.
FTR, it wasn't every thread. Just the fluffy ones. I left the mom one and the child loss alone.
You also left the afo's for American girl dolls alone. SnR So I appreciated that.
I am just catching up but this is disgusting. People claim to be learning and listening, but that is clearly not the case. Once I am through the thread I am sure I will have more to add. I want to say I am surprised that this is still happening, but I am not.
Post by penguingrrl on Sept 8, 2016 17:42:12 GMT -5
I'm beyond appalled at the lengths people will go to to be free to spew hate publicly. We haven't learned. Some try to hide it better, but nothing has changed. I'm disgusted.
Post by katrinabennett on Sept 8, 2016 17:44:26 GMT -5
I know a lot of you are saying you expect private messages talking about other people, but I am disappointed if that's happening here too
Last week when people moved on and posted Halloween posts and what should I eat for dinner threads in the middle of the race discussions, I was flabbergasted. I felt weird even opening another post. I was so pleased when people posted articles, lists of books and other topics so we could keep the discussion going. I felt proud of us.
And then TamiTaylor posted her call out and I was so glad. I felt shame that The rest of us hadn't known better in the first place. I went into every post to see her call out post and I kept smiling. That took a lot of her time and good on her.
And I was so happy. I felt like we were good people. Like we WERE listening and learning.
This is truly 3rd grade level baloney. And I called @natariru a mean girl. OMG - talk about getting the wrong end of the stick. I eat my words. The rest of you, talking behind people's backs and smiling to their faces. You are the meanest girls. I am WAY too old for this.
WTF at people having concerns about what TamiTaylor, was posting on the board. SHE WAS RIGHT. EVERYONE (myself included) needed to fucking be checked. We should be thanking her and the many others who called everyone on their crap and made us pay attention (or falsely made us think people were paying attention).
I know a lot of you are saying you expect private messages talking about other people, but I am disappointed if that's happening here too
Same. Feels like high school all over again.
Sometimes I am on here and I don't feel cool. Like nobody really is 'friends' with me. Hello, high school. But more often, I am glad I am not one of the cool kids.
Lol everybody's sorry but plenty of you are probably doubling down on security of your outside groups so you can keep on having your low rent racist convos
The two facedness is so typical
Oh to be a fly on the wall to view all the hand wringing. I bet I'm getting called a fucking bitch too, lol.
If everyone involved in this drama were white ... or if someone in the conversation committing a microagression/aggression were a guy ... we'd still call out that sort of sniping as "tone-policing", right? Which is a big no-no.
I know I'm likely to be flamed for this, but I'll be the first to admit that Tami's posts rubbed me the wrong way-I felt like it was forcing people to post things that didn't matter (listening/learning) so they could be acknowledged that they were "present" in the thread. I read everything over a couple of days and didn't have anything to add-but definitely learned some things. But the posts certainly had good intentions and hopefully got people to read. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it sunk in.
I have had a number of conversations with people of color IRL that I engage with for work. Their realities are still mind blowing to me. I grew up in a small town with 1 family from South Africa. Everyone else was a middle-upper middle class white family with privilege. The one thing I learned very quickly moving out of that bubble was to shut up and listen. Listen and learn. Come on, people. Shut up, step away from the keyboard. Evaluate what is going through your mind first before you type it out.
I'd like to think people here will do better moving forward, but I don't have high hopes considering this makes 2 posts in a matter of days with some straight up bullshit.
Well, I am just going to say it. I am not surprised in the least. I am horrified for Nata, because I think removing her from a group thread is horrible. But I am not surprised. I have posted online long enough to know that for every comment made here that is the least bit juicy, there is at least one OB thread somewhere discussing it further. So yeah, I am not surprised. But I am sad that Nata had to have her emotions trolloped on, again.
Post by noodleskooze on Sept 8, 2016 17:56:17 GMT -5
Hey white people? Ya know how some of us are annoyed this happened? That we have to interact with these people and have been for years?
All I can think of is the WOC. How this is just a fraction of what they've been facing; of what they've been saying; of what they've been fighting. They've told us before and we didn't listen. We didn't care. Now we've lost a lot of them, and I, for one, don't blame them one bit. To those of my friends who are WOC who see this, I'm really so sorry you encounter so many vile people here and irl. I'm sick for you all.
It is disappointing but not naive enough to think it doesn't happen.
Yeah, I'm disappointed but not surprised. It was a really active board to not. Of course active posters went somewhere else so they didn't have to engage in conversations that made them uncomfortable. Makes perfect sense but it's gross.
I'm so angry that this board has run off natariru and so many others are just leaving and staying silent now.
I know I'm likely to be flamed for this, but I'll be the first to admit that Tami's posts rubbed me the wrong way-I felt like it was forcing people to post things that didn't matter (listening/learning) so they could be acknowledged that they were "present" in the thread. I read everything over a couple of days and didn't have anything to add-but definitely learned some things. But the posts certainly had good intentions and hopefully got people to read. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it sunk in.
I have had a number of conversations with people of color IRL that I engage with for work. Their realities are still mind blowing to me. I grew up in a small town with 1 family from South Africa. Everyone else was a middle-upper middle class white family with privilege. The one thing I learned very quickly moving out of that bubble was to shut up and listen. Listen and learn. Come on, people. Shut up, step away from the keyboard. Evaluate what is going through your mind first before you type it out.
I'd like to think people here will do better moving forward, but I don't have high hopes considering this makes 2 posts in a matter of days with some straight up bullshit.
I can't force people to not be racist but was fed up with pretending like shit was a-okay. So I rang the metaphorical alarm so people would actually (hopefully) take some fucking notice to this bullshit. I'm fucking loud and don't know when to quit. Fully admit that. Eric says it's my best and worst quality and he's right.
I know a lot of you are saying you expect private messages talking about other people, but I am disappointed if that's happening here too
Same. Feels like high school all over again.
Except so much worse. Instead of being teens with little life experience that are being taught what to think by family, this is "grown" women in the real world who have watched all the things posted and have seen the racism happen, yet continue being nasty individuals. It's nearly psychopathic. Or maybe it is.
I am sincerely sorry for my actions, @natariru . I have asked the moderators to replace me as H&F mod so that is covered, and I will be taking my leave.
Yeah, I'm disappointed but not surprised. It was a really active board to not. Of course active posters went somewhere else so they didn't have to engage in conversations that made them uncomfortable. Makes perfect sense but it's gross.
I'm so angry that this board has run off natariru and so many others are just leaving and staying silent now.
Oh, I haven't been run off. I'm leaving bc you people suck.
Except so much worse. Instead of being teens with little life experience that are being taught what to think by family, this is "grown" women in the real world who have watched all the things posted and have seen the racism happen, yet continue being nasty individuals. It's nearly psychopathic. Or maybe it is.
It is the epitome of white privilege and fragility.